After Dark...Take Two! — The Bump
September 2017 Moms

After Dark...Take Two!

Our last after dark got very interesting... let's try this again! 
Here we can discuss all things sexy time. Let's be honest, it isn't always super glorious, even not pregnant! Sometimes it's just nice to have a place to discuss all the adult things. 


Re: After Dark...Take Two!

  • We used to do it pretty often pre pregnancy (maybe 4-5 nights a week) but this is also our first kid so we had a fair amount of free time at night...In the beginning it slowed down and now that my sex drive is back in full force it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to do it. It's driving me NUTS.
  • @jena333-2 I've had the dry problem since DS, but it seems like if DH gets handsy and let's me finish first it's waaaaay better. Also, I'm very self conscious about this giant belly as well, but I feel a lot better if we spoon or do doggy, or anything from behind/side lying ish. I also have the meltdowns. But I have to remind myself that we love each other and it's not fair for me to always only get it when I want it, which is half as often as he wants it, so half the time he's shot down and that's gotta suck.... I went through a brief horny phase where we did it a lot and it would suck if he didn't want to.... And the handy the other morning was fairly fast, so that helped! 
  • My libido has been really high in second trimester and I've been trying to take advantage of it, but my H isn't as interested as frequently as me. He hasn't said it, but the belly is making positions difficult, so I've been trying to be creative. Last pregnancy I was on complete pelvic rest 2nd-3rd tri and I had to wait a while due to complications after delivery. It was incredibly frustrating at times, but we tried to keep up some level of regular romantic intimacy, even if it was just kissing and cuddling.
  • @wyomama0427 My husband said before me he never got a good handy. A few years ago we started using coconut oil as lube, works better than any lube I've ever tried (apparently not everyone loves it... but we do), so you just put some on your hands and you let your hands slide around. Now when I give handies I feel like this: 
    SATC - root chakra episode

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  • @LosAngelesMama Hahaha oh my!

    Me: 27 years old            DH: 27 years old
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  • @mrs_tacos Will be be able to resume sex that quick? My OB office recommends nothing in that region for 6-8 weeks PP. 

    On the topic of coconut oil, make sure your SO won't react poorly to it before going all out with the handy. Because the skin is thinner / more sensitive in that region, they may react differently to it there than if it was applied to the hands or arms. That is an EMS call don't nobody want to see.

    Our sex life has stayed fairly regular. DH has overcome his whole weirdness about pregnant sex. I used to be the initiator when it came to sex, but lately it has been all him. He is adorable. DH will start playing with the baby belly (aka trying to annoy the baby because he thinks it's funny to watch my belly morph when she moves about and kicks). Then he gets all sentimental and will kiss the belly and move on to more romantic things.
  • JNR6510 said:
    @mrs_tacos Will be be able to resume sex that quick? My OB office recommends nothing in that region for 6-8 weeks PP. 


    stuck in the damn box now.... but we only waited like three weeks I think... 
  • @JNR6510 it depends a lot on vaginal vs cesarean birth. Cesareans some times get clearance as soon as 2 weeks. Vaginal usually is cleared by 6, but the amount of tearing can extend things. They will also want to get your birth control set up before then. 
  • My drive has gone way up in the past month or 2, but we have been traveling for about 3 weeks. Two together, and the past week, just me and DD. Sharing a hotel room with a 14 month old for 2 weeks doesn't allow much time for sex. I am entering that awkward phase where it is tough to move around and hard to be on my back for too long. I think we need to get more creative.
  • For those questioning how fast you can go back at it, I will just throw my experience out there. I had second degree tears. Not horrible. I tore front and back, but I had a lot of pressure pain for a while. It would hurt anytime I needed to *ahem* poop. Anyway, I got cleared at my first PP appointment, but it took a while still before I could actually enjoy sex. 

  • I was told 4-6. My Dr is looking at booking our follow up check up internal at 6 weeks already. 

    Canadian Bumpie - Texas bound
    DS #1 [S-5]
    3 Step Daughters [A-8] [E-6] [I-4]
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  • It was.....awhile.....after DD before we could even have sex, and even longer before I could enjoy it. I got cleared at the 8 week appt (or whenever the standard is). But if you are nursing, it is SUPER dry down there. After multiple failed attempts, I went back to the doctor to get a prescription for my horrid hemmhorids (that ended up being fissures....ouch....) and Estrogen cream.

    Turns out, when my vagina was healing, it was almost like a rubber band around the outside that basically tightened the skin just way too much - you may have something similar with other scars or mole removals. 

    So, basically, it may be longer than the 6-8 weeks, but I would absolutely encourage anyone with issues to go to the doctor sooner than I did.
  • I was told 6 weeks PP and got cleared at my post appt. we tried it right after. Definitely hurt the next few times but then I was good.

    with my 1st we did for sure weekly or more up until 38 weeks then DH thought my water would break lol This time I'm just more tired. I'm always on top but probably will have to switch to side soon for some of it which isn't my favorite but it's getting harder for me to be on top as in I can't really lean forward as much. 
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  • Pre pregnancy we were doing it about 2 times a day. So far this pregnancy I have had no issues so we have sex damn near every day. My DH does not get fazed by pregnancy at all. The only thing he has said is he misses being able to "throw me around". Mind you he is still capable but I am way too self conscious for all that. Lol He is a God when it comes to going down on me and loves doing it so that happens pretty much daily with the sex. 
  • Breath_Easy92Breath_Easy92
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2017
    First trimester I was legit vomiting all the time so we never got to have sex. Since then I've been on pelvic rest/ limited activity and we aren't allowed. I'm dying, my sex drive sky rocketed over the whole second trimester but I'm just not allowed and I rather have a healthy LO. Does anyone have any advice for getting back into things after this long after the baby comes? We use to have sex about every day. I'm so worried it's just going to be weird once we can again. 
  • @JNR6510 My doctor says 6 week for a normal vaginal birth, even one with some mild to moderate tearing, and I'm due early in the month. So if I give birth at 40 weeks, that's the second full week of September, and would put my six weeks somewhere between October 22nd and 28th.
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  • lap018lap018
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    My OB told me several of his patients have come in at their 6 week post partum appt and find out they're pregnant again! I waited the six weeks for sure then was cleared but it hurt the first few times. Second degree tears here too
  • I think I'm broken.  FI is amazing at going down but I still dislike it and it takes me forever to get comfortable then I just feel bad.  Shower Bjs have become our favourite thing.   

    Canadian Bumpie - Texas bound
    DS #1 [S-5]
    3 Step Daughters [A-8] [E-6] [I-4]
    Baby #2 09/10/2017 
    It's a BOY! 
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker

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