Childcare

NYTino24

Let's talk about childcare? What is your best case scenario? Who will watch LO? What are costs like where you live? 

NYTino24

I have no idea what we are going to do! Being a teacher with summers off and a husband who does shift work makes me want to find flexible care, but most places want you to pay year round and all week. I may start calling around today, but I'd rather wait until we announce publicly that I'm pregnant because I know I can get a lot of advice from my friends on FB.

CubsFan7

Once I go back to work, my mom will watch the baby until they're one. Then, we'll switch to a home day care. My son is in a home day care with a lady who's awesome so we'll probably stick with her. When it's nice out, she takes them to the zoo, one of the children's museums, the beach, parks, etc. She's only $45\day which is on the cheaper end. Most in home day cares near me are around $60\day. Daycare centers are around the $60\day mark as well but I'm not a fan of day care centers. 

av2323

I use an in-home facility.  She is licensed by the state and provides wipes, breakfast, lunch, and one snack.
I currently pay $25 per day for one child.  When the second one comes it will be $40 per day for both.  Pretty sweet deal honestly.  We only pay for the days that he attends.

lancomechica2

Centers will likely not work with you on flexibility but some smaller daycares or in-homes will. 
Childcare is truly the most stressful part of becoming a parent. 

jess0211

Ah! This topic stresses me out! DH and I work at the same place but it's about an hour commute (hour and 15 mins in the evening) from home. There is a childcare center where we work but it's so expensive because it's really aimed at the medical doctors who work there. We have been debating between a center near our house versus work. I have decided I don't want the baby in the car for that entire commute, more due to the craziness and awful drivers and daily accidents. We are looking at a couple places about 15 minutes from our house that would be on the way to work, but they both have wait list and one isn't being super responsive which makes me already dislike it. Then we found one place that is about half-way. I would love to also checkout some in-homes but not sure how to find reputable ones.

CubsFan7

@jess0211, I found my in home day care by asking in a local group. It's a good way to find highly recommended ones. Also, most states should have a list of licensed day cares that includes both centers and in home. Usually they're on the dcfs website. 

TeacherMama7

I was a teacher, but I stay at home now. I just didn't make that much to justify paying for daycare. Plus, I really wanted to stay at home with him.

ElizabethSchuyler

We use an in home day care facility we found through our county. We need to make a decision whether or not we're going to put DS in a more structured school like environment. 

DuchessOfCambridge

Currently looking at a center near our new apartment that is expensive but doable ($350/week). Thanks for the info on how to find local in home care because that's an option we'd like to look into as well. We're hoping I can WFH twice a week and DH three times a week and avoid day care for six months but we'll see. It'd be great to only have our child go part time.

A long rant:
My only real concern with the daycare we're currently looking into is that I am very insistent our child be in a diverse environment from the very beginning. I'm Pakistani and DH is a mix of British/Sri Lankan/Russian Jew so I always want our kid to understand different is good and normal, never weird. The daycare near our new place only has pictures of African American children on their website, so I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable with that, just as I wouldn't be comfortable with an all white center, all Asian center, all Pakistani center, etc. Diverse to me doesn't just mean "all of another race that is not white" and I'm really looking for a place where my kid will never feel like the odd one out, or see anyone else as the odd one out. I'm also pretty surprised because we live in a big city and are moving to a very family oriented neighborhood and I just expected to see kids from all backgrounds at every daycare. Hoping we see more diversity on our actual tour than they have online!

ShePersisted

Wow when I see what you guys pay for childcare it makes me cry. We pay close to 40k a year and he is in a full day school right now so it's not even personal care! Don't even ask what we paid our nanny the first two years. We should move seriously! Oh The money we could save!! I have no idea how we will manage number two. We definitely need a nanny and we will have double costs for 6 months until the older one goes to a public school in the fall unless I just quit work for 6 months. 

hedgepig

Since DH and I both work part time away from home and part at home, and since we both have family nearby, and since there are exactly 0 daycare options in our town, we are hoping to cobble together a combination of us and grandparents. I haven't talked to our folks yet, since we haven't told them yet, but hopefully they'll each be willing to take the baby one or even two days a week. I think we can arrange our schedule so DH can do one day, and then we may have to find someone else to do a day.
It's crazy how stressful this whole process is. I feel so bad for all of you who have to deal with crazy expensive day care options that cost more than our annual income! (Looking at you @DuchessOfCambridge )

DuchessOfCambridge

@ShePersisted the Bright Horizons in my area quoted us almost $40k and we crossed them off our list, ha! You're in NYC right? Childcare must be so insane there/sounds it from your description! If we had to pay $40k I'd probably just stay home because my salary after taxes wouldn't be worth it.

ShePersisted

Yep NYC is insane!! We feel good that we get better salaries here but after you see cost of housing and child care you wonder if it's worthwhile. Lol. Bright Horizons is 40k here too and so are most other day care places. And then if you want to enroll your child in extra classes like swim or art it's an extra 1000 per semester for that! @DuchessOfCambridge I forgot, where are you? 

DuchessOfCambridge

@ShePersisted I haven't mentioned where I am yet Probably will soon, I feel like we've got a good core group now! There was another daycare we liked the idea of that did individual music instruction, it was pretty cool (though unnecessary for an infant?) but it was $2500/month. I play violin and clarinet, I'll teach my baby myself for free haha.

sarahunderthesea

DD will be moving up a class level (less $$$) around the time I have to go back to work but adding an infant, we are looks at $468/week (after a 10% sibling discount) for the two of them. Our daycare offers a reduced fee for 3 days of childcare. I currently work 4/10's with Friday off, my boss has mentioned the possibility of me WFH sometimes, so I am hoping to negotiate 1 day a week so we can get the reduced 3 day price.

CubsFan7

@ShePersisted If I went to the city near me, I'd be paying that much. The school I wanted to send my son to was $30k and it was for preschool. It is a very good school but just not happening. I work in the burbs so I can pay less for child care, schooling, housing, etc and have an easier commute. Otherwise I can make double what I make if I work in the city but then I would never make it home to pick up my kid from daycare or school in time. It's insane how much stuff costs depending on where you live. 

Furmommy

I like just outside of a VERY small town(500 people) and we found a lady that we like who lives in the town I work in and that DH has to drive through to get to work, so it works for both of us... We only pay for the time that baby will be there and it's $2.50/hour as an infant.  So not nearly as bad as what all of you are paying, but our cost of living is less here so we don't make as much either.

kissthesky32

My kids go to a center that we absolutely love. They'll be starting a new one after we move this summer. Though we're moving about 400 miles away, the costs are about the same. We currently pay $86/day for two children to attend full time. We get some discounts for paying early and having more than one child attend, which is nice.

I've always preferred a center over an in-home. I like that there are a lot of teachers who keep an eye on both the kids and each other. As someone who was raised with both great and terrible nannies, I like that there is more accountability and oversight at the centers.

TallMomma29

Even if I go with the cheapest option(s), I'd be looking at $50-$60K/year for 4 kids.  I'm currently trying to figure out how to make enough after taxes to pay that amount, because I am pretty sure I will absolutely lose my mind if I'm a full time SAHM to 4 under 4.   

My ideal situation would be to keep working part time, but I'm not sure if I can make that work financially.  I might have to suck it up and pay a bajillion dollars for childcare help in the initial months, and then once I start getting the swing of things consider SAHM until at least the older 1 or 2 are in Kindergarten. 

ugoglencoco

@ShePersisted I used to work at a BH and though it is a fantastic company, I was always blown away by how much money people paid them. And that was 10 years ago. It honestly hasn't changed much price wise from what you're saying but I had people with 3 or 4 kids there. Woah!

alparodi

2 kids will be about $440/week. If I lived closer to where I work, add $200/week to that! Could get an au pair for the price, but I don't have an extra bedroom. I am well paid at work, but the commute and job demands make me wonder if it is worth it.

Tourmalily

I have no idea and every time I think about it I shut down from anxiety. It's going to cost nearly half my yearly income to pay for daycare but we can't afford to get by if I quit my job. 

I have an appointment to tour a daycare very close to my house on Tuesday. They have no openings until JANUARY. Good God I hope I make it to my due date and beyond at this point. 

It doesn't help that John and I both work almost an hour away from home. 

dragonfly87-2

We haven't put much thought into specifics at this point, but have stashed away what we believe will be the max, which is around $1,400 a month for a center.

DH's mom offered to watch the baby on Mondays and Tuesdays since she is off, but we will see. I think she would be great, but I wouldn't want to burden her with having to do it consistently and having to work full-time. 

We will likely end up at a center, but might explore home daycare options. We both work in education and have random breaks throughout the year, so a home daycare may be more flexible and a better fit.

lck101

My husband and I will both continue to work full time, so we'll be using a daycare center in our area that charges what is typical around here--$300 per week. We visited several options, and, in addition to this center having the highest level of accreditation from the state, the people and environment just put me at ease. Having had no experience with any kind of daycare before now, I was really impressed with how warm and caring everyone was, and how genuinely happy the kids and parents that we saw were as well. Just a really good gut feeling.

Both sets of grandparents are in the area, and I fully expect that they'll be spending days with this little one here and there, but I just couldn't make myself okay with the idea of expecting any of them to provide care every day...even though they probably would have said yes. Just seems like such a huge obligation, and the control freak in me feels better knowing we have a solid plan for daily care.

Now, if we end up with twins...all bets are off and you better believe I'll be calling in some family favors! (I'm a twin, my mom is a fraternal twin, several other sets in my family as well...haven't had an ultrasound yet, so we shall see!)

av2323

Holy cow, it amazes me how much daycare costs in other areas.  We wouldn't be able to swing it.

CubsFan7

For those doing daycares (in home or otherwise), look into dependant care FSA with your or your husband's company. They take the money out pre-tax so it looks like you're making less to the government. It also gives you more back in a paycheck than, say, taking $400 out each paycheck. Oh and it helps on taxes at the end of the year as well. 

RiverSong15

Thinking about daycare is enough to give me a panic attack right now. There are 2 year waiting lists in my city for infant care (yep, you basically need to be on a wait list a year before you get pregnant - as if you can plan these things that well). And the cost is astronomical. The center associated with my husband's work (with his employer "discount") is $2000 a month. The other centers I've contacted are $2200-$2500 a month. With similar waiting lists. I have no idea what we're going to do to find care. We have no family close by to help out. I guess we'll have to start looking at nanny shares, but that makes me so nervous to not go with an accredited center with oversight. We have heard some nanny horror stories from friends. I also have no idea how to even start looking for a reputable nanny share or in-home option. We can only swing this because we have a great deal on rent, but that can only last so long (we're in a 1 bedroom).

lck101

@RiverSong15 Ugh, I'm so sorry...that sounds super stressful. In my state, there's a search engine through the family & social services administration that includes licensed in-home centers--maybe yours offers one too?

kwaldy

LO is already on a wait list at the same place that DD goes. We have income-adjusted rates... so its relatively affordable, but still with two kids, it'll be like... $1,100 a month. That makes me want to vomit.
Also, the wait list is so long, theyre estimating a 1 year wait-time to get a slot... so with 12 weeks maternity leave, hopefully we will have a slot by then. 

c+mpeachey

I posted on the other post but I'll post here too for comparisons. I live in the Aussie capital.  So it's a city.... but smaller than Sydney and Melbourne.

Local child care is $110 per day per child. I've heard some are up to $130. Before school is $50. After school is $60. So for me to work and have all 4 kids in care...... $440 per day. That's $8800 a month on average. 

I am not qualified for a job that would earn that much...... hence i am a SAHM. 

DuchessOfCambridge

c+mpeachey said:

I posted on the other post but I'll post here too for comparisons. I live in the Aussie capital.  So it's a city.... but smaller than Sydney and Melbourne.

Local child care is $110 per day per child. I've heard some are up to $130. Before school is $50. After school is $60. So for me to work and have all 4 kids in care...... $440 per day. That's $8800 a month on average. 

I am not qualified for a job that would earn that much...... hence i am a SAHM. 

You've got us all beat. I'd be a stay at home mom too.

c+mpeachey

 But this also makes me sad.....i want to go back to school and qualify (finally) as a midwife. But it'll be another 6 years before i can even think about it..... and even then id only be able to study part time.   

ShePersisted

@c+mpeachey whoa that's insane. How do people afford this? That's like officially detrimental to society. 

c+mpeachey

 @ShePersisted lots of people either have good jobs in government earning well over $120000 each per year. That's about $250k family income. Not kidding. People and money here is stupid.  Or you sahm like me. Or you have family close by. 

Cort1021

I am somewhat clueless at this point. I think a big factor for us will be our baby's personality. DH works from home  and I work in a family friendly environment (a church!) so if this baby is easy going and let's us get most of our work done, it might be doable to keep it at home part time and in my office part time. (please any STM chime in on if I'm crazy to think that would happen.)  That said, there's something very attractive about dropping a kid off in the morning and picking it up in the evening and getting all the time between to really focus on my job. That also leaves us a middle option- part-time nanny in the afternoons, although when I try to price it, I think a part-time nanny would cost as much as full-time daycare. 

So many decisions but luckily I have a while to make them. 

Airynn Chica

I'm a teacher but we can't do 3 in daycare. I'm in the process of getting licensed to do in home daycare at my house this fall. I'm really excited!

lancomechica2

@RiverSong15 getting on local FB moms groups is a great way to find someone to nanny share with. Once you link up you can both interview candidates etc. care.com and sittercity are good places to start. 

kwaldy

Cort1021 said:

I am somewhat clueless at this point. I think a big factor for us will be our baby's personality. DH works from home  and I work in a family friendly environment (a church!) so if this baby is easy going and let's us get most of our work done, it might be doable to keep it at home part time and in my office part time. (please any STM chime in on if I'm crazy to think that would happen.)  That said, there's something very attractive about dropping a kid off in the morning and picking it up in the evening and getting all the time between to really focus on my job. That also leaves us a middle option- part-time nanny in the afternoons, although when I try to price it, I think a part-time nanny would cost as much as full-time daycare. 

So many decisions but luckily I have a while to make them. 

I think in the tiny baby stage, it would be fine.... but oh my lord, when your LO got more mobile, I'm not sure...

DD is probably the easiest going kid on the planet, but I can barely clean the house with her running around, lol, let alone work. 

Cort1021

Thanks, @kwaldy - It's definitely not a long term solution but it could buy us more time to not pay for childcare. 

jess0211

We are starting to tour places this week. I feel like I have no idea what to ask. Can you ladies recommend questions I should be asking?