Weekly Random 4/17

lewliv

Comments? Questions? Rants? Raves?
If you don't know where it goes, it goes here!

lewliv

I'm going to be an auntie! I'm so happy for my brother and SIL. He has been extremely happy and supportive of my pregnancy despite his own struggles. Our babies will be less than 3 months apart. 

mrsw2017

Rant: I absolutely hate when older generations comment on new studies with "You don't have to do that. We never did with you kids and you turned out fine." Example: I was telling my mom and aunts how I would like to have a bassinet to keep baby in the same room with us for a few months as new studies have proven it reduces rate of SIDS. My mom said, "We put you in a crib down the hall right away and you were fine." I understand that it turned out fine for her but why would I not do everything I can to ensure a healthy baby. My response was "Well your mom probably told you 'You don't need to bother with carseats - we never worried about it with you and you turned out fine' and I bet you did what you thought was best, and I will too." 

mrsw2017

@livlew-2 Congrats! I loved having cousins so close in age. They will have a ball growing up together. My brother and sister in law just lost their baby girl to anencephaly last month. Our babies would have been 5 months apart. I'm praying for good news that they can start trying again soon. I know how much they want a family and want their kids to have cousins close in age. 

emilyrose807

I just had the weirdest moment. I was teaching a patient about back exercises for strengthening the core. I went to show her how to do cobra pose, and I COMPLETELY FORGOT I am pregnant. I was so embarrassed. I turned fluorescent red and was like, I can't show you because I'm pregnant. The patient looked at me like I was crazy for forgetting that. My stomach is huge, there is no forgetting. Such a weird moment.  Can the weird body stuff be over? Answer: Not even close!

imwithbaby

@mrsw2017 ugh, yes. My MIL commented about how her kids slept on their stomachs and were fine and I'm like they weren't fine, they were lucky. I don't understand why people don't get the concept of new research findings.

emilyrose807

mrsw2017 said:

Rant: I absolutely hate when older generations comment on new studies with "You don't have to do that. We never did with you kids and you turned out fine." Example: I was telling my mom and aunts how I would like to have a bassinet to keep baby in the same room with us for a few months as new studies have proven it reduces rate of SIDS. My mom said, "We put you in a crib down the hall right away and you were fine." I understand that it turned out fine for her but why would I not do everything I can to ensure a healthy baby. My response was "Well your mom probably told you 'You don't need to bother with carseats - we never worried about it with you and you turned out fine' and I bet you did what you thought was best, and I will too." 

@mrsw2017 My husband is kind of like this. He questions everything I think we need to do, and then when I say there are studies to show it is better for whatever reason, he just rolls his eyes. 

My friend's aunt told her that she was able to hold the baby in one hand and a beer AND a cigarette in the other and her kids "turned out fine." That at least made us laugh.

HappyToBeHere

I was at my ILs house, and they were watching an episode of Dirty Jobs or whatever it's called. It was about crabs, and after they pull the legs and whatnot off, they grind up the shells and all the leftover stuff and bag it, and sell it for fillers for crab cakes, etc. Which makes me not want crab cakes anymore.

This was also the first time I ever understood that that's likely how hotdogs are made, only with the "leftover" stuff of pigs. So now, while I love hotdogs, I can't imagine eating another one. Ever. Please tell me I'm being irrational.

Kathryn0903

Just have to say that I am so glad we moved in next door to 2 of our good friends. Came home to my neighbor/friend mowing our yard!

smallbutmighty77

My doctor apt this am I was told I am now at the point where I should be gaining about 1lb a week and 1inch a week. Not around, but from the like top to bottom of my belly length-wise should be an inch for every week. The look I must have given my doctor!
 Lady, I already have back pain and trouble bending over to put on my shoes, which barely fit at the end of the day, I need to double the weight I have gained and the belly has to get HOW much bigger? 
I just started laughing, I almost peed. Not the correct response, but I couldn't help it. 

Lauradi1010

2 year old DS got four Easter Baskets, a ton of chocolate/ candy and a $50 kiddie wheelbarrow. As a result he was so hyped up he went fell asleep after midnight and woke before 8am.  I love that my family is loving and generous, but everyone seriously needs to scale back.  He has more candy now than he got for Halloween.  Ugh!

My sister just informed me he also has something on the way from my cousin.  Praying it is not candy.

SarahBethBR

livlew-2 said:

I'm going to be an auntie! I'm so happy for my brother and SIL. He has been extremely happy and supportive of my pregnancy despite his own struggles. Our babies will be less than 3 months apart. 

We are in the same boat!  My SIL is due in October.

We both had IF and it's just amazing that it happened for us so close to the same time.  Also, my parents have been waiting almost 10 years for any grandkids and now they're getting three within a couple of months.

Congratulations on your niece or nephew!

lwhrmomma

@livlew-2 @SarahBethBR
Same boat! My Sil is due 6 weeks after me! So exciting! 

My random.....Baby has started kicking so strong I can see it from the outside.  Caught it on video.  I forgot how much I love feeling baby kicks!

littlebug2010

@smallbutmighty77 I'm with you! The idea of gaining an inch a week sounds insane! I'm short, so I feel like at some point I'm going to be as round as I am tall.  And I also can't wear some shoes any more because they just don't fit at the end of the day. I need it to be warm outside all the time now so I can wear sandals, so I don't need to bend down to put them on. 

bumpybump

@smallbutmighty77 (disclaimer: I haven't looked in the appointment thread since this morning so sorry if you put it there) did your OB start measuring your fundal height today?  Mine measured mine and I couldn't remember when that should start. 

bumpybump

Put on my maternity leggings for like the fifth time today. You can clearly see my underwear in the right lighting right around my crotch. Oops!  Guess I can only wear those with really long shirts and dresses instead of the ones that come like halfway over my butt. 

DeansGirl14

My shower is June 3 and my mom already sent the invites (she has a vacation coming up and June fills up quickly for people) so they starting arriving in people's mail on Friday. SO that means that stuff is starting to get purchased off the registry. This is so exciting! DH found a diaper bag with a Bears logo on it at Buy Buy Baby and someone got that already- awesome. He said if he had to carry a bag he'd better like it, so I'm thrilled on his behalf, haha. 
We didn't have much of a wedding registry (maybe 30 upgradables?) and this baby registry is way more fun! 

smallbutmighty77

@bumpybump Yes-that was the term she gave me...I was so busy thinking of how round I am going to be, I forgot. 24weeks, 24 inches. I am 5'2" so there is nowhere to go but out at this point. 
@littlebug2010 I just got 'birkenstock' style sandals from target-so excited to not have to wear closed shoes anymore. My feet don't fit end of day.

taylormarie923

DH and I spent the weekend painting nursery furniture, so I finally went through and washed and organized all the baby clothes. My sister sent a bunch of my niece's things, but I had given away almost everything of my son's so I had to go shopping today (darn!). While out I picked up these two outfits. I'm thinking coming home outfits. 

SarahBethBR

bumpybump said:

@smallbutmighty77 (disclaimer: I haven't looked in the appointment thread since this morning so sorry if you put it there) did your OB start measuring your fundal height today?  Mine measured mine and I couldn't remember when that should start. 

My OB started measuring mine when I was 17 weeks. But I'm having twins so I was already measuring 21. I would think by this point singleton pregnancies should be getting measured too. 

On friday when they measured me I was measuring 27 weeks already!

bumpybump

@taylormarie923 cute take home outfits!

knottie0d8cc4d43bacc09f

@taylormarie923 Those are ADORABLE! Perfect takehome outfits.

@bumpybump Mine are super thin too! I wore leggings with a longer shirt to work one day and noticed you could totally see through them. So professional. 

lewliv

Mammals birth methods by TED-Ed: https://www.facebook.com/TEDEducation/videos/1550344181645449/ 
Spoiler: Kangaroos have 3 vaginas 

DeansGirl14

Alright, I've got a question. The vaccine thing reminded me of this.

I saw a scary story on the internet once (of course!) about how someone with cold sores kissed a baby (because who doesn't love kissing sweet babies?) and the baby ended up with some disgusting cold sore-related disease. Scary shit. Welp, my mom has had cold sores my entire life. I don't have the slightest clue how to tactfully broach this subject, like, "Hey mom, never kiss my baby mmmkay?" Any ideas?

I assume I should just talk to a pediatrician about this ASAP. Maybe one of the vaccines helps prevent against cold sore related disease. But my mom is going to be a big help for us and while Baby's immune system is most vulnerable I just don't know how she should/shouldn't interact with her. Any bright ideas or reassurance?

SouthernMama15

@DeansGirl14 I've read that article, it's terrifying. I think the big thing is asking people not to miss baby on or around the mouth. I think it's weird to kiss anyone that's not your SO on the mouth, anyway. Maybe ask her to kiss LO on top of the head? Talking to the pediatrician about it is a great idea. Any time people act like I'm being crazy about DS, I just say, "well the pediatrician said".  

smallbutmighty77

@DeansGirl14 cold sores are caused by a virus, and I have been told that virus can pass very easily to a baby. Especially the first month it can cause serious symptoms, but after the first few months they usually develop the same symptoms we do-like a cold sore. 

I had asked my regular doctor about this before I was pregnant because some of my family members get them sometimes and I wanted more info. She had said if someone has a cold sore, they just need to limit anyones exposure to the sore itself-not to the person. Keep it covered, no kissing, wash hands a lot. I remember she said something about once it is scabbed over, it is no longer contagious. But I would talk to your doctor. 
I am sure your mom will understand about not kissing etc if it means keeping her grandchild healthy and safe.

emilyrose807

DeansGirl14 said:

Alright, I've got a question. The vaccine thing reminded me of this.

I saw a scary story on the internet once (of course!) about how someone with cold sores kissed a baby (because who doesn't love kissing sweet babies?) and the baby ended up with some disgusting cold sore-related disease. Scary shit. Welp, my mom has had cold sores my entire life. I don't have the slightest clue how to tactfully broach this subject, like, "Hey mom, never kiss my baby mmmkay?" Any ideas?

I assume I should just talk to a pediatrician about this ASAP. Maybe one of the vaccines helps prevent against cold sore related disease. But my mom is going to be a big help for us and while Baby's immune system is most vulnerable I just don't know how she should/shouldn't interact with her. Any bright ideas or reassurance?

@DeansGirl14 It's only if she has a visible cold sore that she shouldn't be kissing (anyone) or sharing cups or silverware. Probably for the best if you never share chapstick or lipstick with her. But she won't give the baby herpes if she kissed him/her when she is healthy.  My dad has Type 1 herpes (ie cold sores), and he never gave it to my mom or any of us 4 kids by using the above rules. My step daughter has it too, but her dad and I haven't gotten it (yet), the same way.

emilyrose807

My midwife started measuring me at 21 weeks. I think it's 21 cm for 21 weeks. I was 25 cm for 24 weeks, so she said "right on track." I think that is the craziest thing!

taylormarie923

I got herpes simplex 1 a number of years ago.  My mom has had it her whole life. As long as you are careful during an outbreak, there's not much to worry about. I kiss my son all the time normally and avoid sharing anything or kissing whenever I have an outbreak. Luckily I don't get them often, about once a year, but as he's getting older he is more curious about the owie on my lip and wants to touch it. He also gets mad that I air kiss him or only let him kiss my cheek. But herpes type 1 is extremely common. Something like 1 in 2 people have it, so it's nearly impossible to avoid. 

DeansGirl14

taylormarie923 said:

I got herpes simplex 1 a number of years ago.  My mom has had it her whole life. As long as you are careful during an outbreak, there's not much to worry about. I kiss my son all the time normally and avoid sharing anything or kissing whenever I have an outbreak. Luckily I don't get them often, about once a year, but as he's getting older he is more curious about the owie on my lip and wants to touch it. He also gets mad that I air kiss him or only let him kiss my cheek. But herpes type 1 is extremely common. Something like 1 in 2 people have it, so it's nearly impossible to avoid. 

Good to know!
My mom is on vacation right now; I sent a quick e-mail to my dad with a few web links asking him how he thought I should broach the subject. Even thinking back, I think my mom was also, like you, careful never to kiss us when she had a sore. It IS extremely common- which is also part of my worry! Appreciate your perspective. 

DeansGirl14

Another random question which is probably more for a doctor or midwife, but I'm curious now what the STMs have to say! (And I haven't gone to any birthing classes yet; that'll come probably in May or June.)

Just came across a Fit Pregnancy article about various types of labor positions and the pros/cons. I'm looking at the pictures of women in various types of squats and hugging birth balls and whatnot... so my question is, if you have an epidural, I presume you're unable to assume any position besides sitting up/lying down. Yes, no?
Is that part of the reason some women choose to have "natural" child births, so they can utilize whatever labor position would be needed? Does having the pain medication mean your trade away your ability to do anything but lay/sit and push?
I kind of always assumed I'd ask for an epidural but... 

imwithbaby

@DeansGirl14 yes that's correct. With an epidural you won't be able to feel your legs soooo that eliminates that lol. I think you can get a "walking" epidural but you still won't have enough feeling to support yourself in a squat position.

This is one of the reasons I'm doing a med free birth (one of the many reasons) since squatting opens your pelvis more and has been shown to be a more optimal position. Some people also really like pushing on all fours. I think if you want an epidural your best bet will be to see if you can sit the head of the bed up so you're not flat on your back. 

ETA this is also why you'll need a urinary catheter if you get an epidural, because you can't walk to the bathroom. But from what I've read from other moms here you don't feel the catheter at all since you're numb.

DeansGirl14

@mrsmatt1212
thanks! definitely a lot more to think about! 

Nxy

Yes to all of what @mrsmatt1212 said. 
When I had my epidural it was patient controlled so I really liked that I only got the drugs when I needed them. I'd recommend asking if your hospital offers them if you decide to get the drugs. Yes the trade off was that I couldn't change positions to push. They did have me sitting way way up with the back of the bed up. The nurse and DH held my legs toward my chest. 
 
^ like this. I didn't feel like I was explaining it very well. (photo courtesy of google). I still felt like I was able to push effectively in this position. 

bumpybump

@DeansGirl14,  @Nxy and @mrsmatt1212 covered the non-movement with an epidural. I looked similar to the picture Nxy posted except my feet would have been higher, like at the top of that bar and when a contraction came, DH and the nurse pushed them up to my chest. 

brookeelyse527

I was in that position while pushing as well, except a sheet was tied to the top bar and I pulled on it while pushing. 

taylormarie923

I always assumed the various pushing positions were to help with pain management.  I had a little bit of control of my legs, but my nurse commented on me lifting my leg up to the stirrup, so I think that is uncommon. My pushing experience was the same as what previous people said. During those contractions, it was such an overwhelming NEED to push that nothing else crossed my mind. 

Nxy

I just read Serena Williams is 20 weeks does that make her an August Mom or would that be September? Either way, you can come out of hiding we know your here somewhere 

DeansGirl14

Fellow August Bumpies, I have a non-baby-related RANDOM and need collective wisdom of the Dear Abby variety. 

As some background, my parents live in a rural area on a couple acres and the neighbors who moved in several years ago, on a half-dozen acres, are fucking crazy people who are causing my 60-something parents far more stress than they deserve in their golden years. Lots of drama over the years, and several times my sister and I have told my parents to get a lawyer or call the police and they won't because they still have to live there and don't want further retribution. (Crazy in terms of neighborly conduct, nothing like drug dealing or child abuse or something.) 

So the latest neighbor drama is that neighbors have a coy pond. Did I mention this is the country? Wild animals eat fish. Dude gets upset that something ate his fish. So this guy wanted to smoke bomb my parents' property to smoke out whatever critters are eating his fucking fish. Dad was going to acquiesce until my sister and I explained all the liabilities and risks he was getting himself into and to Just Say No, which he did eventually after all. 

Dad just sent an e-mail saying the guy has been playing the radio loudly in his house's direction for like, a week, all day and all night. Remember the acreage? That means it's fucking loud. Dad can hear it over the TV and with windows closed. Why? Because Crazy Guy thinks noise is going to keep away minks and whatever critters he thinks are living in the wood pile on our property. 

Dad refuses to file a noise violation. There's no HOA, because it's the country. Every other retribution I can think of is illegal and would escalate the situation (i.e. take a baseball bat to said fucking radio). 

What would you do with nutjobs like these disturbing the peace? 

knottie0d8cc4d43bacc09f

@DeansGirl14 That brings back terrible memories of apartment living with the WORST neighbors. Has your dad ever gone next door and tried to talk to them? That's probably a naive approach, but if he explained that the music is really disturbing, maybe the neighbor would back off? Probably wishful thinking. My immature side would blast music right back at him and start a war. 

cmmiller531

Like some of the other moms have said you cannot pass cold sores without a visible oozing sore, oozing being the key word. Both my dad and I get them from time to time (they used to follow my menstrual periods when I was younger and have become less and less frequent) but my mom nor my brother nor my husband has ever contracted one. It's a virus and it either effects you or it doesn't. I wouldn't bother making a potential awkward conversation with your mom over it. If she has an outbreak then I imagine she knows well enough to not physically kiss your baby. @DeansGirl14