FTM Questions for STMs+ 5/9

DuchessOfCambridge

I think this got skipped Saturday, figured I'd start it now!

pawcall

Ha, love the gif

DuchessOfCambridge

Sorry if this is a repeat but - If anyone has done the Bradley childbirth classes, what did you think? I am hoping to do no meds but that's only because I've had a spinal headache before and don't want another. I'm not a crunchy person and I get kind of irritated when people go on about the beauty of labor and breathing and being one with your body and baby. That's kind of what I'm imagining those classes to be, which will make me roll my eyes, but they've come highly recommended.

MississippiCatfish

@DuchessOfCambridge  This isn't what you asked, so feel free to ignore me!  But I'm also not a crunchy person (I went through a crunchy phase after DS1 was born and all the blogs I was following made me think I was poisoning him...but I digress...), and only chose to go unmedicated because my epidurals didn't work with my first labor.  I was able to give birth unmedicated with DS2 and DS3 with the home hypnobabies study.  Both times, I have been comfortable until the transition/pushing stage, and would highly recommend looking at it if you decide against Bradley.  I know it sounds kind of wacky, but it works, and because it's a home study I felt like I could take what helped and leave what didn't, and incorporate my faith too (I know that's important to you.)  Anyway, just wanted to mention:) 

bannaners

I am debating taking some sort of childbirth class this time. Labor with my first went a lot faster than I thought so I am worried I may not even have Time to get an epidural this time. Plus I didn't tear and really didn't feel much pain up till the epidural. I only got the epidural since I wasn't sure how long it was going to last (less than 2 hours after it turns out). I'd have to take the class sooner than usual though since the entire third trimester I will be in school and working so I really need to decide. I'll have to look into the hypnobirthing one

DuchessOfCambridge

Thanks @MississippiCatfish! To be honest, I'm not a big hypnosis person, partially due to faith-related things, but you've made me want to check it out since you were comfortable for so long and felt you could incorporate your faith into it too.

MississippiCatfish

@DuchessOfCambridge  Yeah, I didn't think I would decide on it, but in the end I'm glad I did.  The best description of the "hypnosis" (which for me, is basically nothing more than deep relaxation), is when you're driving in the car but "zoning out" or "in a trance" and suddenly realize you missed your exit. That is a "hypnotic state." Anyway, it might not be for you, based on your faith or other reasons, but you'll find what is right for you! Hopefully some moms with Bradley experience will chime in too!

mariposa_767s

@duchessofcambridge my advice would be to look into a couple of things.  When the time comes, you don't know what will work for you in that moment, so it's good to know a few different techniques.  Labor can be overwhelming.

While it's not an answer to your question, it's related...try not to envision too much exactly what labor is going to be like.  Prepare yourself for a few different scenarios just so you aren't caught off guard when you're nervous, in pain, and faced with split second decisions.  I ended up getting scared into an epidural and had back spasms for three months.  I'm glad I had it since I did have a C-section, but if I go VBAC this time, I may get IV meds instead.

(edited for grammar)

BayCamp

@DuchessOfCambridge not focus related, but my midwives told me if you do lots of squats every day it helps with vaginal birth. You're essentially toning your pelvic floor muscles to assist in pushing and it helps with recovery. I had a 9+ lb baby, my pushing time was short for a FTM, and I still don't pee when I sneeze lol 

ElizabethSchuyler

In regards to birthing methods, if you've done your research on various methods, I would say go ahead and enroll in the class. I think in labor you're going to remember the things you've learned and make your own way through your labor. Having a spouse/doula who supports your vision for birth is helpful. I agree and don't agree with not visioning how you want your birth. My birth vision went completely out the window and it haunted me for awhile after my labor and c-section. Prepare yourself, trust your body, and trust your medical professionals. I don't think there's anything wrong with going in with the mindset of laboring a certain way but being mentally prepared for everything that comes at you. Bridge the gap between knowing what you want and knowing that it all can be out of your control in a matter of minutes. 

am+mommy

@DuchessOfCambridge My labor with DD1 lasted about 13 hours and I had an epidural but before that they also gave me another medication through the IV beforehand that kind of just made me feel silly and wonderful. (This was 11 years ago so I don't know what is available) But you might want to ask about other pain medication you can take through an IV if interested. I did not take any classes for breathing techniques or anything of the such and I was fine the whole time. My labor with DD2 took me by complete surprise and lasted only about 8 hours. I had an epidural but before that I could not relax or breathe through the contractions well and ended up exhausting myself. So my advice would be to have some plan in place because labor is crazy. Search around your area and see what is offered. I again will opt not to take a class however I have been doing yoga for the last year or so and I feel that those breathing techinques and what I've learned will help me deal with this one better than the last.

av2323

I did not take Bradley classes but I did take Lamaze classes.  I thought the visualization and breathing parts were kind of hokey.  I did like the massage techniques and pressure points they taught DH.  They were quite helpful.

lck101

For those who are taking or have taken group exercise classes while pregnant, when did you tell your instructor? I'm still actively taking BodyPump and spinning classes. I'm not showing at all and haven't had to make any modifications yet (as far as I know, I probably only need modifications for BodyPump...I would think you'd just dial back effort in spinning as needed?).

I've confirmed with my doctor that both of these classes are fine to continue. I know it's probably smart to get direction from the instructors in terms of anything I may need to change, but I just hate to draw attention to myself before it's necessary. I won't be out of the first trimester for a couple more weeks.

mariposa_767s

@elizabethschyler yes!  That's exactly what I meant.  Thank you for explaining that better.  I'm a space case today.

rms924

@DuchessOfCambridge omg the spinal headache. I blocked that out. I did not take Bradley but looked into it. I chose not to go that route because I did not want to add anymore on my plate back then. I may do the same this time around but I don't know that I can go the epidural route. I am so scared to experience the spinal headaches again. 

One thing that I explored (but also chose not to do) was getting a doula. I even interviewed a few and what changed my mind was the financial impact more than anything (they are expensive around here!).  But if it's something you can swing, I would def recommend as that may have helped me keep going sans epidural last time. 

I agree with @ElizabethSchuyler. It's great to plan/have a plan but labor and delivery is such an individual experience. I was lurking on another BMB and they were discussing unmedicated vs. medicated and I just kept thinking about my experience last time: there were so many factors that were out of my control. I just did the best I could with what I had and kept in mind that the end goal is delivering safely. 

BayCamp

@lck101 I would say I'd mention it to them second tri, especially body pump. So far my only spin modification has been to just take more frequent/longer breaks but weight lifting will require more adjustments 

DuchessOfCambridge

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the "be flexible" advice especially since I am not a flexible person. I've heard this a lot actually so my "plan" is basically "try not to have an epidural because that spinal headache was the worst but if the pain is bad and I want it, let myself, hope I don't need a c-section or pitocin but understand things happen". Which makes me think something as expensive and time consuming as Bradley may not be worth it for me. I'm not anti-medicine, I'm anti-spinal headaches lol.

kissthesky32

DuchessOfCambridge said:

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the "be flexible" advice especially since I am not a flexible person. I've heard this a lot actually so my "plan" is basically "try not to have an epidural because that spinal headache was the worst but if the pain is bad and I want it, let myself, hope I don't need a c-section or pitocin but understand things happen". Which makes me think something as expensive and time consuming as Bradley may not be worth it for me. I'm not anti-medicine, I'm anti-spinal headaches lol.

I think this is a good way to go in. With both of mine, I planned to go unmedicated, but both times, I spent hours in the hospital walking around and not progressing at all (came in a 6cm for #1 and 7-8cm for #2). I ended up getting an epi both times to take the stress off and both times progressed super fast once I was numb. I am a control freak and think that I just can't relax once I get to the hospital and cede a lot of my control. With #2, I was 10cm, but needed to labor down for a bit and got a IV med to help me sleep. Ive never really done any hard drugs and it was amazing. 

Bailey1823A

@DuchessOfCambridge just so you know i didn't want the epidural for my first because I was terrified of the side effects. The odds of a spinal head ache are actually really low especially if you hold really still. You have a higher risk with a spinal for a spinal headache but if you have a good RN they will keep you mostly flat (if you need to have a c/s) for up to 6 hours to really minimize the chances. (I'm a former l&d RN) having an open mind is always the best because then you are prepared for anything but if you truly put your mind to it you can have an unmediated birth. 

baby3forme

I just want to share my experiences with medicated births because you all seem to want a "natural" birth but we all know in reality that won't happen for most.

I had an epidural with DD1 and didn't even feel it (I was having a contraction when she gave it to me however). It was a breeze and I had no negative after effects. With DD2, I had a spinal and it hurt. It felt like I got 10 bee stings right in a row on my spine/tailbone area. Afterwards, and still 1 1/2 years later, I have a little lump where I got it. It only bothers me when I lay down in the bath or on another hard surface. It's pretty inconvenient. I'd recommend the epidural over spinal if you get a choice! I did not.

ArtificialRed

kissthesky32 said:

DuchessOfCambridge said:

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the "be flexible" advice especially since I am not a flexible person. I've heard this a lot actually so my "plan" is basically "try not to have an epidural because that spinal headache was the worst but if the pain is bad and I want it, let myself, hope I don't need a c-section or pitocin but understand things happen". Which makes me think something as expensive and time consuming as Bradley may not be worth it for me. I'm not anti-medicine, I'm anti-spinal headaches lol.

I think this is a good way to go in. With both of mine, I planned to go unmedicated, but both times, I spent hours in the hospital walking around and not progressing at all (came in a 6cm for #1 and 7-8cm for #2). I ended up getting an epi both times to take the stress off and both times progressed super fast once I was numb. I am a control freak and think that I just can't relax once I get to the hospital and cede a lot of my control. With #2, I was 10cm, but needed to labor down for a bit and got a IV med to help me sleep. Ive never really done any hard drugs and it was amazing. 

I'm also a control freak and the epidural seemed to help me relax enough to get the last little bit dialated too. I was basically at 9.75 for hours. I did hypnobabies and I was in my "hypnosis state" but I think I was mostly sitting there silently stressed. I can't say I had zero side affects from the epi but they were minimal and I'm open to it again if it seems I need help speeding things up again. 

TeacherMama7

@ick101 i told my workout instructor I'm in first tri because we are close, but if you don't feel comfortable with that you could wait for twelve weeks. In the meantime, the rule of thumb she told me was "don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable." Not uncomfortable as in a good work out, but something that makes your uterus or baby area uncomfortable.

MississippiCatfish

I remember a few ladies in previous BMBs who read the Bradley book without taking the classes, but I don't remember specifically how they felt it impacted their births. 

I also have a friend who is currently 39+3 who has had 2 unmediated births. When I asked how she prepared, she said, "I've borrowed this DVD from the library each time!"  Once she has her baby and some time passes, I have to ask her what it is. I'm intrigued!

DuchessOfCambridge

@Bailey1823A I've had an epidural before ten years ago and got a spinal headache even though the risk was very low. I got unlucky. I know there's no increased risk of another if you've already had one but I still remember how completely awful I felt and that would be so difficult to handle with a newborn that I have to feed and take care of. But again, if I want it at the time I'm not ruling it out. 

c+mpeachey

A question for those of you who have had babies in warmer months..... all my babies previously were born in Autumn. This one due end of Spring. 

What do you do for clothes? I'm used to putting babies in layers and swaddling and blankets. 

Putting a new baby in a short sleeved/ short pants set or onesie just seems SO wrong. Can i get away with long sleeved onesie and a muslin wrap when its 20-25 degrees? By the time the high 30s and 40s hit i guess bub will be avle to self regulate body temp a little better and swaddling 24/7 may not be so much of a  issue. I got no idea. 

KMRR86

c+mpeachey said:

A question for those of you who have had babies in warmer months..... all my babies previously were born in Autumn. This one due end of Spring. 

What do you do for clothes? I'm used to putting babies in layers and swaddling and blankets. 

Putting a new baby in a short sleeved/ short pants set or onesie just seems SO wrong. Can i get away with long sleeved onesie and a muslin wrap when its 20-25 degrees? By the time the high 30s and 40s hit i guess bub will be avle to self regulate body temp a little better and swaddling 24/7 may not be so much of a  issue. I got no idea. 

My dd was born in July. I pretty much kept her in long sleeve sleepers and just checked on her more frequently if we were out and about and it was a hot day. 

slaven

@c+mpeachey For a second I forgot that the southern hemisphere was a thing and I was confused. I have no advice though as I have similar thoughts on what kind of layers LO will need. 

ElizabethSchuyler

@c+mpeachey If we took DS out, I'd dress him in separates so I could take a layer off. We brought blankets too. Inside, I kept him in long sleeve onesies with socks. No pants and I used blankets. Once summer rolled around I'd dress him in shorts. 

MississippiCatfish

@c+mpeachey I usually followed the "one more layer than me" rule with my July baby.  If we were in AC, he was in a onesie and sleeper.  But when we were outside, it seemed pretty easy to tell if he needed to just be in a onesie.  Especially if he was in the carseat/stroller for a walk or playing outside at the park with big brother.  They get so sweaty in there!  I always covered it with a muslin blanket for shade/protection.

mariposa_767s

@c+mpeachey DS was born when it was hot out.  I always kept a light jacket in his bag just in case, but I often just kept a blanket on him.  I had a couple of different blankets at different thicknesses so I could swap them out if we were outside where it was hot vs. inside where the AC was on.

pawcall

I am the worst at layering. My son was a January baby and he pretty much always just wore one layer. Either pj's or a onesie/pants. 

I do think I did a onesie under his pj's at night. Maybe?

ElizabethSchuyler

@pawcall I didn't really layer. I was so worried about overheating and not about him being cold. We had blankets if needed. 

alparodi

Inside, I did long sleeve sleepers. Outside, onsies with muslin blankets and carried a light sweater in the diaper bag. I live in NC, so summers are hot and humid, but some people/business crank the air-conditioning really cold in the summer. 

av2323

@pawcall  I was the same.  He may have had a hoodie type thing over his onesie but only if it came as part of the outfit.  My baby got really, really angry when he was hot (still gets that way).

DuchessOfCambridge

This came up in UO and now I'm curious: what do your kids call you? Mom/mommy/mummy/mama/etc?

JDW0325

Generally my son calls me Mama. If he is sick or it's the middle of the night always Mommy. 

ElizabethSchuyler

DS calls me "Mama," "Mom" or "MOM!"

MissMonroe11

DS calls me "Mommy"

zigzag8412

5yo DD currently defaults to "Mommy" with the very rare "Mom" or "Mama."
Here's my question:
***What belly lotions did y'all use/would you recommend and when did you start using it?***
I had a friend give me her bottle of Palmer's Shea Lotion after her baby was born and I tried using it a couple of times but it smells like chocolate to me and it's so strong I can't really handle it cause it makes me nauseous.  After that I just didn't bother and haven't used anything else to this point but as I'm starting to feel like I'm showing it's come back up and I figure sooner than later can't hurt. (Esp cause I'm not a lotions/perfume kinda gal.  DO's about it for me).

MissMonroe11

I used Mother's Special Blend with my first.  Its oil though and not lotion.  I know they say these don't help with stretch marks, but I didn't get any the first time around and you better believe I will be using this again

jess0211

I've just been using coconut oil.