TW Tuesday 3/21

labby18

Didn't see this yet. 

Let it out ladies.

beccam1230

Hm.. I'm gonna say me. Today I nominate myself for being totally irrational. I know it, I'm aware as I'm having ridiculous thoughts that they are indeed, ridiculous. So my cousin just found out that she's having a baby girl! I was so happy, then I was jealous. Then right after that I found out my friend was is having a boy! I was happy, then again- jealous. Wtf? Why am I jealous? NO IDEA. I'm fully aware that I'm having one or the other, and I will be 100% thrilled with either a boy or a girl. Then I was super bitch all day, stemming from completely irrational jealousy. Hormones? Let's hope so.

mrs_tacos

My TW is myself. My belly is starting to feel noticeably heavy, especially when I lay down. I know that 16 weeks is around the time when your belly starts to be too heavy to lay on your back, so I kept waking myself up last night, worried that I was on my back, even though I have a u-shaped pregnancy pillow (I call it my nest- so comfy), that cradles me enough that it's almost impossible to lay completely on my back, I'm usually at least at an angle. But my worry-wartiness kept me awake anyway, and now I am exhausted.

Also, I keep having bizzare dreams about the baby being able to do things he shouldn't be able to do when he's born- like talk in complete sentences, and make very cognizant, grow-up choices. Like The Boss Baby, but not funny. I usually sleep through them, but I don't wake up feeling rested. I just need my brain to chill out for even one night!

mrsmarygs

@amandarene112 Ugh, I worry about laying on my back too. I'm a back sleeper, so I thought that with a body pillow, I might stay on my side, but I still wake up to find myself on my back.

msashley2010-2

I am also a back sleeper most of the time!! I've been trying to sleep on my side but I'm not gonna lie and say that sometimes it's the only way I'm comfortable so I just snooze on my back anyway. I'm going to try to buy a pregnancy pillow and see if that helps me get comfy on my side. 

jena333-2

amandarene112 said:

*snip*
 even though I have a u-shaped pregnancy pillow (I call it my nest- so comfy)

*snip*

Please talk to me about your pillow! I have done a little looking on Amazon. But I LOVE my normal pillow, so I don't think I want one that also goes under my head.

mrsmarygs

jena333 said:

amandarene112 said:

*snip*
 even though I have a u-shaped pregnancy pillow (I call it my nest- so comfy)

*snip*

Please talk to me about your pillow! I have done a little looking on Amazon. But I LOVE my normal pillow, so I don't think I want one that also goes under my head.

I got the C-shaped Snoogle, but I didn't like how firm it was, so I squish my normal pillow between the two sides that loop around my head.

mrs_tacos

@jena333 I have the Leachco Back N' Belly contoured body pillow, it's by the same people who make the Snoogle. It does go under the head, though I suppose you could flip it upside down and have the u bend between your legs.The amount of firmness is perfect for me, and I sleep really well with it. I chose it because I wanted equal support for both my back and belly, but also wanted to be able to switch from side to side without having to readjust my pillow. 

Ae_Lovely321

I've never been a back sleeper until I was pregnant.  Now I keep waking up on my back. 

I've also been having weird dreams where people keep trying to physically fight me even though I'm very visibly pregnant. 

I have no TW nomination, except I started wearing my maternity uniform to work this week because I can't fit in my regular work pants anymore. It's hot in my office so I walk around without my coat on.  In the regular uniform your shirt has to be tucked in,  but in maternity it doesn't.  We don't have very many pregnant woman in my unit, so I've been getting a lot of side eyes so far like I'm committing a crime having my shirt untucked. But this is how it looks with your shirt tucked in.  I don't want to look like urkel yall. 

SSminnow426

My TW of the day is the staff at the genetic doctors..They call to go over my blood results from a BLOCKED number. What doctor office blocks their number?!?!?!?  Then I call back the nurse who left the message exactly 2 min. later and was put on hold for 10 minutes with someone new picking up the phone every minute asking how they can help me. Every time I tell them I'm holding for "specific nurse name here" they proceed to ask my name and DOB. For the love of all that is holy is no one competent anymore?!?! By the 5th time I just kept saying everyone keeps asking me the same thing and I'm holding for the nurse. Makes already stressful calls even less fun. UGHHHH I'm usually very nice and understanding but it seems that this front desk can't tell the difference between a hole in the wall and their you know what.....

labby18

@Ae_Lovely321
You can't roll your blouse sleeves? All the branches have different rules lol. When DH was in his cammo uniform he always rolled them (aka I did)...but that's Navy. You should 1 day just Urkel it to make your point lol.

labby18

My TW is my pets and their stupid fur. Spring is here and the shedding is UN REAL. I need a roomba or somesort of auto vacuum thing to help me out. 

Ae_Lovely321

@labby18 I can roll my blouse sleeves but it's no help.  Here in the UK they don't believe in air conditioning so my old building doesn't have it and we have no windows to open. It gets like a sweat box really fast.  I have to go outside to cool down.  

jena333-2

labby18 said:

My TW is my pets and their stupid fur. Spring is here and the shedding is UN REAL. I need a roomba or somesort of auto vacuum thing to help me out. 

I have a Neato XV-21, and it is literally my favorite purchase of all time (you can get them refurbished on eBay for about $200). I've had him since December 2015, his name is Hernando (HAIR-nando. if I had come up with Furnando first, it totally would have been that), and I love him so much. 

It's been a life changer. I can DO THINGS on the living room carpet now (sit down, wrap presents, fold laundry, etc) without coming up looking like I'm also a fur-child. My husband has 1000 allergies, and hasn't had a BAD allergy day since we got it. I also have to dust less frequently, because it just sucks up everything.

cmar1006

Maybe I'm the TW. The idea of cooking food that I can't even stand to look at is becoming a problem. DH is starting to get all mopey about having to cook or eat leftovers. Maybe he's not fully complaining, I may be projecting and feeling bad about it. I even told him tonight, the idea of making dinner is giving me anxiety. Feeling like the worst wife and mommy in the world today. 

mrs_tacos

cmar1006 said:

Maybe I'm the TW. The idea of cooking food that I can't even stand to look at is becoming a problem. DH is starting to get all mopey about having to cook or eat leftovers. Maybe he's not fully complaining, I may be projecting and feeling bad about it. I even told him tonight, the idea of making dinner is giving me anxiety. Feeling like the worst wife and mommy in the world today. 

@cmar1006  You are NOT the worst mommy or wife! You are pregnant, you body is not under your control right now, and having anxiety doesn't help anything. You need help, compassion, and understanding from your DH right now, and he should't make you feel bad for expressing that- and you shouldn't make yourself feel bad about it either. Be kind to yourself, growing a baby is hard work! (FWIW, I can't cook either, and haven't since I was probably 7 weeks. The smell of anything baking or frying or doing anything other than boiling is disgusting to me right now.)

cmar1006

@amandarene112 thanks lady. I definitely don't think he's making a big deal about it, I think it's more of myself feeling bad about it. I stay home with DD and now she's in school 2 days a week and I feel like I should be doing so much more. He's absolutely supportive of me, I'm just so used to making sure everyone else is taken care of, so this is hard. 

beccam1230

@cmar1006 oh no.. don't feel bad about that! I still can't cook, I can barely go to the grocery store without serious anxiety. The other day, I walked into the grocery store with my mom and DS... I had to ask my mom to please just find things she thinks I would like because I couldn't do it. I had to leave her with my card and walk out. I legitimately haven't made dinner since about 5 weeks. You're doing the best you can do, don't feel like you're the worst anything. You aren't. These are absolutely extenuating circumstances and just stick to what you're comfortable doing right now. It will pass, you'll feel decent again soon enough, but don't overdo it by pushing yourself to do things you aren't ready to do. 

jutondreau

labby18 said:

My TW is my pets and their stupid fur. Spring is here and the shedding is UN REAL. I need a roomba or somesort of auto vacuum thing to help me out. 

Love our roomba! We don't have any pets (had to leave our pup behind in the States), but with kids, it is a lifesaver....and a fun toy when the kids get older. 15 mo DS is obsessed--his daily duty is to turn it on

mrsmarygs

@cmar1006 I've been feeling the same way. I'm not sure if DH is annoyed at not getting a normal dinner, or if it's just me feeling guilty that I haven't cooked dinner in 2 months.

jutondreau

cmar1006 said:

Maybe I'm the TW. The idea of cooking food that I can't even stand to look at is becoming a problem. DH is starting to get all mopey about having to cook or eat leftovers. Maybe he's not fully complaining, I may be projecting and feeling bad about it. I even told him tonight, the idea of making dinner is giving me anxiety. Feeling like the worst wife and mommy in the world today


Youre in a tough spot mama...give yourself some grace. Have you tried maybe doing some crockpot meals? This is more bearable for me even with the full blown MS all the damn time...

DPandMB

I nominate DH. He's been super grumpy all day. Like I've wondered if he was pregnant. Yelling at everyone and everything. Flying off the handle over stupid stuff. He accidentally stepped on DDs toe just now, and I mean he barley stepped on it, and of course she cried (not hard more like scared) and he was all "really? You're crying? You were under my feet."  I mean she was, but dude, relax! You'd think you'd be happy after last nights deed. Sheesh. 

mercury94

I nominate myself. Just yelled at my dog and then got mad when he didn't understand me. I didn't use words he knows. Either hormones are making me mean or I'm an actual TW. 

lap018

Nominating my mother in law again. Today is my birthday and she didn't tell me happy birthday, instead she sent me a happy birthday card in the mail just so she wouldn't have to text/call me today. 

cmar1006

@lap018 sorry about the miserable MIL... but on a lighter note...

msashley2010-2

Everyone under the sun telling me they just "know" I'm having a girl. I'll be happy either way, but I hate when people that aren't medical professionals try to tell me they are certain of something that could go either way. 

wyomama0427

@lap018

Carebella

Happy Birthday @lap018!!!

msashley2010-2

And perhaps I am a bit of a TW. Apparently SO's mom really wants to be there for my 20 week ultrasound. (She originally wanted to be at my 9 week transvaginal ultrasound and I said absolutely not.) 

At first I was okay with the idea but now I'd kind of rather it just me and SO. In the event that something were wrong when we get the anatomy scan, I would rather it be a private moment between myself and SO. 

I feel bad because originally I said I didn't mind, but looking back, I mostly just said this cause I really didn't want her there for the first one. I'm trying to think of a way to discuss this without seeming like a total TW. 

jutondreau

@Msashley2010, maybe y'all could go to one of those elective ultrasound places with her after your AS--that way she'd feel like she's 'seeing' baby, but yet you and SO can still have those moments to
yourself?

mrsvp614

DH is the TW. Had a rough Tuesday. He works 2nd shift and had to wake up early to go to my appt with me since we were discussing billing. So he was already in a bad mood, but he's such a worrier, and now he's FREAKING out about finances and how we're going to afford everything and he takes it out on me. I'm more laid back, so when I say that we'll figure it out, it makes him mad because it's not a concrete solution. We are definitely in better situations than others financially, we just unfortunately have big student loan/credit card bills.
I've decided to just focus on paying the doctor bill for now, since it's due by week 28, then we'll start shopping for furniture and baby stuff, since that should still give us time, plus showers and whatnot. 
It's definitely stressful, but people have babies every day and figure it out. 

msashley2010-2

@jutondreau That's a really good idea. We may just do that. 

msashley2010-2

@MrsVP614 I'm a firm believer that freaking out about finances doesn't actually do anything to help and sometimes seems to make it worse for me when I do worry. 

I don't think you have to have everything figured out right now because it is still early. If he is so worried about finances then perhaps he may do well by doing something productive like coming up with a budget or savings plan in the meantime. If he is just freaking out about it but not willing to come up with concrete solutions or plans himself and wanting to leave it all up to you to solve, I do not think that is very fair. 

mrsvp614

@Msashley2010  He's not leaving it up to me to solve... he's just super stressed about it. We are going to get rid of some stuff to see what we can sell, tighten our spending, and do a better job of ironing out our budget.
ETA: I just struggle with how to assure him that everything will be fine, since he's the worrier, and I'm the optimistic one. 

jena333-2

jutondreau said:

@Msashley2010, maybe y'all could go to one of those elective ultrasound places with her after your AS--that way she'd feel like she's 'seeing' baby, but yet you and SO can still have those moments to
yourself?

This was going to be my suggestion exactly! The AS is (I feel) not really a "spectator event." It's an important measuring milestone. Also, the doctor/tech may not want you to have multiple people in the room during it. You could potentially tell her the office has a just +1 policy, and that your SO needs to be there as the parent. Then plan an elective, which are "for fun" instead of an actual, purposeful appointment. The whole idea of the elective US is to "play" and bond with baby - they take the time to ooh and aaah. Which would be more fun for her.

Becky012016

@mrsvp615 you guys definitely need a written out budget. Try the cash/envelope system for 4 weeks and be STRICT. It'll show your DH that you guys can save short term and pay all your bills. Student loan debt benefits you more than credit card debt so I'd definitely try to get rid of CC debt first using the snowball method by Dave Ramsey. There's also a method similar to snowball but where you see changes sooner so whatever your personalities, pick the one that fits better. 

DPandMB

A day late because I fall asleep early, but @lap018 Happy Birthday!!

MyNamesTaken

There was a discussion on my FB mom group about why people don't vaccinate. It was a shockingly civil convo. One mom said her son had a serious febrile seizure after the MMR shot so she's very cautious. Then she said that mumps is eradicated and that measles is so mild that she wasn't concerned. I replied (not touching anything about her child's seizure or her decision) that mumps is back throughout Canada and that measles can be very serious. She posted something defensive and then another mom said she agreed with me. Her comment and all replies got deleted and then someone else posted that we all need to remember that it's a "judgement free zone." 

It's so annoying when differing opinions (on facts!?) are seen as "judgy" and people get offended. 

DPandMB

MyNamesTaken said:

There was a discussion on my FB mom group about why people don't vaccinate. It was a shockingly civil convo. One mom said her son had a serious febrile seizure after the MMR shot so she's very cautious. Then she said that mumps is eradicated and that measles is so mild that she wasn't concerned. I replied (not touching anything about her child's seizure or her decision) that mumps is back throughout Canada and that measles can be very serious. She posted something defensive and then another mom said she agreed with me. Her comment and all replies got deleted and then someone else posted that we all need to remember that it's a "judgement free zone." 

It's so annoying when differing opinions (on facts!?) are seen as "judgy" and people get offended. 

I am part of two FB Mom Groups and they both get like that. Very granola and cliquey

MyNamesTaken

@DPandMB I wasn't even commenting on her choice. It sounded like her other kids were vaxxed and I would be freaked out by an intense seizure too. I just wanted to make sure that anyone else reading it knew that mumps and measles are still very real threats and not to put the fact that they're gone into the con column when weighing whether to get vaxxed or not. It was so strange.

lap018

Thank you ladies! I'm blushing! I've decided not to be bothered by her but instead to say thank you for the birthday card (by sending her a thank you card in the mail hehehehe) you don't want to play the passive aggressive game with me