PGAL Check-in 4/12

justsuzie

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

3. EDD? How far along are you?

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

5. When is your next appointment? 

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising?

NME44

Still no symptoms, maybe some tingling in my breasts, but not sore.

Still very early at 4 weeks, 2 days.

i feel okay at the moment, anxiety wise.

I had a blood draw today and another on Friday.

for now, I try to stay calm by remembering I didn't even know I was pregnant with my daughter until I was already 5 weeks along. So no symptoms isn't necessarily an indicator at this point. Later in the first trimester, I'm hoping pregnancy symptoms and being busy with my kids will keep anxiety at bay. And second trimester on, I can usually concentrate on baby movements to calm myself. *deep breaths*

flowerpower5838

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Still no symptoms. I was super tired the other day, but I think that was just my night owl status catching up with me.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

I think 12/19 - 4w1d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

I am fine. It is what it is until it isn't.

5. When is your next appointment? 

I have a second blood draw tomorrow where I'll of course get a second beta and also learn my progesterone levels and if I need to be on a supplement or not.

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

I understand why, but DH's habit to write of pregnancy until we are further in just makes me so sad. It's his coping mechanism and after 6 losses, I obviously understand the need to have one because I am not so different but it would nice if we could privately celebrate together instead of just kind of dread the next few+ weeks.

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising?

I am a compartmentalizer. My anxiety and really all feelings pregnancy related are currently tucked away and probably won't rear their ugly heads until (if) I start spotting or a dating u/s. If that doesn't work, I just try and focus on the "today I am pregnant" mantra.

dragonette505

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating) hey figured I'd pop in here... *tw***have had two losses (and no successful pregnancies)end tw**

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I have less symptoms this week than last week, but at the moment, mostly fatigue, some mild occasional nausea, intermittent cramping. 

3. EDD? How far along are you? 5 weeks today (EDD 12/13/17)

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Pretty anxious when I think about the future. Super anxious today as I had my 3rd beta and ultrasound.

5. When is your next appointment? next appointment is 4/26/17

6. Rants/raves/whatever rave... got through today's appointment still progressing!

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? Today I just breathed and told myself that nothing I learned today would change what was true. Sometimes my biggest fear is hearing the bad news.

peachy13

How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) - pretty good. Cramping has mostly stopped but now I'm feeling waves of nausea and heavy fatigue. Breast soreness and white discharge has been pretty consistent. 

EDD? How far along are you? I think I'm about 6 weeks, with an EDD of 12/5/17.

How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Good. A lot more calm than with my first pregnancy (the miscarriage one). Just overall feeling calmer and trying not to let stress and worry get the best of me like last time.

When is your next appointment? TOMORROW ahhh

GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? Getting into a good book that I've already before.. just dive right into that and my brain will relax. I did this for like 2 months before my wedding.

justsuzie

@NME44 the tingling breasts were my first symptom too. That went away a few days into 4 weeks and then lightning bolts!  Don't be worried if the breast soreness suddenly stops. It's not bad news, totally normal. I wish I had known this because my soreness went away and I thought the worst and everything was fine. 

@flowerpower5838 Good luck with the betas. That's the first boost of confidence and encouragement I got with this pg. fx for great numbers. 

@dragonette505 I've also had back to back losses with no successful pregnancies. Our time is due! My appointments send me into a panic and I literally almost pass out. Everyone thinks having access to early ultrasounds is awesome. For me, they bring dread!

@peachy13 we are due date buddies! Hope we can stay on this journey together. Good luck at our apt tomorrow. Is it an early US? Maybe see
a hb?! Fx for a great apt  

Orlaa

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
Still waiting to feel some symptoms. I sometimes get some mild cramps that only last a few minutes, but since they feel like period cramps it's not exactly reassuring. 

3. EDD? How far along are you?
I think I'm due December 15th or 16th. 4 weeks 4 days. 

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
I was feeling great until my ultrasound  this morning showed nothing. But I know it's still early so I'll wait until I get my beta results tomorrow. 

5. When is your next appointment? 
Getting blood drawn tomorrow then back to the hospital on Friday to show the results and do another ultrasound. 

6. Rants/raves/whatever 
Just wish I could fast forward to the second trimester in June. 

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising?
Well I spend all day on on Google trying to find people in the same situation as me who've had a positive outcome. Not the best way to take your mind off things but it does give me hope.

Duckybears

Hi! I'm a STM+ with two boys. I have had 3 first trimester MCs and 2 chemical pregnancies. 

EDD is currently 12/16 so I'm 4.5 weeks along.

Today i am feeling positive and hopeful. The "today I am pregnant" mantra is helping. Also, I took the last of my home pregnancy tests today and the line is still dark! Yay! I feel like I am past the chemical pregnancy hurdle since when that has happened in the past, the lines were always light and continued to fade.

My next appt is actually a phone appointment to discuss the pregnancy etc. I'm with a new doctor this time so I'm interested to see how they do things. (That is two weeks from today.) 

Thankfully no rants at the moment.

I'm keeping calm by focusing on the positive, praying and remaining hopeful. I already have a secret Pinterest board full of Christmas Baby things now. Lol

justsuzie

Afm

ectopic 9/16 cp 2/17 and a possible cp right before the ectopic. I had 2 squintera that never got darker. 

 All my symptoms went away and I freaked out only to be scolded by my dr. She says they will come and go. I also had some spotting which was checked out and here was no signs of anything wrong.  The breast soreness came back. Woo hoo!  I feel myself up all day long lol. 

Im due 12/5/17 it will be the best early xmas present ever  
 

I feel pretty good good after my appointment yesterday. I was 5 weeks and 6 days and we saw the gestational and yolk sac. I would have liked to see more but I've learned not to compare my progress to others. I'm hoping to see the heartbeat next. 

Im struggling with anxiety before all my appointments. I try to set a positive intention like. Everything will be okay. I have no power out of the news I will receive only how I react to it. I think I've found some comfort in knowing that if something does go wrong in the first few weeks  it is most likely due to chromosomal abnormalities. It's morbid but for some reason seems better than "bad luck"

rainbowdashh

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I'm starting to feel nauseous which is both reassuring and annoying. Other than that, I'm just so damn tired.

3. EDD? How far along are you? I'm 4w5d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I'm okay today. The anxiety comes and goes. I'm mostly worrying about the testing I'll have to do in the coming months.

5. When is your next appointment? I go tomorrow for my intake appt. hopefully I'll find out more about when I'll see a genetic counselor.

6. Rants/raves/whatever I'm really missing my sweet boy today. 20 days with him just wasn't enough.

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? I try to distract myself. I'll play candy crush or something mindless until I feel better.

justsuzie

@rainbowdashh so sorry about how you're feeling.  I hope the genetic counseling has a positive outcome. 

dragonette505

@justsuzie I was almost mad that they had me come in at 5 weeks! lol.... I've never had an ultrasound before 6 weeks so it was so terrified this morning. I told my husband exactly what you said that each appointment was basically terror and anxiety. Sending you hugs and sloooow breathing when is your next appointment?

rainbowdashh

@justsuzie thank you. We have a 25% chance of this baby having the condition too. But knowing ahead of time is going to be a huge help. I'm just super nervous to have an amnio!

peachy13

@justsuzie thanks and same to you! I am hoping for a heartbeat!

Taggarab

1) I am 32 and DH is 35. We have a 3 year old son. January 2016 I had an ectopic pregnancy resulting in emergency surgery when my tube ruptured. I was honestly beginning to wonder if I was able to get pregnant anymore after that trauma.

2) I have been feeling pretty nauseous all day. Also have a lot of soreness in the boob area.  

3)  I am 6 weeks + 1 day. EDD 12/5/17

4) I am nervous, but probably not as much as I would be if I wasn't having strong symptoms. I keep telling myself that feeling so bad is probably a good sign of my hormones rising like they should. I was not sick this early with my son, but was sick for a long time with him.

5) I go in tomorrow for my confirmation scan. I so pray that baby is where he/she should be and there are no issues. 

6) No real rants right now, but hoping I can eat more than carbs soon. Hah. I was focusing on working out and losing some weight when I got pregnant so my healthy eating has come to a halt.

7) I find myself doing mindless things to take my mind off of it or taking a nap. I've been trying to keep up with my workout schedule, but that has been hard lately. 

justsuzie

@dragonette505 I go in Monday afternoon. Being "advanced maternal age" makes me nervous about another loss and having time to try again.  I like what you said on another thread about just being happy that you were pregnant.  I am trying to live day-by-day like that too. 

@Taggarab  FX for you for tomorrow's apt.  I hope you get some good news.  

moonlady-2

1. Just found out this morning- still haven't even told DH, as he is at work! I'm 31 and I'm a kindergarten teacher. This will be our first. TW lost previous pregnancy at 11 weeks./TW Trying to stay calm and optimistic and wondering when/how I should tell DH.

2. Boobs are a little sore and I'm a little bit achey down there. I have had a feeling I was pregnant for 5 days now. But totally thought I was crazy!

3. I am only 3 weeks so still SUPER early. It's going to be a long 1st trimester.

4. Feeling like I shouldn't get too excited

5. My first appointment is next week 4/20

6. I'm so happy that I'm on spring break right now!

7. I use an app called Calm. It's free but I liked it so much that I paid for the full version. It helps me a lot when I'm feeling stressed/worried. It's basically breathing/mindfulness. I would totally recommend you all to try the free version and see if it helps at all.

justsuzie

@moonlady-2  Congrats.  We briefly overlapped on the TTCAL board I think. Welcome.

dragonette505

@justsuzie I'm probably one of the oldest ladies on here, so trust me I know that fear! I will be rooting for you on Monday! Keep us posted!
moonlady-2 Lol I think I use about 3 apps for meditation and relaxation...even a soothing sounds app for going to sleep!
Taggarab  Been meaning to ask folks what they are doing for workouts. Right now I am just walking on the treadmill (keeping things simple) because I'm an infertility patient, so my clinic likes for you to not exercise very much in the first weeks (in fact, no exercise in the tww). Last week (week 4) I kept getting dizzy and crampy on the treadmill so I laid off till this week. I'm less dizzy (and today no cramps after treadmill) but felt like I needed to go to bed afterwards... hows it going for you?

missbmama

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
Nausea has hit full force. I'm in a pretty constant state of feeling ick.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

LMP says 6w2d but our dating ultrasound showed a gestation sac and yolk sac that were still too small to measure

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

I got a call from my midwife today. She told me everything looked great on the ultrasound but my dates aren't lining up with the growth so I go in for my first HCG draw tomorrow. I'm pretty anxious. Im not sure how I'll be able to handle another loss so close to everything that happened to me in January. It's nerve wracking.

5. When is your next appointment? 
If my HCG looks like it's doubling I'll be having another ultrasound on the 24th and my next midwife appointment will be May 8th. 

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

I'm pregnant... why can't I just enjoy this? Why does it always have to be this nail biting, tear jerking time. I wish there just could have been a measurable heartbeat. 

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising?
Im a Christian so I do a lot of praying. I also talk with my mom. She can be a huge pain in the butt but when it comes to encouraging words she's the best.

dragonette505

missbmama        so sorry you are feeling this stress! Was this a natural pregnancy or fertility treatments? If it was natural maybe you ovulated later than expected?  

justsuzie

@dragonette505 So my dr said that I can work out as hard as I want because there is no correlation between physical activity and miscarriage this early on. BUT she also said that my stress and anxiety about thinking I am going to cause some problem is the real barrier and to do just as much as I feel comfortable with.  I have been doing a lot of walking outside.  I plan to amp it up a little bit once I am a bit further on.  I've had some brown spotting so that makes me uneasy and I don't want to see anymore because of working out. 

dragonette505

@justsuzie I'm used to being in the gym at least 5 times a week. I also dance which I know will have to be curtailed for now (tango so can be dangerous). I feel like I would be more anxious if I couldn't do anything. I'm still not supposed to be "working out" but they said walking is fine. I do agree that if you might be anxious about the effects then you have the right plan.... wait till baby is firmly settled in (and spotting recedes) and then amp it up. Honestly, we should probably just enjoy sitting back and being preggo!

cenzosmomma

1. I'm 31yo... 2nd pregnancy, 1st one ended in m/c at 10 weeks I'm december

2. I don't have any symptoms yet, wishing I could feel some, to make it feel more real!

3. EDD is 12/18/17 making me 4 weeks, 3 days

4. I'm very anxious, because of my previous m/c... trying to just breathe and take it day by day

5. I don't have an appointment scheduled, yet... got my BFP today, making the phone call to the Dr. tomorrow!

7. Taking walks with music helps calm me

justsuzie

@kdestito  That's right, one day at a time.

pandawares

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating). My name is Amanda. I'm a 25-year-old SAHM. I have a DS who is 2 years old. My last 2 cycles were CPs.
2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? The cramping that scared the heck out of me last week is long gone. I have intermittent nausea, which I had maybe two or three times with DS. I had to stop sniffing air fresheners in the store today, and air fresheners are my favorite thing ever. Plenty of mood swings, and I really want sparkling pink lemonade, which I don't think is actually a thing.
3. EDD? How far along are you? EDD based on O is 12/18 ... 5 days after my birthday. I'm 4+2 today.
4. How are you feeling (anxiety-wise)? I'm not particularly anxious about this pregnancy being viable (although I have started dreading going to the bathroom because I am afraid I'm going to see blood), but my anxiety in general is awful. It's so hard to get anything done.
5. When is your next appointment? The OB I'd chosen is taking some time off, so I decided to go with an entirely different clinic. They don't schedule your first prenatal visit until 6-10 weeks, so my first appointment will be somewhere around 5/8 at 8 weeks. They only do testing/ultrasounds as necessary, so I won't see the wee beb until the anatomy scan, which is going to drive me insane.
6. Rants/raves/whatever. I made up a game called to-do list bingo and played it today. Much work was done, despite the anxiety.
7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? I escape from reality via television/books or give in to my OCD, which involves a long soak in the tub (usually while watching SVU), exfoliating, and shaving.

missbmama

@dragonette505 it was a natural conception and I know it was a later ovulation. I think my mind just now instantly goes to the worst case scenario and I start freaking out. I've calmed somewhat now lol. My best friend is an ultrasound tech and actually has done both of my boys 20 weeks scans. I talked with her today and she helped me relax a bit. its so nice to be able to come here and vent my worries. Thanks ladies

thatlauragirl

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
Tired, a little nauseous and some slight cramping

3. EDD? How far along are you?

5w3d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

Still high anxiety. One of the rough things about late losses is you aren't anywhere close to relaxing. I need to get through my NIPT and pass 15wks before I'll feel like I can breathe again.

5. When is your next appointment? 

Ultrasound and OB appointment next Thursday.

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

I've got nothing!

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising?
I'm also a big fan of the Calm app. I also pray and try to be mindful of triggers that may set off an anxiety attack.

babypi

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) sore breasts, painful nipples, decreasing milk supply, fatigue. 

3. EDD? How far along are you? 6 weeks by O date today, 5+3 by LMP

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise). I'm trying to enjoy every day that I'm pregnant and not worry about the 1st ultrasound yet. Its tough though, since I also had tons of symptoms with my MMC. 

5. When is your next appointment? May 1st

6. Rave: We finally have internet hooked up at the new house! 3 weeks without TV and internet is brutal!

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising? I just try to remind myself that I'm pregnant today and that worrying about the future won't change how much it hurts if the worst happens, but will cause me pain right now. 

pandawares

I downloaded Calm. Wasn't expecting it to make noise with my phone on silent. Had to exit real quick so DS didn't wake up XD

I dreamed last night that I miscarried. Not the best way to start the day, but I'm just trying to repeat "I'm pregnant right now" and rejoice in each discomfort.

ETA: Grammar.

NME44

pandawares said:

I downloaded Calm. Wasn't expecting it to make noise with my phone on silent. Had to exit real quick so DS didn't wake up XD

I dreamed last night that I miscarried. Not the best way to start the day, but I'm just trying to repeat "I'm pregnant right now" and rejoice in each discomfort.

ETA: Grammar.

I had a dream that I had a chemical pregnancy. Woke up and POAS. Danged pregnancy dreams.

rainbowdashh

@pandawares, I'm sorry. Those dreams suck. I had a dream I was bleeding and started panicking and woke myself up. Not even safe from worry in our dreams.

NME44

Update: my OB called in my progesterone! It's a huge weight off my shoulders to get on it. It may or may not have anything to do with what happened, but it sure does my peace of mind a ton of good!

moonlady-2

I had a dream 3 days before I found out that I had a baby but (weirdly) I was a surrogate so I didn't get to keep it. It was super graphic and sad. I woke up basically crying. Plays into the whole fear of loss thing-  I HAD the baby but didn't get to take it home. Ugh, I want some fun baby dreams.

lavashiner

1. Tell us about yourself (if you're first participating)

I'm 36 and this is my 6th pregnancy, 2nd child!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Tired, mild nausea, sore breasts

3. EDD? How far along are you?

5w5d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

Worried despite a good appointment yesterday. 

5. When is your next appointment? 

May 5! I can barely wait!!!

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

Really wish it was rational and feasible to have an US everyday. 

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising

I use affirmations to remind myself that I am healthy and the baby is developing and today I am pregnant!

pandawares

That whole "probability of not miscarrying" thing has me rolling an imaginary die every time I sit down to pee. Sigh.

justsuzie

That "probability of miscarriage" does not seem to be helping me at all.  Technically I am 6 weeks 4 days but I haven't heard a HB yet. I will feel better about those statistics after my viability scan on Thursday where I WILL hear a HB dammit!  I know that it's suppose to make us feel good, but it actually made me feel even more uneasy because I already rolled the bad luck dice and had a cornual ectopic which is less than a .01 percent chance.  I'm just trying to feel optimistic because I feel like I had my bad luck and I already was that small percent that things turned out bad.  Hoping the same goes for ALL of us PGAL ladies. 

grochril

Hey everyone!  Jumping in on this check in a little late.. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
- sore breasts, fatigue, some mild pressure/cramping and a few times where I felt queasy but nothing consistent.

3. EDD? How far along are you?

- Dec. 6th- 6w4d

4. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

-off and on anxious.  I feel my boobs constantly and have gotten used to that pressure on my right side of my uterus, so when I don't feel something I start to think something is wrong. Absolutely crazy. 

5. When is your next appointment? 

- 4/24-- next Monday 

6. Rants/raves/whatever 

- Traveling to Chicago for work this week, I'll be 7w.  The last time I was there I MC Shortly afterwards.  I'm just trying to stay calm and not think about it too much but it's hard!

7. GTKY: How do you find your "calm" when your anxiety is rising?
- taking deep breaths, trying to talk to myself like I'm trying to give advice to a friend- I find I'm less dramatic.  Just wish I could also enjoy this timeframe without worry! 

rainbowdashh

I keep looking at the statistics and wanting to be reassured, but my first loss keeps reminding me that I've already been in that teeny tiny percent.

I wish none of us were having these feelings.

justsuzie

@grochril Try not to let your upcoming trip stress you out. And you have your ob appointment when you return to reassure you that everything is okay. GL to you. 

NME44

@justsuzie @rainbowdashh, YES! That's totally me, too. I was just saying to my mom that it was meant to make everyone feel better, but I've already lost one when there was a less than 2% chance it would happen. I guess it is helping some people, but I'm not one of them.

ETA: @pandawares too