FTM questions for STMs Sat March 4

slaven

This thread will be created on every Saturday for questions FTMs may have for STMs, or even questions STMs may have. 

Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point during the week if your question does not fit within a current discussion. 

slaven

I started this because I have 2 questions:

What is the RH shot? I haven't had my first appointment yet, but being in Korea I want to make sure the drs here take care of things right. DH and I are both A+ blood type if that means anything.

Also, What do you do for bra shopping? I'm already busting out of my pre pregnancy bras. I was thinking of buying some nursing bras, one or two as I increase in size. I plan to breast feed so I think having a variety of sizes on hand when that time comes will help with size fluctuations and such. Also so that I don't have to go out and buy nursing bras with a new LO and so that I don't buy new bras now and nursing bras later on. I'm a 32DDD/F pre pregnancy so bra shopping is already hard. 

janvier112

My question is about lack of symptoms. I just hit the 5th week and have had relatively few symptoms. Is this normal or is the "fun stuff" coming later? 

kschref

*Disclaimer.  I am not a doctor*

RH is basically a protein on the surface of red blood cells.  If you blood type is A+, B+, O+, or AB+, you  are RH+ and have the protein.  If your blood type is A-, B-, AB-, or O-, you are RH- and don't have the protein  Normally the blood system of a mother and the blood system of a baby don't mix.  If they were to, however, and the mother was RH- while the baby was RH+, the mother's body could begin creating antibodies that would attack those RH+ blood cells.  So, RH- mothers are typically given RhoGAM a shot around 28 weeks to prevent "sensitization" - to keep a mother's RH- body from creating those antibodies.  Or at any point in the pregnancy where the doctor feels it might be a good idea.  At birth things get messier so most docs will give a shot after the birth as well if the baby is RH+.   I am O- and my husband is AB+ so we have a 75% chance of an RH+ baby and a 25% chance of a RH- baby.

slaven

@kschref Thanks. I'll talk to my dr about it anyway, but I was reading that it was related to blood types however the article I found didn't mention the specific blood types for RH+ or - which confused me. 

ArtificialRed

I was encouraged at the maternity store, and by others to not buy nursing bras until after delivery. My boobs changed a lot in the first tri, a little in the third, and then a lot after delivery. If you want to have something on hand for the first couple of weeks, nursing tanks and soft nursing bras are great. You'll want the flexibility because for a little while when your milk comes in, your boobs can get absolutely huge. I know you probably want the support of structured bras, but those first couple of weeks you'll be resting anyway. 

ArtificialRed

I have a couple of bravado nursing tanks and those come sized with a small band and cup range for flexibility, while also offering more support than a shelf bra tank. I would buy those based generously on your third tri size. 

ETA just looked these up, the range is more narrow than I remember, but they do offer a little more flexibility 

https://www.bravadodesigns.com/us/products/dream-nursing-tank?variant=13777607239

kschref

@slaven I'm no help because mostly what I did is buy bras that I liked and either convert them myself or have them converted by the store into nursing bras - you can also do this with tank tops!  It is not hard to convert bras and there are a lot of articles on how to do it!  I do have a few actual nursing bras - I tried a ton - and my favorite was this one.  You can get with or without an underwire.  All the sizes must not be listed here because when I started nursing I ballooned up to a 38G (Normally DD around delivery).  I also agree with the waiting bit because I was one size right up until I delivered and when my milk came in a few days later, it was a whole different ballgame!

ArtificialRed

I personally was back to my pre-baby bra size within a few months. I mostly lived in shelf clip-down tanks at that point because it was enough for my 34Cs. I typically preferred tanks under whatever non-nursing shirt I was wearing. It added a layer of modesty I was personally more comfortable with for nursing in public. Only if it was super hot did I really prefer a nursing shirt and nursing bra (cuts down on layers). 

kschref

@janvier112 - Haha, the fun bit is, I think things can really happen at any time.  I guess I don't know anybody who only gets morning sickness in the third trimester though.  My pregnancy things that show up later are pregnancy gingivitis - yup, only when I'm pregnant and goes away when baby comes.  Weirdest thing.  With my daughter I had migraines almost daily throughout the 2nd and 3rd trimester - those stopped the day she was born.  I also sometimes get discolored skin patches.  With my son I had a random patch on my neck that I thought was dirt and scrubbed really hard until I realized my skin had actually changed color.  About a month after my son was born, it just flaked off.

In terms of the normal stuff, I think things like breast tenderness, nausea, etc. can really strike at any point in first tri especially.  I've had many friends who don't feel many symptoms until 8+ weeks.    Also totally possible you may not have any of them!  I think it's just different for everybody and for me even from pregnancy to pregnancy.

ArtificialRed

janvier112 said:

My question is about lack of symptoms. I just hit the 5th week and have had relatively few symptoms. Is this normal or is the "fun stuff" coming later? 

I didn't have much happen with DS until about week 6, and then it kind of blindsided me. But like @kschref said, it can be so different. There are those irritating, ahem, lucky!, women who feel great the whole nine months. 

kyersten

Do pregnancy symptoms come and go? I've been freaked out a few times because all of a sudden I have no symptoms, then by the next day they've come back.

Also, vitamins! I've been taking a prenatal a long time (TTC for 21 months) and realized tonight I don't have the recommended calcium in my prenatal alone. I take vitamin d3 (because I was deficient), my prenatal, and a probiotic. I bought calcium citraite 1000mg tonight. Is there anything else I should be looking at or taking?

(edited to add question) 

kschref

@kyersten - For me symtoms do come and go.  This time not so much so far.  I remember being so freaked out about it when I was pregnant with my son that I kept loose notes about what symptoms I was having on what days so if I got pregnant again, I could go back and tell myself, "See!  It happened before!"

No help on the vitamins.  I just do a generic vegan prenatal without iron and take something called Floradix, which is a liquid iron, because taking it in the pill-form always leads to (TMI) constipation for me.

slaven

@artificialred since we're due in Nov and we'll be in NY I don't think I'll get too hot the first few months haha but thanks for the tip.

janvier112

@ArtificialRed @kschref thanks for the advice! I know every pregnancy is different, but I figured I'd see what was or wasn't common.

gipfish

janvier112 said:

My question is about lack of symptoms. I just hit the 5th week and have had relatively few symptoms. Is this normal or is the "fun stuff" coming later? 

The most common week for morning sickness to start is week 6, but of course everybody is different.

Dumbgurl04

I used a sports bra or just a bra that has elastic in it.  Usually though once I got home my bra came off.  Lol 

jess0211

Recommend your favorite, most helpful, pregnancy book, please! As a FTM and someone who feels better with information I am looking for a good pregnancy book  Do you STM recommend any? 

kschref

@jess0211 - I'll have to go look and see if I read any.  I know I read a lot about BFing because I really wanted to do it (was not able to with my son, but did with my daughter - but that's a whole other story).  I gave this book to my husband though more or less as a joke, but he actually really liked it.  It's pretty funny and he said it helped him a lot when I was pregnant with our son.  I just left it on the back of the toilet and I think he read it solely during bathroom trips.  

kschref

Alright y'all, don't laugh at me now.  I just went down to see what pregnancy books we had in the house and had a little trip down memory lane.  My favorite pregnancy book was...."Pregnancy for Dummies".  Lol!  I liked it because it was straightforward and practical and has charts and graphs and I'm a data nerd.  There are a lot of humorous books too for sure, but in terms of just plain information, that was my favorite.

WorkingMom562

@janvier112 Do not stress about this at all! Honestly, the only symptoms I ever experienced in my pregnancies was being Extra tired and some food aversions/not very hungry. Closer to birth I had some back pain, but I never had any of the "usual" symptoms.  

I just consider myself lucky! 

c+mpeachey

Hello....just thought I'd let you know not to worry about symptoms. Mine dont usually appear till week 8 or 9. And then it is really hard to ignore them.  

MrsBunz

Just an extra detail about the Rh shot for those it might interest: most providers will give RhoGAM to all Rh- moms regardless of dad's blood type. It's the safest way to make sure mom doesn't become Rh sensitized. 

@slaven I am also a bit on the chestier side (I made it to a 32H/I with DS). Motherhood had some nursing bras in S/M/L that I found stretchy enough for my boobs but tight enough for my ribs. I also love the VS body lounge bra for later breastfeeding. No underwire but supportive, and the cups were flexible enough to just be pushed aside. 

sarahunderthesea

@jess0211 I loved Your Pregnancy Week by Week, it helped me feel connected and informed about what was happening to the baby growing inside of me. It also had exercise, eating, things to do/think about tidbits that I really enjoyed. Pregnancy Sucks was a commical month by month read about what to expect and do during pregnancy. 

sarahunderthesea

@janvier112 I didn't realize I was expecting DD until 12 weeks! My period was unpredictable so I blamed it on that. But at 12 weeks, I took 1 bite of an oreo and felt like I was dying and knew without a test what was wrong. Looking back there were other signs, frequent potty breaks, wooziness out in the heat, exhaustion that I blamed on working outside in FL summer. For me it just hit later than most ladies, hoping you miss out on the MS

baker1jm2

I would DEF wait on nursing bras. You're breasts can change a lot when your milk comes in.  I was freaked bc no one warned me about them becoming engorged right after birth.  I was balling bc they were so big..like literally bowling balls....once my milk was established they went down in a few days. I would maybe just have 1 sports Bra style bc they are more flexible size wise to start and then grab more after baby comes. I had to return stuff bc I thought I was being smart and planning ahead

jess0211

@sarahunderthesea @kschref  thank you  both! I think I may get that book for DH too

Tourmalily

I have a question! I'll be calling my Dr. tomorrow to let them know I've had a positive test (....or three, or four...) and I'm curious, what's a typical time frame for first checkup? By the reckoning of the great and powerful pregnancy phone apps, I am 4 weeks and 4 days. By some miracle, I actually knew when my last period started (I pretty much n e v e r remember this). I'm going crazy with the waiting already, time has been moving so slowly for me since Wednesday.

jess0211

@Tourmalily FTM as well but when I called my doc they said around 8 weeks.

Tourmalily

@jess0211 omg how am I supposed to wait that long I can't take this

kschref

@Tourmalily - Typical where I am is 8 weeks. Though I have had friends who don't get to go in until somewhere around 10-12 weeks as well. That wait until the first appointment sucks so bad for sure. 

jess0211

@Tourmalily right there with ya on the wait! My only small relief is my PCP sent me for beta last week and again on Monday

ArtificialRed

I think I was almost 9 weeks when I had my first appointment with DS. I was so put off by that. Turns out it's super common though. (I, for one, don't think it should be, but what do I know?)

adirat

FWIW, my doctor told me the main reason that the standard of care is to have your first appointment around 8 weeks is because the earlier you go in, the likelier you are to get false bad news (namely, not being able to see the heartbeat). Most people don't have a good idea of when they ovulated, so if you had people start coming in at what they think is six weeks and they didn't see a heartbeat, they might freak out even though everything is fine and they just ovulated later than expected. By 8 weeks, everyone should see the heartbeat. 

heatherdubrow

@slaven since you have a positive blood type you don't need to worry about the shot. And definitely wait on nursing bras...my boobs were way bigger nursing than pregnant.

@kyersten I didn't feel real symptoms with either of my pregnancies until 8 weeks so I wouldn't put too much stock into it now. But I get the anxiety

@jess0211 I actually liked what to expect. It's broken down by weeks so it's kind of fun to see what's changing and it really does prepare you for everything. I also loved the womanly art of breastfeeding for post partum

janvier112

Thank you ladies for the help! FWIW I bought What to Expect, and for DH a book called "My Boys Can Swim!" that covers pregnancy from a First Time Dad's perspective.

DuchessOfCambridge

Hope it's ok that I'm reviving this since it's still in the same week. This is a premature question but, STMs, I'm obsessed with pram-type strollers (with the bassinet that converts to toddler seating). What are your thoughts? I've seen some where you basically click in the car seat and that seems more practical...but I really have my heart set on the bassinet style!

slaven

@DuchessOfCambridge I'm obsessed with pram type strollers but they're so expensive. I'm a FTM so others may have a better input, but the conclusion I came to was that 1. the baby can only fit in it for a short amount of time, 2. we're having winter babies and depending on where you live, will you actually take a baby out in the cold?, 3. Will you use your stroller for long walks/main mode of baby transportation or is it from the car, into the store, and back out? (etc). I've seen women on youtube and such that love their pram strollers but they live in cities where they walk everywhere and never drive. If you're already a person who walks a lot then it may be worth it. In our case, I don't walk a lot now (especially when it's cold) so I really don't expect myself to magically become a walking enthusiast when LO arrives. There are some studies that leaving LO in an infant car seat for long periods of time is not good, however in the beginning (when the bassinet part can be used) how often/long will you actually be out with a newborn? Also lots of strollers have full reclines in the seats for infant use. Just add some head support thing and maybe winter bunting. 

ChickadDeedee

@DuchessOfCambridge, my sister got the UppaBabby Vista when her LO was born last Spring. She said she loves the stroller, but rarely ever used the bassinet feature since it was just easier to snap the car seat in. I've gone back can forth about the Vista vs the Cruz (one comes with a bassinet and the other doesn't), and have pretty much decided that I am going with the Vista because I plan to use the bassinet as the baby's main sleeping place for the first few months.

slaven

@ChickadDeedee You probably already know this, but I just wanted to point out for @DuchessOfCambridgeand anyone else that may read this that not all stroller bassinet attachments are safe for overnight sleeping. The Uppababy Vista is approved but I wouldn't want someone to think that they all are. As usual, do your research. That's something I had to learn because the Vista was the first stroller I saw with a bassinet part but then learned it's specifically tested to be approved for overnight sleeping but I don't think all bassinet attachments are. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@slaven Those are a lot of good things to think about. I actually live in a major city so walking will be how I will mainly be getting around, I walk everywhere. Finding parking is annoying and expensive, so will be avoiding it unless I'm going somewhere I know I will be able to park.

@ChickadDeedee the Mamas and Papas Urbo2 is the one I'm drooling over but it is absurdly expensive, I definitely cannot have it haha. But the rose gold!