Dumb Questions - June

kvruns

What do you have this month?

kvruns

This isn't necessarily a dumb question, but have you put in place a will since LO was born (if you didn't have one already)? I feel like I need to I just don't have the motivation .... or desire to spend $$$. But I know it is important. 

jsmai

@kvruns We've talked about it a lot since S was born.  Once we get the okay from our friends, who we'd like to be her guardian,  we plan to set one up. Figuring out who'd take her of we died was harder than we thought. Our first choice,  my SIL, wasn't okay with it. (She has zero experience with kids)

Ladybug2821

I have thought about it also and her guardian would be her God mother.  But we have not done anything further. I'm glad you said something though because it had slipped my mind. 

tvh1982

I was supposed to do once I got pregnant to officially have a guardian as I'm on my own and in case only one of us would make it. 
I spoke with my ex who is a lawyer, but never got around to do the paperwork.
Now I'm back in NL, my LO would automatically go to my sister or my mother, and my mother agrees with me my sister is the best pick.
I was actually thinking about making one anyway as to make my sisters husband a guardian too, only if they are still married. 
If they are divorced or getting divorced I feel my sister should decide if my LO joins her LO's when they see their dad.

SandNStarsNJ

We're on the second kid and have yet to do this. Every time DH has mentioned anything close to it he just says his parents would take the kids, which I completely disagree with and am too afraid to say aloud. 

We're still working on getting life insurance for me too though. 

Ladybug2821

Oh yeah... have to get the life insurance too  .

kvruns

I have no idea who B would go to. Heck if I were to die tomorrow I'm not sure where he would go bc when the topic came up before my H was basically like nope won't be me - and while that was months ago when he was in the depths of it all I'm still not sure he would be able to handle it. 

Life insurance: I have 50k through my work and I haven't signed up for anything additional 

leighry

I'm on kid #4. No will. I can't leave the kids with my husband's parents. One of his sisters already has 3 kids of her own and his other sister has none yet but just got married. I don't want to burden my parents with 4 kids when they're looking to retire in the next 5 years. My brother has 2 kids of his own and is an asshole so he isn't an option. My two sisters would be great but I feel bad dumping four kids on either of them but I don't want to separate them. So .... I don't know. Ugh.

I do have life insurance though!!! In total I have ... maybe 1.5 million ish?

mrsmoose5

Kid #2 and no will or life insurance here. Oops! We've talked a little about it. H would want the kids to go to his parents, but like @SandNStarsNJ I am totally against that, but wouldn't want to say it out loud. They act like they are such wonderful kid people, but in reality they treat dogs better than they treat children. I would want them to go to my mom. She lives right across the street from us and sees the kids every single day, but I think H would be against that because she is single after 3 divorces and currently living in an apartment (just so she can be close to us), so I think he thinks it wouldn't be a very stable environment for them.

SandNStarsNJ

Get out of my head @mrsmoose5! I think DH hesitation with my mom is that she's single and not wealthy. But his parents live states away and have yet to really get to know our kids. They try to force what they like and know on them and it never works. 

Ok. Done jacking the thread. Sorry. 

RhodaMorgenstern

We made our wills a few months ago. We agreed that A would go to my husband's best friend and his wife (her godfather). They're incredibly stable and just good people. We both have life insurance through our jobs and we both have enough to pay off our mortgage if one of us dies. 
Funny enough, we bought a package deal from wills.com through livingSocial. We don't have super complex financial dealings so we filled it out online, printed and had it notarized. I checked with a lawyer friend and that's all you need in Maryland.

kvruns

@RhodaMorgenstern I got thinking about it because I saw a package on Living Social! I was curious though how good they were or legit I guess 

kristah2

H is a lawyer and we still don't have our will.. he's done one for others but still hasn't done ours so that's annoying. 
I don't know what we're going to do with M if something happens. We want his godparents but they live away and I feel if we both pass and he's dealing with losing both parents I don't want him to have to deal with moving accross the country too. 
H is also pro his mom but she has a 6 year old. And lives away. I'd rather my mom. At least he lives here and sees m once a week or more versus once or twice a year. 

H is also slacking on the life Insurance. He gets good rates through the Canadian bar association. He picked a package he likes and just hasn't gone any further. Which is also annoying because I'm going to be pissed if he dies and was too lazy to fill out some forms and I end up with nothing and can't afford our mortgage because of it. 

Ladybug2821

I've been super slacking on going to church. I've only been once since S was born. I really need to start going especially since I already scheduled her christening. But I'm worried it will interfere with nap time and it is super loud there. The service is 1.5-2 hrs long. The first 30 mins is normally just singing so maybe I'll go later hoping she wakes up from a nap right before then and then nap on the way home. Anyone else have this worked to a science?

hoosiermama-2

@Ladybug2821 No, ma'am. Mass is usually just over an hour and she hits nap time about 20 minutes in... I just have to cradle and rock her, hope she falls asleep, then hold her while she sleeps.

lajoliedreamer

@ladybug2821 - I bring E to Synagogue every week. Service starts at 10:30 and is 2-2.5 hrs then we stay the afternoon for lunch and community. She loves the singing (and the hand drums) and there is a nursery at the back of the sanctuary if she needs to play. If she needs to nap, I put her in a carrier or she just naps in someone's arms (not always me or DH). The Synagogue is an hour away from our house so she naps on the way there, usually takes a shorter snooze during lunch, then naps again on the way home. She has napped during services before and the noises didn't stop her from napping.  

kvruns

I'm jealous of your LOs sleeping while held. Mine only does it if I'm trying to salvage sleep and he's fighting hard. Otherwise no naps while held. It's sad 

desoky01

Me too @kvruns, LO no longer naps in my arms. I'm super sad. It's also one of those I don't remember the last time well enough things. 

RhodaMorgenstern

Our church is super child friendly and does a children's worship that we normally take A to. It's 90% singing and musical instruments. She loves it; she can crawl around the floor and make as much noise as she wants with the maracas.

lajoliedreamer

@kvruns @desoky01 - E went through a phase where she didn't sleep in our arms anymore and I felt the same way, but in the last couple weeks she started doing it again - so have hope!

m6agua

kvruns said:

This isn't necessarily a dumb question, but have you put in place a will since LO was born (if you didn't have one already)? I feel like I need to I just don't have the motivation .... or desire to spend $$$. But I know it is important. 

About a month before birth I got all the paperwork/info to do a will/estate planning/insurance, whatever all the stuff we need to do is from my Uncle who is a lawyer. We have yet to fill this out. We also still have to take inventory of our belongings for our homeowners insurance. We moved in 2 years ago.

We did ask my SIL if she would be the guardian if we pass and she agreed. I am super thankful, we really wanted it to be her but she has never wanted kids and actually recently got divorced because of this. She helps watch LO about 1-2 times a month. After the first few times I could tell she really enjoyed it so I decided to just ask her and she said yes!

kristah2

So tooth number 2 just broke through next to his first (so now 2 bottom teeth). But the initial tooth has a red spot on it. It looks like blood. Anyone else experience this?? 

desoky01

@kristah2 I've heard sometimes they can need a little when they come through. 

tvh1982

I so should go to church. I enrolled just before baptism of my LO and haven't been afterwards. That was April 9th!
We have a nursery, but as I don't know them (and things I don't know/haven't seen yet frightens me. It's an annoying thing to have) so I'm postponing, but I really should go.
We attended my nieces first holy communion in a big church she fell asleep in the beginning and woke up at the end when everyone (louder than normal) started to sing a congratulations song to the kids.

As for a guardian...I can only imagine how tough it is finding one when you have a partner. I see how my sister 'struggles' with her husband. She wants me and he wants his brother. His argument was that I lived abroad. Now I almost live around the courner, so we'll see what they decide.
Im guardian of quite some kids. I can't remember who wrote about the sister having already children and adding 4 would be too much to ask. 
Ask anyway! You want someone that is a piece of you (your believes, your love, ...) they might not mind at all. As for me I thought it was/is the most precious they have asked, they trusting me with their kids. Of course I honestly hope it never gets that far, but I'll make it work with all them kiddos.

desoky01

So I did something dumb. I let LO try to pull himself up on our cat tree while on the laminate floor in our kitchen. I was surprised and excited for him, so I wasn't thinking. Well of course he fell and bonked himself pretty good. He cried pretty hard, and now I feel horrible. Do I need to worry about him? Do I need to call or bring him in? Paranoid worried mom here. 

kristah2

@desoky01 I'm no doctor but I think as long as he's acting normal I wouldn't worry too much. M has had a couple head bumps too. 
Just keep an eye to make sure he's still himself ! 

tvh1982

I reckon he's fine @desoky01, but if you are uncertain check it out (or give a call) 
From today until another few years he'll probably will bump his head more often, and 99,9% they are ok

Ladybug2821

@desoky01 S has fell backwards and hit her head a couple times. She was completely fine. One time she didn't even cry and went on about her business. Just like everyone said, if he's himself I wouldn't stress it. 

SandNStarsNJ

If he's the same happy baby, you're good. The falls get way worse soon and the worrying never ends. Try to give yourself a pass on this one @desoky01

hoosiermama-2

Is anyone else who is EBF not as hungry as they used to be after nursing? I used to be so hungry all the time and now I'm not but I'm afraid my eating's stayed the same and I feel like my weight's creeping up. I've noticed this in the last... month?

leighry

Oh girl.. I'm right there with you. I went to my daughter's kindergarten graduation ceremony today. At the end they got to take home their portfolio of schoolwork they did over the year. One thing was an "about my mom" book she wrote. Just so everyone is aware. In the very first page she wrote "my mom loves to eat chocolates and won't stop." I almost peed from laughing so hard. But I mean.. my 6 year old just called me out!! Haha. She went on to say I have long brown hair and love the color green and buy her nice things and such... but. I couldn't get over that first page. I almost died. Out of the mouths of babes I guess.

tvh1982

Hahahah hilarious. Kids really put a mirror in front of you don't they?
A random kid asked me if I was having another baby....well thank you child I never met before.

jsmai

@tvh1982 ugh. 

kvruns

Oh no @tvh1982

@hoosiermama-2 I think I've conditioned myself to need a pre- bedtime snack like I used to have when I was starving all the time even tho I know I don't need it 

Ladybug2821

hoosiermama-2 said:

Is anyone else who is EBF not as hungry as they used to be after nursing? I used to be so hungry all the time and now I'm not but I'm afraid my eating's stayed the same and I feel like my weight's creeping up. I've noticed this in the last... month?

Yes I've been noticing I can't eat as much in one sitting. I went from eating half of sub to a whole sub while BF. But now I'm back down to a half sub for an example. I'm still hungry often but not able to consume as much. 

m6agua

I'm over here, not nursing, however still with the weight creep. Its almost back up to pregnancy weight . I am trying to quit soda again and planning on starting a Whole30 or maybe 90 soon! It's the only thing I know that works for me. Really the weight gain is because I have just been eating all the terrible things that I never really ate a lot of before.

kristah2

I still eat everything I see. And I basically eat carbs all day long. Cantstopwontstop. 

@leighry that is so funny!!

SandNStarsNJ

m6agua said:

I'm over here, not nursing, however still with the weight creep. Its almost back up to pregnancy weight . I am trying to quit soda again and planning on starting a Whole30 or maybe 90 soon! It's the only thing I know that works for me. Really the weight gain is because I have just been eating all the terrible things that I never really ate a lot of before.

You are my food twin. I can't seem to stop and the MOTN wake ups make me all sorts of a mess so I keep doubting the effectiveness on a W30 after a mediocre one in January.

RhodaMorgenstern

I'm definitely not as hungry but I'm also needing way more caffeine. No idea why as A sleeps 7-6 but I'm doing 2 coffees a day and a cherry Coke Zero in the afternoon. It's awful.

lajoliedreamer

@tvh1982 - one of the girls at my synagogue tells me almost every week that she thinks I'm having another baby. She doesn't mean anything by it, of course, but it certainly doesn't help my self-consciousness about my weight creeping up again!