Questions and Concerns: Week of 5/14-5/20

KatieEl

Let's hear 'em!

madcouplewithabox

Have any stm had this "hangover" in the morning feeling? It's been happening more frequent and almost made me late for work this morning:/  Anything in the past help?

missblaze

@madcouplewithabox I'm currently experiencing this. I don't remember it from my first pregnancy. 

beesquar3d

@madcouplewithabox I've been experiencing that too... I don't remember it happening the first time. 

livingoffpbjs

FTM here but thats how I described to my DH how I feel in the morning, but only for about 5 or 10 minutes when I first wake up. Slightly hungover. Which really upsets me, Im going to feel hungover but not have any alcohol be the cause? That sucks! haha

Eags

@madcouplewithabox I had that hungover feeling with our 1st, with the surrogacy, and now with our 2nd. 

I have no no idea what causes it, but man does it suck! 

madcouplewithabox

Well, push through I guess! I'll just pretent I had a wild night out  

Shanski70

I've got a work/PTO/commitment question. Is this the correct thread before I jump in with my question? I am generally just looking for perspective from you ladies on how to potentially handle the issue.

madcouplewithabox

I would say it's the right thread:)

KatieEl

@Shanski70 this would be a great place to ask that!

Shanski70

Thanks @madcouplewithabox (this is longer than I expected it to be)

Here's the gist of my situation:  I had DD in Feb 16, my employer does the typical FMLA maternity leave situation (using all vacation/sick time before the nonpaid time).  At any rate, with my EDD in January 18 I don't have nearly as much sick/vacation time stocked up this time around (I drained everything with DD and the accruals have been slow).  While I'm excited to be expecting again, I wasn't expecting to get a BFP so early this year (we weren't trying, but also not working to prevent it, but last time it took us nearly 2 years of actively trying before it happened).

All that being said, since we weren't expecting number 2 to happen so quickly, I made plans with my professional organization.  I am an international instructor for the organization and accepted two teaching assignments and agreed to attend our annual conference.  All told that's 120 hours of paid time off that I now desperately need to bank for my maternity leave.  My first teaching assignment is in June and I have already signed the contract with the host committee and the national organization agreeing to accept the assignment, as for the national conference it is at the end of September and I've already accepted scholarship money to attend and need to attend to maintain my international instructor status.  I cannot back out of either commitment at this point

The second teaching assignment is tentatively on the books for the second week of August.  I have not signed any contracts, and am thinking about requesting my employer let me teach without payment from the national organization if I don't have to use any of my vacation time (the course is being taught at my place of employment).  Barring that-I don't think I can justify accepting the assignment.  I'm not sure how to let everyone know about my predicament.  I don't feel comfortable announcing my pregnancy this early, but I do need to let everyone know if I cannot teach so they can try to find a replacement.  But I also worry that backing out will hurt my professional reputation and potentially hurt future teaching assignments.

How would you all handle this?  I'm torn, I love teaching and don't want to burn bridges, but I also don't want to completely drain my resources for maternity leave.

KatieEl

@Shanski70 I think your plan to ask your employer re: august assignment is a good one. If they decline, I think I'd just tell your professional organization that an unexpected family commitment has come up and you're unable to teach at this time, reiterating that of course you're keeping your earlier commitment and to please keep you in mind for the future. Good luck!

EmilyBurkhart

Anyone experiencing mild cramping?

missblaze

EmilyBurkhart said:

Anyone experiencing mild cramping?

Yes, every day. Intermittent, but throughout the day.

Shanski70

thanks @KatieEl I've struggled for a while with being granted teaching assignments.  I'm in a male dominated industry and was young when I earned my international instructor status (I earned it at the age of 29, in an industry where most of my instructor peers are men who are 60+ years old).

EmilyBurkhart

Thank you!! Glad to hear I am not the only one!!

[Deleted User]

@EmilyBurkhart yes to the cramping. Very mild, period-like cramps. It's pretty normal!

trudytudy

@madcouplewithabox I had a hangover feeling the whole first trimester and part of the second tri with both of my pregnancies Alllll dayyyy and night. Ugh 

madcouplewithabox

@EmilyBurkhart yep. Mild cramping off and on. It worried me at first, but now I'm just envisioning my uterus making room for growing baby:)

KatieEl

Is anyone else waiting until the A/S (20 weeks-ish) for your first ultrasound?

libbberty

@Shanski70 I unfortunately don't have advice for you...but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. It is so hard when we are in situations where we feel we have really limited choices, and they have big time implications! I can't believe you would have to use your vacation time to teach literally at the place of your employment. I understand it is technically paid time off, but it must benefit them in some way if it is being held there. I might try to negotiate not using PTO regardless of accepting payment from the national organization (and regardless of a pregnancy) - but maybe I am misunderstanding how accepting payment from a third party would affect them..? Another option is that you could request unpaid time off instead of PTO. Since you are technically being paid by the organization, couldn't you get that payment instead of your normal salary, and then just negotiate unpaid time off from your company so they have the benefit of not paying you? Brainstorming. Good luck!

libbberty

@EmilyBurkhart I'm also experiencing cramping (more than my first pregnancy). I am not sure I would even call it mild, but maybe I have a low pain tolerance. Mine is sometimes similar to "the worst of it" during my period, and it mostly happens when I'm trying to sleep.

[Deleted User]

@KatieEl does your office do a dating u/s? My clinic just does a dating u/s around 12 weeks and the a/s at 20. Are you able to ask for one any sooner? 

Shanski70

@libbberty asking for unpaid time off while I teach (and am paid by the national organization) is a good idea!  Probably much more likely to happen given how things work around here.  I work for the government (county level) so being there are a few more strings about working/being paid by an outside source/taking time off that exist for me than if I worked in the private sector.  But I think I might be able to actually swing the teaching and taking unpaid time as that (I don't believe) constitutes any conflicts of interest.  

It certainly can't hurt to ask!!

tdevlindrye

I'm having bad dreams every single night. I wouldn't say they're nightmares, but I dreamt that I locked my dog (which I don't have in real life) in the car and couldn't find my car for over a day. Another night I dreamt that a friend ripped the strap on one my my favorite purses. And then I dreamt that I stayed with a friend in San Fran and he blew weed smoke in my face (neither my friend or I have any connection to weed at all). And then another night I dreamt that a co-worked was screaming at me for a really dumb reason. Just really weird stuff. 

In other news, I'm getting dizzy/lightheaded if I don't constantly eat, I have light but sharp pains in my uterus, I feel fat/bloated and LAZY. Not really exhausted or tired, but just like I want to sit and zone out all day.

@Shanski70 I'd consider telling the boss you were pregnant. I know you said you didn't want to, but it would make the most sense to him if that's what you said. I'd tell him in confidence and make it clear that you don't want anyone else to know, but wanted him to really understand what was going on. Something vague like "something important came up" or whatever will just make him curious as to what's really happening. Anyway, you know your boss and situation way better than I do so maybe this isn't the best advice, but I tend to lean towards being open and frank with people. 

@KatieEl I think I would explode if I waited that long. My first US is scheduled for June 2nd and I'm already researching places that will take me earlier. 

Cauleyflower

@madcouplewithabox I'm a FTM and felt that way yesterday.

darkrose88

@KatieEl I was planning on doing both the dating u/s and the 20 week u/s. Is there any particular reason you are just doing the 20 week u/s? 

KatieEl

@schaze they do offer one, but btw BBT and advanced OPK I'm confident in my dating and I'm thinking of opting out.  I had to have a random ultrasound a few months ago (non pregnancy related) and with our high deductible insurance it was $700 out of pocket. I'm just not sure it's worth it.

Eags

missblaze said:

EmilyBurkhart said:

Anyone experiencing mild cramping?

Yes, every day. Intermittent, but throughout the day.

Yep, still off and on here (currently mild cramps right now)

MrsDorkCharming

@EmilyBurkhart My cramping has subsided a little in the past few days, but yes I had some cramping. I'd almost equate them to very very early pms cramps. Not enough to take medicine, but enough that you're aware of that region of your body.

Eags

@KatieEl  we are definitely not waiting until the anatomy scan. I think I'd go mad. We have the first scan at 7w6d and then I'll pay oop for an elective one around 15-16w to hopefully get a peek early. 

darkrose88

@KatieEl And of course, you answered my question immediately after I posted it. I'm pretty confident on dating too, but I don't think I could wait until 20 weeks for several reasons. **TW** One is I've had a mc in the past and need to see a heart beat before I can feel confident in sharing my news. The other is I've read posts on the bump where the baby stopped growing a few weeks into the pregnancy, but the mother had not had a MC or any signs of a MC. Also, a friend IRL told me she knew a girl whose baby died in the womb, chose not to do a D&C and mc naturally, and several months later still hadn't mc.**End TW** Anyway, those are my reasons, however, I totally understand monetary reasons playing a factor. I've been concerned about health expenses as well, especially as my health care plan is very vague about how much everything will cost. So I may very well change my mind about needing two u/s by the end of this pregnancy.  

KatieEl

@darkrose88 those reasons totally make sense, and I had many ultrasounds with both DS1 and DS2, I think this being my third plays into my more relaxed attitude too. I have until next week to decide. ETA I think I must have been answering your question at the exact same time you posted it and missed it! Sorry I didn't tag you!

cyanope

@KatieEl...$700?!? Is that normal? I'm seriously shocked you would have to pay for a pregnancy-related ultrasound. Dating ultrasounds are pretty standard, and I would think it would be included in your pre-natal care. I don't know, maybe I'm just spoiled with my insurance, but that just seems wrong to me!

zamoraspin

General question to gauge experiences -- did you do beta testing to confirm? If so, what were your circumstances -- ie, was there a particular reason/history that prompted it -- if you feel comfortable sharing? Trying to decide if I'm crazy for wanting to do it (3 weeks, 6 days, BFPs with Wondfo and digi yesterday at 11 dpo, testing this am Wondfo line still about the same darkness) especially since I have no idea what is/isn't covered by my insurance at the moment. 

mrsdaddario

zamora_spin said:

General question to gauge experiences -- did you do beta testing to confirm? If so, what were your circumstances -- ie, was there a particular reason/history that prompted it -- if you feel comfortable sharing? Trying to decide if I'm crazy for wanting to do it (3 weeks, 6 days, BFPs with Wondfo and digi yesterday at 11 dpo, testing this am Wondfo line still about the same darkness) especially since I have no idea what is/isn't covered by my insurance at the moment. 

I worked with an RE for a year before we got our BFP. Oddly enough, it was during a treatment break (6 month break) that we got KU naturally. So technically I was still a patient with my RE, but I probably could have safely just called an OB at that point. Anyway I called my RE for betas becaus I was paranoid and knew they would see me. Let me tell you, having two betas that confirmed a healthy doubling was a life changer. Really helped the anxiety. I'd say if you can, and it will give you peace of mind, go in for blood work. 

gilsam1

@Shanski70 I would tell my boss I had just learned I was pregnant and that it might affect some commitments in the future depending on your health at the time of the event.  I would ask if any agreements and contracts could be postponed for a time,  and then that would give you time to see how you feel and to get a better idea of your PTO situation without feeling so pressured. Good luck!

@caeilievalor I've been having weird dreams too! Like family members becoming homicidal maniacs! Sometimes I wake up and I'm like WTF is going on! Haha I should have written some of them down so I could remember, they were hilarious. 

zamoraspin

@mrsdaddario That is excellent advice - I think it would make me feel much better (or, at least tell me what to expect). I have a very "this is too good to be true" feeling right now that is not based on anything but statistics and yet I cannot stop thinking about it. Also, congrats on your BFP! That's an awesome story.

hunt_adventure_society

Any having lower back pain? Like the kind you get during PMS but a lot stronger? I'm finding it hard to sleep/sit/stand (it's even in my butt and thighs) and nothing but Tylenol alleviates it. Called my doc, waiting for her to get back to me. Wondering if it's the progesterone supplements I'm on, but still curious if anyone else is having this! 

acunamatada

@huntadventuresociety-2 I've had low back pain here and there since I found out but nothing as painful as what you're describing. Could it maybe be sciatic pain? That was my first thought when you said it's in your butt/thighs. I had that during my last pregnancy a little further along and it was the absolute worst. Stretching definitely helps though. 

[Deleted User]

@KatieEl wow that's a lot of $$. Ours thankfully is covered by insurance, otherwise I could see skipping out on it.

@huntadventuresociety-2 I'm having some pretty bad back pain, although not quite as bad as you seem to be experiencing it. There are some great yoga poses I did with DD- I can't remember them now, but they helped a lot, especially in 3rd tri.