WTF Wednesday 6/28

vflux33

@lurvleybunchococonuts I think I got you beat. My sister's wedding date ended up being less than 2 months after her divorce was finalized. 

@kmalls ;@lurvleybunchococonuts I think a lot people are unfairly judged for making commitments early (MH and I moved in together fast enough to turn a few heads so I've been on both sides of this). But when you're barely divorced and have kids especially, seems prudent to wait just a tiny bit and I wish my sister had because, guess what, it's been 6 months since her wedding and it's not looking too hot for them ATM. When people go overboard on social media affection they can't really get mad when people side eye them. I always feel like some people do that to "prove" their love to the outside world, which shouldn't need to be done.

kmalls

@vflux33 completely agree on the social media aspect. When it's overboard, there's clearly some overcompensation being made. And yes, if you are just coming out of a major relationship and ESPECIALLY if there are kids involved, please, take lots and lots of time before throwing yourself into a major commitment. 

For us, even though the engagement happened so quickly, we took a year before getting married. We also met at a different point in our lives than a lot of young couples making immediate and grand proclamations of love on social media: I was 31, DH was 44. We weren't exactly going into it without some "wisdom" under our belts 

jsnakehole

Me and DH moved in together two months after our first date, but we waited a year to get married. We just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary, so so far, so good. 

But I also think we're a little crazy and took a huge risk with the way we did things. 

looeeze

My WTF is for our current AirBnb guests, who just texted me asking if "there's a bottle opener anywhere in here."  Not because he wants a bottle opener, but because WTF are they still doing in my house? Are you not a tourist in a new city? Go tour! 

kiki75

Pretty soon after H and I started dating, he posted something sweet but not grossssss mushy on my Facebook. I deleted that shit and told him that wasn't going to fly. 

vflux33

@kmalls Yeah I think time before engagement is less of a thing if you have a year of wedding planning and/or you're 30+. MH and I moved in together right away--I was 19 and he was 22. We waited 6-7 years to get engaged, but of course we did--I was 19! If I had met him at 35, I'm sure we wouldn't have waited that long.

We can't control when we meet the person we want to take that step with. We CAN, however, control how we present our relationships on social media, and we CAN be respectful of kids from prior marriages (for those who have them) and allow them to get used to things first. It would have cost my sister and BIL NOTHING to wait another 6 months or year. Now the kids are all used to him and if there's another divorce (which there might be) it's going to be very distressing to at least one of them, if not both. 

doxiemoxie212

Just as an alternative, my parents met at age 20, dated for 10 years before getting married, were married for 10 years before trying to have kids (just me), separated 10 years after that, and they divorced 10 years after that. So a slow burn doesn't spell success more than a fast one! Lol 

doxiemoxie212

Also these are the only appropriate social media posts, in my opinion:

1) simple, informative, to the point
2) infused with humor and self awareness 
3) customer support complaint directed at brands/companies and then deleted once the brand/company fixes the issue 
4) ....I can't think of a 4th 

mamasaurus12415

My WTF is that MH still went to his jiu jitsu class tonight despite coming home to discover that I've had a hard day and could really use a break. Side-eyeing him REAL hard.

nitnat007

@mamasaurus12415 Sorry YH didn't stay home with you. Sometimes men are just clueless! *creepy hugs*