May 2017 Moms

Birth Questions

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Re: Birth Questions

  • I can't find a way to word this without sounding like I'm critical.  So please just know that I'm not trying to be critical or snarky.

    In what situation would DH need to make a decision between me and his child? In my head, I'm only coming up with Grey's Anatomy type of scenarios.  I assume if there was such a scenario, the medical team would be able to provide some sort of analysis, advice, or prognosis to DH and it wouldn't come down to a 50/50 thing.  I fully expect that I'm wrong here.  I'm just trying to think about how this might occur.
    Wondering about this, too. While I've never really thought about it or had an explicit conversation with DH about it, I was always under the impression that, medically, the mother was the patient and the hospital's priority for keeping alive. That said, I haven't spent much time thinking about what situations would even necessitate such a 50%/50% decision, but now I'm curious...
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  • I'm sort of in the same mind set as @KMD1106 This decision wouldn't just impact my newborn, but I have DD1 and DD2 to think about and how their lives would be effected without a mother. 

    But like @ShadeofGreen816 mentioned, I can't think of a scenario where it would come down to a 50/50 thing. 
    Married 03.09.09
    Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
    Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
    Little Brother Due 05.22.17
    KMD1106
  • @KMD1106 I haven't really thought about it with this pregnancy, but I couldn't imagine leaving DD motherless. I would really have to sit down and think about this. 

    @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot with today's medical advancements, I can't think of a situation where this would happen either. But if it could, I wanted to be prepared and I wanted him to be prepared. I hope that no one is ever faced with such a decision. 
    KMD1106
  • **tw

    Because I have a DNR (and we have a very detailed will, legal papers,etc) we have also had this conversation. We couldn't really come up with specific scenarios, but we know things do happen and Drs are human, too. We have 3 at home and I have expressed my feelings for him to go with the twins if something happens. Our dr has stated that usually in an emergency situation they won't allow family in the room anyway with the concerned patient so it made it easier for him to come to his decision to go with the twins. 

    It was not an easy decision or conversation...and we have Now had this conversation for the 4th time. 
    DH is against my DNR, but it's in black and white and it is my wish. 
  • saric83saric83 member
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    vrj0522 said:
    9)In case of an emergency for baby or even for both of us, DH goes with the baby
    This is one I wish we had talked about before!!  I was throwing up throughout my CS, so DH was the one holding DS and cuddling with him right next to me, which was great.  But then I started hemorrhaging and having a panic attack, so they had to take DS out but offered for DH to stay. DH asked me what I wanted to do.  I was really disoriented and didn't understand what was happening and if DS was okay, so I asked DH to stay with me and just kept asking him over and over if DS was out yet, if he was okay, etc.  I think it was about 15-20 minutes before he was back with us, but I still feel TREMENDOUS guilt nearly two years later that our little human was by himself because I couldn't comprehend the situation and what I would have wanted (DH to go with DS). 
  • Can someone inform me regarding delayed cord clamping?
    Whats the information regarding why it is done, and how frequently it is done. 
    Has anyone had it done?

    nda_roxybabefbmandy55
  • @Jens_Hoes I'm not going to have a very medical answer, but from what I understand... the blood that baby is receiving through the cord is full of all kinds of good stuff for them and the more of that blood they can receive before it stop pulsing, the better for them. Apparently at my hospital it's now protocol, but I'm not sure for how long. I'm going to request they delay until the blood stops flowing which I believe can be around 5 minutes.
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  • @Jens_Hoes I'm no expert in explaining the medical reasons behind it, but it was standard practice in both hospitals I delivered at with DD1 and DD2. I didn't even have to ask, the OB just said "ok we'll wait to let the cord stop pulsing before we cut". It was just a few minutes and baby was on my chest the whole time. 
    Married 03.09.09
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  • @Jens_Hoes I believe the World Health Organization recently came out with this information about delayed cord clamping, basically saying that delayed cord clamping is good for more than one reason http://www.who.int/elena/titles/full_recommendations/cord_clamping/en/ ;

    @pshaortao TB has a good template for a birth plan both in a PDF you can print and a formate you can copy and paste into a Word doc. I copied and pasted it into a Word doc and am going through and highlighting my choices. I'll give a copy of this birth plan to the hospital when H and I go for our maternity ward visit in a couple weeks (that's when I'll give them my pre-registration papers too). I'll also discuss​ my birth plan with my doctor at my next appointment and probably give him a copy of it too. 
    https://www.thebump.com/a/tool-birth-plan ;
    NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlotmdlorenzpshaortao
  • We did our hospital tour last night and it made me feel really excited (everything felt REAL while we were there) and it was actually really informative given this is baby #2. 

    I was surprised at all the options my hospital has for being your basic, large, catholic hospital system. If you want to stand on your head to deliver, I think they'd let you. They also have gas for pain relief, which I was really excited to hear. I want to delay the epi as much as possible because I want to be able to move around during labor. When I had DS, it was basically epi or nothing and I ended up being uncomfortable on my back for 12 hours. The nurse on the tour was funny though because she joked about gas making such a big comeback considering it's all they used to use 40 years ago!
    starphish18vrj0522mdlorenzluckywife10
  • We asked for delayed cord cutting but because my son had had a desat during labor they wanted to detach baby from me as soon as possible. To me this is counter intuitive with all the reasons to delay which helps jaundice helps respiratory function helps blood volume etc. Being attached to me would be a positive thing so I am still unhappy they went against my one request. Seriously I didn't ask for anything I stayed on monitor I gAve them no trouble my one request was decided against. 
    luckywife10mdlorenz
  • Delayed cord clamping was standard at our hospital, but they weren't able to delay very long when my son was born. I had developed a high fever towards the end of labor, and they wanted to check him out ASAP to make sure he didn't have one either (he ended up being fine). So, it's something they try to do, but it's obviously not a priority if baby has anything else going (or potentially could have something going on) on health-wise, and I was definitely okay with that.
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  • SWE2SWE2 member
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    @fbmandy55 ohh! I just heard about the laughing gas at our birthing class. I doubt my hospital will have it but that's awesome yours does! It used to be around a lot more way back when but took it out and now it's coming back. 
    fbmandy55
  • Has anyone used laughing gas and would they recommend it? No idea where this belief/info came from, but I was always under the impression that anything short of an epi (shot, gas, etc) made you high but you still felt most of the pain. That could be totally wrong.  I loved my epi so much because it worked, but I'm interested in hearing of other options.

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  • Has anyone used laughing gas and would they recommend it? No idea where this belief/info came from, but I was always under the impression that anything short of an epi (shot, gas, etc) made you high but you still felt most of the pain. That could be totally wrong.  I loved my epi so much because it worked, but I'm interested in hearing of other options.
    From what I've seen and researched, it doesn't take pain away but takes mom away from the pain. Or more so, it makes you not care about the pain. 

    I had an epi with #1 but I hated being stuck on my back and I think it made my 2 hours of pushing harder than it should have been. Plus it wore off so much that I was in intense pain during the whole pushing process. I think I could deal with the pain much better if I could be able to move around and not just lay and take it. 

    The really nice part about the gas, is you can use it to get through contractions but if you get closer and still need the epi, you can still get one. 
    mdlorenz
  • @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot we use laughing gas at my dental office. It works kinda like an Ativan pill - reduces anxiety, makes you feel like you've had a few glasses of wine, increases your pain tolerance. It's also completely out of your system within a few minutes of getting off of it so there are (generally) no side effects. Very few people react negatively to it from all the training I've had.

    Since I'm a FTM I have no experience with using it during labour but my BFF used it with hers and she said it helped her to relax and focus a little better when things started to get really intense. She really didn't want an epi and she feels like the nitrous helped her enjoy the experience better than she would have without it. 
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  • vrj0522vrj0522 member
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    edited March 17
    Wow, I am an epidural girl but now I am wondering if I could do it with just laughing gas. Last time I only had to push through 2 1/2 contractions before DD came out and I am guessing it should be just as fast this time and I would love not to have the recovery from an epidural. Although I must admit that I am pretty afraid of strong contractions; but this is something to look into!
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  • Interesting re: laughing gas.  When I was induced, my pain level was fine until it was not.  I got the epi then when the pain was unbearable and I didn't feel anything after.  I also didn't have much of a recovery from the epi.  I walked to the bathroom with assistance shortly after and then it was night time so I tried to sleep after baby cuddling.  If I'd had more of a transition period, I can see where the laughing gas may have helped.

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  • achays11achays11 member
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    edited March 17
    Can someone direct me if we had a VBAC/CS thread? I have a lot of questions/anxiety over which way to go.

    ETA: fixing punctuation 
  • @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot , I had a similar experience with my epidural after induction--I was totally fine, riding the contractions, and then suddenly they started crashing on top of each other and the pain dramatically increased. I went from laughing and joking to not being able to speak a single word. And, similarly, had a rapid recovery and was up walking to the bathroom within a couple of hours (if I remember correctly...I for sure know I hadn't been transferred to my PP room yet). I pushed for almost 3 hours and by the end was SO tired, on oxygen, and starting to feel some pain...I just can't imagine having done 3 hours of that on laughing gas, but maybe! 
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  • KMD1106KMD1106 member
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    achays11 said:
    Can someone direct me if we had a VBAC/CS thread? I have a lot of questions/anxiety over which way to go.

    ETA: fixing punctuation 
    I know we had a csection thread awhile back, but I'd love to see a VBAC thread. I'm leaning towards it if he's not breech, but I'd like to hear from other moms who've had a VBAC.
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    achays11
  • I really hated my epidural. My legs were basically dead weights and I felt everything in my back. I was told I could of have a "hot spot" in my back. With the amount of pain I was in I would just rather try and go without. 
  • I would be interested in trying out the laughing gas, but I doubt my hospital has it. If they use it like at the dentist, I could see it working on me. I always need it in addition to Novocaine, and it makes me feel fuzzy all over. I guess the fuzzy feeling is the only reason why I wouldn't want to try it while in labor.
  • The only time I used nitrous oxide was when I had 3 wisdom teeth (already grown out) extracted. I was 16 years old. I remember being able to hear the "crunching" sound as the dentist removed each tooth and feeling a bit antsy but then would just start laughing hysterically. 

    With how great my experience was with an epidural last time, I would still rather go that route vs nitrous.

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  • Here's the pictogram of what I'm doing:

    I like this a lot. It's simple and to the point. I'm planning a birth similar to yours. I'll find out in just over a week if my placenta previa has resolved, so I'll know if I can follow through with this plan. If not, I'll tweak my preferences and have my plan/desires in the event of a C-section ready to go. I may copy your idea and use a pictograph.

  • JCWhiteyJCWhitey member
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    edited March 18
    I really hope they have gas at my hospital.  They didn't at my 20 week but said they were in the process and may have it by May.  I've had both a med free and an epidural birth.  After the epidural I swore I'd have one again because I actually enjoyed the experience.  But then 9 months of horrible back spasms followed and my doctor traced it to the injection site.  They said it's a rare side effect but if I had it once I'd likely have it again so that's out.  Stupid scoliosis.  

    As far as birth plans, my experience with my epi should be in my medical notes but I don't know who reads those so I will have it in my birth plan.  I just don't want a well meaning nurse to suggest it in a time of weakness and feel like a jerk for it.  My hospital is Baby Friendly so most everything else I want is standard and routine (delayed cord clamping, extended skin to skin, room in, etc.).  My only other note will be to mention that I am a Catholic and to call a priest in the event of life or death (Catholic hospital).  Then maybe throw in some jokes and the promise of beer like I did with my first one.  I'm told that to this day my birth plan hangs in the nurses station because of a couple of random jokes I threw in there that some of the nurses really enjoyed and they thought it was a great move to get the birth plan read and followed.  

    B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17


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  • @MollyandD I got the pictograms from Mama Natural's website (linked in my original post). There were a lot more options. Also, Earth Mama Angel Baby includes c-section options if you want to go as crunchy as possible while still doing a c-section and surviving it. :)
    MollyandD
  • I just found out that the hospital I'm going to deliver at is doing some renovation in the maternity ward in the next few months and that a private room may not happen as a result. There are so many pregnant women around here these days. 4 out of 10ish of us were clearly looking like we were all on our 3rd trimester at this indoor playground.the other day. Crap.  :s


  • @pshaortao ohh that is horrible news. At the hospital were delivering at this time if we have to do 2 in a room our husbands don't get to stay the night. Is that how it'll work for you? We toured two years ago at this hospital but ended up delivering elsewhere for ds because of the renovation being done. It's where my MD delivers so it was super awkward showing up at this other hospital with just obgyn notes and med records lol
  • @yiggle09 I have no idea. I just found out through a local mom group on FB that was talking about. I have not done the tour yet so I will be inquiring about this. The hospital I plan to deliver at, the midwives and OBs from the practice I've been going to deliver there regularly, and the pediatrician practice that we're with also go there when the babies are born. I have heard good things about this hospital, just that it's an inconvenient time. Hopefully it will work out in our favors and we get our own room!


    Yiggle09
  • Has anyone used laughing gas and would they recommend it? No idea where this belief/info came from, but I was always under the impression that anything short of an epi (shot, gas, etc) made you high but you still felt most of the pain. That could be totally wrong.  I loved my epi so much because it worked, but I'm interested in hearing of other options.

    @notaplaya-justcrushalot so much this!!! I was in back labor for over 6 hours last time before I got my epi.  In that time they gave me gas and the shot.  Both made me feel loopy but totally felt the pain.  I was slurring my words and cursing through the contractions at the same time. The only thing that really took the pain away was the EPI and it was a life saver. There is no way I would have survived the intense back contractions any longer considering my son was born almost 12 hours after my epi!!!

    @kipperoo so right on the girl scout badge reference.  Don't think I'll ever need one either:)

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