The hardest part for me having a newborn was sleep deprivation (my son didn't sleep through the night for 8 1/2 months) and desperately wanting to breastfeed but having no support and it not working. To this day (my son is 3 1/2) I still have scab looking things on my nipples that my doctor thinks are callouses.
After giving birth I don't remember delivering the placenta or them cleaning the bed, it just happened. They moved me to my room in a wheelchair because I still couldn't feel my legs. They took my son to bathe him and then came back a few minutes later to tell me he had been moved to the NICU because he had an apnea bout and that was horrible because I couldn't get up to go see him. I can't remember if I showered later that day or the next morning but I know my mom helped me after she flew in.
1- Hardest part of having a newborn was being home the first couple of nights and adjusting to the different cries to determine what baby needs.
Also, making sure anyone who wants to visit is not sick and is up to date on vaccinations. How do you bring this up in conversation naturally?
2- with our daughter I was in labor for 12 hours and stuck at 4 for the longest time. They broke my water and within an hour I was at 10. I pushed for 2.5 hours and they gave me the option of a vacuum or c-section. We opted for the vacuum first. She was out in no time. As soon as she came out, they then had me push one more time for the after birth. Then while they were cleaning her up they stitched me up. Let me put the mesh panties on and then took me to a recovery room on another floor. After they brought me to the new room they told me I had to wait a couple more hours to take a shower because the epidural needed to get put of my system more. Once I was able to shower that gave daddy and baby time to bond.
1.The hardest thing for me was not having help. My (now ex) husband really didn't do much for us and I don't have family living in-state - so I was depressed and overwhelmed and ended up taking my 3 week old on a plane to visit my mom and grandparents.
Sleep deprivation is rough too, my son is 6 and still doesn't STTN. You do get used to it.
2. In my case, I held him briefly but he was having temperature regulation problems so he was taken to the nursery for a while. I used that time to clean myself up but I think because of the epidural and stitches I didn't shower properly until that night (he was born at 8:08am). They strongly encourage you to get up and moving ASAP. It was hard though, I was very emotional and sad - my baby was in the nursery without me, my husband had left the hospital (not a great situation, hence the "now ex"), so I was alone.
RE: the placenta - my epidural was still very much working, I didn't feel anything when they delivered it. I remember basically nothing between pulling him out and being stitched up.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
1. Hardest part: The physical weakness and the isolation. I couldn't stand up or walk further than a few steps for a long time (and this was after an "easy" "natural" labor and delivery). I had to pee if I walked more than the length of my house and my back hurt so badly (I had bad back labor). I needed a lot of help bc I had PP pre-eclampsia and can't tell if it was harder to be with someone in my space all the time or to be alone afterwards. Sleeplessness wasn't easy either.
2. I pushed out the baby and they wrapped her (I think?) and put her on my belly to let the cord stop pulsing (which my group and I think is important). That seemed to take forever and I kept asking for her and they had to remind me I had to wait. Then they took her and brought her back. Then I had to push out the placenta -- that really hurt. They inspected it. And then the sewing up process. There was a lot of sitting around in my own blood and I kept thinking they needed a hazmat team after all that. I was very tired and just wanted to sleep, but they don't let you do that--that doesn't seem to happen very much at all. I may have my order mixed up here...I was pretty out of it by the end. Our hospitals don't do nurseries anymore, so the baby is always with you unless you ask them so you can sleep, which was the only time I did, because they don't let you fall asleep with the baby.
Question for stm+, has anyone completed a Vbac? Details if you're comfortable. I really want to do this but the vbac board isn't very active and I don't know if my current obgyn even supports it yet.
I selfishly have two questions: 1) What was the hardest part about having a newborn in your opinion? 2) Kind of a gross question but what happens after you give birth? You have the baby, they let you see it, and then what? Do you stay in that bed with whatever came out of you? Do you get a shower? This is one of the most mysterious parts of birth to me.
1. Hardest part about a newborn for me was honestly adjusting to marriage... and doing housework when I was just so dang tired and all I wanted to do was snuggle a baby.... haha.
2. Mine is a little different, because my daughter came out blue. I held her for about 30 seconds before they whisked her away to the NICU to get her stabilized and transfer her to a larger hospital. I dont remember delivering the placenta, or getting stitched up, but thats probably because my legs were still numb from the Epidural. I remember the shower being one of the most embarrassing things ever, but the Nurse was so helpful. Some hospitals use different beds/rooms for delivery, but mine did not. They just clean everything up for you. Idk... somehow the magic happened and everything was such a whirlwind that I dont even remember a lot of it.
Same as @heatherdubrow. I could tell by 15 or 16 weeks, but no one else really could. It took to 24 or 26 weeks to actually have a pregnant looking bump.
Our PNP has gone through our three kids and now my best friend's new baby. The bassinet is great for the first few months. Her baby will be ready for the crib by the time we need it back.
As far as what happens after baby arrives: Our first delivery was completely different from the second and third. I delivered her and didn't get to hold her for over thirty minutes. The nurses had even left the room. My mother finally went and got her out so I could hold her (my Mom was an OB nurse and was like, you need to hold that baby lol). She got the side-eye, but she gave it right back lol. They moved me to another room and took her again. I barely got to hold her till we went home. It was strange. The other two we had at a rooming-in hospital. Sooo much better. I held them both with the cord still attached. Then the nurses told me to go ahead and nurse them. The boys were with me the entire time, minus weight and hearing checks. I would say, be your own advocate and speak up. Obviously if the baby is having trouble, then let them do their thing, but I'm a firm believer in the bonding that happens immediately after delivery.
Here's even more stuff to add to my already extensive post.... I absolutely second the adjustment phase between you and your SO. The exhaustion alone mad me snippy. I also put a lot of expectations on myself regarding house work and weight loss. I did not do that the second/third time around. Also, if you're going back to work try and enjoy being home instead of stressing about going back to work. I wasted so much time worrying about how I was going to do it. I probably suffered from mild PPD with my first as well. We were pretty alone and isolated from family. My Mom visiting/feeding me was honestly the one thing that pulled me through. Ask for help if you need it and accept help if it is offered. So so so sorry. I am full of unsolicited advice. I'm like the old aunt in the room lol.
I would get really bloated in the evenings and look pregnant starting around 22-24 weeks, but didn't look visibly pregnant in the mornings until after 30 weeks.... but I have a super long torso so plenty of room. Even at full term I looked like I could go another few months!
When did you start showing with your first pregnancy? I know every woman/body is different, just curious!
I am thin, but tall, so my belly never gets super huge, because there is so much room vertically for baby to move around in. I don't really remember with my first but I know it was somewhere after the 6-7 month mark. With my second, people I worked closely with until I was about 8 months pregnant. With my third I felt like a had a little pouch pretty early, but I think most people assumed I had put on a little weight. I don't think it was clearly a baby bump till around 6 months. I'm sure with this one being close together (and not exercising pretty much at all between babies) I'll probably look super pregnant in a couple of weeks! Hahaha
The hardest part of having a newborn for me was the sleep depravation. DS was in the NICU for 6.5 weeks before coming home, and because he was a preemie, he had to really learn how to eat, first from a bottle, so I was exclusively pumping for the first few weeks at home, which meant waking up every 3 hours to pump, and then feeding him either at the same time or right after. It sucked. So. Much. It was a thousand times easier when he was on the boob.
I had very unusual experiences with giving birth so I'll skip that question.
And with my first, I got a belly at about 13 weeks but actually looked pregnant to strangers around 20-22 weeks. With my second, my bump was about 4 weeks ahead of the first time and to me I looked pregnant at 9 weeks!
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
I don't 100% remember when I started showing but looking back at pictures i had a very small bump around 16 weeks and by 20 weeks I was noticeably pregnant. I remember my stomach still being flat at 12 weeks. This time my stomach at 5 weeks looks like it did around 16 weeks last time.
@heatherdubrow I am also jealous of these tall long torso ladies! Though I am a FTM I suspect due to my very petite nature I may show sooner than I plan to!
1) hardest part about a newborn? In addition to what everyone else has said, the realization that everything really has changed. I had heard that over and over, but I guess I didn't know what it really meant. For me, it was the thought that I can't just do whatever I want anymore. I knew that in theory, but the reality of it was very hard. It still is hard sometimes. There are some days when I just want to come home from work and sit for a while... we'll, it ain't gonna happen. It really doesn't help either that your hormones are going whackadoodle. Everything your feeling is magnified times ten. It was way worse than pregnancy hormones. 2) I am amazed that so many of y'all remember anything after birth! It's all a blur for me. We did the immediate skin to skin for an hour. I'm guessing they cleaned me up at that time. I had an epidural, so I didn't feel anything. Honestly, nothing existed but me and my baby.
The hardest part of having a newborn for me was the sleep depravation. DS was in the NICU for 6.5 weeks before coming home, and because he was a preemie, he had to really learn how to eat, first from a bottle, so I was exclusively pumping for the first few weeks at home, which meant waking up every 3 hours to pump, and then feeding him either at the same time or right after. It sucked. So. Much. It was a thousand times easier when he was on the boob.
This, I understand.
I would like to leave this here, not to scare anyone but in the event there are complications or your child has to be in the NICU for any amount of time I think this will be helpful.
My first went to the NICU after two days in the room with me. She developed a rash an although it turned out to be a reaction to the diapers, it was traumatic to have her taken like that. The separation was horrid and made all the sights and sounds of the NICU even more scary. She was probably the healthiest baby there which made it a little easier to bare.
My second went straight to NICU but was on room and and in a crib. It was not at all traumatic.
My 3rd came at 26 weeks and spent 3 months in thr NICU. Again, leaving him at the hospital upon my discharge was one of the worst days of my life. We lived 45 min from the hospital and I would lie awake at night knowing if he took a turn for the worst, we would most likely not make it make to the hospital before he was gone. Your body aches to be with your child, to hold him, to feed him, to do something! Its natural and you must be honest and work through this or depression can set in. Waking up every three hours to pump, again tring despretatly to keep your supply up that you might provide something to help your child was tough.
NICUs are wonderful places filled with the most amazing people you will ever meet! I am blessed to have experienced it all. I pray none of you have need for this post, but if you do please remember I am here to just listen or offer any advice I can!
@jess0211 I'm also concerned about PPD because sleep deprivation and life changes are two of my biggest anxiety triggers. I'm planning on having a discussion with my doctor about PPD and whether or not to stay on Zoloft through out the pregnancy tomorrow at my first appointment. She does not prescribe my anxiety medication (my PCP does) so she doesn't know much past my GAD diagnosis. Anyway, I figure that the more people who know to look out for symptoms, the better! I realize that I'm not a STM, but we've connected about our anxiety in the past and I just wanted to share my 2¢
Me: 32 H: 32 Married: October 2009 TTC#1: August 2016
@jess0211 - Two of my girlfriends had bad PPD/PPA with their first children. In both cases, their OBs prescribed them an antidepressant immediately after the birth of their second children and it made a huge difference for both. If you already have the concern going in and have a history, I think that's an option to discuss with your doctor too. No point in waiting until it's too late or already affecting you.
@JulesDP I've stayed on Zoloft throughout each of my pregnancies. It really is a case by case decision. Having struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my life, and knowing that symptoms would return the moment I stopped taking the SSRI, we chose to continue at a 25mg dose. It's been enough to completely control symptoms each time. Just sharing my experience because it's a very personal decision, but I was very very concerned about PPD due to my history, and I've managed to avoid it:)
@julesdp I really appreciate your openness to talk about these issues, I hope we can continue to do so! It's so helpful! We decided to wean me off my zoloft, it was my choice though, my doctor (pcp) was fine either way. However, I will be discussing with my ob next week because I want to know I have the option off starting again at any time.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience @MississippiCatfish! I'm on 25mg now (before I was pregnant I would double the dosage the week before and during my period because my anxiety always worsened during that time). Being that the dose is fairly low, I'd be comfortable going off completely or staying on. Thank you again for your input - it really eases my mind to hear stories of women who've stayed on their SSRIs through out pregnancy
Me: 32 H: 32 Married: October 2009 TTC#1: August 2016
@DuchessOfCambridge 1. Probably the lack of sleep. I basically slept in the recliner with my baby for the first week or two. Simply because I was breastfeeding and he was so cuddly that I wanted to. But getting up 5-6 times a night to feed was pretty hard. Eventually I adjusted, and I think your body just does what it has to. 2. After birth, they put him on my chest right away while they delivered my placenta. They cleaned him up while he was on my chest, then they did the apgar test and we nursed for the first time. I got stitched up while all this was happening. I had an epidural so I couldn't feel anything. We were in the same room as delivery for about an hour to do all of this, and then they tried to move me to my mother/baby room, but they tried to get me to walk and I kept passing out (blood loss did that) so eventually they let me take a wheelchair to the room. Once the epidural wore off I was in so much pain that I didn't move much from the bed for the first 24 hours or so. I did eat right away, and I took a shower after that. It really depends on how you feel afterwards as to what you do.
@BayCamp "birthing an octopus" is the best line ever.
It did not hurt to deliver the placenta. I remember my OB being elbow deep detaching it and cracking jokes about her taking me to dinner first. I like to make awkward situations even more awkward
@jess0211 we have a graco pack n play with a bassinet attachment that we used for my son the first 4 months. It was amazing because I nursed him, so I just had him next to the bed so I could pick him up without moving out of the bed to feed him. I highly recommend that! Pack n plays are the best!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience @MississippiCatfish! I'm on 25mg now (before I was pregnant I would double the dosage the week before and during my period because my anxiety always worsened during that time). Being that the dose is fairly low, I'd be comfortable going off completely or staying on. Thank you again for your input - it really eases my mind to hear stories of women who've stayed on their SSRIs through out pregnancy
Funny you should mention adjusting your dose - I'm the same way, especially since I've taken it for the better part of 15 years. I've become more alert to what my body needs, and my doc is great and always willing to work with me. I have actually been able to go down to 12.5 near end of 3rd trimester, if I remember right, and was okay with that dose at that point. My dad died by suicide during my last pregnancy, and we tried upping the dose as a preventative measure due to the stress, and I could immediately tell that 50 was too much - night sweats, shaky. It's all very interesting. Anyway, sounds like you and @jess0211 are both making great, informed decisions:)
Birthing the placenta was like this amazing relief! Just felt empty abd lighter once it was out. You have a few small contractions to get it out but i had no pain. Just relief.
1. I felt like one of the hardest adjustments with my daughter was the first week home. The first 3 days I Did. Not. Sleep. At all. I watched the bassinette all night and was up all day. My husband had a sort of intervention where he told me to take care of myself and I realized he was right. Your emotions and hormones are so all over the place that you'll feel blissful, terrified, incredibly sad, incapable, and competent all at once. Ask for help...take care of yourself.
2. Following the birth, my daughter was put on my chest (where she promptly pooped) and I delivered the placenta and was stitched up. We did skin to skin and she nursed. They took my daughter and I got up to pee and put on the lovely mesh undies. I was then Wheeled to the post partum room. Following the birth (which was at 11p) I was able to try to get some sleep while they did the tests etc on my daughter...the sleep was broken up by frequent visits from nurses who check on you/push on your belly/checked my stitches. I showered early the next morning and felt somewhat human. I only had limited visitors in the hospital which was amazing. I am not one of those people who needs a billion visitors at the hospital.
1) Nursing. I had been teased about the size of my breasts all through school and had considered a reduction for a long time but didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize nursing. Then I had my son and could not nurse. We limped along for 3 months with the help of lactation consultants and such, but ultimately it did not work out. I won't go too much into it, but I was really surprised that it didn't work out and it led to a lot of guilt initially(though I also had some PPD, so hard to separate what was what sometimes). Then, when I had my daughter and ended up nursing her for 18 months, I was surprised again at how hard it was even though it worked out. She wanted to nurse 24/7 and that was hard with a 14 month old toddler. Either way, harder than I expected though I have a ton of respect for for both paths now. Feed that baby however you can and go easy on yourself. Also, pumping sucks the big one.
2) I gave birth twice unmedicated. After my son, I could not deliver my placenta. I tried and tried and could not push anymore. They ended up having to give me pitocin to deliver it - they already had it set up just in case so apparently it's not totally unusual. Since I had torn, they had to give me shots to numb the area to give me stitches. That was...unpleasant considering the area was already in pain, but obviously better than feeling the stitches. I also did not know they would come in to press on my uterus to help it contract after the birth. Just ouch. With my son I also got the shakes afterwards, and was surprised though we had a doula and she stayed with us for quite a while afterward to help and explain what was going on.
We opt not to bathe for the first day or two so we just let them clean the baby up a little and then we do skin to skin. We do delayed cord clamping and in my hospital, the doctors come to the room to do all examinations during your stay so you are never apart from your baby. I don't think my daughter was apart from me the entire time we were in the hospital. My son was jaundiced and stayed for 5 days so it was a little bit of a different story there. Since I didn't have an epidural, I could get up and walk around and take a shower and such as soon as I felt able to. I found it hilarious that sometime in the hour after giving birth, they asked me to pee. I had pretty much just expelled everything in my body - it did not happen right away. But with each child I had to capture a certain amount of pee in a container to prove that I could and was hydrated enough. With my son, we let family come see us in the hospital and I found it overwhelming. With my daughter, I let MIL, my mom, and my BFF each come at different times for about 15 minutes and it was much better. This time we will probably just wait until we get home and let the hospital time be for us only.
1. I felt like one of the hardest adjustments with my daughter was the first week home. The first 3 days I Did. Not. Sleep. At all. I watched the bassinette all night and was up all day. My husband had a sort of intervention where he told me to take care of myself and I realized he was right. Your emotions and hormones are so all over the place that you'll feel blissful, terrified, incredibly sad, incapable, and competent all at once. Ask for help...take care of yourself.
Yes. This. It's human nature to want to care for this new little being 24/7 and never take your eyes off of them, but the best thing you can do, mentally and physically, is take care of yourself first. You can't pour from an empty cup. Self care is so important. Hopefully all of you, especially FTMs, will have supportive SOs who will hold baby while you take a shower. Or do the laundry for you. Or cook dinner. Letting them know now that you will need help sharing responsibilities and getting into a routine can help, so they're not caught off guard by you having an emotional breakdown due to lack of sleep and lack of showers (not speaking from personal experience or anything... )
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
I selfishly have two questions: 1) What was the hardest part about having a newborn in your opinion? 2) Kind of a gross question but what happens after you give birth? You have the baby, they let you see it, and then what? Do you stay in that bed with whatever came out of you? Do you get a shower? This is one of the most mysterious parts of birth to me.
1. Hardest part for me is that it sometimes feels like you have a baby constantly attached to you for the first several weeks. It can be exhausting but it's also such a special time of life. I wouldn't change a thing but it really did shock me the first time. It felt so strange to be away from him, even just to step in the shower. The emotional roller coaster of it all was tough for me to process. It's all normal but until things felt a bit more settled I was so out of my element (I like to know what's coming so I can fully prepare for it!). Turns out your instincts are pretty good if you can get out of your head enough to follow them. Baby cries, stick a boob in its mouth. Rock him, snuggle him, love him. Worry about schedules later.
2. With my first, I pushed baby out and they plopped him straight on my chest. We peeked to see it was a boy and after a few minutes DH cut the cord. They covered baby with blankets and a hat and he snuggled up and breastfed immediately while I held him skin to skin. It was a very pleasant distraction while birthing the placenta which was not comfortable. After about an hour (they had to stitch me up too), I handed baby to dad to do skin to skin while they helped me get up to try to pee (I found I couldn't go even though I really needed to. They ended up using a catheter on me). After a little bit they got me and baby into a wheelchair and took us out of the delivery room and into the recovery room where I ordered breakfast and had a nap. Eventually I showered and DH gave baby a bath. With my second, I delivered in a birth center, and it was pretty similar except we didn't transfer rooms. I breastfed baby, had some breakfast, showered and went home about 7 hours after delivery. It was perfect! It probably really depends on the type of birth you have. Post C-section probably looks different than the time after birth if you have an epidural or other drugs in your system, vs a birth without drugs.
I didn't feel the placenta at all. I think I was too tired to know or care at that point. I remember getting to shower pretty quickly...as soon as the epidural completely wore off. Honestly for me newborn was pretty easy (i know I'm in the minority and I'll probably pay for it with the 2nd) but we'd give a bottle of breast milk at night and she'd sleep forever..we actually had to wake her up to eat the first week bc she had jaundice and they wanted her eating every 4 hours. I had such horrible pregnancy insomnia that I slept more with a newborn than I did pregnant.
Any STMs use Hypnobabies? I've used it with my last two births, and it was soooo helpful. I'm hoping there will be a few of us so we can check in as birthing time approaches.
Re: FTM Questions for STMs Week of 3/26
After giving birth I don't remember delivering the placenta or them cleaning the bed, it just happened. They moved me to my room in a wheelchair because I still couldn't feel my legs. They took my son to bathe him and then came back a few minutes later to tell me he had been moved to the NICU because he had an apnea bout and that was horrible because I couldn't get up to go see him. I can't remember if I showered later that day or the next morning but I know my mom helped me after she flew in.
1- Hardest part of having a newborn was being home the first couple of nights and adjusting to the different cries to determine what baby needs.
Also, making sure anyone who wants to visit is not sick and is up to date on vaccinations. How do you bring this up in conversation naturally?
2- with our daughter I was in labor for 12 hours and stuck at 4 for the longest time. They broke my water and within an hour I was at 10. I pushed for 2.5 hours and they gave me the option of a vacuum or c-section. We opted for the vacuum first. She was out in no time. As soon as she came out, they then had me push one more time for the after birth. Then while they were cleaning her up they stitched me up. Let me put the mesh panties on and then took me to a recovery room on another floor. After they brought me to the new room they told me I had to wait a couple more hours to take a shower because the epidural needed to get put of my system more. Once I was able to shower that gave daddy and baby time to bond.
1.The hardest thing for me was not having help. My (now ex) husband really didn't do much for us and I don't have family living in-state - so I was depressed and overwhelmed and ended up taking my 3 week old on a plane to visit my mom and grandparents.
Sleep deprivation is rough too, my son is 6 and still doesn't STTN. You do get used to it.
2. In my case, I held him briefly but he was having temperature regulation problems so he was taken to the nursery for a while. I used that time to clean myself up but I think because of the epidural and stitches I didn't shower properly until that night (he was born at 8:08am). They strongly encourage you to get up and moving ASAP. It was hard though, I was very emotional and sad - my baby was in the nursery without me, my husband had left the hospital (not a great situation, hence the "now ex"), so I was alone.
RE: the placenta - my epidural was still very much working, I didn't feel anything when they delivered it. I remember basically nothing between pulling him out and being stitched up.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
2. I pushed out the baby and they wrapped her (I think?) and put her on my belly to let the cord stop pulsing (which my group and I think is important). That seemed to take forever and I kept asking for her and they had to remind me I had to wait. Then they took her and brought her back. Then I had to push out the placenta -- that really hurt. They inspected it. And then the sewing up process. There was a lot of sitting around in my own blood and I kept thinking they needed a hazmat team after all that. I was very tired and just wanted to sleep, but they don't let you do that--that doesn't seem to happen very much at all. I may have my order mixed up here...I was pretty out of it by the end. Our hospitals don't do nurseries anymore, so the baby is always with you unless you ask them so you can sleep, which was the only time I did, because they don't let you fall asleep with the baby.
Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.
DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!
Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!
2. Mine is a little different, because my daughter came out blue. I held her for about 30 seconds before they whisked her away to the NICU to get her stabilized and transfer her to a larger hospital.
I dont remember delivering the placenta, or getting stitched up, but thats probably because my legs were still numb from the Epidural. I remember the shower being one of the most embarrassing things ever, but the Nurse was so helpful.
Some hospitals use different beds/rooms for delivery, but mine did not. They just clean everything up for you. Idk... somehow the magic happened and everything was such a whirlwind that I dont even remember a lot of it.
My second pregnancy I was full on showing at 16 weeks
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
As far as what happens after baby arrives: Our first delivery was completely different from the second and third. I delivered her and didn't get to hold her for over thirty minutes. The nurses had even left the room. My mother finally went and got her out so I could hold her (my Mom was an OB nurse and was like, you need to hold that baby lol). She got the side-eye, but she gave it right back lol. They moved me to another room and took her again. I barely got to hold her till we went home. It was strange. The other two we had at a rooming-in hospital. Sooo much better. I held them both with the cord still attached. Then the nurses told me to go ahead and nurse them. The boys were with me the entire time, minus weight and hearing checks. I would say, be your own advocate and speak up. Obviously if the baby is having trouble, then let them do their thing, but I'm a firm believer in the bonding that happens immediately after delivery.
Here's even more stuff to add to my already extensive post.... I absolutely second the adjustment phase between you and your SO. The exhaustion alone mad me snippy. I also put a lot of expectations on myself regarding house work and weight loss. I did not do that the second/third time around. Also, if you're going back to work try and enjoy being home instead of stressing about going back to work. I wasted so much time worrying about how I was going to do it. I probably suffered from mild PPD with my first as well. We were pretty alone and isolated from family. My Mom visiting/feeding me was honestly the one thing that pulled me through. Ask for help if you need it and accept help if it is offered. So so so sorry. I am full of unsolicited advice. I'm like the old aunt in the room lol.
I had very unusual experiences with giving birth so I'll skip that question.
And with my first, I got a belly at about 13 weeks but actually looked pregnant to strangers around 20-22 weeks. With my second, my bump was about 4 weeks ahead of the first time and to me I looked pregnant at 9 weeks!
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
It really doesn't help either that your hormones are going whackadoodle. Everything your feeling is magnified times ten. It was way worse than pregnancy hormones.
2) I am amazed that so many of y'all remember anything after birth! It's all a blur for me. We did the immediate skin to skin for an hour. I'm guessing they cleaned me up at that time. I had an epidural, so I didn't feel anything. Honestly, nothing existed but me and my baby.
I would like to leave this here, not to scare anyone but in the event there are complications or your child has to be in the NICU for any amount of time I think this will be helpful.
My first went to the NICU after two days in the room with me. She developed a rash an although it turned out to be a reaction to the diapers, it was traumatic to have her taken like that. The separation was horrid and made all the sights and sounds of the NICU even more scary. She was probably the healthiest baby there which made it a little easier to bare.
My second went straight to NICU but was on room and and in a crib. It was not at all traumatic.
My 3rd came at 26 weeks and spent 3 months in thr NICU. Again, leaving him at the hospital upon my discharge was one of the worst days of my life. We lived 45 min from the hospital and I would lie awake at night knowing if he took a turn for the worst, we would most likely not make it make to the hospital before he was gone. Your body aches to be with your child, to hold him, to feed him, to do something! Its natural and you must be honest and work through this or depression can set in. Waking up every three hours to pump, again tring despretatly to keep your supply up that you might provide something to help your child was tough.
NICUs are wonderful places filled with the most amazing people you will ever meet! I am blessed to have experienced it all. I pray none of you have need for this post, but if you do please remember I am here to just listen or offer any advice I can!
Married: October 2009
TTC#1: August 2016
DD Born 10/20/17
Married: October 2009
TTC#1: August 2016
DD Born 10/20/17
1. Probably the lack of sleep. I basically slept in the recliner with my baby for the first week or two. Simply because I was breastfeeding and he was so cuddly that I wanted to. But getting up 5-6 times a night to feed was pretty hard. Eventually I adjusted, and I think your body just does what it has to.
2. After birth, they put him on my chest right away while they delivered my placenta. They cleaned him up while he was on my chest, then they did the apgar test and we nursed for the first time. I got stitched up while all this was happening. I had an epidural so I couldn't feel anything. We were in the same room as delivery for about an hour to do all of this, and then they tried to move me to my mother/baby room, but they tried to get me to walk and I kept passing out (blood loss did that) so eventually they let me take a wheelchair to the room. Once the epidural wore off I was in so much pain that I didn't move much from the bed for the first 24 hours or so. I did eat right away, and I took a shower after that. It really depends on how you feel afterwards as to what you do.
It did not hurt to deliver the placenta. I remember my OB being elbow deep detaching it and cracking jokes about her taking me to dinner first. I like to make awkward situations even more awkward
2. Following the birth, my daughter was put on my chest (where she promptly pooped) and I delivered the placenta and was stitched up. We did skin to skin and she nursed. They took my daughter and I got up to pee and put on the lovely mesh undies. I was then Wheeled to the post partum room. Following the birth (which was at 11p) I was able to try to get some sleep while they did the tests etc on my daughter...the sleep was broken up by frequent visits from nurses who check on you/push on your belly/checked my stitches.
I showered early the next morning and felt somewhat human. I only had limited visitors in the hospital which was amazing. I am not one of those people who needs a billion visitors at the hospital.
2) I gave birth twice unmedicated. After my son, I could not deliver my placenta. I tried and tried and could not push anymore. They ended up having to give me pitocin to deliver it - they already had it set up just in case so apparently it's not totally unusual. Since I had torn, they had to give me shots to numb the area to give me stitches. That was...unpleasant considering the area was already in pain, but obviously better than feeling the stitches. I also did not know they would come in to press on my uterus to help it contract after the birth. Just ouch. With my son I also got the shakes afterwards, and was surprised though we had a doula and she stayed with us for quite a while afterward to help and explain what was going on.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
2. With my first, I pushed baby out and they plopped him straight on my chest. We peeked to see it was a boy and after a few minutes DH cut the cord. They covered baby with blankets and a hat and he snuggled up and breastfed immediately while I held him skin to skin. It was a very pleasant distraction while birthing the placenta which was not comfortable. After about an hour (they had to stitch me up too), I handed baby to dad to do skin to skin while they helped me get up to try to pee (I found I couldn't go even though I really needed to. They ended up using a catheter on me). After a little bit they got me and baby into a wheelchair and took us out of the delivery room and into the recovery room where I ordered breakfast and had a nap. Eventually I showered and DH gave baby a bath.
With my second, I delivered in a birth center, and it was pretty similar except we didn't transfer rooms. I breastfed baby, had some breakfast, showered and went home about 7 hours after delivery. It was perfect! It probably really depends on the type of birth you have. Post C-section probably looks different than the time after birth if you have an epidural or other drugs in your system, vs a birth without drugs.
DS#2 3/15
Baby #3~