@pawcall What was your fiancé's response to her? I think either he or you need to nip it in the bud before she totally ruins any chance of a relationship with you. @jess0211 I would talk with her, but since she appears to be a control freak, be prepared for her to get mad.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@jess0211 I think it's your shower and you are totally within your rights to dictate some things. If the whole thing is a "surprise" and she doesn't know that you know the venue I wpuld just start raving about the perfect venue that you found and ask if she could please plan it there. Also if it is supposed to be a surprise maybe add in a few other things that you know are important to the other two and express to her that they're important to you. If it's not a surprise I would just be straightforward and let her know that the venue is giving you stress that you don't want during the pregnancy and you're upset that your sister and friend aren't getting more say in it even though you're thankful that she is planning things for you. The worst that can happen is she gets offended and backs out of planning which is fine because you have another friend and your sister who I'm sure would be happy to take over. Also if you're comfortable with it maybe you can involve yourself a bit to prevent these things in the future. My mom and aunt are planning mine with my MIL but I chose my venue and theme and they're just sorting out the little details
@NYTino24@bcashaw thanks ladies! I was really hoping to stay out of it, paticularly since I've always been the planner and shower throwing friend for everyone else. But it's not a surprise shower and I did assume she'd at least check with me on venue. I think next weekend I'll ask her to lunch and talk to her. She's super sensitive so I have to do it delicately or there will be tears and days of text messsges asking if I'm really upset with her.
@jess0211 +1 to talking to her about it. A different friend is stepping in and throwing my local shower and she suggested renting some random community space in her building. I just told her I like showers to be in a home instead of somewhere rented out (and I don't want anyone to spend the money) and I wouldn't even mind just having it at my place (considered tacky but would be so convenient! lol). She understood though and offered her place instead because she doesn't want me to have to stress about cleaning mine before and after. Hopefully your friend will realize you appreciate what she's doing but that this is about you and not her...and hopefully she'll start including your sister and friend!
I just learned my cousin is going through her third loss in a year. We were supposed to be due 2 weeks apart and she just told family last week. I am heartbroken for her and don't know how to support her. Even though I went through one myself, it's different for every person. Also, after multiple, I am sure the pain and grief is so difficult to deal with. I am so bad at knowing how to support people through tough situations, but I did offer to talk if she ever needed it. I cannot pretend to know what she is going through and I am not great at this, but I am hoping just offering to be there was the appropriate thing to do.
**TW***
ETA: I am sorry if this isn't the right thread, but didn't know which was right for it. Just processing it a bit myself and working through the anxiety that comes with PGAL and not having been at the doc's office in over 5 weeks.
*TW* @dragonfly87 I am so sorry your cousin is going through such a difficult time. I think offering to be there for her is great, though please don't get offended if she chooses not to confide in you right just now. I know when I had my losses I did not want to chat with friends that were pregnant because it hurt to see them have what I wanted most. On another thread someone mentioned sending a care basket with soups and a blanket and some nice things for a woman having a loss. I thought it was a really nice idea. Sending hugs to you and her!
@dragonfly87 I'm so sorry your cousin is going through that. I second what @cmessamore said. Finding little ways to show you care count for a lot (maybe drop off dinner or send a gift card for take out?). It's definitely possible your pregnancy will be difficult for her to deal with, and I think the best thing you can do for her is to be understanding of that. *TW* there's a girl in my book club who had her baby 2 weeks before I should have had my first. It's been over a year since that loss, and I still struggle with sadness whenever I see her baby or she talks about her son. I've never held her son yet. It's just too hard. That stuff can linger. And just being understanding of it will be a great thing you can do for her. * End TW *
@DuchessofCambridge We told immediate family the night I found out at 3+3 and FB/public knowledge at 10 weeks. Do I think bad of anyone who thinks they should wait to announce or even announce at all? No because girl, you do you. Maybe it's because I'm from NH and the motto is "live free or die" lol. Regarding the uterus, at 13 weeks LO was an inch below my belly button to the left a bit and there is a bump now. Like kids I teach ask me if there is "a baby in my belly", it's that obvious.
@alparodi The fact that people can go from "you're wasting your degree" to "I'd never use a daycare" astonishes me.
@jess0211 I'd put my foot down. I made sure my MIL planned my shower because I couldn't trust my mom to. Sad but true. I snapped at my mom when she didn't want to invite my dad's gf since they're somewhat recently divorced. I explained that if she wants me to give her new bf a chance then so does dad's gf. Any who, family/friends can suck but they can suck it.
I just had 5 fillings in 3 teeth without any numbing medicine b/c my dentist said it was bad while pregnant. When I made the appointment the receptionist said I could have the numbing so I didn't take tylenol before and now it hurts. And the hygienist/assistant kept making me gag with the spit sucker.
I have been either too sick or driving this week to post much! I am taking negotiations training this week. Hopefully it will work with business situations but also with my 3.5 year old
Anyone try the ring-hair trick to try to guess sex yet?? I did it and it said girl girl boy. I already have 2 girls but I think this one is a girl as well. I guess we shall see if it's right.
DH drank a bit last night at our gender reveal and he was just super happy and talkative (he's fairly quiet normally and not a big drinker) he spent 20 minutes in bed talking to my belly and just generally being ridiculously sweet. He just came downstairs, asked for a Tylenol, and said "don't you even talk about it"
I am amazed at the number of people who think it is totally okay to ask if we had been trying. To me it is asking "did you have scheduled sex". So awkward and rude!
@MississippiCatfish that's so weird. My MIL did the same thing and almost all of our friends have asked. Only one (who I'm very close to) asked if it was ok and that I didn't have to answer it. Everyone else was just blunt. I assumed everyone knew that was in poor taste, even before I got pregnant I never would have asked someone if they'd been trying because it's rude! People are nuts.
To echo the "people are nuts sentiment" (thank you @DuchessOfCambridge): last June MIL came for her long visit from hell. She made a similar comment 3 or 4 times: that my son had a lot of clothes/toys and would I consider giving these to her daughter (my SIL). I was like huh? 1. SIL was not pregnant at the time 2. I am saving these for my next kid! She told me she figured we weren't having anymore. Guys, I only have one. Not that there's any excuse for making that kind of statement but it was like she was giving me some kind of message of "don't have anymore". @MississippiCatfish
Guys! We are half-way into our drive back to our hometown! Telling my family tonight (except my Dad, I'll tell him Saturday) and DHs family tomorrow. All of a sudden I am super nervous!
I am painting my nails (yes, at work, no one is here and those that did show are hungover after last night's hockey game) and I paint my right hand better than my left hand even though I am right handed. Go figure.
It has been a crazy week around here. Lots of end of the year stuff for school and me having horrible morning sickness. E and A turn 2 on Sunday so we having mother's day and then a small party for them. I am just ready to be out of this bad morning sickness stage.
Lauren + Scott B/G Twins Elijah(Eli) and Abigail(Abby)-05/14/2015 Baby #3 due November 26th 2017
@baby3forme I did the hair ring test and it screamed girl every time. I did the ring over the belly test and it said boy the first time but I was not pleased so I tried again and it was not clear. I feel like I'm having a girl @DuchessOfCambridge no clue what a post it is. And just in general , pregnancy definitely brings out the worst in people if one more strange person touches my belly im gonna lose it. YOU ARE A STRANGER. That is all.
@DuchessOfCambridge It's just a pretend post it note with a list of all the users on TB that have offended you, basically. I doubt you are on anyone's.
I woke up at 0530 for work, get to the school, and they tell me they don't need me to sub until the afternoon. Thankfully I have a 2 minute walk there and I got some coffee (we're out of creamer at home).
@slaven regarding your fillings...ouch! I'm getting a filling next week and my doc said it was fine to get the localized anesthetic as long as I didn't get novacaine. Sorry you had to go through that!
@rachelb51212 I was under the impression that I could have some kind of numbing but I'm also in Korea but don't speak Korean so communication can be iffy and they have different practices here as far as what's available. In the end it's okay, I'm just taking tylenol every 8 hours for a few days.
eta: the dentist gave me the option of not doing the big cavity but said that waiting till after I have the baby could mean more problems than just needing a filling.
My mom tries to figure out the day people concieved which is why she wants to know how far along people are. Its the worst! And she's creepy and I hate it. I told her on the weekend that I was pregnant because I was visiting and I had to. Shes retired and needs more to occupy her thoughts. She's always gossiping about which of my cousins is or might be pregnant...yep creepy!
@slaven Ouch! What a crappy couple of events. @dragonfly87 Maybe ask about bringing / sending food to them? *TW* my friend's second loss was due to a selective abortion in second tri due to chromosomal abnormalities with the baby and they took it really hard. They said it was a lifesaver not to have to cook or grocery shop. */TW*
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@ShePersisted someone in my last bump group went through the same thing. She said that her mom insisted on coming again but it was Actuallu much more helpful the second time because she could just play with the toddler and keep her entertained. Just something to think about.
I don't know if this thread is too buried for people to see this, but I found this free pregnancy gift box for people in the NE. https://www.noobiebox.com/
Re: Weekly Randoms 5/8
@jess0211 I would talk with her, but since she appears to be a control freak, be prepared for her to get mad.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
The worst that can happen is she gets offended and backs out of planning which is fine because you have another friend and your sister who I'm sure would be happy to take over.
Also if you're comfortable with it maybe you can involve yourself a bit to prevent these things in the future. My mom and aunt are planning mine with my MIL but I chose my venue and theme and they're just sorting out the little details
I just learned my cousin is going through her third loss in a year. We were supposed to be due 2 weeks apart and she just told family last week. I am heartbroken for her and don't know how to support her. Even though I went through one myself, it's different for every person. Also, after multiple, I am sure the pain and grief is so difficult to deal with. I am so bad at knowing how to support people through tough situations, but I did offer to talk if she ever needed it. I cannot pretend to know what she is going through and I am not great at this, but I am hoping just offering to be there was the appropriate thing to do.
**TW***
ETA: I am sorry if this isn't the right thread, but didn't know which was right for it. Just processing it a bit myself and working through the anxiety that comes with PGAL and not having been at the doc's office in over 5 weeks.
@dragonfly87 I am so sorry your cousin is going through such a difficult time. I think offering to be there for her is great, though please don't get offended if she chooses not to confide in you right just now. I know when I had my losses I did not want to chat with friends that were pregnant because it hurt to see them have what I wanted most. On another thread someone mentioned sending a care basket with soups and a blanket and some nice things for a woman having a loss. I thought it was a really nice idea. Sending hugs to you and her!
@DuchessofCambridge We told immediate family the night I found out at 3+3 and FB/public knowledge at 10 weeks. Do I think bad of anyone who thinks they should wait to announce or even announce at all? No because girl, you do you. Maybe it's because I'm from NH and the motto is "live free or die" lol. Regarding the uterus, at 13 weeks LO was an inch below my belly button to the left a bit and there is a bump now. Like kids I teach ask me if there is "a baby in my belly", it's that obvious.
@alparodi The fact that people can go from "you're wasting your degree" to "I'd never use a daycare" astonishes me.
@jess0211 I'd put my foot down. I made sure my MIL planned my shower because I couldn't trust my mom to. Sad but true. I snapped at my mom when she didn't want to invite my dad's gf since they're somewhat recently divorced. I explained that if she wants me to give her new bf a chance then so does dad's gf. Any who, family/friends can suck but they can suck it.
I just had 5 fillings in 3 teeth without any numbing medicine b/c my dentist said it was bad while pregnant. When I made the appointment the receptionist said I could have the numbing so I didn't take tylenol before and now it hurts. And the hygienist/assistant kept making me gag with the spit sucker.
TTC since August 2018
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
B/G Twins Elijah(Eli) and Abigail(Abby)-05/14/2015
Baby #3 due November 26th 2017
@DuchessOfCambridge no clue what a post it is.
And just in general , pregnancy definitely brings out the worst in people if one more strange person touches my belly im gonna lose it. YOU ARE A STRANGER. That is all.
TTC since August 2018
eta: the dentist gave me the option of not doing the big cavity but said that waiting till after I have the baby could mean more problems than just needing a filling.
TTC since August 2018
@dragonfly87 Maybe ask about bringing / sending food to them? *TW* my friend's second loss was due to a selective abortion in second tri due to chromosomal abnormalities with the baby and they took it really hard. They said it was a lifesaver not to have to cook or grocery shop. */TW*
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility