No one ever told me about emergency csections. I wish I knew I'd be brought into the OR assuming everything was going as planned except my doctor wasn't there yet, with hubby by my side- then to have about a minute to be shaved roughly, told I'll be given general anesthesia, accept the fact I'd be going under, all while hubby is being kicked out of the OR and watch him helplessly argue with the doctor because he expected to be with me. Emotional to say the least.
I had a planned csection because DS was breech, went into natural labor days before my scheduled date, it became an emergency when the doctor on call checked dilation, my water broke, I went from 6 to 10cm instantly and she felt his foot. So now, I of course understand why it was an emergency and they wanted to keep it calm, I just wish they told us right then and there what that meant for us and let us have those 5 mins to mentally prepare ourselves.
@julybaby17-2 I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I bled fairly heavily right after giving birth for at least a couple days. Peeing for the first time post partum was sort of the ancillary crime scene from labor. By the time I got home (after two days), I was still bleeding, but it wasn't as intense. But yikes I grew to hate the routine of peeing. In the hospital, I had some kind of ice block that sat in my mesh underwear, I placed tucks pads (witch hazel) on the block, and sprayed dermoblast on the whole thing. My routine stayed the same at home, minus the ice blocks. It hurt too much to wipe, so I used the peri bottle to squirt water and clean there. Take everything you can from the hospital! I'm planning on ordering another peri bottle so I can keep one in each bathroom. I honestly never thought my vag would feel the same, but I promise that it does.
ETA I had second degree tearing with a few stitches
A serious one but nobody ever told me how much I would WORRY and how they wouldn't actually ever stop. It truly is like having a piece of your heart outside of your body, as the saying goes.
Also nobody told me that my belly button would be forever changed lol.
No one told me that when you nurse your baby after birth, it contracts your uterus, which basically feels like labor all over again. It wasn't too bad with my first. It was WORSE THAN LABOR with my second. It only last the first two days, but it was awful.
No one ever told me that putting my shoes on every morning would become one of my least favorite parts of my day.
Amen. I'm so glad it's almost sandal weather. It's been hurting to bed over for a couple months now. Even before the bump got big. It's just uncomfortable and my belly doesn't bend like it used too.
A serious one but nobody ever told me how much I would WORRY and how they wouldn't actually ever stop. It truly is like having a piece of your heart outside of your body, as the saying goes.
Also nobody told me that my belly button would be forever changed lol.
No one told my husband he might cut the cord. They asked him and he was so confused that he went ahead and did it, and as I lay there I thought oh wow, he did not want to do this. Which was true. It totally freaked out DH. What a trooper.
Where is the dumb questions thread when you need it? STM's, how does the placenta delivery go? Do they wait until after you push the placenta out to have your baby do skin-to-skin and for you to breastfeed? My family wants to come to the hospital and wait for the baby to be born, but I have no clue how long I will want to have with my baby before I let my sisters and in-laws in...
@crzyforbabies We did skin to skin immediately after he was born and I delivered the placenta while he was on my chest. We told family that we wanted at least an hour with the baby before receiving visitors, but in hindsight it would have been nice to have more time. I think this time we'll wait at least 2 hours. It really is precious time with you, DH and baby that you will never ever have again-- no need to rush it!
No one ever told me how noisey newborns are when they sleep at night, I worried they weren't getting enough air and then when they would sleep without making noise I freaked out because they were quiet. Both are normal, both can happen within minutes of each other. Both will probably drive you insane.
The PP hairloss was terrifying. My entire hairline receeded like an inch and squared off at the temples. Mortifying.
I was mad that no one told me how hard breastfeeding was going to be or that despite doing everything right I could fail at it.
I wish I would have known that if the baby is up too high your water can continuously break for 5 hours straight (IV liquids). I was soaking through towels every few minutes.
Where is the dumb questions thread when you need it? STM's, how does the placenta delivery go? Do they wait until after you push the placenta out to have your baby do skin-to-skin and for you to breastfeed? My family wants to come to the hospital and wait for the baby to be born, but I have no clue how long I will want to have with my baby before I let my sisters and in-laws in...
I delivered it 2 contractions after DS so it was like 3 mins later.. by that time we snuggled for a second and then they were weighing him and cleaning him off anyways. Our families were in the waiting room so I felt too guilty to make them wait hours after he was born to let them in, it may have been a different situation if it were the middle of the night because I'm sure they'd just come back the next day. Nobody asked to hold him just being in there and seeing him was all the wanted! And getting the pictures they all took of me holding him 25 mins PP are priceless.
The bleeding is real and gave me a heart attack pretty much. I was the one babysitting my niece when I changed her, its very little blood but still .... I was alone at home at the time and messaged to ask if it was normal so they came rushing back. I was crying my eyes out by the time my sister and mum came back (half hour later) because I thought I had done something terrible to her and that was definitely the longest 30 mins of my life.
@lanie1000 - From what I remember, and its been a few years, it didn't start right away, maybe a week or more after delivery and lasted for at least a month or so. It felt like forever. Luckily I have a lot of hair, even if its not especially thick, and it was never really noticeable. But its seriously clumps just falling out as your run your hands through it. May be different for every mom, but I had the same experience after the birth of both of my DDs.
Pooping wasn't so bad for me! DD was born on a Sunday morning and I had big poo Monday night. We had just gotten back to our house and I went in the bathroom to pee and then thought OH MY GOD, THIS IS IT (cue horror movie soundtrack) and then honestly it was no big deal and my stitches were completely in tact. I think the fear and anticipation was the worst part for me.
Plenty of women have a less than positive experience but I just wanted to tell FTM's that it might not be so bad!
No one ever told me how different my schedule and routine would be. I think I assumed that after the first few weeks, we'd just incorporate DD into our "normal" life. I struggled a lot because I kept wanting things to go back to normal when we now had a new normal. I came to love and appreciate our new routine but I struggled a lot those first few months because it wasn't just DH and I anymore.
Going along with the crazy hormones with baby girls, DD's breasts were so swollen in the first week. Like, they looked like she had baby boob implants. I could only imagine how sore they were for her and was I so nervous she was in pain. She lactacted a little as well which was previously mentioned. DH lost his shit because I forgot to mention it to him...I was in the shower and he was screaming for me because he thought something was wrong with her.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@Dcwtada@notachanski@BabyBump2 thanks for explaining. As a FTM with a baby girl on the way I would have definitely panicked!!
ETA: I love this thread. Thank you so much to all the STMs for sharing. Even if some of these are downright scary.
For all the PP hair loss mamas, do you remember when it started to come back? Or how long the hair loss continues?
Mine started at 3 months on the dot and was continuously falling out for a month and a half. It was HORRID! My regrowth is about 4-5 inches long now (with an 18 month old) and I am dreading it with #2! I have lots of hair issues though. It is bad because it usually falls out at the front all along the hairline. Sorry, but ugh it sucks!
one thing I'm going to do (and you should anyway) is stay on top of my prenatals for the year after baby comes. I'm hoping that will help. I might add in some biotin too, if I can add anything to my prenatal.
Re: hair loss. Mine started at 4 months PP and lasted for a month. It was wretched, I lost more hair than I thought possible, not just the extra built up hair. The sides of my hair, the underneath layer above my ears almost went bald. I couldn't pull my hair back in a ponytail for a year.
I remember it started so late that even though I was expecting it I still was caught completely off-guard
I was proactive for my 2nd (and this one) and invested in a good shampoo and conditioner for hair growth and second @texascat keep up on your prenatals even after birth - they help with getting nutrients to you and baby during BF and with hair/nail growth.
My hair loss started at 7 months PP when my period returned. Can't say how long it would have lasted because it stopped when I got pregnant again at 9 months.
@BusyZee It totally varies based on a) how long you breastfeed and b) the individual. For a lot of people it seems to come back when the baby starts sleeping through the night, but two friends and I all gave birth around the same time and exclusively breastfed until starting solids at 6 months and continued nursing until and past 12 months. One got her period at 11 weeks PP, I got mine at 7 months, and the last still hasn't gotten hers at 12 months postpartum. So it really varies!
Realistically, when does your period start again like normal period?..
Mine was 6 months PP to the day. I started solids around that time and noticed a dip in my milk supply. It was irregular for about 3-4 months and then was back to normal by 10 months and I got pregnant with this baby at 12 months.
Reading all of this, and reflecting on pregnancy in general, I am continually astounded that the human race has survived this long.
The mommy amnesia is why! I swear I forgot about all of this stuff until I really reflect back on it. In the moment, it seemed like the worst ever... but I managed to forget (or block it out!) until I am asked about it.
Realistically, when does your period start again like normal period?..
My period came back about 3mo post. I EBF for 7 months, so I don't think that effected it for me. But I agree it varies, a friend of mine didn't get hers for 12mo post.
Re: No one ever told me ...
They...they have a bucket?!!
Nobody ever told me about the constipation. It's awful,and it doesn't matter how many veggies or how much fiber I eat.
ETA I had second degree tearing with a few stitches
Also nobody told me that my belly button would be forever changed lol.
ETA it is not a "true" period just hormones causing some interesting symptoms.
I was mad that no one told me how hard breastfeeding was going to be or that despite doing everything right I could fail at it.
I wish I would have known that if the baby is up too high your water can continuously break for 5 hours straight (IV liquids). I was soaking through towels every few minutes.
ETA: I love this thread. Thank you so much to all the STMs for sharing. Even if some of these are downright scary.
For all the PP hair loss mamas, do you remember when it started to come back? Or how long the hair loss continues?
Plenty of women have a less than positive experience but I just wanted to tell FTM's that it might not be so bad!
No one ever told me how different my schedule and routine would be. I think I assumed that after the first few weeks, we'd just incorporate DD into our "normal" life. I struggled a lot because I kept wanting things to go back to normal when we now had a new normal. I came to love and appreciate our new routine but I struggled a lot those first few months because it wasn't just DH and I anymore.
Mine started at 3 months on the dot and was continuously falling out for a month and a half. It was HORRID! My regrowth is about 4-5 inches long now (with an 18 month old) and I am dreading it with #2! I have lots of hair issues though. It is bad because it usually falls out at the front all along the hairline. Sorry, but ugh it sucks!
one thing I'm going to do (and you should anyway) is stay on top of my prenatals for the year after baby comes. I'm hoping that will help. I might add in some biotin too, if I can add anything to my prenatal.
I remember it started so late that even though I was expecting it I still was caught completely off-guard
I was proactive for my 2nd (and this one) and invested in a good shampoo and conditioner for hair growth and second @texascat keep up on your prenatals even after birth - they help with getting nutrients to you and baby during BF and with hair/nail growth.
My period came back about 3mo post. I EBF for 7 months, so I don't think that effected it for me. But I agree it varies, a friend of mine didn't get hers for 12mo post.