PGAL Check-in 4/12

leighalou91

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating): I am 26 years old, I have a 21 month old girl. I had miscarriage June 2016. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms): I feel fine! Just sore boobs on and off. It doesn't help that my girl is still breastfeeding. 

3. EDD? How far along are you? Dec 23. I am 4w1d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise): I am nervous. I get the results of my second betas tomorrow. 

5. When is your next appointment? Once I get the results of the betas I will either schedule another beta test or schedule my first ultrasound (which would be in about a week or so)

6. Rants/raves/whatever: Besides being tired as crap from working an overnight shift yesterday and then driving straight to my in-laws, none!

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? Usually talk through my anxieties with DH.

rainbowwishes5

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating) ftm 4th pregnancy. CAUTIOUSLY joining. Very superstitious even posting is bad luck as I've had nothing but 3 betas.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
mild heartburn. Extreme anxiety.

3. EDD? How far along are you?
maybe 4w6d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
terrible. Can't sleep. Hyperventilate a lot too.

5. When is your next appointment? 
Friday bw for 4th beta.

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

None.

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising?
watch asmr on you tube

justsuzie

@rainbowwishes5
im sorry you are feeling so anxious but I seriously get it.  This is a safe place and we don't judge. I was feeling super anxious at first and then I realized whatever will happen or already had happened is something I can't control. I have stayed off google. I don't research others progress or compare my betas or ultrasounds. I really think it has helped me out. Good luck to you. I hope to get to know you over the next 9 months!

rainbowwishes5

@justsuzie thank you! Yes! Comparing makes me nuts. 

kiki75

*lurker*
Sorry, there are a few people here I know and keep tabs on and cheer for. I saw some of your discussion about the "Odds of NOT Having an Early Miscarriage" chart.

If this chart helps you to feel good and reduces your stress, that's awesome. Keep up with it. 

For those of you who have mixed feelings about it and would like to know more about it, read on. 

*TW* Again, I warn you, if that chart helps keep you sane, stop reading. During my pregnancy, I clung to this chart. I kept a screenshot on my phone and every single morning I would look it up first thing. I didn't have a history of loss, but I worried nonetheless. By the time I could get in for my first ultrasound, I was 9+1. 98% That I would get to keep my baby! It was then that I was DX with a MMC (quit growing somewhere between 5-6 weeks). One of the things that was hard for me was that with only a 2% chance of loss, I still lost the baby. You can bet I don't win money when I only have a 2% chance so how is it that I hit this 2%? I felt...maybe betrayed? So it was one of my questions in my follow-up with my OB. At 9+1, the chart says that I should have a 98% chance of keeping it so WHY did I lose this one? She just sighed and said that those charts are only accurate if the embryo/fetus has developed normally up to that point. So really, I lost mine when there was a 10-16% chance of loss. So while this takes away from the comfort of that chart, it also takes away from feeling extra bad to have suffered a loss when you thought the chance was so slim. 

justsuzie

@kiki75. This is exactly what I was thinking about! I don't think it gives people a realistic representation of the "chances" because most people don't go in for a US before 8 weeks and you have no idea what development has taken place. I look at the odds from when I had my last ultrasound at 5weeks and 6 days but we haven't heard a heartbeat yet so who knows. I think it's important to have hope but to also be realistic. 

TigerCakes

@kiki75 thanks for sharing! @justsuzie I completely agree with you.  I only look at the odds for 5 weeks 2 days because that's when I had my ultrasound.  I will have another ultrasound in 2 more days at 6 weeks 2 days and will then look at those odds.

rainbowdashh

That's a good point about that chart. My loss really was in that 1% range (though I never had a good feeling about that pregnancy unfortunately), but it makes a lot of sense to look at it that way to not feel like something so unlikely happened.

PennStateCait

Just wanted to say @kiki75 thanks for sharing your experience and setting realistic expectations.  

And with that, I'll start participating here. It sucks that there are so many of us PGAL-ers here but I just intro'd and am glad that you guys are here to understand the anxieties and fear that comes with PGAL.

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating): I am 27. I have no children. My H and I did IVF and had a miscarriage after our first IVF attempt. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms): The symptoms have mostly all dissipated aside from the fatigue. Which worries me. 

3. EDD? How far along are you? EDD is Dec 16 and I'm 5w2d today.

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise): I am anxious now that my symptoms are going away. I know they come and go. But of course the irrational worries flood my brain.

5. When is your next appointment? My first ultrasound is this Thursday at 5w5d. 

6. Rants/raves/whatever: I found out today my RE graduates me at 7 weeks. I wasn't prepared for that... I thought I had a lot more time and a lot more extra ultrasounds.

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? Remind myself that there is no point in worrying. Remind myself that before my loss, I was so blissfully happy. I wouldn't trade those blissful happy days for anything so I try to be blissfully happy again without worry.

justsuzie

@PennStateCait I lost ALL symptoms at 5 weeks and they were gone for about 3-4 days.  Then BOOM, they hit me hard.  My nipples are so sore.  I am dizzy and a bit nauseated all day. I am only 6 weeks 5 days so I can't imagine what I will feel like in a few more days.  So, don't worry (lol, how many times have we heard that?!.)  My doc said it's completely normal.  I think our pgal brain is also sooooo in tune with our bodies that we pick up symptoms other wouldn't and then worry when they are gone.  Good luck at your appointment. I have one as well on Thursday.  We are hoping to hear a HB because we will be 7 weeks and a day!  I never made it past 5 weeks 4days  so I already feel better about things. 

PennStateCait

@justsuzie That makes me feel so much better! I really should be enjoying these non-nauseous days, shouldn't I? Good luck at your Thursday appointment too! So exciting!! 

rainbowwishes5

@PennStateCait I remember you from IF- I don't think I'll participate on that thread though because this was spontaneous. I was never successful with my RE. But they are still seeing me and I get to have a ton of betas drawn- as many as they'll let me! So glad to see you here!

PennStateCait

@rainbowwishes5 Hey! Welcome! I remember you from the IF board as well. Congrats on your bfp!

rainbowwishes5

Ugh no symptoms. Yesterday my single heartburn symptom subsided and today nothing. I have zero symptoms. Plus my uterus felt like it was expanding and today nothing. I think I'll go for a beta tomorrow since I think it's all over.

beaandthebabes

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

FTM but second pregnancy. We lost the first in January. We are very very hopeful but very very gun shy this time.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Nausea, heartburn, sensitivity to smells, chills and hot flashes 

3. EDD? How far along are you?

12.04.17, 7 weeks 2 days

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

I feel like I'm walking on the ice and it is fun and exciting but I know that if I fall it will hurt and if the ice breaks I will go under and for all the happiness I can't stop worrying about that. That's how I have explained it to DH anyway. 

5. When is your next appointment? 

In one week. Wednesday 4.26. This will be my second ultrasound and my first blood draw. 

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

I lost my mother 4 years ago and not having her with me for these scary but exciting times is hard. I don't have many friends who have had kids and I'm not close to any of my family that have so I've felt a little alone until I found this board. It is really helping me to read all of these posts and see a little community growing. 

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? I try to remind myself to love the heck out of this little blueberry for as long as I can. When I am really afraid, I hold my tummy and talk and sing to the pip. 
I also take great comfort in my husband. Every day we discuss our anxieties and our hopes for this pregnancy and having someone to be scared and excited with helps.