November 2016 Moms

April venting/FFC/WTF

think we need an April thread for our complaints and vents :)

Re: April venting/FFC/WTF

  • I don't know what to call this but when I bring ODD to swim class we pass the infant class where you have to be at least 6 months. I'm excited for the next session because it times perfectly - ODD will be old enough to be in a class without me and I can keep going with DS. But as I looked at these tiny babies I realized they're older than DS but he is twice the size of some of them, which brings me to my ridiculous feelings moment... we totally skipped the little baby stage with this LO and he's totally going to fall into the "higher expectations because you're bigger than everyone else" category.  :/
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
  • My child will not sleep anywhere but on my chest right now and I'm a belly sleeper. Sometimes I can sleep on my side but I hate being on my back... It's going to be a long night. Like I'm not already sleep deprived right?
  • Loading the player...
  • S took amazing naps yesterday, 2-1.5 hrs and 1-45 min. She's never napped that well. Well I'm exhausted today so I figured we'd lay together and of course she wakes up in 30 mins just as I'm falling asleep. I should've left well enough alone and put her to sleep by herself.  It's odd because for some reason she doesn't sleep well with me anymore whereas she only could sleep in my arms the first couple months. 
  • My LO does not want to nurse. He keeps pulling off, then gets mad, hits me in the face etc. lots of fun. I've resorted to bottle a few times now just to make sure he eats. I think he's doing it when he's tired so he's fighting sleep plus fighting eating but ugh this sucks 
  • A friend brought her super snotty kids to our house and now everyone has the nasty cold. Including the 5 month old. Prior to the cold baby S must've been going through a growth spurt or teething because for two weeks now I'm up every F-Ing hour during the night. Every. Hour. My husband works nights so then I'm up every morning at 8am with our oldest and have to keep the kids quiet while he sleeps. I wish I could get a nice nap. Even that doesn't work because the baby screams her head off so my husband puts her down and I can hear her. He lets her scream and cry for long periods of time. I'm so exhausted. 
  • I think we'll be in the same boat @SandNStarsNJ with LO being so tall over here. People always think he's older than he is. 
  • @sandnstarsnj same here! I'm constantly getting surprise when I tell people he is only 4 months. We also just started swimming! It's funny though because it's basically just bobbing around in the water with them. But I love it regardless ;)
  • I need somewhere to vent so this is it. I've mentioned before that my mom, who has early onset Alzheimer's, lives with us. She's gone seriously downhill since A was born. She can hardly move, needs to wear diapers and is generally zoned out al the time. Before, she was aggressive and nasty but now, it's like she's physically incapable of it anymore.
     I'm exhausted today, I'm having season allergies for the past few days, I've been trying to clean the house and get ready for our trip to visit my husband's family this weekend. This morning, my husband starts throwing out passive aggressive remarks, in front of my mom, how about how bad the house smells. Yes, I get it, I should have bathed her but wtf am I supposed to do? I'm trying to feed A, get her ready for daycare, feed my mom, the dog and get ready for work. I'm tired, I already feel like a shitty mom and a shitty daughter, I really don't need the additional reminder from my husband. He can't dress A so it's not like he can take over anything I do in the mornings. So offer to help, get your ass up earlier or stfu.
  • @RhodaMorgenstern I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are not a shitty mother or daughter, you are doing the best you can. H's grandmother has Alzheimer and it is getting pretty bad. She used to be so sweet and now is getting more mean and nasty. The hard part is she wants it to be a secret and doesn't want to go into a home (everyone knows, but she doesn't know everyone knows). It has been so hard for H's grandpa to be her caregiver and the family is trying our best to help out without making her upset. I couldn't even imagine how difficult it is for you to be a caregiver, a mom, and work on top of all that.
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

  • @RhodaMorgenstern that sounds so tough, vent away. 

    Why cant H dress her? Are there any tasks you could "assign" him that would help? My H has had lots of issues and therefore can't/doesn't do any of the care but I was able to get him on bottle duty in the evenings which helps a little. 
  • @RhodaMorgenstern so sorry, that sounds like a whole lot to deal with! I commend you, I'm trying to hold it together without all the extra! Vent here anytime. 
  • Thanks, everyone, it felt good to get it out. @kvruns he panics when he dresses her. A gets startled when her eyes are covered and starts flailing her arms. My husband starts to panic and it turns into a CF. So I generally do it to avoid the stress of him freaking and her screaming.
  • gotcha @RhodaMorgenstern my LO also doesn't like having his onesies pulled over his head and often throws a fit. On those days we stick with sleepers lol
  • Holy S word LO has a really strong grip and keeps pinching the crap out of my skin. Like seriously, dude. That really hurts! 
  • desoky01 said:
    Holy S word LO has a really strong grip and keeps pinching the crap out of my skin. Like seriously, dude. That really hurts! 
    Same here. I think S can pinch harder than me. And she's always pinching my face and neck. Ouch!!
  • desoky01 said:
    Holy S word LO has a really strong grip and keeps pinching the crap out of my skin. Like seriously, dude. That really hurts! 
    Same here. I think S can pinch harder than me. And she's always pinching my face and neck. Ouch!!
    yep same here. And he likes to smack me in the face if he's tired when eating
  • lcchristensenlcchristensen member
    edited April 2017
    RhodaMorgenstern , If the onesie has tabs on the shoulder, pull it up from the feet. My daughter isn't a fan of clothes going over the head either.  The neck may get a little stretched out but if it's cotton, then it'll go back.  It's worth it to have a less-stressful clothing change.
  • @RhodaMorgenstern you are so strong for doing what you are. I can't say I would be able to give care to my mom and baby while working and trying to keep a healthy relationship and keep myself sane. You are a superhero. 
  • desoky01 said:
    Holy S word LO has a really strong grip and keeps pinching the crap out of my skin. Like seriously, dude. That really hurts! 
    Yes! He pinches my boob when he eats now and I'm praying it's just a phase???
  • @rhodamorgenstern That's a lot on your plate. You're one strong mom and daughter! 
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
  • WTF DH. Just WTF. 
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
  • I can only imagine so many scenarios DH could do. Hope the stress level is close to normal by now. @SandNStarsNJ
  • Yes B please wake up at 530 on the day I'm working from home and you could sleep in instead of me having to wake you for daycare at 645
  • Please Come home and decide to get drunk H because you know how much I love it when you do that. And now I get to walk on egg shells so as not to start a fight. 
  • Ugh @kvruns I hear ya! I don't drink.. and my husband can have a few beers and be okay but if he has more than that or has any hard liquor he is a pain in my ass and anything I say starts a fight.
  • @leighy his drinking is a big issue and I noticed when I got home from walking with baby he had a big Coke glass (on top of beer he already had) which means he mixed hard stuff which he rarely does but it means he will be extra crappy. Right now he's cussing out the computer. Makes me very uncomfortable. 
  • As predicted he threw a fit at the computer and LO woke up. f him. 
  • @kvruns That is so frustrating. I'm sorry your going through that. 
  • Sorry @kvruns. I hate when H drinks too much over here too. Hope it gets better soon! 
  • DH had to leave the hospital because SS2 had a music program tonight for school. I got a text when it was over saying that he was going to bed. He was supposed to be bringing some stuff back up here for me tonight! I told him not to worry about it because he has to get up at 5am to be at work by 6 but I'm seriously pissed. He completely forgot until I reminded him. I didn't need anything that is really vital to have today but he said he was coming back up. I don't have a vehicle here and I don't want to leave V alone anyways so I'm just kinda screwed for getting anything for myself.

    I hate feeling so helpless. I can't do anything to help V. I can't even feed him right now. They have an NG tube in him and are giving him my milk that way but I'm not pumping enough to keep up (probably because stress and the fact that he wasn't nursing very much Monday or Tuesday before we came to the hospital) so I had to have my mom bring in a couple bags of my frozen stash from her house. He's already used one bag of that and the other two are thawing. I have maybe 5oz of fresh in the fridge but I'm only pumping about 2-3oz each time which is about half what I normally get. I'm pumping right now and it looks like I'm barely going to have 2oz this time. This really fucking sucks and it looks like we are going to be here at least until Saturday. I just want to take my little man home now!
  • @kvruns I'm sorry! Ugh. Men. I'm that jerk wife who doesn't really let alcohol in the house on a regular basis (because of how he acts when he drinks it). I don't want the kids around it. In the past I have caught him hiding some in his music room and it's always a huge fight but he never wants to see where I'm coming from. He apologizes shortly after but it leaves such a sour taste in my mouth!

    @tigerfish227 I'm thinking about you momma. I'm so sorry for your little guy and I can't imagine now upsetting and frustrating it is to be in your shoes! You're nicer than me though. I would have told my husband to get his ass up and come bring me my stuff. I hope your supply starts to pick back up but you're probably right that all the stress you're under is affecting it. Hope little man is better soon!! ♡
  • Hugs @tigerfish227 that's so rough

    @leighry oh trust me I've said none and he kept it up til I went on vacation back in Feb/March and he got his taste back. Then he started doing it tho usually not at home. I even brought it up in therapy that anytime he drinks I get anxious now since I never know how he will be and he of course got pissy saying he should be able to have a couple beers, that I don't want him to have fun blah blah. I've said repeatedly if he could stick to a couple that's fine but when "a couple" is 4 16oz cans and then usually you're wanting more that's not ok since by that amount you are affected and acting differently even if it doesn't mean you're being s jerk. I don't want LO around it, when he can't handle the crying when sober of course I don't want him drinking. Nor do I want LO to hear him getting pissy and cussing and yelling and banging on things bc something isn't working and it is a minor problem he's blowing out of proportion bc he is drinking. I refuse to have my LO around that bc at some point he will end up being scared of his dad 
  • @tigerfish227 so sorry you're dealing with that. Poor babe. 

    Im on the fighting with the drunk husband train. Our friends left super late last night and he decided 4 am he wanted to have sex. I was so tired so I said no. Tomorrow. 
    All hell broke lose. He told me he despises Me and resents me and we need to see a sex counsellor and a real counsellor because we have issues. He said if we don't go see someone about sex he's going to divorce me. And he ended up sleeping in the spare room. 
    Lovely way to fall asleep while already upset that M isn't here and missing him. Then H does that. 

  • Omg @kristah2 what an ass. I bet you didn't sleep a wink which makes it worse. Have you talked today? We are big silent treatment people here unfortunately 
  • leighryleighry member
    edited April 2017
    @kvruns I always get told that I never want him to have fun either when I try to limit alcohol. I used to let it hurt my feelings and let him keep drinking but not since the kids. It's also embarrassing for me when we are at a party or wedding and he is excessively drunk and other people make comments. I hate it. He tells me to stop trying to be his mom. Then don't be a brat!

    @kristah2 we argue about sex (or lack there of) a fair amount. But I'm the same way. I'm not in the mood when I'm finally getting a little sleep and he is bothering me at 2am.. that or, if he has already been kind of an ass that day... doesn't really make me feel like sleeping with him. He tries to play the guilt cards... "you don't find me attractive anymore. You don't love me. You think I'm gross. I just miss you " blah blah blah. He hasn't talked about divorce over it.. But when he is really mad and we are arguing he will keep saying "I'm sick of this. I'm so done with this." And I just yawn at him.. I get the stressors of having 4 kids and us both working opposite schedules.. But don't threaten me with leaving.

    I'm sorry you ladies are in the same boat as me, but it's nice not to be alone..
  • @leighry I hate that we all are going through this type of stuff but it is nice to know we are not alone as crappy as it is. 
  • Omg @leighry that is awful! 
  • @kvruns we usually are too but today he was decent. I woke him up at 11 to ask him if he wanted to come get M with me and he said yes. I went to get ready and he came in and apologized which was nice for a change. 

    @leighry I don't get why they threaten with leaving??! Like grow up. It's sex. I get that it's important in a relationship but it's not the only thing in the world. 

    Wives of sometimes crabby husbands unite!
  • I'm sorry all you ladies are getting such crap lately! I know a new baby (no matter how many there already are) takes a toll on all of us differently, but those are some shitty shakedowns. If it makes any of you feel normal or better about the sex thing, we haven't had any since DS was born and not for any other reason than we're exhausted and not really on the same sleep schedule. 
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
  • jsmaijsmai member
    We've only had time and energy once since DD was born.  I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with all that on top of the day to day mom stresses. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards