I feel like I often have the first UO post, which is probably obnoxious. I apologize, but it's my favorite thread, and I want to get it going ASAP
My UO: I side-eye people who let their husbands make the decision regarding circumcision just because the husband has a penis. I may not have a penis, but my opinion regarding something so important to my child is second to none. It's a joint parenting decision. Also, where part of their reasoning for/against circumcising is to make the son look like his daddy. That's just creepy.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
That's a good one, @kayemjay2. I agree that it's a joint parenting decision, but I did defer to my husband on it because I didn't have a strong opinion either way. DH is uncircumcised; he chose to have DS circumcised because he didn't like feeling different from his peers growing up. He's also adopted from another country, so the feeling different was related to way more than just circumcision. Unfortunately, DS was too small at birth to have the procedure so now we have to wait until he's older
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I feel like I often have the first UO post, which is probably obnoxious. I apologize, but it's my favorite thread, and I want to get it going ASAP
My UO: I side-eye people who let their husbands make the decision regarding circumcision just because the husband has a penis. I may not have a penis, but my opinion regarding something so important to my child is second to none. It's a joint parenting decision. Also, where part of their reasoning for/against circumcising is to make the son look like his daddy. That's just creepy.
I feel like I deferred to his opinion, rather than not care and just leave it up to him. I've only ever seen, or dated, men that were cut, so I didn't have any personal knowledge about any extra care or otherwise that an uncircumcised man has had to deal with. I do think DH is better informed regarding this, so while we did discuss it together, I still left the finality of the decision with him. If I had a strong enough preference one way or the other, then the conversation would have gone differently.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
That's a good one, @kayemjay2. I agree that it's a joint parenting decision, but I did defer to my husband on it because I didn't have a strong opinion either way. DH is uncircumcised; he chose to have DS circumcised because he didn't like feeling different from his peers growing up. He's also adopted from another country, so the feeling different was related to way more than just circumcision. Unfortunately, DS was too small at birth to have the procedure so now we have to wait until he's older
If there is a chance you might change your mind, know that a lot of kids are NOT getting circumcised now, so the "look different" thing might not be much of a factor.
I'm glad I didn't have this baby early and I'd be totally cool with going a few days overdue (but lets be real I will get impatient 4 days past due).
I know this is an UO because, well, pregnancy sucks and we all want babies but also because everyone in my life wants this baby to come faster than I do! Well DH is with me on this but everyone else is so eager!
@kayemjay2 Agreed. I hate the deferring a decision just because of anatomy or gender. Totally joint parental decision.
@kat81 Considering this is your third (?) I can understand how you'd want to wait until life is ready (just a few more days, right?) but I'm in the opposite camp of this-baby-can't-come-soon-enough!
I can see deferring to your DH's opinion if you don't feel strongly one way or the other. I guess I have strong opinions about a lot of things (as does DH...we are both attorneys), so I didn't think of that We both researched, and I took his experiences and feelings about it into account, but in the end, we reached an agreement.
@kat81 - That's a good point. It also really depends on where you are located. I think people in this baby-making generation are re-thinking the pros and cons of circumcision, while circumcision was formerly the "default" (circumcision) in the US, so the numbers of intact vs. circ'ed children are definitely changing.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
Well, my husband actually deferred to me on the circumcision because I had a strong opinion and he did not. (In case anyone's curious, I'm super squeamish about a lot of things, and chose not to have it done because the idea of having it done to my son really wigged me out. I know, not the best way to make the decision, maybe.)
I also agree it's a join decision and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. Luckily DH and I are both fully on the circumcised front. We are both into scientific facts and for us it will always be cut.
My UO is that I don't mind writing thank you notes. It's not my favorite but honestly I don't mind. I like finding cute cards, fun stamps and will put effort to do a fun address from the computer. I also send my friends birthday cards and do yearly Christmas cards. I think it's so much fun to get mail that isn't junk or bills. Plus the older I get the more "proper" I feel? Like if you have me to your house I will send a thank you etc.
My UO: I think I should be allowed to work on my maternity leave. I know that's probably crazy, but I've been off work for 2.5 weeks now, and I was in the middle of a certification when DS came early. I'd like to keep working on it because my baby sleeps all day, but I'd be jeopardizing my FMLA status if I were to do work. I can only putz around the house for so long before I lose my mind.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
DH definitely had a stronger opinion about it than I did. So just like with anything else, it was still a joint decision. It just happens that in this case his input, knowledge, and even preference is the side our decision came down on. It wasn't a dynamic where one was overruling the other or refusing to budge.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
I wouldn't say I deferred to DH. But his opinion does carry a certain amount of weight when we make the joint decision. If it was something female anatomy related, my opinion would definitely be one of the bigger factors. Of course DH could research and present any counter arguments, but assuming it's something I have personal experience with, he can't really put himself in a woman's shoes.
My UO: I think I should be allowed to work on my maternity leave. I know that's probably crazy, but I've been off work for 2.5 weeks now, and I was in the middle of a certification when DS came early. I'd like to keep working on it because my baby sleeps all day, but I'd be jeopardizing my FMLA status if I were to do work. I can only putz around the house for so long before I lose my mind.
Yes, this! My last employer was somewhat strict about the leave policy so I had to advise a senior thesis research student under the table. Right now I'm working on the revision of the paper that came out of that research in part, so I'm really glad we persisted! I see why those protections are in place but it does get annoying when the rules are too strict.
Stolen after looking at other BMB UO I judge people who buy dogs from a breeder and don't rescue them. There are too many dogs that need homes to pay people to breed dogs.
I think part of it could be how the current AAP recommendations read.
They say the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks, they just aren't big enough benefits for them to make a recommendation for all boys to be circumcised.
It still is quite pro circ leaning language. I think AAFP has a similar stance?
@Jens_Hoes you will hate me then bc ours are from a breeder. We looked for the specific dogs we wanted and couldn't find them as puppies so we went to a breeder. My H was very afraid of dogs so it was important to get our first as a puppy to train her and know her temperament.
@mdlorenz just that we both did some research on it and found that overall being snipped outweighs not (for us). My research brought me to it mostly in regards to infections, diseases, and cleanliness. My H being in the medical field had his own research and experience brought to the conversation. Also I knew someone who had it done in their twenties and he had wished his parents did it when he was younger as babies heal very fast and don't remember it. I just meant that for us it wasn't a religious thing but more based on what articles we had found.
I think part of it could be how the current AAP recommendations read.
They say the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks, they just aren't big enough benefits for them to make a recommendation for all boys to be circumcised.
It still is quite pro circ leaning language. I think AAFP has a similar stance?
This. At least 3 years ago when we were researching for DS, the language from AAP was very pro-circ, but the true benefits were unclear and seemed pretty minimal. It seemed to come down basically to a matter of personal preference. And it seemed that the preference of the nation was shifting more to a split vs predominantly circumcised. There were also pretty clear regional trends.
We didn't circ DS (DH's decision -- I didn't care but he cared strongly, even though he is circ'd) and so we won't with this one if it's a boy either, but it is definitely still a personal call because the medical information isn't that strongly pro-circ.
@swe2 Thanks for clarifying (wasn't trying to be snarky).
As an aside, I really like the book ""The Circumcision Decision" for parents who are undecided. It's short but does a good job of presenting the facts / thoughts on both sides.
Also, I just have to say that while I will support my patients re: their decision to circumcise or not, it's really tough when I have to do one. I strongly dislike the procedure.
Re: UO 5.11.17
My UO: I side-eye people who let their husbands make the decision regarding circumcision just because the husband has a penis. I may not have a penis, but my opinion regarding something so important to my child is second to none. It's a joint parenting decision. Also, where part of their reasoning for/against circumcising is to make the son look like his daddy. That's just creepy.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
I know this is an UO because, well, pregnancy sucks and we all want babies but also because everyone in my life wants this baby to come faster than I do! Well DH is with me on this but everyone else is so eager!
@kat81 Considering this is your third (?) I can understand how you'd want to wait until life is ready (just a few more days, right?) but I'm in the opposite camp of this-baby-can't-come-soon-enough!
@kat81 - That's a good point. It also really depends on where you are located. I think people in this baby-making generation are re-thinking the pros and cons of circumcision, while circumcision was formerly the "default" (circumcision) in the US, so the numbers of intact vs. circ'ed children are definitely changing.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
(In case anyone's curious, I'm super squeamish about a lot of things, and chose not to have it done because the idea of having it done to my son really wigged me out. I know, not the best way to make the decision, maybe.)
My UO is that I don't mind writing thank you notes. It's not my favorite but honestly I don't mind. I like finding cute cards, fun stamps and will put effort to do a fun address from the computer. I also send my friends birthday cards and do yearly Christmas cards. I think it's so much fun to get mail that isn't junk or bills. Plus the older I get the more "proper" I feel? Like if you have me to your house I will send a thank you etc.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I judge people who buy dogs from a breeder and don't rescue them. There are too many dogs that need homes to pay people to breed dogs.
"We are both into scientific facts and for us it will always be cut."
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They say the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks, they just aren't big enough benefits for them to make a recommendation for all boys to be circumcised.
It still is quite pro circ leaning language. I think AAFP has a similar stance?
May '17 labor memes
@mdlorenz just that we both did some research on it and found that overall being snipped outweighs not (for us). My research brought me to it mostly in regards to infections, diseases, and cleanliness. My H being in the medical field had his own research and experience brought to the conversation. Also I knew someone who had it done in their twenties and he had wished his parents did it when he was younger as babies heal very fast and don't remember it. I just meant that for us it wasn't a religious thing but more based on what articles we had found.
As an aside, I really like the book ""The Circumcision Decision" for parents who are undecided. It's short but does a good job of presenting the facts / thoughts on both sides.
Also, I just have to say that while I will support my patients re: their decision to circumcise or not, it's really tough when I have to do one. I strongly dislike the procedure.
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