Ask a STM - week of 3/31

Ivorytower2

Questions?

Ivorytower2

When did you all start taking your newbies out of the house, and how to you keep them protected? I'm a huge germaphobe, but DD is 9 days old and I've already got bad cabin fever.

shines721

We brought my son out before 2 weeks I think. Most places didn't involve a lot of people. We went to church on Sunday when he was 19 days old.. I held him during service then put him right into his car seat when it was ending to avoid any unwanted touches. I also find having a blanket or car seat cover over helps. 

I think a lot has has to do with your comfort. This time around life just can't stop with another son already in the picture. 

Also, if you're nursing (not sure if you are) then I believe they have some of your immunity in the beginning.  

kjd291

Totally whatever you're comfortable with. No rules. Your baby-your comfortwbilitu level. Dd1 was a summer baby so we were out and about almost immediately for walks and such.  This time just because of cold and difficulty with two: I've only been out for a few errands and all our doctors appts.

If you're just worried about ppl--car seat cover/canopy up and blanket, or if baby is out of seat baby wearing are both good ways to keep ppl at arms reach. 

Cbeanz

Third baby was out on day 1. At 36 hours old we were at the park. I keep her in the ergo and car seat with the canopy up.

The only place I was nervous to take her was daycare. We waited 3 weeks and kept her covered.

Spartanrd4

I've taken baby out a few times (grocery store, for walks, lunch at a restaurant and my allergy shot appointment) but she never went out of the cat seat, had the canopy up and I covered the seat with a blanket. Shes 1 month old now so probably feel a little better about her going out, hopefully will get warmer outside too which will help.

Gators&BoSox

I think we took DD out the day after getting home. We were in desperate need of food lol. Like others have said, car seat and baby carrier helps keep all the old ladies away. I've never had anyone approach her, I also might be wearing a bitch face though when people get too close haha

motherofdragons-2

I took this LO out for the first time when she was 3 days old for a weight check and since then we've just been to the grocery store and to get lunch. As long as you're comfortable and have a good car seat cover to discourage germs/people touching, no time is too soon! 

disneybaby84

First outing pediatrician. Second outing 3 weeks at the park. 4 weeks Babies R Us.

ShannonJ96

What do you do when your baby keeps demanding more food when they can't possibly still be hungry? My son is three weeks old, formula fed, and eats about three ounces per feeding. As soon as the bottle is empty, he starts crying for more food. His pediatrician said that he shouldn't need this much food until he's 2-3 months old (though he's growing like a weed right now and I am inclined to disagree). He spits his pacifier right out if I give it to him rather than giving him more to eat. What should I do to calm him down when this happens?

datalover13

@ShannonJ96 in my experience, if they're not spitting it up, and they get really angry with the pacifier, they might really still be hungry. My DS is 5 weeks and eating 3.5 oz every 3 hours. Especially if he's growing, he'll be hungrier. 

shines721

@ShannonJ96 I asked my pedi today how much my son should take so I can introduce the bottle so I have a goal to pump towards. Anyways, he said about 4 oz.. he is 3 weeks, 3 days old. 

I don't have experience with formula feeding but maybe try a larger, but not drastically,  amount at one feed and see? 

Also, colic does develop around 3 weeks I think. Is it possible he has that? A friend just showed me an app called "sound sleeper" with different noises that can help soothe a colicky baby. Just a thought?? 

disneybaby84

When can a baby pet a pet and recognize that it is soft and furry?  

wintersong

disneybaby84 said:

When can a baby pet a pet and recognize that it is soft and furry?  

What do you mean?

disneybaby84

Like, that it is a pleasant experience to pet a soft animal. That baby recognizes textures.

wintersong

disneybaby84 said:

Like, that it is a pleasant experience to pet a soft animal. That baby recognizes textures.





Interesting.
My sondudnt start to seek out soft things until over a year. He just liked touching everything. I think touching animal fur as pleasant is subjective
 I don't actually enjoy the feeling of most dog fur myself. Dog head fur sure. Dog back hair no usually. 

datalover13

@disneybaby84 I don't know exactly when, but I know they make those sensory books that have different textures... we would read and make DS1 pet the different furs and stuff at a couple months old.

npaulie

Obviously, I realize it takes time, BUT, about how long did it take before your stomach started looking/feeling tighter again? Is it once you're allowed to restart exercise? I'm just finding it uncomfortable how loose everything feels there, like there's no support from the muscles. 

wintersong

@npaulie Well, I lost the extra pooch by 6 months from light exercise, but at least in my case it stayed sorry of flabby decking just because I had kind of droopy skin. I think it's realistic to expect that, even if that's not the case for you, your body won't ever look quote the same as before, even if you are totally fit, and that's okay.

kjd291

Non-helpful answer/I honestly don't remember the tummy timeline. Probably 2-3mo?  It did go back to very close to pre-baby for me though (id guess by 6mo??) other than the slightly noticeable stretch marks that faded.  
---we'll see how baby #2 tummy is as forgiving. 

motherofdragons-2

My stomach flattens down by 1-2weeks usually but losing the weight in my back and hips is impossible! >.< and my hips have gotten wider and pretty much stayed that way

datalover13

I'm similar to @motherofdragons-2 - my stomach flattened down pretty quick, but I'm holding a lot of weight in my hips and thighs that will stick around for awhile. That plus an extra tender c-section site this go round is making pants wearing difficult.

shines721

@datalover13 and @motherofdragons-2 ...Same here with the extra hip and thigh weight! 

@npaulie My stomach went pretty flat within a month or two with my first. I had to work at it to look more toned though ... which didn't happen until I had established a nap routine and him sleeping more so I actually had the time to do it. 

... I really don't think nursing is a weight dropper! I feel like my body just holds onto extra fat because it knows I might need it. It's my own personal theory that makes me feel better. 

sjohnston103

Moms that tore: how long did it take for your stitches to dissolve? I have a first degree tear and a second degree tear. My doctor told me it would be two weeks before the stitches dissolved, but I'm 3 weeks pp and they're still there. Just wondering how long it took other moms. 

marshmallowfarts

@npaulie my abdomen is permenantly separated from DS1. I have the saggy belly button. I lost all my baby weight fairly quickly though but my hips were permanently wider. This time around time will tell. Im thinking my hips got even wider with baby #2 at this point. My pants are all baggy in the legs but tight around my hips/pouch area. It's frustrating. 

disneybaby84

@sjohnston103 I had 2 hours of stitching after delivery. My doc said 2 months of healing, 6 weeks out, still feel it occasionally 

direwolfmini

Ok STMs anyone have an issue with their LOs having a flat head? My bigger twin has a flat spot on the side of his head. He favors one side, presumably from his position when I was pregnant. 

At his 2 month appointment this morning we were given a referral for physical therapy. The rationale is that if we work his neck muscles he'll stop favoring one side.

Have any other moms dealt with this? Did PT resolve, or did they need the helmet?

datalover13

@direwolfmini we don't have any flat spots, but A definitely favors looking one way, and the other side is very tight. We work on turning the other way during tummy time, and also he's seeing the chiropractor I saw when I was pregnant and that actually seems to be helping, too.

MyDG620

@direwolfmini DS had to have physical therapy and ended up needing a helmet. He started physical therapy at 12weeks old and got his helmet at 6months and wore it right up until his 1st Birthday. 

jomarma

When did you leave your LO for a longer stretch of time? We have tix to a baseball game an hour away and I'd like to go, but I'm worried about leaving my baby for the first time. He'll be 7 weeks old by then. He'd be with my mom. He's currently EBF, so I'd have to start giving him a bottle... help! 

Also, is it normal to resent your husband A LOT? He seems to be the target for my frustrations...

kjd291

@jomarma totally your call! If it was ME- I'd just bring baby! Newborns are great and easy at games.  Or-if you're planning on bottle feeding close to that time anyway just start practicing a couple weeks before to make sure you feel comfortable and know baby will take a bottle from your mom. 

And-Q2: YES. Haha. 

Burrberrymum

@jomarma I don't have experience myself but my sister's littlest one is EBF and she had tickets to a concert when he was 5 weeks. She made sure to pump enough the week leading up to the concert. It was an hour away and I watched him and gave him his first bottle.. she never tried beforehand,, everything went very well. Babies tend to take bottles better for someone that is not mom. That being said you know your baby best, and know your comfort levels. My LO is very colicky hers is very calm, had the roles been reversed she probably would have had a hard time. 

Gators&BoSox

@jomarma we are going to a game on the 13th of may so baby will be around 10 weeks. tried a bottle yesterday to start getting her used to it and see if she was picky about the brand. at 7 weeks LO will still probably be taking lots of naps so i wouldn't think it'd be a big deal. i say go for it as long as you're comfortable!

MyDG620

@jomarma We are planning on going to a baseball game in a couple weeks and LO will be 6weeks old. I am planning on wearing her. I don't foresee any problems but I can definitely let you know if something comes up!

disneybaby84

STMs, baby smiles plenty when husband is home from work, meanwhile I feel like I don't get sny smiles. What can I do? Does he not like me? Feeling like an insecure teenager.

shines721

@disneybaby84 ... Your little one doesn't love anyone else more than you. Period. Smiles are so limited in the beginning, but just wait, they'll become so common for both of you. 

disneybaby84

Ok I'm back  with more questions.   Yesterday, LO took only 30ish min naps during the day, but still ate and pooped like crazy.   Now he's taken a 45 min nap and a 1 hour nap so far today. Currently, not eating very seriously, he ate 1 oz, then played around with the bottle. Advice?

ShannonJ96

So I have to ask. How badly does having sex for the first time after having the baby hurt? I had a couple of small tears. I think they were second degree tears, but I don't quite remember. My postpartum checkup is coming up shortly, which means I should be given the all clear to start having sex again. Is it just uncomfortable or is it actually painful?

Ivorytower2

My LOs skin is really flaking off. Pedi said it was normal, and I've been limiting to two baths/week and using lots of lotion but it doesn't seem to be helping. Anyone using a great lotion or balm for dry baby skin?

kiyamurph

@Ivorytower2 I use coconut oil on baby after a bath. Fantastic moisturizer. 

@ShannonJ96 I think you'll get different answers, but personally sex was painful and uncomfortable the first time I had sex after my oldest. I had a second degree tear and waited until 3 months pp since I was sleep deprived and in no mood for sex. When we did the deed it was awful. My husband and I laughed about it afterwards because it was like we were a couple of virgins. We used a lot of lube and I was still uncomfortable. Sex didn't feel good again until 7 months pp. My husband and I have a healthy sex life, but he also knows better than to pressure me into sex if I'm not going be into it. My advice for first time post partum sex is to take it slow and use lots and lots of lube. 

kiyamurph

@disneybaby84 Sorry, my mom brain is making me not understand your question. What exactly are you asking advice for? Is your question about sleep or feeding?