September 2017 Moms

Let's Talk About In-Laws

Tell me the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do you love them, hate them, or fall somewhere in between? How have the reacted to the news of this pregnancy, if you've even told them yet? If our bitchfest, twatwaffle, and FFFC threads are any indication, I feel like we have some crazy stories lurking out there, and I want to hear them! 



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Re: Let's Talk About In-Laws

  • hatratshatrats member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Photogenic
    @Inanigloo oh yes MIL went ahead and told her entire side of the family last time after we told her we were only telling immediate families at that time (I was only 10w). This time I want to wait until after 1st tri screening, in part bc I know she won't keep her mouth shut. She told me about DHs cousins wife being pregnant when she must have been like 6 or 7 weeks (about the same as me at the time). I seriously doubt we are supposed to know. They still haven't told us. It's going to be a bit awkward telling her so much later after discussing the cousins pregnancy multiple times and me not bringing mine up.
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  • @lap018 Ugh. She sounds wonderful.
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  • @lap018 your MIL sounds like DHs aunt. I feel for you. Those types of personalities are so hard to deal with. 

    @amandarene112; that really sucks your in laws have a clear favorite child. Hopefully they get more excited for your DH as we get closer to September! 
    lap018mrs_tacoswyomama0427Carebella
  • @bridge-and-wall I truly do not understand people that treat their dogs better than they would treat kids. Yes a dog can be a friend and a comfort and what not...but it's an animal at the end of the day. 
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  • Lizlann said:
    *snip*
    MIL has keys to our house so she will literally just come in if we don't answer. One day DH was home sick and she assumed we weren't home so she just came in without knocking or anything. He heard her in the living room and came out of the bedroom wielding a golf iron thinking we had an intruder. There's a tiny part of me that kind of wished for just a moment that he would have cracked her over the head. Would have served her right. I would never walk into her home uninvited and unannounced. Who does that?
    Actually me.  :D MIL gets mad if I knock, so most of the time I let myself in and then yell "hello" so she knows I'm there. She tells me to treat her home as if it was my home. 

    @daniellelynette  I'm sorry about your FIL, but I'm glad you have an amazing MIL!
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  • I used to be much closer to my inlaws but the more time has passed the more they annoy me. 
    last pregnancy my MIL called very single day and would tell me how awful her pregnancies and labors were. When DS came she did nothing at our house. She called us on our way home from the hospital and asked about lunch. I was pretty annoyed with her after that. She tells me the same things over and over again about her job and family issues. It just gets annoying. I quit calling her because she would never let me get a word in. My DH gets upset and says I don't try but I just don't really care honestly. I don't need to talk to her daily. She is not my mother.
    Now my real beef comes with my youngest BIL. He is my least favorite and when DS was born I refused to sign our will until he and his wife were taken off as guardians. My brother died unexpextedly 6 months ago and I didn't hear a word from that BIL or SIL. No I'm sorry, how are you or anything. Didn't come to the funeral, send a card, nada. I was about done. Fast forward a month and I asked for our wedding video that he filmed (this was like the 10th time I had asked) because my brother was on the video and I wanted it. He casually tells me he lost it and will see if he can find it. Again, no remorse or anything. I haven't spoken to him since so family gatherings are awkward, but i don't think I'll ever forgive him. We have a vacation in Florida with my inlaws and I'm dreading spending a week with my BIL and SIL. Oh they also have not acknowledged this pregnancy. 
    Carebellahatrats
  • For the most part my in-laws are awesome. We've had a few hiccups here and there, i.e. I made it very clear that I wouldn't cut DD's hair until she was at least a year old (southern tradition thing and they're not southern lol) and DD went to stay with them for a weekend at around 14 months, long story short I came home to my baby with chopped off bowl cut bangs and a massive cut on her face (according to them she fell and cut her face, not sure how, but it was because she couldn't see from her bangs even though I sent hair bands to pull her hair back!) It literally took everything I had to not cuss them out and I just had to walk away sobbing. 

    I will say that they treat me like a daughter and like me a lot more than my SIL because I let them be involved in our lives. They only live 45 minutes away but will come in an instant to babysit if we need them too or whatever but don't barge in whenever they want.
    Carebellahatrats
  • @lap018 Oh jeez!! That was so sweet of her... nothing like seriously stressing the bride out right before the ceremony. It sounds like she was just trying to create unnecessary drama. Ahh.. the pie, it just sounds so familiar! I really don't get it. Shouldn't she just be happy that you make him happy?! 

    @amandarene112 that's unbelievable! I would have said something back, like "well it's a good thing I didn't ask for your opinion about my dress!" And heaven forbid you have dancing at your wedding. How unusual. Haha, I've never heard of anyone having an issue with a wedding reception because there would be dancing. Especially not parents of the bride or groom.
    I completely agree with you, ever since we knew we were having a boy the first time, I have always told myself that I will go out of my way to make whoever he marries or brings home to meet us, feel comfortable and at home. There's no reason to create drama and competition! Just as long as my son is happy, I am too.
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  • SmashlieSmashlie member
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    I have a love hate relationship with my in laws. So, they are both lovely when they are not together for the most part. But together they are super passive aggressive towards each other and well us, it's awkward as hell. They are very negative in general. They complain about little things. Just stupid things. Like the waitress isn't fast enough to bring us our water, or they messed up something small in our order. Instead of having something fixed and moving on they dwell on it. It's to the point where it's not enjoyable to be around them for extended periods of time. My mother in law likes to play the victim. She will say things out of the blue with no instigation like "Oh you guys probably hate when I make this don't you? (referring to food....and she will repeat herself until you deny it)." Or... "I will just shut up you guys probably hate listening to me talk"...I am talking OUT OF THE BLUE. We will all be enjoying ourselves and it's like she has to put herself in some sort of victim situation where we should all stop and feel sorry for her. I don't play into it. My husband doesn't either anymore. In fact he's gotten to the point where if they say or do something uncalled for he will call them out on the spot. He is very blunt, and he doesn't mind telling you like it is.
    My father in law will make inappropriate "jokes" or "comments" on FB posts that I will comment on. Like a friend of a friend who made their post public instead of private, he has to comment on it. Doesn't know these people! I finally told him if he didn't stop I was going to block him from seeing my posts. He apologized and quit. He thinks he's funny and I know he doesn't mean any harm by it, but these things are not appropriate and certain people will and do take offense by it! But at the end of the day, they love us. They seem to be pretty happy about the LO on the way. They are hoping for a granddaughter. They don't have any yet. Their other child, my SIL has 4 boys, and we have one boy. My SIL has a similar relationship to her parents that we do. Distant but close. We don't live near them so that helps. I will say this though, I feel emotionally closer to them than I do my dad and stepmom. While I was close to them in my later teenage years they have made zero effort to keep in touch with us and stay close after we got married and moved away. Despite the fact that they stay in close touch with my two step sisters and little brother. 
    DS- 7

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