Proposed Changes to the Weekly Grad Thread

[Deleted User]

Neikoda said:

**Dirty lurker/someone who spent over a year on this board religiously**

Just wanted to throw my support behind @BitterBetty12 and her response. 


Oh and @antoto you really need to get off of your high horse. Don't attack her for giving an honest opinion just because you don't agree with it. And your TTA time for non medical reasons doesnt allow you to hold grudges against grads. We paid our dues and had our struggles. Undermining that and saying she shouldn't post here is ignorant. People come back and contribute because they care about the board even after leaving believe it or not. And someone may even want to come back and TTGP again at some point. Overall, you aren't an admin and this is a public platform that can only maintain so much structure. I suggest you realize that sooner than later and stop attempting to control every aspect of this board. 

@Neikoda Wow that came out of nowhere?  This isn't the pain Olympics so how bout we just stop that train in its tracks right this second.  My point was never that I was suffering longer or that no one else had ever suffered, but that I had been on this board for a long time and am familiar with its history and evolving personality.

I did not attack @bitterbetty12.  I was respectfully honest with my feelings but I didn't call her any names and I let it go when she graciously apologized and stepped back.  I wasn't looking for a fight and I don't know why on Earth you are.

She is technically allowed to post wherever she wants and do whatever she wants.  But I thought it was fair that she was aware of how that would make some of us hurt.  I am sure she appreciated that perspective.  I don't believe she was trying to hurt anyone and I think it helps when people point out what we ourselves may not see. 

I would also like to point out your hypocritical attack - you say she should be able to say and do whatever she wants, regardless of how she hurts people ... but that I should not have responded.  That's the kind of logic that isn't.

And to finish - I genuinely don't care what you suggest.  Bye.  

LadyMillil

@BitterBetty12  Came across as condescending to all us poor souls still struggling to get a BFP. I would give anything to have been a 1/1 or 2/2 BFP, and would be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous of those women, but those posters that were actively participating during their month or two here should be able to post in the grad thread and I will celebrate with them. Statistically 20-30% of couples are going to get KU quickly and while it makes me sad I'm one of the 1-2% that still don't have a BFP after 29 cycles, I can be happy for people I know that get quick BFPs. The problem is the posters that have made like 2 posts on TTGP and then want us to celebrate their BFP. It doesn't matter if it's a 1/1 orbsomeone that joined after 5 months TTC and got a BFP right away, if they've only posted a couple times on the board then why would any one care that they got a BFP because we don't know them. 

From om my over 2 years experience on TTGP (because apparently we are playing this game now) I know that not everyone that shouldn't be posting there is going to be deterred by the grad thread rules, and there was never really been a good way to get eliminate the drive by BFP posters

lund

@Neikoda whoa whoa whoa. I have no idea where you're getting the idea that @antoto is/was on a high horse, or that she's attempting to control every aspect of this board. I also didn't see where she "attacked" bitterbetty. If you have personal issues with her, whatevs, but the peoples' input that matter most in this poll are people who are currently actively TTGP or who are on our IF/Testing or Benched threads. If you come back to TTGP in the future, you can worry about who's "attempting to control every aspect of this board." Other active members can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that anyone resents antoto's opinion on this matter, nor feels like she's trying to be a TTGP overlord. 

Zoey1019

The drama always gets good when anus tart, oops I mean anu start comes out to play...

doula-mama

**Removed for TOU violation**

Neikoda

*Removed for TOU violation*

Zoey1019

@Neikoda

lund

*Removed for Quoting TOU Violation*

[Deleted User]

Edit:  @LuND I am like 97% sure we are the same person.

[Deleted User]

And also

LoveInDC

lund

@antoto

tripledaggerWed95976

Oh FFS.... can the current TTGPers ever propose changes without people who aren't even TTGP anymore coming out of the woodworks to complain about it???   

lund

Yeah I dunno what the deal is with all of these lurkers randomly coming out of the wood works, but methinks maybe something to do with LFAF vs TTGP-U?

[Deleted User]

Can I suggest that we turn this into a gif party?

Maybe with a theme of being sassy? Or maybe explosions/things on fire?

[Deleted User]

LuND said:

Yeah I dunno what the deal is with all of these lurkers randomly coming out of the wood works, but methinks maybe something to do with LFAF vs TTGP-U?

I can categorically say this has nothing at all to do with LFAF for once (lolll)  I think this is other groups.

LoveInDC

Just wanted to point out that this chart was also designed to help these other problems we've been having:

• People who were "pretty sure" they didn't count, but didn't know for sure so they posted anyway and got flamed.
• People who totally counted, but were scared out of posting by past flames so we had to chase them down to get them to post.
  
• People who were 90% sure they didn't count, moved on, but got offended when people didn't come after them to ask them back.
  

ksorrybye

Zoey1019

**Removed for TOU violation**

lund

[Deleted User]

@LuND That last one!!  I can't stop laughing!!  

lund

@antoto just found that gem. I dare say it'll now be making regular appearances on TB. 

BertieMeetsGertie

WTAF is happening here?! @neikoda I didn't have a beef with you in the past, but I just might now. I do my best here to 1) not start trouble and 2) not engage in these types of back and forth "disagreements." However, statements like that only create hostility in a place where we are looking for encouragement, camaraderie, and comfort (and by that I don't mean unicorns and rainbows). I love when our grads come back to support us and answer questions, but there might be times when their feedback doesn't mean as much as those of us who are still here. #sorrynotsorry

@antoto

tamalahoops

I don't give an f about what long gone grads think about how we organize the board now and in the future....
 (Edited to remove my awesome gif)

[Deleted User]

@BertieMeetsGertie


@tamalahoops I love you and I do not want you to get a warning so even though I LOVE your gif and your post is so on point I would suggest deleting just the gif because it's warnable.

breezybee

**Removed for TOU violation**

babymish

@Neikoda it would be nice if this could be put down as you having a bad day - but this isn't the first time the C word has been banded about. Classy as always.

Zoey1019

@babymish - yaaasss girl, preach!

AlohaKumu

Jeez, talk about shady people coming out of the woodwork.



I didn't get to see all of the deleted shenanigans that were written to @antoto and @LuND, but there is a big difference between engaging in reasoned conversation and flat-out attacking wonderful and supportive board members. I love the flow chart, although I know it won't prevent all the drive-by announcements and people who flat out won't read. (And yes, it does hurt when people get KU without a second thought when some of us struggle tremendously.) I am genuinely happy for the ladies I get to know who get their BFPs, but this is not a place for people to do a "humble-brag" about how glorious they are when we don't even know them. Go on FB for that and sashay away.

BitterBetty12

Ugh. You guys. Literally what I posted was my own independent opinion. It has nothing to do with anyone else or any other groups. Especially because I'm not a part of LFAF and TTGPU doesn't even exist. If we're going to play the blame game let's blame the person who actually posted, me. Not an entire group of people who all have independent thoughts and actions. I'm an adult. I know my opinion isn't appreciated by the majority. I also don't really care at this point because as usual,  people have decided to find the worst intentions in something that honestly and genuinely had the best intentions. If you can read my original post and find judgement, malice, and condescension then I applaud you for having a ridiculously negative world view. But that's the chance you take when you post on the internet. 

Edit: spelling. 

lund

@BitterBetty12 *shrugs* My comment regarding LFAF or TTGPU wasn't directed at you. It was just a theory as to why things escalated so quickly when there didn't seem to be a reason. You were reasonable and civil. At the end of this, I have no ill feelings toward you - I don't think your behavior has been out of line at all. 

ETA aside from those who have LFAF siggies, etc. I have no idea who's in those groups, so when I start seeing random screen names that I don't recognize and people slinging insults I wonder if they're from a private group and fighting a battle that the rest of us know nothing about.  

[Deleted User]

@BitterBetty12 for what it's worth I don't think your opinion represents any group as a whole on here and I appreciated your initial response to me.  I think the reason why people go "Groups?  Is this a group thing?"  Is that people we don't recognize randomly show up to defend people and it's logical to assume they are in a private group together - especially if they were in a private group together in the past. *shrug* just like I said it wasn't an LFAF thing, just let people know it's not a group thing and they move on.

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