GTKY: How many kids?

vrj0522

This might be an interesting poll to take again after all our babies are here and the reality of a new family member hits but as of right now, how many kids are you wanting to have? 

chickyclg

I've always wanted 3, DH's old number was 2.  

When we did our first IVF/FET cycle we had 3 embryos that made it to blastocysts, we transferred 2 and got the twins.  Since both took and we had an extra that was the same quality we always figured we would have 3 kids.  Fast forward to May 2016 we transferred the 3rd embryo and it was unsuccessful and I was adjusting mentally to only having 2 kids.  

Fate laughed as I was tagging kids stuff for a big buy and sell, and I felt the need to take a test which was positive.  

Since I am "that" IF story, DH is getting a vasectomy in the fall.

jdebaie

This is the last baby for us! Two and through! I'm having my tubes taken out during this c-section.

emilyalso

Hoping to convince hubs to have one more (that would make 3), but I'm afraid he may dig in his heels. 

CarmCeG

At first, my fiancé & I agreed we wanted three! Now he says two (boy & hopefully girl) and he said if we have another boy he's still done. It might take a lot of convincing or it might not, but I still want 3 babies.

BeachMommy2B

We were going to be one and done, or at least we were pretty sure... but we had an oopsie this summer which landed us here, so fiance is getting fixed after this one! However, we are really excited as we had went back and forth on having another and just couldn't make ourselves commit, so it seems the universe (and probably some liquor ) did the committing for us!

pshaortao

DH used to want 3 or 4 when we were younger and I've always wanted 2. Since he got more settled in life, he's now down to wanting only two max. We are definitely done after this kid and will do a vasectomy when we're ready.

WombThereItIs

We both thought we would have 3 or 4 since we each have several siblings but our son was SO hard as a baby we quickly rethought that and were team 2 and through for a while.

Now while staring down a likely c-section the idea of getting a tubal came up and I kind of want to wait a year or so until I am more certain. So who knows? I would say I am about 75% sure it will be vasectomy time after this second kid but 25% unsure because hormones. 

Ejjaba2009

Sibeal will be our third, DH is actually the one with baby fever out of the two of us. DS and DD are so close together I got Mirena after DD was born and by the time it had to come out he had talked me into a third lol. We will see if this is the last or not.

Louise_Belcher

We had somewhat settled on 3 prior to having any and we are still thinking that, but the reality of 2 might change that. This will be our second boy and I think if it were a girl DH would take some convincing to have a 3rd, but since he feels guilty for getting 2 boys (like he got to choose!) it will mostly be up to me. If we do end up going for 3, DS1 will need to be in all day preschool or kindergarten by then. So we will need a bigger gap than we have between these two. 

starphish18

I used to want 3. H wanted 2, very firmly. He has a sister who's 9 years older, but he pretty much grew up as an only child, because they didn't live together. Whereas I grew up with 2 brothers and loved being in a bigger family. He thinks having more than 2 will be too financially burdensome. I think he's just too used to being able to spend money however he wants to. We never felt like money was an issue when we were kids...you just share and do more creative things, instead of relying on expensive gifts. I'm definitely more frugal than H, so I find it weird that his main argument for less kids is based around money. Anywho, I've come around to sticking at 2, but I'm still open to possibly 3, and H has agreed to keep an open mind as time goes on.

emilyalso

@starphish18 - Are we married to the same man??? On the one hand, mine says 'We aren't paying for college, that's what HOPE is for" and on the other hand he said "How can we put 3 kids through college???" He also worries about money in the short term. While we aren't rich, by any standard, we could alter our lifestyle a little to be able to EASILY afford another child. Like... we don't HAVE to be members of that golf club or buy season football tickets. 

nda_roxybabe

I'd like 3. H has only wanted 1, I've gotten him to come around to the idea of 2 and he will say "our kids". However he keeps telling me, "enjoy this pregnancy, it's your only one". I'm not down with that and will push for #2.

mcvgal

I always wanted 4. DH wanted 2-3. After 2 losses and taking longer than expected to get pregnant with DS2 and DD, we knew this was our last. I had my tubes tied during the c-section.

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

We've gone back and forth on 2 vs. 3.  DD exhausts us in all the ways an average kid can exhaust a person, so I think we will be 2 and through after this kid.  DH is also concerned that he will be "too old" in his late 30s for a third.  He does have some knee/leg pain issues and I think that's what he's concerned about.  I'm also looking forward to getting some of my life back in the form of vacations (with or without kids) and will likely be over nursing by the time LO is done with my boobs.

Kipperoo

There was a time that we thought we wanted 3, but now we are firmly in the 2 kiddo camp. As strange as this may sound, the deciding factor was when we started talking about how we can't wait to be able to take the kids on vacations to do things that we can all enjoy. (International travel, specifically). While it's not impossible with babies and toddlers, I have a feeling it will be more enjoyable when the kids are 5+. When we started talking about how many years from now that is, we both agreed that 2 just makes the most sense vs. prolonging the baby stage. We're both happy with the decision, but I also know that adoption (specifically of older kids) is not totally off the table. Referencing my story from the Tidbits thread, I've got 3 pseudo-siblings that joined our family later in life and I've always been open to the idea of expanding our family in an unconventional way. Also, my mom was adopted and 3 of my husband's sisters were adopted, so it's definitely something we are pretty comfortable with. 

vrj0522

We are on #3 and want 4. Because of losses and things taking longer than we would've liked, we will likely start trying for #4 when this one is 6 months (yikes!) but we are open to delaying a little bit if needed. Even while dating we agreed to 4 kids so that's always been the plan. 

Jens_Hoes

We've always said 2, but lately my husband has said he wants three. It all depends on how set we are financially after two, but I don't really have an argument for not having three other than finances. 

inomniaparatus2

I have always been a 2 kid person and DH was about the same at 2-3. But then being older I wish I had more than one sibling and was always jealous of those families with many kids. Now we are hoping for 3 and maybe adopt a 4th that may be a little older and not at the baby stage. I guess it depends on how we handle this one and also if we can. It took two IUI's to get here with one mmc so hopefully we continue to get lucky with those. 

mdlorenz

DH comes from a family with 4 kids and a huge extended family (50+ cousins) so he initially wanted a lot of kids (4 or 5?). I thought 2 or 3 would be good - I'm an only child and really really wanted siblings. We were on #2 that turned into 2 and 3 so maybe we're done? The thought of getting pregnant with twins again is a huge motivator for me to be done. DH changed his tone after DD was born (super high-needs baby) and is more aligned with my thoughts but we'll see what we both think once these babies get bigger. 

kat81

We were on the fence between 2 and 3, but since this is #3 then 3 it is! Definitely done after this one, though.

KMD1106

I've never wanted more than three. I'm wavering between 2 (this is 2) and 3. DH would have 100 if I'd be up for it, so I'll ultimately get to decide when we're done. As will fertility stuff, as getting pregnant both times a has not been easy.

bailey8809-2

We always talked about 3 or 4. I'm one of 4 and DH is an old child who always wanted a lot of siblings. Now that we are on #2 we are second guessing ourselves and maybe done at 2, we're quickly running out of space in our house and the cost of daycare has also been a making us think twice! 

rkstro2

I have always thought of having 2.  DH always said he wanted 3.  We are mid 30's and we had IF issues getting this pregnancy and looked into adoption.  We will likely try for a sibling after this by going back to the RE when we are ready to try but may also consider adoption.  After our experience with IF we figured out that we don't always get to choose so we will just wait and see what happens.

MrsFox2008

3. This baby makes #2 for us. DH and I always said 2 would be our number but then we had DD and absolutely love being parents so we definitely are considering a 3rd baby in the future.

achays11

I always wanted 5 growing up, but living in So Cal where everything is super expensive, I think we are going to end up with 3. This baby is #2 and we will likely try for #3 when they turn 1. 

MTB16

I never wanted any at all so we'll see how this one goes!!  I might be 1 and done especially after all of the complications of this pregnancy!

mspacman34

We have never discussed a number of kids we would like to have. We are open to playing the whatever happens, happens game. I think it will ultimately come down to DH. But, I would also like to adopt so we will see. 

hp_momma

This is our last baby, so three! I've always wanted 3-4 and I could essentially be ok with another baby but DH took some convincing to get to 3. He came from a family of 4 kids where finances were very tight so I think he was worried about that. He was also super nervous about having a house full of girls! 

@Louise_Belcher We waited a little longer between 2 and 3 for those exact reasons! DD1 will start full-day kinder in the fall and DD2 will be in part-time preschool. I'm really excited about the age gaps that we have. DD1 and DD2 are close and are at the perfect age where they can entertain eachother and like playing together! 

L1C4gal

I always wanted 3, like in my family--I have two brothers, though we're so spread out that it's not traditional (my older brother and I were 18 and 13, respectively, when our little (surprise!) brother was born). My husband was on the fence about having any, and we'll see how this one goes, but I think we'll probably shoot for 2. It makes me a bit sad because I always wanted a bigger family, but now that I'm planning for my first, I'm starting to see all of the realities. My job has long (though flexible) hours, I want to travel, my husband wants to pursue hobbies that he's put on hold while I've been in grad school, and he worries about the financial side--once you get to 3, everything has to go up a notch (car, etc.). Hopefully I (along with this LO) can convince him for at least one more!

mamatowildones

This is baby and boy number 3 for us. We are undecided right now. DH would love a little girl, but there's no guarantee of that next time either so we have decided to wait until I'm 34ish. I'm 30 now. If we feel our family is complete we will be done. Otherwise we will have a fourth(not planning for either sex) and then be done. We have really great boys but man is it hard and throwing another into the mix is overwhelming. 3 boys under 4 1/2 is enough to scare anybody haha even though we planned for them all. I like the idea of spacing a possible 4th child a little farther than the siblings. I am the baby of my sibset by 17 years and I love being the baby baby of the fam. So a 4 year gap between for us would be larger than our usual 2-2-5

Icarriedawatermelon

This is #2 for us and we are finished after this. Both DH and myself come from 2 children families, so we've always been on the same page with number of children. It feels good to know this is definitively the last pregnancy. 

I will say that some comments I've been getting irritate me because I have a DD and we're team blue this time around. I can't even tell you how many people have said things along the lines of "now that you have one of each, you can stop" or "you won't need to have any more kids because you'll have one of each." Umm... I would have been done if this one was a girl too and I would have been perfectly happy!! I don't think the sex of the children should determine how many makes a family complete. 

MrsCPALeslie

My husband and I have always settled on 2, but after everything I've gone through and the fact that I don't like being pregnant, I asked my husband if he would be okay with 1 kid and he flat out said no. Damn I tried so it looks like we will try to have 2. 

RainyDays86

I put special snowflake because if I'm answering the question of how many I WANT, it's 3. 3 has always been my number and H originally said 2 but has been more open to 3 the last year or so. However, with my cancer being so heavily hormone-fueled I have come to the realization that it's probably too risky to try again for a third so this is very likely it for us. I am trying to tell myself that there are definite benefits to having only two (don't need a minivan! We can have an office AND a guest room! We can travel sooner and cheaper!) but that doesn't change the fact that in my head, my number is 3. It has been a tough pill to swallow.

Squirtgun

I'm the weirdo who wants 5or more kids! Haha- husband has theoretically agreed to 5 at this point. We will see what the future brings! 

march2008

Two will be it for us. We had an easy time conceiving our first daughter, but it took 2.5 years of trying to get this baby #2. That 2.5 years included many tests, 7 failed attempts at medicated IUI cycles, an exploratory laparoscopy that ended up being a 4 hour long surgery to remove found endometriosis, followed by a chemical pregnancy and then this pregnancy. I'm feeling very thankful and content to have this second baby girl!

bacorrea

I was one and done, but apparently God had other plans. We will now be two and through. DH will get a vasectomy or if for some reason I have to have a cscetion my OB said he would tie my tubes.

0408Bear

I always said two. DH always said one....well 11 years after number 2 came surprise  3 and now one short year later double surprise with 4&5. WE ARE SOOOOOO DONE!!!! People always ask "well you DO know how they are made?" It's infuriating. Yes, we know...we honestly figured something was wrong with one of us and we never conceived after DD(child 2). Now we know nothing was wrong lol:) we can laugh about it now, but man have the last two years been quite the whirlwind!

skeetied

When we got married, we said between two and four.  I thought we were done at two while I was pregnant with DS2 but then I didn't feel done after giving birth to him.  Apparently I did such a good job convincing DH that when I decided I was happy with two, he really wanted another one.  I'm not totally thrilled about going back to babyhood now but it will be nice to have a girl around and a third child will definitely improve the relationship DS1 and DS2 have, as they're polar opposites..  We are definitely done at three, either via tubal if I have a CS for some reason or vasectomy later on.

redheeler

We always agreed on no more than 2, I was firmly 1 and done until December '15 when baby fever hit. I dare say it may happen again, I think I only really want 2, so we probably won't try again after this LO, but I am only 22 so who knows what will happen.

ShadeofGreen816

I've always wanted 3-4 as an only child who grew up watching others sibling relationships with a little envy. MH has always said no more than 2. He's one that's excited to have kids but always said it wouldn't break his heart or ruin him if we never did (I feel the exact opposite). We're on #1 now and we're 29 and 35, so I suspect 2 will be our max unless there are twins in our future.