Introduction (child mentioned)

Charligirl28

Hello! New here, not sure if I am in the right place or not. Alright so, I have been married for 2 years (together for 7) and we have been trying for a year. To be honest I have been a little on edge for awhile now. The people in my family are very fertile, not one has ever had any problems getting pregnant, so when it wasn't happening for me I got worried. Each month is like this huge disappointment, and it just kept getting worse the closer I got to a year of trying. Talking with my family didn't work because none of them had gone through it, I was just told to "keep the faith" and that "it would happen", each time I tried to talk about it they acted uncomfortable. I guess it's something you don't talk about. Then my little sister (who has three kids) called to tell me she was pregnant. She was pregnant with her youngest when we started trying. So she has given birth AND gotten pregnant again and in all that time I have had no results. I'm not gonna lie, I kind of hated her for a minute, it was really had to be happy when I want was she has so easily, and I hated myself for crying on the phone when it should be happy news.  Finally after last month I made an appointment with my OBGYN who was very supportive. She ordered blood tests right away and I am scheduled for an ultrasound this week. On one hand she made me feel very optimistic, on the other hand I don't understand why this is so easy for some people and so hard for others. I'm so afraid she will say something is wrong. I did my blood work last week, then got a phone call today saying she wanted to run another test. I don't know what test, i'm concerned something did show up on my bloodwork and that is the reason for this next test. I didn't have time to question further as I was on my way to work. Anywho that is my story, sorry for the long post!

MJDsquared

@Charligirl28 Welcome! I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. Knowing if something is wrong means you can start to treat it, at least! FX that anything that comes up in testing is easy to treat!

MooFish2364

@Charligirl28 it is the same in my family. No history of any sort of fertility troubles. I hear the same things...just relax, it will happen. It is so frustrating, but most people really just don't know what to say because they have no idea what it is like to struggle and deal with overwhelming disappointment month after month. 

It is scary to start testing but hopefully if there there is something wrong they can correct it and you can have a baby. My new RE told me he feels very optimistic about my chances but that doesn't stop me from worrying. I just tell myself to try not to stress too much until I know what I'm dealing with since I'm also in he process of having tons of testing done. 

hoffmanr7

Welcome.  I am sorry you have to be here but glad you found us.  I hope you find the support and comfort you are looking for here...I am sure you will.  GL with your testing.

mountainlady

Welcome! I have one of those families too... even the 50yr Olds are making babies this year  

I try and keep the mantra "my happiness is not diminished by others happiness" going in my baby-obessessed mind, but it's bloody hard! 

FX with the test results!

limeburst

Welcome! One of the hardest things about IF is all the people around us who don't seem to have any trouble getting KU and they just don't get it. I am sorry you are dealing with that. GL with all your testing! 

WildMagelet

Welcome!  It's super hard when the rest of your family seems to have no problem.  My grandma had 7 kids and some of my aunts & uncles and adult cousins ended up with 5 a piece.

I understand your temporary resentment for your sister.  Both my Brother & SIL and Stepsister & BIL are also trying right now and I just hope and pray that we BFP first.  We've been trying the longest (by several months and over a year) and while I'll be ecstatic to be an aunt I don't know how well I'd be able to hide my crushing disappointment if we're the last to conceive.  Anyways, your feelings are both real and valid and if you need to take a breather from the baby talk with her that's totally your right.

Good luck with all of your upcoming testing!  I hope that your stay with us is brief and you're off to a month board in no time

Charligirl28

Thank you for all the positive vibes! It is hard when no one you know has these problems. When we first got married and everyone asked when are you getting pregnant we just sort of laughed it off because we weren't ready, then when they would ask after we started trying it was like we had a secret we couldn't wait to share. Now when people ask (family, friends, coworkers) I just want to shout "hey, i'm working on it!", while trying not to cry. lol I swear, I will never ask anyone that question again (and believe me, I am guilty of it too)! Who knew it could be so hurtful?

funkykey

@Charligirl28 - welcome. I'm sorry for your struggle, and hope you find support on these boards.

When you said: I'm so afraid she will say something is wrong.

My heart went out to you. For a while, I really waffled back and forth between hoping nothing was wrong, there'd be some tests and someone would tell me: "It's just taking you a little longer", which they did between about months 8-11 - and then hoping that yes, something was wrong, and someone could tell me: "Here, take this pill. It will fix everything and you'll get pregnant!"

Anyway, I'm keeping my FX crossed for you. Good luck with your journey! I hope it ends soon.

Charligirl28

@MooFish2364 Thanks for the reply! The standard phrases are frustrating. I'm tired of hearing "just relax, it will happen when you relax". My father told me it was my body's way of telling me it was the right time, I almost slugged him. I also had a friend, the only friend I have told, ask if we were "having BD on the days I was ovulating"....really?

@MJDsquared @hoffmanr7 @Kim41313 Thanks for the encouragement ladies!

@funkykey I totally get what you mean! On one hand it would be great if they could give me a pill and poof pregnancy! On the other hand what if there is no reason and it just doesn't happen? 

@WildMagelet The resentment is hard. You feel like an awful person but that doesn't make it go away.

@MountainLady Thanks for the good thoughts I will try and adopt your mantra into my life! That is what DH says, he doesn't get why I keep comparing myself to every pregnant lady I see.

tops-2

@Charligirl28 Welcome and thanks for sharing
Don't feel bad for the resentment you felt towards your sister.. I've been there and I'm sure most of us have A few weeks ago I found out my niece is pregnant. I cried hysterically for 45 minutes. There's no fairness to any of this, so all we can do is vent and support each other