PGAL Check-In 4/13

laeberge3

Check-in for those who are pregnant after a loss. If you're new, introduce yourself and tell us your story.

1) How far along are you?

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?

3) When is your next appointment?

4) Rants/Raves/Questions

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite?

aprilsarahjune

Check-in for those who are pregnant after a loss. If you're new, introduce yourself and tell us your story.

1) How far along are you? 14 weeks, 2 days (doc moved up my due date by 2 days)

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?  I have been weepy the last few days.  Easter is a few days away and I am staying away from my family event.  About a week after my miscarriage, my aunt sent me a text message in flowery religious language, but if you read through the b/s, it basically said that God had a purpose in killing my baby.  She meant well but her clouded brain made poor judgment.  I should just get over it, but frankly, I don't want to.  So, I am going to have the weekend that DH would prefer anyway - spend the holiday with our local friends and then play outside.  

3) When is your next appointment? May 4, but as with the last appointment, I anticipate that it will be uneventful.

4) Rants/Raves/Questions My work has a "snack closet".  Ladies in the office who fill it, just asked me what I was craving, so I added fruit roll-ups and pop tarts to the list.  I haven't bought or eaten those in years because we are pretty strict about the food we bring in our house ... but yum!

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite? Right now, I like doing kid laundry.  And I hate cleaning DH's and my bedroom.  It is a messy room and we are always slow to do anything about it.

laeberge3

@aprilsarahjune I don't blame you for staying away.  Sorry your aunt sent such an insensitive text message.  I've been craving pop-tarts lately.  Must go buy some!

1) How far along are you?  14w6d

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?  Emotionally, lately I'll just burst into tears randomly. I know it's part work-stress related but some of it is PGAL-brain.  Physically, I've been feeling good absent this constant constipation battle. I think I finally have my daily regimen in place to make it better, though, so that makes me happy.

3) When is your next appointment?  Forever from now - 5/15.  I had one earlier this week and they wanted to schedule a check-up for 4 weeks out and then the AS for two weeks later, but that didn't work for anyone's schedule so we settled on 5 weeks and we'll do it all.  Thankfully I have a lot coming up to keep me busy. 

4) Rants/Raves/Questions  Rant: it seems like everyone is off tomorrow for the Easter holiday.  I have never had this day off since it's not a federal holiday, but it's going to be sooo nice tomorrow that I'm tempted to take off. 

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite?   My favorite is vacuuming and I despise anything to do with dishes. 

aprilsarahjune

@laeberge3 I don't have tomorrow off either.  I didn't have it off in college either, so I am a little stunned at the rate at which the world is coming to a halt tomorrow.  Schools and daycares are closed around here.  DH and I both need to work tomorrow, though, so I am on my back up to my back up babysitter.  

aprilsarahjune

::Bump:: PGAL ladies - hello - anyone out there?  @laeberge3 and I are lonely!

migdala

Hiiiiiiiiiiii

I'm sorry your aunt got it so wrong, @aprilsarahjune , but I'm glad you're making lemonade and having the weekend you'd rather have anyway!  And I'm also exceptionally weepy @laeberge3 - DH and I (finally) watched the final episode of the John Adams HBO series last night and I lost my shit, like full on bawling the entire time.  It WAS sad but I'm usually not that much of a crier!  In my defense, I saw one little tear on DH's face when Abigail died and John was so distraught ... and then he had to go pick up a friend from the airport and I got the tightest bear hug of my life, which made me cry even more to know he was thinking about how sad he'd be if I went first.  And now I'm kind of crying again just thinking about it.  I'm a mess!

1) How far along are you?  13w5d

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?  I had an unbelievably good day yesterday - no nausea until the stop-and-go drive home from work, and I had SO much energy all day long, I got tons of work done.  Today I feel like I got hit by a truck again.  Hoping tomorrow I feel good so I know yesterday wasn't just a blip.  Emotionally I am GREAT!  The handheld doppler came last night and we found the HB right away - so amazing!

3) When is your next appointment?  April 20, just a midwife checkup

4) Rants/Raves/Questions  Rave - Progenity took all 10 days of their "10 business day" turnaround but we finally got the call this morning and it's a girl!!!  I kind of knew it even though I wouldn't say it out loud - I've been slipping up and saying "she" instead of "it" for weeks now, though.  I thought it was a girl last time around and it ended up being a boy when we got the genetic results back after the MC, and I was so surprised since I always thought my first would be a girl.  And I guess that premonition is coming true, just not how I thought - my first living child WILL be a girl, even though my first pregnancy was a boy.  Kind of a weird thing.

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite?  DH is skiing in the mountains for the rest of the week so I have to feed the dogs and the smell of their food makes me gag so that gets my least favorite chore vote currently.  It used to be one of my favorites though, they're so adorable when they want food!

aprilsarahjune

@migdala  I hope you get your energy back again soon.  Congrats on your baby girl!  Part of me is glad to know so little about my angel baby, but I definitely wonder sometimes "who" that baby was.  

laeberge3

@migdala Aww, your sweet H.  I cry at TV shows all the time right now.  Glad you found the HB on the doppler right away! It's so nice being able to pull that out in times of anxiety.  And yay Team Pink!!

@aprilsarahjune It's weird adjusting to everyone being gone tomorrow, for sure! Funny thing is, my H, who works at a Catholic school, isn't off.  At least he's not hanging out at home while I'm working.

cooaladolly

@aprilsarahjune sorry bout that insensitive aunt. Some people just have no clue how hurtful their words can be. And a snack closet? I wish we had one of those!
@laeberge3 glad you're feeling a bit better physically. I always think a routine helps a lot.
@migdala I don't know that series you were watching, but the story about your DH is really touching. Congratulations on your baby being a girl. Sometimes you just have that intuition even if it is a little later than planned.

1) How far along are you?... 12w6d.

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?... Physically better every day. The nausea is almost gone, maybe getting it just a little bit each day now but not nearly as strong as before. Energy is starting to perk up just a little bit, I think with the help of the nicer weather. I can even go to the bathroom again, hooray! (@laeberge3 I've been taking 100mg of colace each morning and eating one or two prunes every afternoon, and it's totally helping.) Emotionally I'm in a good place despite work being in total uproar due to the building split. Only two more months to finish hiring, retraining, get set up, etc.

3) When is your next appointment?... This coming Tuesday, eek! In fact it's three appointments in a row. My genetic counseling appt, my first trimester screening (I believe they'll be doing the NT scan) and then the followup with my OB, all after work. It's going to be a long day!

4) Rants/Raves/Questions... Rant: I work in a man's world. I applied for an operations manager position this week, which I'm highly suited for in more ways than one (in other words, two of the positions would fit me to a T). My only downfall is having a uterus and my bosses know that I won't be around for peak, the busiest part of our season, so it's about a 1 in 100 chance of me getting the position. I'll hopefully find out tomorrow if I even get to interview for it.

4) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite? Favorite would be filing, I love getting everything in order. Least favorite is definitely the bathroom so my SO is usually kind enough to do it for me. Least favorite that I actually have to do regularly though is certainly laundry.

flowerintherain

@laeberge3 thanks for starting this thread back up! I have 5 weeks between appointments too and it's driving me nuts lol! Do You have a doppler? I think that's the only thing currently keeping my anxiety at ease.
@aprilsarahjuneI'm sorry your aunt said that we got quite a few of those "God has his reasons" lectures from people as well. I don't think people realize how insensitive it can be.
@migdala yay, congrats on team pink!!

1) How far along are you?
12w2d

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?
I had some kind of stomach bug the past couple of days, but today I'm feeling much better and have actually been able to eat and not puke! Emotionally i'm good. My doppler is keeping me sane, but I still get anxious and sad when I see people posting their losses. Especially seeing one of our pgal mommas have to say goodbye after she hit the 2nd tri really made the "anything can happen" realization sink in. I'm hoping everyone else on our Oct17 board is here to stay!

3) When is your next appointment?
Not till I'm 15 weeks

4) Rants/Raves/Questions
I went to go get the registration done for my car today and the county office was already closed for Easter! It's only Thursday.. I understand places being closed tomorrow, but come on who takes off the Thursday before Easter?!

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite? 
Ayeee, I should be cleaning my house right now lol. I like doing laundry..its easy and who doesn't like having clean clothes, sheets, and towels. I hate mopping. It's a pain in the butt. I wish I had carpet.

laeberge3

@flowerintherain  I do have a Doppler which has helped a lot with the weeks in between!  Glad you're feeling better!

Uhlease13

Ditto - so sad to see one of our own have to leave it definitely keeps things in perspective. Can't feel too comfortable some days. 

How far along are you: 13+6

How are you feeling: physically - pretty decent. Had a "blah" day but oh well TGIF tomorrow. Nobody I know has tomorrow off! Emotionally -ok right now! Had a great NT scan on Monday so that has taken me into today and will prob do doppler when I get home. Just for reassurance

Next appt: May 8th so far away!

Rants/Raves/Questions: nope

Gkty: fav chore...cleaning the kitchen I guess! Least fave: bathrooms - Dh does those! 

aprilsarahjune

@cooaladolll Let us know whether they are giving you the interview.  Having a uterus is definitely a challenge in a typical-all-male work environment.  
@flowerintherain Boo to the stomach bug but glad it is almost through for you.  As to the DMV,  that place drives me mad.  Last year DH went in on his birthday (the last possible day), but no big deal - we were taking care of it.  The building's a/c went out (in May, in a northern US climate), so they closed before opening that day.  So, DH drove to work a few days with expired tags until we could fix it. Drrr....
@Uhlease13 TGIF!!

nbcarlson

1) How far along are you?
11+1

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?
Physically still super exhausted. Nausea is getting better. All of they symptoms seem to be coming and going so it's hard to keep track of. Emotionally I am feeling better, all of my losses were super early so even though I know anything can happen I feel much less stressed now. One of my friends sent me her doppler and it should be here soon and I know that will help too. 

3) When is your next appointment?
I just had an appointment last week, we decided to skip all of our first tri screening so I won't have another appointment until May. 

4) Rants/Raves/Questions
I am having a repeat C-section and my mom is super pushy about trying for a VBAC. She had 6 kids naturally so she already thought it was a catastrophe that I had an emergency C-section with my first. I had a horrible labor and my son almost ended up in the NICU, the C-section was the only part of my labor that wasn't traumatic. 

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite? 
I don't think I have a favorite haha. I do very little housework because DH is a SAHD and takes care of the house. I hate putting my laundry away though haha. 

laeberge3

@nbcarlson Sorry you're still feeling exhausted, but glad the nausea is getting better.  Also, sorry your mom is being so pushy on the VBAC.  My mom's the opposite and had all C-sections and she doesn't understand why people have vaginal births (clearly, she has a bit of a warped view of childbirth, ha!).  I know you're making the best decision for you.

aprilsarahjune

@nbcarlson @laeberge3 +1 on doing what is right for you without feeling pressured.  If I had gone for a VBAC on my second birth (which I had the option of doing), it would have been a tragic tale.  I am cool with people who want all natural births, but as for me, my C-sections have been great and I have no regrets.

Uhlease13

@nbcarlson sorry your mom is being pushy...that's frustrating.

I know many people are announcing their pregnancies around now-have any of our pgal moms done so yet? Did you include any loss information? I'm just very curious what people are doing. I'm not even sure if we will announce so just wondering TIA

laeberge3

@uhlease13 We announced yesterday. I went back and forth and back and forth but decided to go ahead. I didn't include anything about our loss with the announcement, but I had publicly acknowledged it back in October. We received lots of support and congrats, which felt nice. 

flowerintherain

@nbcarlson ugh mothers can be so pushy sometimes. Ultimately, you know your body best and what's most comfortable for you. I'm sure once your mom meets her sweet little grandbaby for the first time, she won't care how it came into the world

@Uhlease13 I told immediate family and super close friends around 9 weeks, but I don't think we'll be announcing publicly on social media or anything at all. I know that's against the norm and most people are doing cute little Easter announcements, but I just can't bring myself to let it quite feel real yet. I'm not trying to hide my pregnancy or anything and I'll inevitably get tagged in photos looking pregnant eventually. But those that are important already know, and I don't really see the need for wonderful world of Facebook knowing all details of my life.

Ka++Lo

1) How far along are you?
13w1d

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?
Been fine

3) When is your next appointment?
Wednesday April 19, yay! 

4) Rants/Raves/Questions
This is my first PGAL check in. I can't wait for my appointment this week. I think I can almost start relaxing. My last 2 pregnancy attempts ended with a blighted ovum at week 10 and an ectopic at week 9. So far I've had 2 ultrasounds already and one doppler heartbeat confirmation, but still doesn't prevent me from worrying. 

And I am also debating whether to announce on Facebook. I've always been a big proponent of Facebook announcements for major life events, because what better way to let all your casual friends and family know. If someone gets mad because they didn't hear, I'm usually like, well I posted on Facebook, not my fault you didn't see. But after such a long struggle to get pregnant, I know how painful it is to see all the flowery pregnancy announcements. And don't get me started on people who gush daily about how freaking amazing it is being a mother--life is complete once you have kids, don't you know.
Anyway, I kinda don't want to post, although I know I probably will when it gets closer. I would love to post being honest about our struggles, but I don't want people at work knowing that I resulted to science to get pregnant (I feel pressure to make it seem more accidental, which I know is crazy). 

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite?
Chores, what are chores? 

migdala

@Uhlease13 I'm planning on putting something on Facebook after the early anatomy scan. It'll just be an ultrasound pic with flowers around it and I'm planning on referencing the fact that this is a rainbow baby... I don't want to get into details of the MC on Facebook but I do know how much it helped me to realize how common MCs are, so I'd like to put it out there in case someone else needs to realize that too.

aprilsarahjune

@Ka++Lo I completely understand the urge to make the pregnancy sound accidental for work purposes.  My first  pregnancy was from clomid and was also at an inopportune time in my career.  I just went around with a terrified look on my face at work saying I can't believe this is happening, when in reality I was so happy and life was great.  I am not sure if that pressure you are feeling is real or imagined, but I definitely felt it too and never figured out whether it really mattered.    

Uhlease13

@reneeannemm hey girl, how you doing? Haven't seen you post in awhile, just want to make sure everything is ok! 

Amesie13

Hi I haven't posted on this pregnancy after loss link but have been struggling a bit more lately. I had an early loss only about 3 weeks before getting pregnant with this one and I had been struggling with unexplained infertility for quite some time so it has been a traumatic journey thus far. 

1) How far along are you? 13 weeks 4 days

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally? way more emotional recently cried for a long time on Sunday. I really hate telling people I am pregnant I never told people I was pregnant the first time around as I was only 5 weeks and had just told my parents and siblings other than my husband of course. I feel like the more I talk about it then something bad will happen or the baby who died will be forgotten. 

3) When is your next appointment? next thursday afternoon 

4) Rants/Raves/Questions I wish I could get ultrasounds weekly to know baby is fine I am always worried.

5) GTKY: What's your favorite chore? Least favorite? My favorite chore would be vacuuming my least favorite is pretty much everything. lol 

Thanks for reading

aprilsarahjune

@amesie13 Welcome!  I am in a slightly different place than you otherwise, but I also got pregnant 3 weeks after an early loss.  I spent the first few months of this pregnancy feeling broken, and now I bounce back and forth with being excited for this new LO and wanting to mourn the loss that I just suffered.  I have other children - even had a very difficult twin pregnancy - but this is the first time I have actually been scared about possible outcomes.  All of this is simply to say that you are welcome here, and it is okay to feel the way that you are feeling.

Amesie13

Thanks 

lizgirlie

Hi it's my first post on this thread. So glad to read your stories of heartache and loss and know I'm not alone. As far as I knew at the time, I was the only woman on the planet to ever have suffered a mc. Hugs to all of you rainbow warriors.

1) 14 weeks tomorrow
2) April 11th was the one year anniversary of me losing my first ever pregnancy, at 9w. We had seen the heartbeat the week before and were overjoyed. I have been in a total mindfog / state of limbo ever since... unable to go back to the childless person I had always been for the previous 40 years, and unable to move forwards with the mum-to-be persona that I was so embracing when (he) was cruelly wrenched from my womb and my heart. I plan to announce this week so I'm hoping that a bit of love and excitement from my friends will help me to move on.
3) I get to talk to a midwife in 2 weeks. The doppler has to keep me sane until my next scan at 22 weeks.
4) I live in France and they don't do the genetic blood test unless a preliminary blood test shows and as > 1 in 250 chance of DS, so I hope not to need it, but I'd love to confirm she's a girl!
5) I like washing up as it keeps my hands warm, but I make DH clean the shower as my long hairs in the drain gross me out lol.

aprilsarahjune

@lizgirlie Welcome!  I hope you can settle into a comfortable, smooth pregnancy soon!