i am no baby wearer expert but some of my friends are. I personally out of the two i have (ergo and moby) like the ergo better especially for the heat factor. i believe it is the Tula that makes a mesh version that is essentially like the ergo. i dunno but biddies go cray cray for tulas. so i would start your search there.
@bluejeanbabi05 I had a solly baby wrap with DD, and loved it. She was a summer baby. They are very thin and light weight, which helped a lot with the heat factor. Still got hot at times, but wasn't too bad.
October 2017 June Siggy Challenge -- "You Had One Job!"
@beezeemarie loved my solly baby when DD was an infant. Idk how I would have gotten through some days without it. I might get a ring sling or something with this LO. I just like wraps over a SSC.
I always love the idea of babywearing but just never pull it off well. My boobs are leaky and it just seems to make it worse. And when the baby sleeps, I feel like that's my chance to have my body back a little bit but if they're sleeping on you....that doesn't happen. It doesn't help that I'm plus sized; things are less comfortable
1. Hoping to get some freezer meals ready this time (or teach DH to cook). I'm the only one who cooks in my house and that wound up leading to some very horrible eating after DD2 was born. I'll probably be in the middle of a semester and losing my mind as it is, I don't want to worry about cooking
2. Drink ALL THE WATER. I was always dehydrated with swollen ankles with my last 2 in the end and it wasn't good. And caused my contractions to be worse. Maybe if I can stay hydrated that won't happen.
3. Not push myself as hard with breastfeeding...I put a lot on myself to be successful the last two times and it ended with horrible PPD/PPA related to breastfeeding. Both my girls are healthy and happy, I don't think having formula was the worst thing to ever happen to them.
4. Try to keep things as normal as possible for the older girls, taking them to preschool and activities like usual. Nothing abnormal but just try not to be quite as much of a hermit as I was before.
Going off another persons comment...probably will give in to the pacifier earlier. It was drilled into me to wait for at least 4 weeks to avoid nipple confusion. I waited until like 3.5 weeks (and still felt like a failure). Then I saw how much it freakin calmed her down I wish I had just given it to her sooner to save some sanity. So as long as this one is eating ok they're getting the pacifier.
If this one is a boy and I have to buy new clothes, they are getting used/consignment store clothes aside from what others give us I'm sure. Babies don't need brand new things.
Try to pump earlier. I didn't start pumping until DD was several months old (3 or 4?). I felt like at that point my body was just like, "wtf is this?" And I was never successful at pumping. I would get so frustrated. So, DD was stuck on my boob for the first year of her life and I could could never leave her for more than a few hours since I never had a stash. It was lame.
I haven't had time this morning to read through this entire thread, so I may be duplicating a bunch of answers, but here is what I will plan to do different
-I hope to naturally go into labor this time instead of being induced (although I can't 100% control this)
-I want to labor as long as possible this time before the epidural. I had planned on this last time but I also didn't stand my ground when they came in so early to administer it.
-I plan to get more help from lactation consultants. We didn't have one at the hospital I delivered at last time and the closest one was an hour away. I was hard headed and thought the calls and research were enough. Boy was I wrong. So this time I will make the trek with a newborn regardless.
-I want to start my breastfeeding journey with the knowledge and intent that baby will receive most milk through a bottle when I go to work. So I'm not going to worry about bottle confusion and try to get on a good pumping schedule early on. I waited until I went back to work last time and my body did not respond to the cold pump so I lost my supply. I think if I am more proactive towards this instead of getting the latch perfect, I hope I can provide BM longer.
-Not stress if plans don't go the way I intended. Just go with the flow, baby will survive.
-I plan to purchase an Angel Monitor this time. I know it will help my anxious mind those first few months and help me get some sleep.
-Ask for help with my anxiety sooner if/when it becomes an issue.
@jesssssrg vasectomy. DH is the one that's done done. I would consider another if he was on board. So I told him since he was the one adamently done that he would be the one getting fixed.
--------
I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
@jesssssrg since I'm having a csection I am just getting my tubes tied. It makes the most sense to get it done while they are in there anyway. It's a hard decision because our religion doesn't support permanent birth control, but we feel this is what will work best for us.
@jesssssrg I'll be getting an IUD. I had one in after DD was born until we decided to start trying for #2 last summer. It was great! This LO is likely our last but neither of us is ready to do anything permanent quite yet.
@jesssssrg I will for sure be getting my tubes tied, or DH will get a vasectomy, or both. I haven't done any research yet into getting my tubes tied, and was planning to have DH get a vasectomy, but since I'll almost definitely have to have a CS it seems like it would make sense for me to just get my tubes tied while they're in there.
But I also feel like DH should have to do something for the team after I grew 4 babies for him and two were cut out of my body.
I really don't know what I want to do. I'm like 99.999999% done. But another part of me is like well I'm 31. Anything could happen in the next 10 years I change my mind. So I don't know if I should tie my tubes. Plan right now is to wait a year or so then H get V. But I feel like that signs me up for an oops given my luck. We have always done NFP I haven't been on BC in like 8 years.
Our second was unplanned and since our planned third has turned out to be 3 and 4 I am deeeefinitely done. Momma's unpredictable shop is CLOSING fo sho.
One thing I want to do postpartum is work on getting my core and pelvic floor back in shape sooner. I have diastasis recti from my 1st 2 pregnancies (btw for any moms reading this, diastasis recti is NOT as terrible as it sounds). But there are specific exercises to do/not do to heal it and I want to start doing them sooner.
I plan to let daddy be much more involved in the day-to-day stuff instead of being so paranoid. My husband is very hands-on but I was always so panicky in the beginning and I think it really just deterred him from building confidence as a new dad.
This time around, I will actually buy all the home birth supplies. We bought the minimum qty on the list my midwife gave me last time, and I regretted it big time. We had planned to go to a birthing inn, but things happened so fast with DD, that I ended up giving birth accidentally at home. By the time the midwife showed up to check on me, it was too late, I would have given birth in the car... So this time, I'm going to plan for a fast labor, and not laugh about how much time I'll have.
I will also take a longer maternity leave this time. I was not ready to go back to work last time. I took 10 weeks, but came back at 9 because another co-worker went into labor early. I was soooo not ready. I sobbed every day for a month. I am sure I'll cry going back this time too, but it might be easier if I didn't feel like I was ending before the maximum allotted time.
This time around, I will not settle for the "it's just colic" crap the doctors gave us. DD was born with an extremely rare medical condition called Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES), and was undiagnosed until almost 8 months. We had so many red flags, but were never even hinted at food allergies/intolerance. I will be watching very closely for the signs, and insist on a second opinion when my gut says that the doctor is wrong. I didn't do that last time, and wish I did.
This time around, I will absolutely schedule pregnancy massages. I had one during my first pregnancy, almost toward the end. It made a huge difference in my mood, helped me sleep better, eased back pain, etc. I'm going to be selfish and insist on it after 20 weeks, that I get at least one a month. I don't care if he has to drive uber to make it happen, my body is not any younger this time around, and I have a ton more on my plate with a preschooler. (Not to mention, I work full time too!)
I totally am on the freezer meal band wagon too. I did spaghetti sauce and burritos last time, which helped a ton, but wish I had done more foods, and a wider variety. I also plan to actually do something to lose the baby weight this time around. I didn't do anything last time, and here I am 4 years later, starting my pregnancy at the weight I was when I gave birth. Uncool. I want my body back this time.
@carries2018 baby wearing didn't go well for me with my April 2013 baby either. We had three different carriers and I was just too hot always being strapped up or wrapped up. DH liked it, so I made him wear her. This time, I will likely do better with the moby (was the most comfy, but also the hottest) since it will be fall.
@azerimama go for the massage! I had It weekly the last 8 weeks or so and I'm certain it was a big part of the reason I wasn't excruciatingly uncomfortable at the end. They were covered by my old insurance. My new one doesn't cover them unfortunately.
TTC x 1.5 years.
Acupuncture, Femera x3 cyles, and HSG. BFP in September 2014, DS born June 2015. TTC x2 months. BFP January 2017.
1) Advocate for myself. Hindsight I wish I kicked out the horrible nurses I had. I was a FTM and my labor was taking a turn. Instead of answering my questions they acted as if I shouldn't be asking anything at all!
2) Bring more comfortable clothes to wear in the hospital. Seeing my pp body was rough. Wearing something nice earlier instead of the gown would've helped had I done it sooner.
1. If I wasn't getting a RSC I would try to labor at home longer. My labor started with my water breaking and I went right to the hospital. Maybe you have to do this, I don't even know I panicked. But I think things may have gone better if I would have chilled at home for awhile.
2. Had more food ready for when I got home. Frozen meals would be awesome but I didn't even think to stock up on groceries haha. Luckily my mom brought over a bunch of meals but I don't live
3. Pumped earlier before I went back to work. I was able to keep up but it always felt like I was cutting it close and when I decided to stop pumping at a year I didn't have any milk at home. I went on to nurse my son until right before his 3rd birthday so obviously this wasn't a huge deal but it would have been more ideal.
4. Made people wait to come visit. I had like 13 people at the hospital who came into our room almost immediately after I got back in from having the c-section. It was so overwhelming and I was so out of it, this time I am only going to have MIL bring DS by several hours after this baby is born and maybe my parents can swing by later that day.
This is probably not the applicable to everyone, but I'm definitely starting my maternity leave earlier this time. I worked right up until DS came and only got 4 days "holiday" because he arrived early. This time I'm stopping Sept 15 so that I can rest and prepare. (Note: I get a full 12 months off hence I can do this).
1. Freezer meals for after family leaves! 2. Have some lactation treats prepared 3. Have plans A-Z for breast feeding pain, issues and etc.. ready to go before baby gets here ( i.e.: make sure pump works/ I know how to use it, stock up on creams for nipples, have nipple shields, warm compresses, and comfy larger than I think I'll need nursing bra 4. Look into breast sleeping!!! 5. Get the IV during labor which means getting to the hospital a bit sooner this time. Why? Because I lost too much blood last time and it was chaos and nurses stabbing my thigh with a shot and stabbing my arm to get the IV in hurt worse than the doc sewing me up! I did not enjoy 3 days of an IV with iron, oxytocin and fluids so we are hoping a bit of preventive care with reduce the risk for hemmorhaging again. I'd also like to shower nd be able to walk around before the last day if possible
@friendlywolf0913 The breast sleeping is lovely. Saved my sanity because DS was such a velcro baby. I always got to sleep when he slept and he would just suckle and pop off once in deep sleep.
I plan to - freezer meals. My work paid for home meal deliveries and it was awesome but over too quickly. - considering getting night nurse a few nights a week in the beginning. DH is probably going to hate the idea but he was such an ass about middle of the night wake ups with DD im getting irrationally angry about the situation just thinking about it. - accepting all the help. My mom already said she is coming out for a few weeks after the birth but anyone who want to hold, rock, snuggle will be gladly appreciate and probably worshipped. - insist on follow thru from the hubby. As a first timer he was all about wanting to help but would get nervous, frustrated and what not and say 'She need some her mother'. THis time I'm just going to leave the house and turn off my phone. He will figure it out. - going out on maternity leave earlier. Last time I was taking 24 hour call at 36 weeks and my last day was 3 days prior to my delivery. Taking off at 36 week this time.
Things i learned from the bump as a Ftm that really helped: - hospital gown, regular prenatal massages, keeping active, having lot spent of options for baby wearing.
Pregnancy: eating healthier food/watching what I eat more. It's so hard for me to lose the baby weight! I never completely took it off. Freezer meals are a great idea so I will do that, too.
Labor: I am not notifying anyone that I'm heading to the hospital. I'm only telling my mother so that she can stay at my house and watch my toddler. Last time both my mom and MIL were in the room watching the monitors and telling me when I was having contractions....like I needed to be notified of it. The doctor kicked them out the room and I was able to deliver the baby in 10 minutes after they left. Then they were texting my husband constantly while we were bonding with the baby.
Post partum: No visitors the first 24 hrs after delivery. I had up to 20 people in my room at one point and it was too crazy.
@vbonitto I was just thinking about that today - telling DH that aside from someone to come get DD, I kind of don't want to tell anyone I'm headed to the hospital. I don't want my phone blowing up, I don't want people showing up at the hospital (although his parents would, which is why I'm tempted to have them come stay with DD so at least I know they'll stay put).
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
We didn't tell anyone with DD1. We also requested no visitors until we were home and settled. I wanted time to bond with DH and the baby alone. So glad I did because I was a hormonal mess. I cried so hard when they were going to take her for her first bath that they brought the stuff in and gave her her bath in the sink in our room. And then I was uncontrollably crying when they put her under the bili-lights. My little glowworm. With DD2 we said anyone can come visit but we were out at exactly 25 hours. (24 hour testing then discharged!) no one had time to visit until we got home. I am going back to no visitors unless it's whoever has our kids for us.
My first was so easy i'm just hoping this time around is just as good (sleeping, nursing, etc), but - NOT A CHANCE, right? haha She loved being worn - another Solly user for the win and tried about 6 structured carriers before being happy with the Ergo Performance (fit my tall/lean frame better) and still wear her on my back at 16 months old. Other than that, trying to nap more when people offer and come over to help and tell me to go to sleep (I never could). I also want to make sure DH and I get a date night plan going to break away.
With my first, I had no idea what to expect so I didn't have any restrictions on visitors. My parents and my ILs all came up to the hospital while I was in labor and it drove me nuts. I went without an epidural, so I was crying and miserable and that's just not something I want other people seeing from me.
So when my 2nd and 3rd were born, I said no one at the hospital until we say ok. My mom was there with #3 because I told her she could be in the room for delivery, but even with an epidural that time, it still made me uncomfortable. So this time will also be no one at the hospital until we say.
I agree with @dogperson11 I did the exact same thing…didn’t wear real
clothes until we left the hospital and felt so much better when I did
I second @jessafishy regarding the nipple shield and the lip
tie. Don’t get me wrong the nipple
shield was a life saver, but I’d like to try exhausting all of my other options
(including getting a lip/tongue tie checked early on) before going to the
shield…I’m pretty sure its why DS self-weaned at 3 months when I went back to
work
I also don’t plan on putting as much pressure on myself when
it comes to EBF. Last time I felt like
formula was the worst possible solution and made myself sick trying to do just
about anything I could to continue. I
think it really hindered my recovery and my bonding experience. While I still feel that breast is better, a
well fed baby and happy mama is best.
Get out of the house more (shouldn’t be a problem with a 2
year old running around
I don't understand people just rocking up to the hospital to watch women in labour without being invited to come. It's such an intimate moment. Have some respect. Geez! Anyone with pushy family or inlaws, stand your ground for what you want! Your labour, you call the shots.
Re: What You Might Do Differently
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
2. Drink ALL THE WATER. I was always dehydrated with swollen ankles with my last 2 in the end and it wasn't good. And caused my contractions to be worse. Maybe if I can stay hydrated that won't happen.
3. Not push myself as hard with breastfeeding...I put a lot on myself to be successful the last two times and it ended with horrible PPD/PPA related to breastfeeding. Both my girls are healthy and happy, I don't think having formula was the worst thing to ever happen to them.
4. Try to keep things as normal as possible for the older girls, taking them to preschool and activities like usual. Nothing abnormal but just try not to be quite as much of a hermit as I was before.
If this one is a boy and I have to buy new clothes, they are getting used/consignment store clothes aside from what others give us I'm sure. Babies don't need brand new things.
Try to pump earlier. I didn't start pumping until DD was several months old (3 or 4?). I felt like at that point my body was just like, "wtf is this?" And I was never successful at pumping. I would get so frustrated. So, DD was stuck on my boob for the first year of
her life and I could could never leave her for more than a few hours since I never had a stash. It was lame.
*O17 June Siggy Challenge - You had 1 job!*
I haven't had time this morning to read through this entire thread, so I may be duplicating a bunch of answers, but here is what I will plan to do different
-I hope to naturally go into labor this time instead of being induced (although I can't 100% control this)
-I want to labor as long as possible this time before the epidural. I had planned on this last time but I also didn't stand my ground when they came in so early to administer it.
-I plan to get more help from lactation consultants. We didn't have one at the hospital I delivered at last time and the closest one was an hour away. I was hard headed and thought the calls and research were enough. Boy was I wrong. So this time I will make the trek with a newborn regardless.
-I want to start my breastfeeding journey with the knowledge and intent that baby will receive most milk through a bottle when I go to work. So I'm not going to worry about bottle confusion and try to get on a good pumping schedule early on. I waited until I went back to work last time and my body did not respond to the cold pump so I lost my supply. I think if I am more proactive towards this instead of getting the latch perfect, I hope I can provide BM longer.
-Not stress if plans don't go the way I intended. Just go with the flow, baby will survive.
-I plan to purchase an Angel Monitor this time. I know it will help my anxious mind those first few months and help me get some sleep.
-Ask for help with my anxiety sooner if/when it becomes an issue.
-Try not to do it all on my own!
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
And im done having kids too but i feel iffy about doing something permanent on myself.
But I also feel like DH should have to do something for the team after I grew 4 babies for him and two were cut out of my body.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
I will also take a longer maternity leave this time. I was not ready to go back to work last time. I took 10 weeks, but came back at 9 because another co-worker went into labor early. I was soooo not ready. I sobbed every day for a month. I am sure I'll cry going back this time too, but it might be easier if I didn't feel like I was ending before the maximum allotted time.
This time around, I will not settle for the "it's just colic" crap the doctors gave us. DD was born with an extremely rare medical condition called Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES), and was undiagnosed until almost 8 months. We had so many red flags, but were never even hinted at food allergies/intolerance. I will be watching very closely for the signs, and insist on a second opinion when my gut says that the doctor is wrong. I didn't do that last time, and wish I did.
This time around, I will absolutely schedule pregnancy massages. I had one during my first pregnancy, almost toward the end. It made a huge difference in my mood, helped me sleep better, eased back pain, etc. I'm going to be selfish and insist on it after 20 weeks, that I get at least one a month. I don't care if he has to drive uber to make it happen, my body is not any younger this time around, and I have a ton more on my plate with a preschooler. (Not to mention, I work full time too!)
I totally am on the freezer meal band wagon too. I did spaghetti sauce and burritos last time, which helped a ton, but wish I had done more foods, and a wider variety. I also plan to actually do something to lose the baby weight this time around. I didn't do anything last time, and here I am 4 years later, starting my pregnancy at the weight I was when I gave birth. Uncool. I want my body back this time.
Cookie if you made it through this novel....
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
BFP in September 2014, DS born June 2015.
TTC x2 months.
BFP January 2017.
2) Bring more comfortable clothes to wear in the hospital. Seeing my pp body was rough. Wearing something nice earlier instead of the gown would've helped had I done it sooner.
3) Have food stocked at home!
2. Had more food ready for when I got home. Frozen meals would be awesome but I didn't even think to stock up on groceries haha. Luckily my mom brought over a bunch of meals but I don't live
3. Pumped earlier before I went back to work. I was able to keep up but it always felt like I was cutting it close and when I decided to stop pumping at a year I didn't have any milk at home. I went on to nurse my son until right before his 3rd birthday so obviously this wasn't a huge deal but it would have been more ideal.
4. Made people wait to come visit. I had like 13 people at the hospital who came into our room almost immediately after I got back in from having the c-section. It was so overwhelming and I was so out of it, this time I am only going to have MIL bring DS by several hours after this baby is born and maybe my parents can swing by later that day.
This is probably not the applicable to everyone, but I'm definitely starting my maternity leave earlier this time. I worked right up until DS came and only got 4 days "holiday" because he arrived early. This time I'm stopping Sept 15 so that I can rest and prepare. (Note: I get a full 12 months off hence I can do this).
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
2. Have some lactation treats prepared
3. Have plans A-Z for breast feeding pain, issues and etc.. ready to go before baby gets here ( i.e.: make sure pump works/ I know how to use it, stock up on creams for nipples, have nipple shields, warm compresses, and comfy larger than I think I'll need nursing bra
4. Look into breast sleeping!!!
5. Get the IV during labor which means getting to the hospital a bit sooner this time. Why? Because I lost too much blood last time and it was chaos and nurses stabbing my thigh with a shot and stabbing my arm to get the IV in hurt worse than the doc sewing me up! I did not enjoy 3 days of an IV with iron, oxytocin and fluids so we are hoping a bit of preventive care with reduce the risk for hemmorhaging again. I'd also like to shower nd be able to walk around before the last day if possible
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
- freezer meals. My work paid for home meal deliveries and it was awesome but over too quickly.
- considering getting night nurse a few nights a week in the beginning. DH is probably going to hate the idea but he was such an ass about middle of the night wake ups with DD im getting irrationally angry about the situation just thinking about it.
- accepting all the help. My mom already said she is coming out for a few weeks after the birth but anyone who want to hold, rock, snuggle will be gladly appreciate and probably worshipped.
- insist on follow thru from the hubby. As a first timer he was all about wanting to help but would get nervous, frustrated and what not and say 'She need some her mother'. THis time I'm just going to leave the house and turn off my phone. He will figure it out.
- going out on maternity leave earlier. Last time I was taking 24 hour call at 36 weeks and my last day was 3 days prior to my delivery. Taking off at 36 week this time.
Things i learned from the bump as a Ftm that really helped:
- hospital gown, regular prenatal massages, keeping active, having lot spent of options for baby wearing.
Pregnancy: eating healthier food/watching what I eat more. It's so hard for me to lose the baby weight! I never completely took it off. Freezer meals are a great idea so I will do that, too.
Labor: I am not notifying anyone that I'm heading to the hospital. I'm only telling my mother so that she can stay at my house and watch my toddler. Last time both my mom and MIL were in the room watching the monitors and telling me when I was having contractions....like I needed to be notified of it. The doctor kicked them out the room and I was able to deliver the baby in 10 minutes after they left. Then they were texting my husband constantly while we were bonding with the baby.
Post partum: No visitors the first 24 hrs after delivery. I had up to 20 people in my room at one point and it was too crazy.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
So when my 2nd and 3rd were born, I said no one at the hospital until we say ok. My mom was there with #3 because I told her she could be in the room for delivery, but even with an epidural that time, it still made me uncomfortable. So this time will also be no one at the hospital until we say.
I agree with @dogperson11 I did the exact same thing…didn’t wear real clothes until we left the hospital and felt so much better when I did
I second @jessafishy regarding the nipple shield and the lip tie. Don’t get me wrong the nipple shield was a life saver, but I’d like to try exhausting all of my other options (including getting a lip/tongue tie checked early on) before going to the shield…I’m pretty sure its why DS self-weaned at 3 months when I went back to work
I also don’t plan on putting as much pressure on myself when it comes to EBF. Last time I felt like formula was the worst possible solution and made myself sick trying to do just about anything I could to continue. I think it really hindered my recovery and my bonding experience. While I still feel that breast is better, a well fed baby and happy mama is best.
Get out of the house more (shouldn’t be a problem with a 2 year old running around
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th