FFFC

DuchessOfCambridge

cmessamore said:

My FFFC is that I despise getting pregnancy, birthing, or parenting advice from people who aren't parents and I have no problem telling people that when they offer unsolicited advice. And no, having pets is not the same. Babysitting is not the same. Having siblings is not the same. If you haven't done it, don't try to lecture about it. 

*praise hands emoji* Can't WAIT for all my non-parent-or-pregnant friends to tell me their opinions/tips and judge my parenting.

ArtificialRed

I want to have some sort of "little brother or little sister?" party for DS where he gets to open the box and the balloons fly out. He will freaking love that! I might ask DS what color we should have for each, but only if I think I can do it in a way that he won't find out about the party and/or pester me to death. But it's kind of a way to side step the blue for boy/pink for girl mindset with someone who's pretty impressionable. Although he has a trans classmate who switched pronouns during the year, so hopefully he's way past stereotyping at this point lol

zigzag8412

cmessamore Oh. My. Stars!  My boss' daughter (who is all of a college freshman) came in my office earlier and lectured me on where I need to get my kid in day care and whatnot.  I would have shut her down except my boss was standing right there for the whole 20 minute encounter.  (I'm thinking to myself, "wouldn't you rather I be working, but no!  She listened attentively to her child who has no children tell me how to take care of mine.) I was basically just dying inside thinking "oh sweetie, thank you for your day-care-working-experience knowledge but for the love of sanity if you don't shut up soon I actually *am* going to lose it."  Am I completely insane that I got so frustrated at a 18/19 year old for telling me where to put my kid in daycare?  Also- not exactly advertising this yet, but DH and I are actually hoping to go to one income and let me stay at home, so....

cmessamore

@zigzag8412 wait till that day you give your notice, then let her have it! Hahaha

DuchessOfCambridge

@zigzag8412 why would you be annoyed at advice from a teenager? Seems unreasonable of you to me. Sidenote: so jealous you can do one income. We're discussing that as an option if I am truly miserable not being with LO but DH doesn't love the idea. He's the main contributor but my portion is still a significant amount. At my old job I definitely could have justified it because day care would have cost more than or equal to my salary after taxes.

zigzag8412

@DuchessOfCambridge Ok, ok... I'll stop aw-ing.  It's just, in a perfect world, I imagine myself more mature than letting someone nearly ten years my junior get under my skin...
Not 100% on on the logistics yet, we'd just really love to.  We switched my direct deposit to our savings to see what we can do but the balance of not paying for day care but having to pay for insurance and about 1000 other moving parts is super stressful so I'm doing the incredibly mature thing of making it future-me's problem and just hoping it works out for now.  On paper it works some ways and not others, it's just how much we're willing to strap down.  We're the same as far as him being the main contributor but us still using mine.
Edited because autocorrect

DuchessOfCambridge

@zigzag8412 just for clarification, I was being sarcastic In my head I would have been like that's nice, I also worked at a daycare in college, now please shut up.

zigzag8412

@DuchessOfCambridge oh no! You're fine! I meant that silly/sarcastic. I was being a little ridiculous. No personal fouls. 

cmessamore

As I sit here in my LLR leggings, drinking an iced coffee, feeding my baby a bottle of formula, getting ready to put him to bed for the night so I can go binge watch terrible TV shows and snuggle on my sofa with my "fur babies", while eating junkfood and drinking a soda, I have realized that I'm one big unpopular opinion and I'm okay with it!!!! Flame away!! Lol

BayCamp

@cmessamore

LadyBugMe101

@jess0211 I can't stop thinking about it grr
@ebelknap it has definitely been a while since I had been in such awkward situation.

In general to everyone talking about pink/blue, glitter or guns, superheroes and princesses. I feel I will be pretty open to whatever my children enjoy. My nieces are in competitive cheer and we always get asked the question what if DS wants to cheer and how would we feel. My DH is awesome his response is always 'he's my son and if he happens to want to cheer then I hope he's the best one out there' they get surprised because he's a sports nut and he tells them cheer is a sport... he's had several arguments with randoms over this. 

Tourmalily

I hate when people act possessive of someone else's baby or pregnancy. I have a friend who had a baby a few years ago and someone (her sister in law, I think) left like a billion comments on every post calling the baby "her" chunky monkey (also a term I despise) and how much auntie loves him followed by a million kiss emojis. Similarly, grandparents to be who tell pregnant women "that's MY grandbaby in there!" 

Doesn't anyone have boundaries anymore?? 

jess0211

@Tourmalily this is going to be my biggest peeve, I can name at least 3 friends who will do this plus my mom and my aunt.  Ugh one reason I am glad tbis is still mostly our secret. 

elsieisamoocow

@Tourmalily my MIL does this when I'm pregnant and to DS. It makes me ragey, but she also makes me ragey just talking normally so... yeah. Anyway. 

pawcall

emucoleman said:

DuchessOfCambridge said:

I think pink for boys is totally fine! TBH I probably won't dress my son in a lot of pink because I personally love when little boys are dressed like tiny grown ups (maybe another FFFC right there haha) but if we were out and he wanted a pink shirt or a tutu or a tea set I'd be totally fine with it! That mommy and me tap class sounds really really cute and I would definitely do that with my child regardless of gender.

TL;DR: my point is I don't get why people get so worked up one way or the other. Once the child is old enough to have opinions, just go with it. The only thing I feel really strongly about is making sure they're exposed to lots of options in terms of career toys. I want them to always feel like it's normal to be a firefighter/doctor/hair dresser/cop/etc.

Oh my goodness, boys dressed in tiny little tuxes?? I love it. There's no reason not to indulge ourselves when they're too little to care...  

Totally agree about the career options. I don't care if my daughter loves princesses, as long as she knows she can have any career she wants (as long as she works for it). 

My son wanted to be Bruce Wayne for "when I grow up day"  I flipping LOVE dressing boys!

JDW0325

@pawcall
That is AMAZING!!!