TWT - 3/7

theweevee

Hope no one minds if I start this this week.  

theweevee

TWT goes to the 32 y/o with seven years less experience than I have, who apparently noticed I was pregnant at a meeting and then got a group of people together to discuss how getting pregnant with my/our title reflects a lack of commitment to our employer.  

I'm already AMA.  What was I supposed to do, wait for the promotion I may not get until I'm 38?  Thanks for the support TW.

star_beagle

@theweevee - WTF to your coworker. Is that something you can report? (I take that pretty seriously since it is considered discrimination in my book.)

theweevee

@lfk2013 A partner overheard the conversation and broke it up...that's how I found out it happened.    He told me when I told him I was pregnant yesterday, as part of his overall advice on how to handle the next few months.  (His advice was practical and good...his wife is also a partner and they have kids).  But I suspect based on the obvious immaturity of that group of people (and without proof at this point), that the gossiping behind closed doors is probably still going on.  That TW is hyper competitive, but adored by those who ignore her obvious flaws, because she ultimately gets the partners what they want.  At least the partner who mentioned it apparently is disenchanted, but I feel kind of helpless otherwise.

postywiththemosty

@theweevee That is seriously unbelievable and shows a huge lack of maturity.  I cannot believe someone would go to those lengths to be such an ass.  I'm so sorry you're going through that and that coworker is a major TW in my book.

Dcwtada

@theweevee I know you may not want to cause an issue over it but part of me (and it's easy since I am not into the situation) wants you to bring it up to HR and get her knocked down a peg or two for discrimination. That reeks of sabotage or promoting yourself through attacking others. She is obviously a real classy person. 

lph4248

@theweevee That is unreal. I'm so sorry you have to work with someone like that. I agree with @Dcwtada, but of course I'm not in your situation either, so only you know if that would accomplish anything.

julybaby17-2

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through that. Wow! I second reporting her. That's not okay or professional. Sometimes, I think women are overly critical of one another when it comes to pregnancy and parenting. I'd like to say men are the problem, but it's not always the case. 

OperaSingerMommy

@theweevee Ughh that's obnoxious.  So sorry that she said hurtful things but please don't let ignorant people like that make you question your own value.  So many professional women have babies!  You got this!

Someday if/when that woman expands her family, maybe she'll realize how rude and hurtful she was towards you.

ljd2010

@theweevee WTF?! I know it shouldn't be, but it almost seems worse coming from a woman. Are you at a law firm? I'm glad the partner shut that shit down and talked with you. UGH. 

PurplePoppy424

@theweevee That's so messed up. I've had similar issues where I work, but I'm just a staff member so there's not much I can actually do about it. I'm going to be looking for a new job when I'm on maternity leave though for this exact reason. I have horror stories for days from when DD was first born. It's a tough world out there for us working moms. 

supermom83

@theweevee I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a toxic coworker. Are you an attorney? Your situation sounds similar to an issue my DH told me about his past firm when a female associate got pregnant. He said another female associate tried to take advantage of the situation and catapult herself ahead to partnership consideration by spreading all kinds of rumors and doubts about the pregnant associates commitment to the firm. It's so disgusting. 

oheliza44

@theweevee this makes my blood boil. Please don't let this person taint your view of yourself as a professional or a soon-to-be mother. 

kat0607

@theweevee just echoing everything said above. It's sad and pathetic that she felt she needed to stoop so low, just to promote herself and her agenda. 

squirttheturtle

My TWT is to myself.  I took ground beef out of the freezer on Sunday night before bed intending to leave out overnight to defrost and then put in the fridge during the work day.  Totally forgot about it yesterday morning before leaving for work so it sat out for a good 20ish hours.  Needless to say, I was rapid defrosting another pound of ground beef for dinner last night.  I'm more mad at myself for having to waste the meat than forgetting to put it in the fridge.  *whomp whomp*

greenbean-2

@theweevee Ugh I'm so sorry. However, it's a very good sign that a partner at your firm put a stop to it. It might be worth talking with this partner more about what you can/should do about stuff like this. 

theweevee

Thanks for the sympathies everybody.  Yes, I'm at a law firm.  It was upsetting to hear and I'm glad that it was a group of relatively junior people instead of a group of my superiors.  All I can hope is that that kind of behavior will be quickly dismissed by anyone who has had kids in this environment.  

I really appreciate the board for the support.  I am trying to keep my head down and just prove my commitment through action, and it really helps to hear that I'm not totally crazy for having an emotional reaction to this.

crzyforbabies

@theweevee that coworker was so out of line. Sounds like she needs to follow my kindergarten teacher advice: worry about yourself. 

My TWT goes to a coworker who works on the other side of the building from me, and who I have barely spoken to in the four years I've been here. She strikes up a pleasant conversation about my pregnancy: due date? excited? Then proceeds to say: All the other married people have gotten pregnant within a year and now you're "finally pregnant". ...and she cares why????  

PurplePoppy424

@theweevee I'm also at a law firm. I swear this this the worst atmosphere for families I've ever dealt with. I'm glad your superior stuck up for you. I wish I had the same support at my firm. I hope the junior associates back off. 

tuxielove93

@crzyforbabies You cannot make people happy with when you have kids. We just found out this weekend that apparently some people in our family were like "theyre pregnant already!?" 
We got married this last July. Seriously its never the right time for anyone

crzyforbabies

@kerils you can't win! I was lucky my family members didn't push too hard for me to have a baby. It helps that there are already four grandchildren in the family on my side, and I am the baby girl of the family. It took my mom awhile to warm up to the idea of her youngest girl having a baby. 

nktrodden826

SquirttheTurtle said:

My TWT is to myself.  I took ground beef out of the freezer on Sunday night before bed intending to leave out overnight to defrost and then put in the fridge during the work day.  Totally forgot about it yesterday morning before leaving for work so it sat out for a good 20ish hours.  Needless to say, I was rapid defrosting another pound of ground beef for dinner last night.  I'm more mad at myself for having to waste the meat than forgetting to put it in the fridge.  *whomp whomp*

I did this with a pot roast on Friday! Put it in at 9:00am came back at 5:00pm to check on it and realized I never turned the crock pot on... so gross! 

squirttheturtle

nktrodden826 said:

SquirttheTurtle said:

My TWT is to myself.  I took ground beef out of the freezer on Sunday night before bed intending to leave out overnight to defrost and then put in the fridge during the work day.  Totally forgot about it yesterday morning before leaving for work so it sat out for a good 20ish hours.  Needless to say, I was rapid defrosting another pound of ground beef for dinner last night.  I'm more mad at myself for having to waste the meat than forgetting to put it in the fridge.  *whomp whomp*

I did this with a pot roast on Friday! Put it in at 9:00am came back at 5:00pm to check on it and realized I never turned the crock pot on... so gross! 

I did that about a month ago with a pork roast. UGH.  

BusyZee

You know, you should totally take it to HR. Seriously cheap. So cheap. Im getting mad thinking about. @theweevee

BusyZee

H got sucked into a meeting so we got late for AS. I threw a tantrum. Big one. I feel bad now. *sigh* 

@kerils @crzyforbabies  seriously, what is wrong with people... 

manillabar

@theweevee what a jerk! I don't understand why people think that the contents of other people's uteruses (uteri?) is any of their business! I'm glad that partner stood up for you.

Dcwtada

@manillabar I am definitely going to use the word "uteri" in a sentence now. Preferably in a completely random conversational interaction

theweevee

Thanks @purplepoppy424, @buzyzee and @manillabar

manillabar

@Dcwtada lol please do! I felt like uteri was probably not the proper plural form but I really really want it to be

Dcwtada

Lmao @manillabar I refuse to acknowledge any other proper form and will probably spend more time than considered "normal" trying to figure out ways to slip it into a regular conversation

oheliza44

My TWT is the guy who scheduled a late appointment with me, only to walk out the door when he found out I was female. Somehow not having testicles makes me unable to handle his divorce case. If that is your attitude I just can't understand why your wife left you...

SpongeWorthy

@oheliza44 Wow f that guy.  That is all I have to say.

chiquita928

Ugghh I'm my own TW today! I've been in a grumpy mood all day, and I can't shake it! Blah!

nktrodden826

BusyZee said:

H got sucked into a meeting so we got late for AS. I threw a tantrum. Big one. I feel bad now. *sigh* 

@kerils @crzyforbabies  seriously, what is wrong with people... 

with DS when I was pregnant and having my NT ultrasound done I FREAKED out on the woman working behind the desk because it was taking so long and was so packed it was standing room only for all these pregnant woman. I felt so bad afterwards that I brought her a $15 Starbucks gift card at my AS appt a few weeks later to apologize! 

oheliza44

@SpongeWorthy I just laughed so hard at that gif. I am Golden Girls obsessed. 

MrsLa3

Dcwtada said:

@manillabar I am definitely going to use the word "uteri" in a sentence now. Preferably in a completely random conversational interaction

Since I watch too much Greys:

The term is uteruses -Addison 

LM1007

@oheliza44 Female lawyers in my experiences are the best! 

mj8215

@theweevee how dare this person?! Makes me so mad! But it's good to hear the partner stood up for you. He sounds like a great mentor. 

@oheliza44 I. Can't. Even. So irritating!

theweevee

oheliza44 said:

My TWT is the guy who scheduled a late appointment with me, only to walk out the door when he found out I was female. Somehow not having testicles makes me unable to handle his divorce case. If that is your attitude I just can't understand why your wife left you...

Oh jeez.  That guy probably needs a female lawyer for atmospherics alone.  But frankly, I'd rather have him walk out at the beginning than question every decision made about his case due to underlying bias.

Rotu101

@oheliza44 It would be karma if you represented his wife! What a toolbag! 

@theweevee ugh! I'm so annoyed and angry for you. Being an great mom and career woman are not mutually exclusive!