@cmessamore sand might be my least favorite part of the beach. IT GETS EVERYWHERE I can't stand it. Why are you in all my crevices and in everything I brought with me? Drives me nuts. I also don't like heat and I don't like sunbathing and I don't like reading on the beach. I don't relax well and being on a beach makes me think of all the other things I could/should be doing instead. I do like swimming but most of the summer the water is too cold to go in anyway.
All that being said, I don't mind a day or two at the beach in the summer. A friend of ours owns a house on a private beach and that's probably my favorite way to go. Andplusalso, I think taking a baby to the beach will be really fun and cute.
@DuchessOfCambridge it sounds like you might appreciate my idea of an ideal beach vacation... something on a resort, where the ocean water is clear and warm and there are pools with activities for the days when you just need a break from the sand. I was lucky enough to go to the Atlantis in the Bahamas with a friend in high school and it was amazing.
I'm all for a quiet cabin in the woods/mountains, but if we're doing the beach I want the resort life.
Our beach vacation is always the first week of June. I can't wait!!
Also, my in-laws are the WORST about letting DS play without hovering. They literally follow his every step, and he's fast, so they get worn out pretty quickly. On the one hand, I never have to worry about him getting hurt while they watch him, but on the other hand, leave my kid alone!! Luckily they don't watch him enough for it to make a huge impact on him. I am of the opinion, like you @cmessamore, that kids need to play and learn from their own mistakes. I am very lax with him, and always have been. We don't have to be in the same room together all the time (he plays in his room while I'm in the kitchen). I'm wondering if they'll ever let him play alone...maybe when he's in middle school...
I can't WAIT for my first beach day of the summer. I've been starting to look at new bathing suits bc the sexy monokinis I bought last year already don't fit me.
But whatever I'll find something, just give me ALL THE BEACHES
Me: 32 Husbando: 49 Married Since: 7/29/2012 omgosh
Oooooooh the BEACH! I haven't been to the beach in years and it is painful to think about it. I LOVE the beach, but I live 10 hours from the beach we used to go to and the time off and money just isn't there....
@zigzag8412 I have taught DD to call it her vagina also because she would say her bottom instead and I needed to which was actually hurting. My DH came into her life 2 years ago so I just told him how it was. Also had to explain it to my dad so he would not freak out on her. It's also normal for kids to "explore"their privates. She was just told that it's ok but she has to go to her room as it's not appropriate to do it in front of others. My sister taught her DD to call it some other name and taught her that touching it was wrong, which made for a tough bath as she wouldn't wash it. I think our funniest part was teaching DD that DH did not have a vagina, he had something else.
I don't mind the beach but I prefer the lake. There's less sand lol
My FFFC is that I don't trust people right away. I typically people watch for a while before talking to someone. It makes me seem shy or even like a bitch, but I've been burned by getting close to people too soon in the past. So, I generally keep people at an arms length. At the same time, it takes me a while to get invested in someone because I don't want to start caring a lot about them before I'm ready. I generally care a lot about people as I get to know them.
@DuchessOfCambridge YES. My husband and I have taken two beach vacations, and they were nice, but it's just not my scene. Sand is the worst. Also, babies on the beach can be adorable or a living nightmare. As our little was not yet mobile on our last trip, it fell somewhere in between.
Just take me on a Euro trip or to Egypt to see the pyramids or somewhere that isn't a beach. I think I also just have so many place I want to see that I can't justify spending a whole week at a beach when I could be in, I don't know, Switzerland or something.
We went to Italy for our baby moon last go round. I was super glad to be in the second tri sweet spot of not having to pee all the time, since bathrooms weren't free. But I did end up vomiting off the side of a boat bus in Venice. I can laugh about it now. It was an amazing trip and I'm sad that we won't be able to leave the country again this year.
@cmessamore preach on sister! My husband and I are totally type A and thought we'd be helicopter parents, but we actually turned out to be pretty laid back. Mostly because we realized it's better for our kid to get into scrapes and figure stuff out on his own. To each their own.
My FFFC- this one is my first and related to the above. I stopped letting my son play with my neighbor's daughter because they were utterly ridiculous helicopter parents who would bring her over and proceed to disinfect my floor and my son's toys before letting their daughter play. I don't feel bad about it either. PS. I am not a dirty/messy person, they just didn't want their precious daughter "catching" anything from my son. WTF. Then don't ask for the playdate!
@rms924 That is too much. I would've cut them out of my life as well. Unless they were willing to clean my entire house. Then we might could reach a compromise.
@ooodalollly you just cracked me up! I may agree to that but given that this woman can't even manage to clean her own house, I don't think she has the chops to clean mine
@rms924 that reminds me of another fffc.. I cut out playing with our neighbor's daughter because she was so coddled that she was afraid of everything. She would shriek if she got a little dirt on her and god forbid she harmlessly fell down. It was too much for me and I honestly was afraid to deal with what might happen if DS accidentally knocked her over or got sand on her. Plus she always seems to have some sort of sweets on her. Candy, juice, ice cream... and food is the one thing I am strict about. I felt awful telling DS over and over he couldn't have what she offered.
@ArtificialRed It's kind of amazing how much personality comes into play with kids too... I go to lengths not to coddle my DD, but she has been kind of fastidious almost since birth and she hates getting anything on her, even water. (She literally has been crying lately when she gets a few drops of water on her clothes.) She is a sensitive soul and if other kids are a little rowdy sometimes she gets nervous. I try to teach her that a little dirt or something is okay, and give her lots of opportunities to get used to other kids, but she honestly is just naturally that way. I'm not saying it's like that in your situation--you know the parents, so you know what they're like. But not all behaviors are caused by the parents.
Nov 17 BMB May Siggy Challenge: Mother's Day Fails
@ArtificialRed It's kind of amazing how much personality comes into play with kids too... I go to lengths not to coddle my DD, but she has been kind of fastidious almost since birth and she hates getting anything on her, even water. (She literally has been crying lately when she gets a few drops of water on her clothes.) She is a sensitive soul and if other kids are a little rowdy sometimes she gets nervous. I try to teach her that a little dirt or something is okay, and give her lots of opportunities to get used to other kids, but she honestly is just naturally that way. I'm not saying it's like that in your situation--you know the parents, so you know what they're like. But not all behaviors are caused by the parents.
You're describing me as a child (and as an adult). I used to lose my ish over this stuff and my mom was always like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME haha.
I asked the lady I babysit for if she could find someone else for Monday so DH and I could drive down and see my dad at his vacation condo. I felt bad putting her in a tough spot. Not even a minute later her kid bit DS so hard on the leg that he broke skin through his pants. I no longer feel the slightest guilt and I'm glad she witnessed it so I didn't have to make a big thing out of it.
My FFFC is that I still enforce a daily afternoon nap/quiet time for my 4 yr old, even though he really doesn't need it anymore, just so I can get a nap. I don't even feel bad.
@emucoleman very good point. I don't know this little girl well enough to know if she's like this because she's coddled, or if she's getting these reactions because she naturally has that level of sensitivity. My nephew is very sensitive and it also can create a lot of tension with DS. It's something my sister and I both have to work on with our own kids, to help them understand how to meet each other in the middle. But this little girl would invite herself over to my yard where DS is playing in the dirt and then freak out when she got dirty and/or found any sort of bug. Don't come play in the dirt if you don't like it!
@ariasbabyblog No flames from me! My plan (we'll see how it works out) is to enforce a daily quiet time for as long as *I* want it--maybe even until my kids leave the house if I have to. My DD still takes naps, but I know I will always need at least an hour to myself every day if I can manage it.
Nov 17 BMB May Siggy Challenge: Mother's Day Fails
My FFFC is that I still enforce a daily afternoon nap/quiet time for my 4 yr old, even though he really doesn't need it anymore, just so I can get a nap. I don't even feel bad.
My 6yo has "quiet time" ("stay in your room so mommy doesn't lose her everloving shit" anytime we are home all day. He can nap, play with toys, and sometimes I give him the iPad. Don't care what he's doing as long as he stays in there.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
@ariasbabyblog My 4 year old still does "quiet time". She occasionally naps, by usually just plays quietly in her room until DS is done napping. It gets me 1.5-3 hours of mommy time a day.
My 5 year old still takes naps daily at least 1.5 hours and boy can we tell when she doesn't sleep! I don't know what we are in for when she starts kindergarten
I think quiet time is really important for everyone and it goes hand in hand with mental health. Plus it's good for kids to learn how to be independent and spend some time with themselves. So many things were brought up in this thread and I totally wish I was around for the conversations because I would love to contribute to all of these... Sadly I wasn't and I am so exhausted I can't possibly go through all of them. Next week!
@DuchessofCambridge I love beach vacations mostly because I think vacations are supposed to be relaxing. However I've never actually been on a tropical vacation, mostly Maine beaches and lakes. I absolutely hate city vacations. I don't think running around a crowded city is a vacation...it's a trip. I also like mountain cabins too and quiet B&Bs.
ETA: My FFFC is that I don't like it when kids are scared of little dogs. I understand that some big dogs can be scary when their face is at the same height as a child's and I guess there can always be bad experiences, but I was walking a 5yo to the bus from a class I subbed for when a parent walked by with 2 Maltese(s?) on a leash. This girl freaked out, pressed herself against the side of the bus, and cried. The dogs didn't even look at her and kept on going. And they're like 5lbs. I see so many other kids that are afraid to even walk past my dogs and I don't get it. My Maltese is 3lbs and my Sheltie is fat at 25lbs. It's not like they jump or lunge or anything like that.
@slaven if the dogs are fine, that is kind of silly. Unless she's had a bite in the past or something...sometimes people don't bother to train little dogs the way they would a bigger dog. I don't like when little kids rush up to any dog to pet them, either. I think it's really important to teach kids how to behave around pets.
@slaven that makes sense, I guess I'm just more of a trip came vacation person! Also, if it helps to provide some perspective, I was terrified of dogs growing up. We didn't have any and my mom always made such a big deal about how dirty they were (she doesn't like animals in general really) so since I'd never been around any I was scared of them ALL. I was actually scared of cats too even though I loved them and wanted one until I got older. I'm not afraid of little dogs anymore but some of the big ones still make me nervous especially if they run at me or try to jump on/lick me.
@slaven if the dogs are fine, that is kind of silly. Unless she's had a bite in the past or something...sometimes people don't bother to train little dogs the way they would a bigger dog. I don't like when little kids rush up to any dog to pet them, either. I think it's really important to teach kids how to behave around pets.
YES. Also I will add that working at a vet clinic I've come across way more snappy/testy little dogs than big dogs. But their owners tend think it's funny or cute because they're small.
@slaven if the dogs are fine, that is kind of silly. Unless she's had a bite in the past or something...sometimes people don't bother to train little dogs the way they would a bigger dog. I don't like when little kids rush up to any dog to pet them, either. I think it's really important to teach kids how to behave around pets.
YES. Also I will add that working at a vet clinic I've come across way more snappy/testy little dogs than big dogs. But their owners tend think it's funny or cute because they're small.
@slaven I think we bonded over having Maltese my Maltese has bitten me before so I actually prefer that kids stay away. He did it bc he was freaked out that we were moving (abandonment issues) but still, as an owner I have to be careful. I can't ever put him in a position where he can harm others even though he is honestly a very sweet animal.
That said, I did have the most ridiculous experience a few months ago. Did I mention I hate my neighbors? I was walking out w him and he was playing w ds and this woman spots us down the hall and starts shouting "can you hold him?!" She's starting to run w her key out to get to her apartment. I mean the dog was on a leash. And he weighs like 8lbs and looks like a stuffed animal. It was so bizarre lol. That response is a little much, especially since he was leashed and a good distance away.
That said, I teach my son about the proper way to deal w our pets (we have a cat too) and other animals. I think it's important from a safety perspective.
@slaven The girl could have previously been bit by a small dog. My dad has 3 small dogs and I have to constantly watch them around my son because 2 of the 3 have bitten my son over jealousy issues (they don't like when my dad gives my son more attention than them). As a mail carrier I've also had more problems with the small dogs than the big ones.
@rms924 That's a little much, with him being leashed. And teaching kids how to act around animals is so important.
Not all dog owners are responsible though so many people have had bad experiences in the past.
My MIL has a schnauzer who would try to climb in my lap while I was nursing my first. When I tried to push him off he would snap at me. Yet she would never lock him up or put him outside while we were there. It got to where I wouldn't even sit down with the baby. One time he actually bit me and her response was to pick him up and coddle him, and then shove him into my infant's face.
@slaven I don't want my kids to be afraid of animals, but in reality, all dogs have the potential to be dangerous. Even small dogs could seriously hurt a child. Plus, a 5 year old may be bigger than the dog now, but they don't have that much experience being bigger than dogs--my 2 year old is tall for her age, but our friends' very short Dachscund can really get in her face. Those are the memories small children, who don't have dogs at their own homes, have of dogs. Frankly, I think it makes sense and it's not totally ridiculous. That said, I do try to get my DD comfortable with dogs because I don't want her to grow up with that kind of fear.
Nov 17 BMB May Siggy Challenge: Mother's Day Fails
We spend a lot of time reminding DS about the rules when it comes to dogs. I agree that on principle, any dog can be dangerous and we treat them as such.
And my own dog is still an overexcited puppy in a lot of ways and I try not to let anyone pet her until she calms down and lays down. I hate when people try to pet her when she's still trying to jump. I'm trying so hard to teach her appropriate behavior, don't reward her bad behavior!!!
Part of my work is in animal training, and I agree with others that small dogs often exhibit more behavioral issues than large. I think it's mainly because owners can manage issues with small dogs easier, or they seem less troublesome, but if a large dog bites/pulls on leash/jumps/etc then they seek assistance. In practice, it's good for kids to learn to appreciate any dog from afar until they ask permission- small included! It amazes me how so many kids are zero afraid of our German Shepard dog, while their parents appear terrified. Props to parents though- SO many kids ask my permission to pet which makes me happy!
My 5 year old still takes naps daily at least 1.5 hours and boy can we tell when she doesn't sleep! I don't know what we are in for when she starts kindergarten
Same.
~Ziggy
Me:27 (diagnosed anovulatory May 2016) DH:29 (normal) Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012 TTC#1 since June 2015 June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying" October 2016- We became licensed foster parents November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
Re: FFFC* 04/21
All that being said, I don't mind a day or two at the beach in the summer. A friend of ours owns a house on a private beach and that's probably my favorite way to go. Andplusalso, I think taking a baby to the beach will be really fun and cute.
I still hate sand.
I'm all for a quiet cabin in the woods/mountains, but if we're doing the beach I want the resort life.
Also, my in-laws are the WORST about letting DS play without hovering. They literally follow his every step, and he's fast, so they get worn out pretty quickly. On the one hand, I never have to worry about him getting hurt while they watch him, but on the other hand, leave my kid alone!! Luckily they don't watch him enough for it to make a huge impact on him. I am of the opinion, like you @cmessamore, that kids need to play and learn from their own mistakes. I am very lax with him, and always have been. We don't have to be in the same room together all the time (he plays in his room while I'm in the kitchen). I'm wondering if they'll ever let him play alone...maybe when he's in middle school...
But whatever I'll find something, just give me ALL THE BEACHES
Married Since: 7/29/2012
omgosh
I think our funniest part was teaching DD that DH did not have a vagina, he had something else.
I don't mind the beach but I prefer the lake. There's less sand lol
My FFFC is that I don't trust people right away. I typically people watch for a while before talking to someone. It makes me seem shy or even like a bitch, but I've been burned by getting close to people too soon in the past. So, I generally keep people at an arms length. At the same time, it takes me a while to get invested in someone because I don't want to start caring a lot about them before I'm ready. I generally care a lot about people as I get to know them.
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
TAKE ME TO THE MOUNTAINS
FFFC- we leave our son with babysitters and at school but I'm terrified to leave him overnight with my mom!
My FFFC- this one is my first and related to the above. I stopped letting my son play with my neighbor's daughter because they were utterly ridiculous helicopter parents who would bring her over and proceed to disinfect my floor and my son's toys before letting their daughter play. I don't feel bad about it either. PS. I am not a dirty/messy person, they just didn't want their precious daughter "catching" anything from my son. WTF. Then don't ask for the playdate!
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
Man, these hormones are RAGING today.
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
So many things were brought up in this thread and I totally wish I was around for the conversations because I would love to contribute to all of these... Sadly I wasn't and I am so exhausted I can't possibly go through all of them. Next week!
@DuchessofCambridge I love beach vacations mostly because I think vacations are supposed to be relaxing. However I've never actually been on a tropical vacation, mostly Maine beaches and lakes. I absolutely hate city vacations. I don't think running around a crowded city is a vacation...it's a trip. I also like mountain cabins too and quiet B&Bs.
ETA: My FFFC is that I don't like it when kids are scared of little dogs. I understand that some big dogs can be scary when their face is at the same height as a child's and I guess there can always be bad experiences, but I was walking a 5yo to the bus from a class I subbed for when a parent walked by with 2 Maltese(s?) on a leash. This girl freaked out, pressed herself against the side of the bus, and cried. The dogs didn't even look at her and kept on going. And they're like 5lbs. I see so many other kids that are afraid to even walk past my dogs and I don't get it. My Maltese is 3lbs and my Sheltie is fat at 25lbs. It's not like they jump or lunge or anything like that.
TTC since August 2018
That said, I did have the most ridiculous experience a few months ago. Did I mention I hate my neighbors? I was walking out w him and he was playing w ds and this woman spots us down the hall and starts shouting "can you hold him?!" She's starting to run w her key out to get to her apartment. I mean the dog was on a leash. And he weighs like 8lbs and looks like a stuffed animal. It was so bizarre lol. That response is a little much, especially since he was leashed and a good distance away.
That said, I teach my son about the proper way to deal w our pets (we have a cat too) and other animals. I think it's important from a safety perspective.
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
Not all dog owners are responsible though so many people have had bad experiences in the past.
My MIL has a schnauzer who would try to climb in my lap while I was nursing my first. When I tried to push him off he would snap at me. Yet she would never lock him up or put him outside while we were there. It got to where I wouldn't even sit down with the baby. One time he actually bit me and her response was to pick him up and coddle him, and then shove him into my infant's face.
I totally get that not everyone is a pet person. Not everyone is a kid person. I try to keep my kids and pets out of people's faces.
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
And my own dog is still an overexcited puppy in a lot of ways and I try not to let anyone pet her until she calms down and lays down. I hate when people try to pet her when she's still trying to jump. I'm trying so hard to teach her appropriate behavior, don't reward her bad behavior!!!
Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012
TTC#1 since June 2015
June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN
July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN
August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying"
October 2016- We became licensed foster parents
November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo
March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*