@DeansGirl14 I'm aiming for an unmedicated birth. That being said, when the time comes, it will be whatever the midwives decide. I have many friends that had multiple children unmedicated and none of them feel that drugs were necessary (although they all agree it's painful AF). Drugs can slow down labor but they will also make labor more bearable. I would say that the majority of people just think that there's no reason to feel pain when you have the option of not to. Myself, personally, want to experience childbirth with the least amount of intervention as possible. I'm just too damn curious and want to know exactly what it is like to give birth as nature intended (as long as there're no risks when the time comes). Just do whatever you feel is right for you. I believe the most important is to trust your medical team to ensure that your wishes are respected while prioritizing mom & baby's health.
My plan for my first was to have an epi so that my husband and I could enjoy the experience together, and it was great. With my second I always joked that I wanted to try med free and DH was freaking out. On the day I went into labor I kept waiting for the contractions to get more painful (first labor was textbook, 12 hours total with contractions starting roughly 20 minutes apart, going to the hospital at 5 minutes apart or something like that). They stopped completely a few times and I wasn't convinced it was real labor. By the time I was convinced it was real labor the baby was born 15 minutes later on the way to the hospital. I remember in those 15 minutes thinking "how freaking soon until I can get the epi" and then the second she was born all the pain stopped - it was amazing.
I really, really hope I am strong enough to go med free this time, as recovery was instantaneous for me, but it really is so painful and god bless people who deal with that longer. That being said I'm sure my cervix going to a 10 in 15 minutes might have been on the more extreme end of labor. It was also back labor and she came out face up and my water broke as she was being born.
edit: also, I apologize if I talk about my car birth too much - it is obviously increasingly on my mind as this next labor approaches
@donehue I can't believe you gave birth in a car! It's so crazy! It must have been terrifying. How far from the hospital were you? Were you on the front seat while DH drove? Did you just pull your underwear out and there was a head? Tell me more.
@DeansGirl14 there's a thread for those of us who are planning unmedicated births. That might shed some more info for you. (Not saying it's not okay to post here, it is, just that there's some more info there as well.) I'll tag you.
I'm feeling like such a failure these days. I'm so overwhelmed I cannot keep up. I'm getting up at 4 am for work. Get home at 5pm. My house is a disaster (gives me bad anxiety). My elderly dog keeps having accidents, there are toys and dishes everywhere. My two year old needs attention and all I want to do is sleep. I feel so guilty that I can't keep up. I don't feel like I'm even seeing my husband. I'm usually so put together and on top of things. I guess I should probably get used to it but it's making me depressed. Its like pre-post pardum depression. I just cannot do it all. Last time i was nesting so hard and my house was spotless. I haven't had one single urge to do anything this time around.
@belmont1785 I'm so sorry. You are not a failure! You are growing a little person, which takes a hell of a lot of energy! I would start allocating tasks! Never hurts to ask for help. Got any family members near by that could help you around the house?
I don't really have anyone close. Hubby helps where he can, but we are on separate shifts and he works long hours too. Basically we see each other in passing when I hand off the 2 year old to him before bed. I have been planning on calling a cleaning company to get a quote for some house cleaning. It's just so hard for me to take that step. I HATE admitting that I can't do it. I hate that I'll be embarrassed by what my house looks like. But I keep telling myself I have to. My health is worth it. Last time I was put on bed rest because I kept doing too much and I had high bp and I really don't want that again. I'm really hard on myself sometimes.
@belmont1785 cleaning crews see houses in way worse conditions (I'm talking like hoarder status). Asking for help is not admitting defeat; it's being strategic! Your health and family are so worth it. Also, if you don't want to hire a cleaning crew, look into neighborhood kids looking to make money for summer (they really don't judge because their parents yell at them to clean up after their own mess).
@belmont1785 so. I'm a stay at home mom, My house still looks like that right now. Dishes on the counter and toys all over. I cleaned the living room tonight but I've been so very exhausted I can't keep up alone.
You. Are. Not. A. Failure!! You're doing what you can and that's ok. If you need some hired help, get it. Don't feel bad. Try and remember you are only one person and can only do so much. You're doing fine!!
Thanks for being the voice I needed. My feet are throbbing and I just need to feel like it's ok to splurge on this stuff.
Ultimately I feel like my job is going to have to go after this baby. I'm working an insane amount of hours. It's just unrealistic with 2 kids. I'm not the type that can stay home but right now im working 60 plus hours. I'm miserable.
@belmont1785 Echoing what PP's said.. you are doing the best you can. It's also not fair to yourself to compare to last pregnancy- you didn't have a toddler to take care of the first time around! Plus, who cares what the cleaning crew thinks when they see the house? I'm positive they've seen way worse.
@belmont1785 so. I'm a stay at home mom, My house still looks like that right now. Dishes on the counter and toys all over. I cleaned the living room tonight but I've been so very exhausted I can't keep up alone.
You. Are. Not. A. Failure!! You're doing what you can and that's ok. If you need some hired help, get it. Don't feel bad. Try and remember you are only one person and can only do so much. You're doing fine!!
Same. My house is cleaner right now than it has been in a while and it's still bad. Being pregnant with a toddler is not easy.
Yes I am. I made some really bad choices for school and have insanely high student loans (I just have a basic business admin degree but I went to a school that was way out of my league.) I own it and I dont expect others to take care of me but I owe more now then I did when I got out of school in 2008 and I've already paid $60,000. I'll be really lucky to pay them off before I die. So... I feel trapped.
But at this rate, I'll die younger because my health is at stake. I need to do some soul searching. And to find a good financial advisor.
@belmont1785 I use Charles Schaub, or however you spell them! I bet the can work some magic. The world just sets us up to be in debt these days. It's crazy that schools can be $25,000 a semester. When we are younger, we want to go to the school we want to go to. We don't want to listen to our parents who are preaching in-state , public schools. Even president Obama was talking about how he and Michelle were still in debt!
Thank God men don't have to endure childbirth, bc with the way my husband is acting about a freaking cold, there's no chance in hell he could ever endure labor and delivery!
+1 for a messy house. I have no interest or motivation to clean. I'm splurging and hiring a cleaning lady for a one time deep clean in mid July before baby gets here.
I'm no Pinterest housewife either @belmont1785 My house is messy, I haven't started emptying the guest room to do the nursery, and I'm definitely hiring a cleaning crew to do a deep cleaning before baby comes. I'm lazy, constantly traveling for work, and will most likely be just an OK mom. I'll love this little one with all my heart but he/she won't be living in a catalogue.
Re: Weekly Random 5/22
I really, really hope I am strong enough to go med free this time, as recovery was instantaneous for me, but it really is so painful and god bless people who deal with that longer. That being said I'm sure my cervix going to a 10 in 15 minutes might have been on the more extreme end of labor. It was also back labor and she came out face up and my water broke as she was being born.
edit: also, I apologize if I talk about my car birth too much - it is obviously increasingly on my mind as this next labor approaches
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
more info for you. (Not saying it's not okay to post here, it is, just that there's some more info there as well.) I'll tag you.
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
I'm usually so put together and on top of things. I guess I should probably get used to it but it's making me depressed. Its like pre-post pardum depression. I just cannot do it all. Last time i was nesting so hard and my house was spotless. I haven't had one single urge to do anything this time around.
I don't really have anyone close. Hubby helps where he can, but we are on separate shifts and he works long hours too. Basically we see each other in passing when I hand off the 2 year old to him before bed.
I have been planning on calling a cleaning company to get a quote for some house cleaning. It's just so hard for me to take that step. I HATE admitting that I can't do it. I hate that I'll be embarrassed by what my house looks like. But I keep telling myself I have to. My health is worth it. Last time I was put on bed rest because I kept doing too much and I had high bp and I really don't want that again. I'm really hard on myself sometimes.
You. Are. Not. A. Failure!! You're doing what you can and that's ok. If you need some hired help, get it. Don't feel bad. Try and remember you are only one person and can only do so much. You're doing fine!!
Thanks for being the voice I needed. My feet are throbbing and I just need to feel like it's ok to splurge on this stuff.
Ultimately I feel like my job is going to have to go after this baby. I'm working an insane amount of hours. It's just unrealistic with 2 kids. I'm not the type that can stay home but right now im working 60 plus hours. I'm miserable.
Thank you. Momming is so hard sometimes.
Yes I am. I made some really bad choices for school and have insanely high student loans (I just have a basic business admin degree but I went to a school that was way out of my league.) I own it and I dont expect others to take care of me but I owe more now then I did when I got out of school in 2008 and I've already paid $60,000. I'll be really lucky to pay them off before I die. So... I feel trapped.
But at this rate, I'll die younger because my health is at stake. I need to do some soul searching. And to find a good financial advisor.
The world just sets us up to be in debt these days. It's crazy that schools can be $25,000 a semester. When we are younger, we want to go to the school we want to go to. We don't want to listen to our parents who are preaching in-state , public schools. Even president Obama was talking about how he and Michelle were still in debt!
+1 for a messy house. I have no interest or motivation to clean. I'm splurging and hiring a cleaning lady for a one time deep clean in mid July before baby gets here.