FFFC

ugoglencoco

Let those confessions fly, ladies!

*****These confessions are in no way, shape, or form guaranteed to be flame free*****

ugoglencoco

I LOVE Harry Styles new song. Like totally blown away. And you can definitely make fun of me for that, I've got tough skin. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@ugoglencoco I love Niall Horan's "This Town" so no judgement here. AND I LIKE ONE DIRECTION, OKAY??

ugoglencoco

So do I @DuchessOfCambridge, I try to blame my extensive 1D library on my kids but its really me. Lol

ElizabethSchuyler

Juuuust leaving this here. 

DuchessOfCambridge

I really don't like the off the shoulder trend right now. I think it looks odd and uncomfortable. If you make it too hard for me to wear a bra, I'm not wearing that shirt. 

Roliepoliecoley4

I don't understand people who blame pregnancy for everything. I don't lose my temper and constantly blame the baby. I don't use the baby as an excuse constantly to get people to do what I want. (Once in a while, maybe)

 I know hormones are no joke, and I definitely have them, but I don't lose my mind constantly and then apologize and blame baby after. I bite my tongue and think twice before I speak. It's the same as before baby. 

ElizabethSchuyler

Roliepoliecoley4 said:

I don't understand people who blame pregnancy for everything. I don't lose my temper and constantly blame the baby. I don't use the baby as an excuse constantly to get people to do what I want. (Once in a while, maybe)

 I know hormones are no joke, and I definitely have them, but I don't lose my mind constantly and then apologize and blame baby after. I bite my tongue and think twice before I speak. It's the same as before baby. 

Do you have a specific person in mind who does something like this - uses pregnancy to get what they want? Pregnancy isn't an excuse to treat people like crap, but it can definitely be an excuse to get the meal I want for dinner. I think pregnancy is different for everyone anyway. One might be able to run a marathon and another can't seem to figure out patience.  

Roliepoliecoley4

@ElizabethSchuyler getting a meal you want is different, IMO. I'm nauseous and vomiting, if something sounds good, I'm eating it haha I mean more people who act like a-holes and lose their filter, and just laugh it off and say pregnancy makes me lose my filter. No. 

It it makes me cringe every time someone posts about yelling at their DH over something stupid and then feeling bad and blaming baby. 

megankth

@Roliepoliecoley4 I have to admit I couldn't keep my cool at the Wal-Mart Pharmacy when a woman was yelling at the young pharmacist for waiting on me first. She literally interrupted us to let the pharmacist very loudly know that she thought she should have been waited on first. I don't know if it was the hormones or the fact that I can't stand when customers treat service workers like crap (I've been in the service oriented industry for 12 years), but I turned to her and said "don't yell at her"! Normally I would keep my mouth shut and maybe just have given her an exaggerated eye roll, but this time I could just not help myself.

Eta because I cannot figure out how to reply to someone without fully typing out the name. I though you could simply push reply to someone's comment? But that didn't work.

ArtificialRed

@ugoglencoco @DuchessOfCambridge I LOVE 1D. I also love This Town and Just Hold On. I'm undecided about Sign of the Times, but in the end I'll probably decide I love that too.

Louis is actually on my boy name short list. It generally fits with DS's name and also has the "e" sound at the end that we seem so inclined to include in our nicknames. 

ElizabethSchuyler

Roliepoliecoley4 said:

@ElizabethSchuyler getting a meal you want is different, IMO. I'm nauseous and vomiting, if something sounds good, I'm eating it haha I mean more people who act like a-holes and lose their filter, and just laugh it off and say pregnancy makes me lose my filter. No. 

It it makes me cringe every time someone posts about yelling at their DH over something stupid and then feeling bad and blaming baby. 

Pregnancy can make women act differently and without a doubt I've lost my patience more in the last week at home and at work. It's not an excuse to treat people like crap, but I recognize when it's a problem in my life and try to work on it. 

Also, that's why I never post in any good or bad DH threads. I may get mad and be completely wrong, but that's between us and we'll work on it. He may do something out of line but it isn't for anyone else to judge my relationship and what I should do. He may get me my favorite sandwich on a bad day, again, my business. 

ArtificialRed

@ElizabethSchuyler I never post negatively about DH either. I don't discuss it with anyone but my therapist, actually. I would be devastated if he was complaining to his friends about something I did, only fair to return the favor. It was something we talked about during marriage prep. It's kind of a better or for worse thing, in my head. 

ElizabethSchuyler

@ArtificialRed I won't do good or bad. I want to get to know you ladies but my marriage is not up for discussion. I know I've discussed how hard marriage is when you bring a baby in, but never specifics and that's something he'd agree with 100%.

BayCamp

I went ape shit on a friend this morning when she snapchatted a picture of her husband walking their dog through the grocery store. She said "if anyone asks I'll say she's a service dog, but I know they can't legally ask" Her dog needs a muzzle lead because it lunges at other dogs, and she's a pitbull (I love pitbulls, not bashing the breed) So not only is she endangering ACTUAL service dogs but she's reinforcing stereotypes about that breed having irresponsible owners. 

so my FFFC: if you try to pass your dog off as a service dog when it's not I will not only judge the hell out of you but I'll speak up about it. It's an abuse of the ADA and makes things so much more difficult for those that actually go through the extremely strenuous proper training and get the correct paperwork. 

Might have been more of a bitchfest, but I feel better for having vented lol she got me heated this morning. 

ElizabethSchuyler

BayCamp said:

I went ape shit on a friend this morning when she snapchatted a picture of her husband walking their dog through the grocery store. She said "if anyone asks I'll say she's a service dog, but I know they can't legally ask" Her dog needs a muzzle lead because it lunges at other dogs, and she's a pitbull (I love pitbulls, not bashing the breed) So not only is she endangering ACTUAL service dogs but she's reinforcing stereotypes about that breed having irresponsible owners. 

so my FFFC: if you try to pass your dog off as a service dog when it's not I will not only judge the hell out of you but I'll speak up about it. It's an abuse of the ADA and makes things so much more difficult for those that actually go through the extremely strenuous proper training and get the correct paperwork. 

Might have been more of a bitchfest, but I feel better for having vented lol she got me heated this morning. 

Why did her dog need to go to the grocery store? 

She has the terrible FFFC and we have the flames for her. 

BayCamp

@ElizabethSchuyler because her husband is an idiot. Seriously. There were 2 adults, 1 could have stayed in the car with the dog. They also took her to an outdoor mall, which is nbd except that they walked her right through the stores. She's a sweetheart to people but I watched her lunge at an actual vest wearing service dog. I can't imagine the thought process in walking her right through the damn produce department. 

ElizabethSchuyler

I feel like I never took my dog anywhere growing up so why would I take one to run errands with? Is there not a proper place for the dog at their home while they go grocery shopping? 

BayCamp

I think they are trying to socialize her but are going about it wrong. I used to take my dogs places prior to having DS, but all of them are dog friendly (dog parks, places with dog friendly patio dining, etc) I'd never force them on to the public because, as well behaved as they are they are not "invisible" like a properly trained service dog. 

I get all in my feels about this though. My family used to train police dogs and I have a good friend who runs a guide dog training program so I see how much real WORK goes in to it. These aren't family pets, they are dogs with a job. 

:::steps off my soapbox::: lol 

elsieisamoocow

Roliepoliecoley4 said:

I don't understand people who blame pregnancy for everything. I don't lose my temper and constantly blame the baby. I don't use the baby as an excuse constantly to get people to do what I want. (Once in a while, maybe)

 I know hormones are no joke, and I definitely have them, but I don't lose my mind constantly and then apologize and blame baby after. I bite my tongue and think twice before I speak. It's the same as before baby. 

I get what you're saying, but pregnancy affects everyone differently. In my first pregnancy, and in this pregnancy, one of my first symptoms was that my temper is significantly shortened. It's most apparent to me while driving. Of course, I have some restraint to hold back and not bitch out at people who don't deserve it, but I definitely have been flipping people off while driving when that's not something I normally do. Pregnancy rage really is a thing for some people. In my second pregnancy, I never had an issue with it and was pretty calm and collected the whole time. Different pregnancies, different people, different hormones. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@elsieisamoocow I have a temper to begin with and it is definitely shortened. Even if I'm able to control it, I notice a real difference in how much shorter my fuse is. I almost think in some instances it's in preparation for motherhood where you'll have to protect your child. If someone says something rude about my pregnancy, I now shut them down because I get so angry whereas if people said things about, say, my wedding, it pissed me off but I let it slide. (Someone literally told me my wedding was inconvenient and stressful for them because they had to buy gifts and stuff. GTFO)

ETA: Another FFFC. I don't think animals belong in grocery stores. That's not sanitary. I know they're not rolling around in the produce, but still, don't bring your pet into the grocery store.

LadyBugMe101

I am not a confrontational person at all and not sure if this goes here but I feel like crap for it. I was at a home improvement store buying stuff my sister desperately needed for a move. The line was long I was third in line and could not hear what the customer and the cashier were talking about but they kept at it despite the now 10+ customers in line. She was ringing her up sooo slow. I got a call to tell me the moving truck was there where was I so I hung up and made eye contact with the cashier and politely said 'I'm sorry but can you please speed up the process there are so many of us waiting on this one open register' the customer looked at me and yelled at me 'I'm sorry but I just had a death in the family' I said 'I'm sorry about that but maybe the Lowe's cashier is not the place to vent' - I guess please don't tell the cashier your life story while others are waiting. I felt terrible but someone had to say something. I cried on the way to my sisters because I felt bad. I felt like a terrible human for the next few hours.

theearlymajority

@ElizabethSchuyler @ArtificialRed  I totally get not wanting to discuss your relationship publically, but also the Why I'm Rolling my Eyes at my SO thread is totally tame. I don't think anyone has gone beyond lovingly poking fun at their SO. I wouldn't personally go beyond that either. 

@BayCamp That is so irritating. Aside from the larger point about that being potentially dangerous, irresponsible and undermining to real service dogs---do they just think that rules don't apply to them? I would love to bring my dog everywhere with me but it's not appropriate, so I don't. If I saw them in my grocery store I'd definitely give them some disapproving side eye. 

My FFFC is that I'm a terrible texter. It's not uncommon for me to not respond in a timely manner. 

ElizabethSchuyler

@ebelknap That's great for those who do join and I'm sure most of the responses are made with good intentions. I just choose to not participate for reasons I've already stated. 

DuchessOfCambridge

I don't like when people get too caught up in gender roles in either direction. If my daughter wants to only be a pretty princess, I'd be fine with that and if she wanted to only play with trucks or a mix of both, I'd think that was great too. I would never push trucks or GI Joe figurines on her if she had no interest, and I'd never tell her she could only play with "girl" toys. Ditto for a son. Kids like what they like, why do we have to get all aggressive and make statements about what they play with?

BayCamp

@DuchessOfCambridge I totally agree with that. Someone asked DS if he wanted a brother or a sister and I realized I've never taught him what a boy/girl was. Just had never came up. Granted he's only 2.5 but he plays with the toys he likes, watches the shows he likes and that's it. All my friends have little girls so he wears princess dresses with them and all that. I give DH credit for also not caring even though he's a super in to sports macho dude

theearlymajority

@DuchessOfCambridge I completely agree. I've seen lots of gender reveal parties with taglines like "Footballs or Tutus" and "Guns or Glitter" and personally this turns me off. The gender reveal aspect of it I get and like (I'm finding out gender) but not the gender conforming undertones. 

jess0211

@LadyBugMe101 So I  may get flamed for this but I wonder if she really had a death in the family bc quite honestly why would she be engaging a random cashier in convo about this? I feel like she just said that to make you feel sh*tty. Maybe I just assume the worst of people, but I know people who would do this.  Either way you had no way of knowing. I would have felt awful too and probably would have cried right there.  But try not to beat yourself up!  the fact you felt bad tells me you'rea good person.

theearlymajority

@LadyBugMe101  Aw! That's just bad luck and an awkward situation. I mean how often does somebody discuss something so personal and tragic with their cashier. You couldn't have seen that coming. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@ebelknap I'm not into those this or that parties either. Frankly, none of my children are playing football because it's too dangerous and they can all do ballet until it's time for pointe shoes if they want haha. I don't think there's anything wrong with blue for boys and pink for girls either, until people get weird about it and say it MUST be that way or MUST NOT be done that way. I'm planning on having a mostly neutral nursery but touches of blush if it's a girl or dusty blue if it's a boy. I'm pretty girly so if I have a girl I'll totally dress her in the cutest little girl clothes until she has opinions and then it's her show. I just don't understand why people get so mad.

emucoleman

@LadyBugMe101 I know they were having a hard time but I feel like it was kind of rude for them to say that when you were being pretty polite and saying something that was completely normal. I understand why they might have been slow in the first place, but they shouldn't have talked that way to you when there was no way you could have known. I'm sorry that happened. 

@DuchessOfCambridge I am completely amazed sometimes at how entrenched people really are in completely silly gender stereotypes, and it has become more clear since I had my daughter. One time I was at the doctor's office with my daughter and as we were leaving the receptionist was digging around for ages looking for a sticker for her. Finally she handed me a sticker and said "sorry we don't have any girl stickers." Another time we were at a restaurant and asked for a booster seat and when the server brought one, she said "It's too bad we're all out of girl booster seats." Um, what is the difference?? My daughter is 2, not even old enough to realize she is a girl, much less old enough to want things pink or with princesses on them. And when she IS old enough, I don't want people assuming those are the things she likes without even asking her. She loves dolls, and she also adores toy cars. She likes hearts and pink and "sparklies," but she's also dying to play with her dad's tools. These are not "contradictions." She's not just a girl (although being a girl is AWESOME), she is a complex human being. 

Sorry for the rant. I have feelings. Haha. 

elsieisamoocow

@DuchessOfCambridge @emucoleman I'm on the opposite side of this - DS is 2 and I've put him in plenty of pink shirts, we have tea parties with his pink tea pot and purple tea cups, I'd buy him a princess castle if he wanted it, hell, I'd buy him a sparkly tutu if he really wanted it! I put him in mommy and me tap classes because he looooves to dance, and it was the only one available before age 2 (we started last fall). He loves it, and has been the only boy. None of my kids will play contact sports because I'm not dealing with those injuries, but they are more than welcome to express themselves in whatever way they want otherwise, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and makes them happy. 

emucoleman

@elsieisamoocow If I end up having any boys, I am hoping to put them in dance classes while they're still young! I think dance is awesome for all kids (as long as they like it, of course). My DH has teenage boy cousins who have been in dance classes all their lives and I think that has really contributed to their confidence. Plus, since they're usually the only boys there, they know how to talk to girls and don't have the fear that other teenage boys do! And I am with you on contact sports; the stories of life-changing injuries terrify me and there is no way any of my kids will play those sports while they're under my roof. 

elsieisamoocow

@emucoleman totally! I was a dancer until I was 21 and I was always shocked and annoyed at how few guys we had at our studio in my hometown. Not only do they get to hang out with hot girls in tight clothing all the time, they get permission to hold them close and touch them all over when doing partner work! Silly boys. 

DuchessOfCambridge

elsieisamoocow said:

@DuchessOfCambridge @emucoleman I'm on the opposite side of this - DS is 2 and I've put him in plenty of pink shirts, we have tea parties with his pink tea pot and purple tea cups, I'd buy him a princess castle if he wanted it, hell, I'd buy him a sparkly tutu if he really wanted it! I put him in mommy and me tap classes because he looooves to dance, and it was the only one available before age 2 (we started last fall). He loves it, and has been the only boy. None of my kids will play contact sports because I'm not dealing with those injuries, but they are more than welcome to express themselves in whatever way they want otherwise, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and makes them happy. 

I think pink for boys is totally fine! TBH I probably won't dress my son in a lot of pink because I personally love when little boys are dressed like tiny grown ups (maybe another FFFC right there haha) but if we were out and he wanted a pink shirt or a tutu or a tea set I'd be totally fine with it! That mommy and me tap class sounds really really cute and I would definitely do that with my child regardless of gender.

TL;DR: my point is I don't get why people get so worked up one way or the other. Once the child is old enough to have opinions, just go with it. The only thing I feel really strongly about is making sure they're exposed to lots of options in terms of career toys. I want them to always feel like it's normal to be a firefighter/doctor/hair dresser/cop/etc.

emucoleman

DuchessOfCambridge said:

I think pink for boys is totally fine! TBH I probably won't dress my son in a lot of pink because I personally love when little boys are dressed like tiny grown ups (maybe another FFFC right there haha) but if we were out and he wanted a pink shirt or a tutu or a tea set I'd be totally fine with it! That mommy and me tap class sounds really really cute and I would definitely do that with my child regardless of gender.

TL;DR: my point is I don't get why people get so worked up one way or the other. Once the child is old enough to have opinions, just go with it. The only thing I feel really strongly about is making sure they're exposed to lots of options in terms of career toys. I want them to always feel like it's normal to be a firefighter/doctor/hair dresser/cop/etc.

Oh my goodness, boys dressed in tiny little tuxes?? I love it. There's no reason not to indulge ourselves when they're too little to care...  

Totally agree about the career options. I don't care if my daughter loves princesses, as long as she knows she can have any career she wants (as long as she works for it). 

DuchessOfCambridge

RE: contact sports. We're allowing soccer because DH is obsessed and it's a sport we both can actually enjoy watching and he wants to coach. We both played soccer as kids too! But football or hockey? Over my dead body.

cmessamore

@DuchessOfCambridge I have always just let my kids like what they like, and it's worked out so far. I never pushed my step daughter to be "girly" and neither does her mom or my husband and I've never pushed my boys to be "boyish". But, I've also never pushed my boys to be girly or my stepdaughter to be boyish. The funny thing is, my step-daughter is totally a girly girl!! She does ballet, loves pink and purple, and prefers princess everything. She wanted to play baseball with the boys last year and of course we let her, and she hated it! She sat (yes sat) in the outfield and played with the grass. She's just not that girl and that's fine! Whereas my boys are totally boys! They all chose to play sports (some play baseball, soccer, tae kwon do, and football), play with nerf guns, and they all do archery. We have given all 5 of them the same life and the same options and they picked traditional gender roles. (Which is funny, because I have always been considered a "tom-boy" because I played in a boys and now men's ice hockey league.) 

cmessamore

My FFFC is that I despise getting pregnancy, birthing, or parenting advice from people who aren't parents and I have no problem telling people that when they offer unsolicited advice. And no, having pets is not the same. Babysitting is not the same. Having siblings is not the same. If you haven't done it, don't try to lecture about it. 

av2323

I think the infant outfits that say things like "Mom's the Boss" and "Handsome like Daddy" are lame.  I'm also not a fan of stuff on the butt once a kid is older than 6 months or so.  

BayCamp

DH is hell bent on DS at least trying different sports. I won't be upset at all if he's not a fan. But out of all of them I hope baseball/basketball sticks because football terrifies me. 

DS has a totally sports themed room with Shimmer and Shine sheets and makes me call him a powerful sorceress (like Zeta from the show) 

On the subject of boys in tuxedos: he's been asked to be a ring bearer next year and I can't freaking wait to see what they pick out for him to wear.