@awillis13, you do you, girl. I just don't think any man has any say on how a woman births a child. Your role is to support me and any of my wishes, whatever they may be.
Yep! If you aren't the one being cut open or squeezing out a watermelon sized human, you don't decide. Now, in my situation, DH would never question my choice. He knows I can and prefer to go epidural free, but he also knows I may make a completely different decision and he certainly doesn't expect me to check with him first!
We discuss and decide a lot of pregnancy related things together, but how I decide to give birth is between my doctor and myself. He's there for support, distraction, concentration, whatever the situation calls for. He's also very informed - he's read and learned a ton about birth (not to mention seen me give birth already) and he is more prepared to act and advocate on mine and baby's behalf (should the need arise) than many husbands would be. I'm blessed with him. BUT it's still up to me.
I also need to confess that I did not put my hubs 19 year old daughter on the list of people to invite to the baby shower. We don't have a good relationship and I don't want her there.
Not going to lie @Wearmi1 I had to read this twice to make sure I understood. You are not inviting your baby's sister to the baby shower. The relationship must be a real strain. Thats so sad. Im not judging bc I didnt invite my father to my wedding and hes never met my son. That being said I have no intention of repairing a relationship with him. But I remember being a teenager and not being invited to important things with him and his side of the family and it crushed me and I never got over it. I hope you guys can work it out.
@awillis13, you do you, girl. I just don't think any man has any say on how a woman births a child. Your role is to support me and any of my wishes, whatever they may be.
Yep! If you aren't the one being cut open or squeezing out a watermelon sized human, you don't decide. Now, in my situation, DH would never question my choice. He knows I can and prefer to go epidural free, but he also knows I may make a completely different decision and he certainly doesn't expect me to check with him first!
We discuss and decide a lot of pregnancy related things together, but how I decide to give birth is between my doctor and myself. He's there for support, distraction, concentration, whatever the situation calls for. He's also very informed - he's read and learned a ton about birth (not to mention seen me give birth already) and he is more prepared to act and advocate on mine and baby's behalf (should the need arise) than many husbands would be. I'm blessed with him. BUT it's still up to me.
In my ex's defense, he wasn't trying to decide, but he felt like he was helping (I think) by trying to tell me it's ok to get the epi. But if we talked about what I wanted, the better thing to have done would have been to ask what he COULD do instead of pushing the epi all the time. Of course, if he managed to stay in the room for more than 15 minutes at a time, that would've been helpful too.
FFFC: I never remember how many weeks pregnant I am when people ask. Sometimes I have to find posts from here to figure it out. I always knew exactly how many weeks with DD. I am already slacking on baby #2.
@mombod I've tried and tried with this young lady. When I first met her I made a point to be a good influence on her. She's lived 2 hours away from her dad her whole and her mom is a nut job. She reads palms for a living and is so embarrassed of her mother. Anyway I used to take her shopping and to lunch or the movies when she'd be down here to visit her dad. I made sure I convinced her dad she needed a 400 dollar dress for homecoming and the whole nine yards. Anyway last year at around her high school graduation time tickets to her graduation became an issue. She only had so many and let her dad know that she'd rather have her girlfriend of 2 months there because I hadn't been around that long in her life (2 years at the time). She also informed her dad she didn't care if her grandparents(hubs mom and dad) were there either because they'd been in and out of her life as she put it. Mind you these are both people who live right around where we do. With the exception of hubs dad who snow birds between here and Arizona. Now the same grandmother who she didn't care about being at her graduation also passed away last week. She showed up to her grandmothers memorial wearing a sweatshirt and workout pants with her girlfriend of the moment. Anyway when all of the transpired I was beyond livid. I felt I'd done so much for her and all she'd done was use me. I also could not believe how she'd spoken about her grandparents. I truly felt like she was nothing but a teenage monster. She's never apologized for her actions and doesn't feel like she was wrong. I refuse to let it just go... my hubs feels like she's been punished enough. He's no longer paying for any of her college education. He took her car away that he gave her. She's told her mother that I'm pretty much the wicked witch of the west and need a house dropped on me. Other things have gone on with her since then but that's what started all of this. I've told hubs I will not allow her to be around her half sister until she makes some changes in her life and figures out how she can improve her relationship with me. I will not allow her to either intentionally or unintentionally say things to my daughter that reflect me in a negative light. She knows that I want nothing to do with her and have no interest in trying to have a relationship with her anymore. That ship has sailed.
FFFC: I never remember how many weeks pregnant I am when people ask. Sometimes I have to find posts from here to figure it out. I always knew exactly how many weeks with DD. I am already slacking on baby #2.
I can remember weeks because I get daily emails from my pregnancy app, but I cannot remember months for the life of me. Yesterday I told somebody 4 months it's more like 6 at this point.
@EmeraldNC If you like hot chocolate, put a packet (or 2 if you really hate coffee) in the bottom of your mug and then gradually cut back on your chocolate and substitute creamer and such. I went from barely being able to swallow a sip of coffee to being able to drink coffee black.
I'm team my body, my choice. If it is endangering the baby, that's one thing, but something about how the delivery goes (short of something dangerous like at home with no medical professional present) is off limits to me. Dh's job there is to support me. I prefer to labor without an epidural and without any other family present in the room or in the hospital. I don't think it would occur to either of us that he should have a say in those things. I get so pissed when women talk about having their MIL in the delivery room even though they don't want to because it is important to their husbands. Nope. It's my labor, and no one will be there who I don't want there. They can meet the baby later. Your mom wants to be there or your husband wants his friend's cousin's dogwalker there? No. Not unless it's what you want for yourself.
@Wearmi1 I totally get it. There are some people, family or not, that do not need to be in your life or your baby's. I hope the baby motivates her to make some changes so she can be a part of her sisters life.
Thanks ladies. It's just one of those situations where few people in our family actually know about her bad behavior. We've tried to keep it private for everyone's sake. All I can hope is she matures and grows a bit in these next few years and can be a better person.
I'm all about leaving crappy family out of things. I left my grandmother and most of my mothers family off the guest list for my wedding and I ensured that my husbands special family members weren't invited either. My mother was also not invited to my baby shower, the hospital or the baptism of my kid. No judging here! I totally support and love people who are strong enough to break the cycle and create healthy family situations for the next generation. #youarentwelcome
Re: FFFC 3/10
Now, in my situation, DH would never question my choice. He knows I can and prefer to go epidural free, but he also knows I may make a completely different decision and he certainly doesn't expect me to check with him first!
We discuss and decide a lot of pregnancy related things together, but how I decide to give birth is between my doctor and myself. He's there for support, distraction, concentration, whatever the situation calls for.
He's also very informed - he's read and learned a ton about birth (not to mention seen me give birth already) and he is more prepared to act and advocate on mine and baby's behalf (should the need arise) than many husbands would be.
I'm blessed with him.
BUT it's still up to me.
Due June 25 2017