Hello!
My wife and I have agreed on a baby girl's name, but we disagree strongly on the spelling.
Our child will be Italian American and have my Italian surname, and therefore, I prefer Giulia. Also, my wife and I both have names that start with G, so I think it would be neat if our daughter's name started with G too.
My wife is strongly opposed to Giulia but is 100% on board with Julia. She argues that people will not be able to pronounce Giulia, and my surname is difficult enough as it is. She also feels that Giulia is too unconventional for an American child (albeit one who is of Italian descent, who will attend Italian language school, and who will hopefully spend a great deal of time in Italy).
What do you all think?
Re: Julia v. Giulia
My two cents: I'm not into family theme names. For that reason alone I'd steer away from Giulia and use Julia. Also, going with a G name now, will set a precedent for any sibling and limit your name options.
One point that I forgot to mention is that we're naming the baby after my maternal grandmother, who was from Greece. When she came to America, she adopted the American spelling of her name, Julia. Therefore, I wouldn't say I'm strongly opposed to Julia.
Rather, I strongly prefer Giulia. I think what bothers me about Julia is that the spelling doesn't go well with my surname. There's no J in the Italian alphabet, so it looks funny to me. My own first name is Italian and is spelled in the conventional Italian manner, which I like. Also, I don't mind that my Greek heritage isn't reflected in my name.
My wife is not of Italian descent, but her very Polish surname will be our child's middle name. The child will not be of Polish descent (our sperm donor is Italian American), and my wife doesn't feel a particularly strong connection to her heritage the way I do to mine.
This is will be our only child, so, fortunately, we don't have to worry about siblings. We just have to get this one right.
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Me: 33 DH: 34
DS1: March 18, 2016
DS2: due June 7, 2018
Also, if you would be naming your daughter Julia after your grandmother, who went by Julia (that spelling), it's a bit odd to change the spelling (now, if it had been Joolea, I'd been with you, but Julia is a normal, accepted spelling). I understand that the J doesn't exist in Italian, and that it looks odd to you. However, your wife is of Polish heritage and Giulia isn't the normal spelling in Polish. Now I realise that she's not that connected to her heritage, but she is connected to her American side. Giulia Italian LN is very Italian. Your child may be of Italian American heritage and not Polish, but that isn't the main factor regarding the name that your wife and you choose. You may be super connected to your Italian side, but there are other ways to have your child connect to her Italian side,
Long story short, if you feel so strongly about Giulia and can't compromise, I'd go with another name that is spelled the same in English and Italian.
-your grandma spelled her name this way
-your wife isn't Italian and IMHO her heritage is more important than the sperm donor even if she doesn't feel attached to her heritage
-the baby is getting your last name
-you live in america and Julia is the more common spelling
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
I'm also of the option that while you may need to only correct each person once, how many of hundreds of people will you need to correct over your life?
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A lot of the Italian G names are popular now and i think mosst people can handle it. The spelling is a bit trickier.
While i prefer your version I dont think it is a hill to die on.
This general debate comes up occasionally on this board. I usually feel that if you and your family identify strongly with the other culture, then it's fine to give your child a name from that culture that may be trickier or less familiar to Americans. But if a couple is only picking it to be different or cool, then it's a bad idea. For instance, I would say that if a couple is considering naming a daughter Aoife, but aren't of Irish descent themselves, or they are in a distant way, but there's nothing particularly "Irish" about their lives other than throwing back a few green beers on St. Patty's day, then they're making a mistake. To cope with the challenges of being an Irish-American kid with a name that's unusual and hard to pronounce, the child will need to be sustained by other connections to Irish culture.
In your case, it seems that your child will be raised with close ties to her Italian culture. If you and your wife already have close ties to Italy, even though that's your heritage and not hers, and you already live a life that's steeped in Italian cultural traditions, then I don't think there's any reason not to name your child Giulia. It's not so uncommon and challenging to pronounce and spell.
If, however, your wife still really feels strongly, then Julia is a good compromise. It was good enough for your grandmother when she came from Greece! One thing you might consider, in this case, is using Giulia as her name in the Italian world. Your daughter could be Julia legally and in American classrooms, but go by Giulia in Italian school and when visiting Italy.
Giulia is going to be just fine.