I think husband in the room or not isn't a right vs wrong decision. There's so much in the world that really matters in terms of morality or safety, that it's hard for me to judge or condemn a decision that's just a preference. @DeansGirl14 you do you! No one should make you and your husband feel bad for the childbirth experience that is best for you. You will both love on your baby and that's what's important!
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
^^^I can't say that I necessarily disagree with @DeansGirl14 (although I don't personally understand her or her husband's thoughts on it) it is a personal decision and not my labor to judge.
BUT...@bumpybump and @Nxy those memes made me LOL! So so funny!
Thanks, everyone for the reassurance about how hospitals handle the rooming in policy. I think it's the unknown that stresses me out and I just hope to not be stuck with an unsympathetic nurse one night who gives me a hard time about wanting to rest/recover for a bit. I plan to ask my doctor about the policy since I think she has also delivered there since the new policy went into effect. We'll also be doing a sibling class at the hospital so I can get more details then too.
The only thing DH got a free pass on was things having to do with needles. I didn't mind him needing to walk out of the room during the multiple attempts to start an IV with my induction with DS1 and my mom held my hand for the epidural. He would've done so if he had to, but I knew my mom would handle it better. I'd rather have him present for the rest of it than feeling like he's going to pass out. He doesn't have an issue with anything else related to blood, surgery or labor except needles.
He did have to man up when I went into labor on my own with DS2. My labor progressed pretty quickly and my parents, who live 2 hours away, didn't get there before I got an epidural. He had to hold my hand for that epidural.
I can't imagine either of us wanting him to miss the birth. I ended up needing c-sections and he has seen more of me during those surgeries than I ever will. It certainly hasn't scarred him. He was also the one who told me the sex when our sons were born. Those moments were so special and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Back from the weekend. Just a couple things to respond to so I forget who said what, sorry! Maybe part of the problem is that he (and I) haven't been educated yet. I haven't signed us up for the birth or newborn care classes yet and he's never even babysat in his life; he's completely clueless. I don't think it's selfish of him to be scared. Maybe he'll feel a lot better after the classes and change his mind about being there. And, he's been very supportive the whole pregnancy; he already loves this baby so I'm not at all concerned about that. It's probably also my personality showing through; I've been independent to a fault long before meeting him and he'd be the first to acknowledge I'm more level-headed and better in a crisis, less of a worrier, etc. We'll see how we both feel after some classes.
My best friends husband spent her entire labor roaming the hospital with his friends, getting lunch and then when they had to do an emergency c-section he refused to go in so her mom was the one by her side. I'll never look at him the same after that.
@Leni410 WHOOOOA!!! To me, THAT is a huge red flag about they type of person he is. That's so unacceptable!
My mom and mother-in-law had to nearly force MH to take nap while I was in labor. He was right by my side. My water broke at 12am, after both of us had worked all day, and my son wasn't born until 6:29pm...18 1/2 hours after my water broke. So we had both been awake for basically 34 hours. After I got the epidural I was OUT and so they made him nap, too.
I cant imagine him using that as a time to hang with friends. He would never even consider that!
DH used to joke about not being in the room, but he would never actually stay out. When we found out I was having a c section he didn't hesitate to be with me. The look on his face when I told him he'd have to go to the nursery with the baby while they stitched me up was priceless.
My DH made me double check with the OB at my last appointment that he would be able to be with me during all of LD and especially if I need a c section. He is probably going to need to be told to take a nap, if I nap, and that its okay if he goes out of the room to get food. He is so excited for this whole process.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Yeah DH is not going to be out having lunch with friends or any of that. After our hospital tour yesterday, where we were told that 4 guests including one 24-hour guest could be with me during labor, he specifically said he wants this to be between me and him and no other guests in the room. He'll be there, but he is scared of everything that can go wrong. I do think the birth class will help us both.
Yeah DH is not going to be out having lunch with friends or any of that. After our hospital tour yesterday, where we were told that 4 guests including one 24-hour guest could be with me during labor, he specifically said he wants this to be between me and him and no other guests in the room. He'll be there, but he is scared of everything that can go wrong. I do think the birth class will help us both.
This makes me really happy -- not that it matters. The class should definitely help. Just remind him that while knowing what can happen helps, that being as go with the flow as possible the day of birth makes it all sooo much easier!
@DeansGirl14 I think the class will be super beneficial. He really won't want to miss the birth of his child. MH was nervous, too, and that's perfectly understandable...but the moment they see their babies and they truly become a Daddy? So priceless.
Re: FFFC 4/28
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
BUT...@bumpybump and @Nxy those memes made me LOL! So so funny!
He did have to man up when I went into labor on my own with DS2. My labor progressed pretty quickly and my parents, who live 2 hours away, didn't get there before I got an epidural. He had to hold my hand for that epidural.
I can't imagine either of us wanting him to miss the birth. I ended up needing c-sections and he has seen more of me during those surgeries than I ever will. It certainly hasn't scarred him. He was also the one who told me the sex when our sons were born. Those moments were so special and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Maybe part of the problem is that he (and I) haven't been educated yet. I haven't signed us up for the birth or newborn care classes yet and he's never even babysat in his life; he's completely clueless. I don't think it's selfish of him to be scared. Maybe he'll feel a lot better after the classes and change his mind about being there.
And, he's been very supportive the whole pregnancy; he already loves this baby so I'm not at all concerned about that. It's probably also my personality showing through; I've been independent to a fault long before meeting him and he'd be the first to acknowledge I'm more level-headed and better in a crisis, less of a worrier, etc.
We'll see how we both feel after some classes.
My mom and mother-in-law had to nearly force MH to take nap while I was in labor. He was right by my side. My water broke at 12am, after both of us had worked all day, and my son wasn't born until 6:29pm...18 1/2 hours after my water broke. So we had both been awake for basically 34 hours. After I got the epidural I was OUT and so they made him nap, too.
I cant imagine him using that as a time to hang with friends. He would never even consider that!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020