FTM questions for STMs Sat March 4

meatytugboat

I'm a fourth time mom and I have to say these are all very good questions. If you will be loading your stroller in and out of cars or buses  or trains then you need a light weight easy to collapse stroller. You really have no idea how much stuff a baby needs just to be out for an hour. Also it's most likely that after baby is born you won't be going anywhere for a little while, it's a major adjustment period. Also stroller with a whole bunch of feature and add one can actually be more a problem than anything else. With baby gear I suggest opting for the simpler practical models. The more pieces, gadgets, features, options the harder the maintenance. Believe me, when baby gets here you won't even have time to shave your legs let alone take apart and wash and put back together baby gear. qlso, you will go through a few strollers so don't spend a fortune on one thinking it's the only one you'll need. 

elsieisamoocow

@ChickadDeedee and @DuchessOfCambridge and anyone else thinking about strollers, I highly recommend the Uppababy Vista! It's pricey, but I am so glad we got it with our first. We used the bassinet on the stroller for a few weeks when we would go on long walks, but then ended up leaving it at home on the bassinet stand that uppababy sells (that also converts into a laundry basket sorter). The Mesa car seat clicks in so easily, as well as the toddler seat. My big thing in choosing the Vista over the Cruz is that the Vista converts into a true double stroller now, and I knew we would (hopefully) have two close enough in age to take advantage of it. The Vista folds so incredibly easily, and can stand up while folded, which is nice. The never-flat and large tires are a big bonus too. Okay, that's my infomercial for the Vista

heatherdubrow

@DuchessOfCambridge I had a pram attachment for my stroller and never used it. It was so much easier to just snap in the car seat and go. Plus the pram has a pretty low weight limit so not really worth it.

ArtificialRed

My stroller suggestion is one that has a seat you can flip to face forward or backwards and recline fully both directions. Bassinets are so tempting, but I couldn't afford one with DS, so I did without. I realized in hindsight how little I wouldn't bothered with it anyway. But a seat that flips directions is great for all ages. Being able to take the seat off and click in the infant seat is great for running errands where you'll be in and out of the car often. When we went on actual walks, our preference was to not use the infant seat and lay the stroller seat flat (or to wear him).

kschref

My #1 stroller rule even for our double is that I have to be able to open and collapse it with one hand. Even though I babywear a lot and had an infant seat to contain the littlest, there are random times I find myself holding somebody while trying to get set up. I think I was in BRU 8 months pregnant trying every single one with one hand, lol. 

ChickadDeedee

@slaven, thanks for clarifying. I did do my research and that is why I'm choosing the UppaBaby. But you are right, not all bassinets for travel systems are overnight sleep approved.

pawcall

@DuchessOfCambridge - living in a big city and walking a ton, you may really love the bassinet.  I live in the suburbs and use my stroller a lot (for my 6 year old, still) but wouldn't have gotten use out of a bassinet.  I did, however, use and love my one and only stroller for over 5 years.  I never bought a second/lighter stroller and never felt like I needed one.  I got rid of the stroller a year or so ago when my son went into a Pediatric Wheelchair (which at his age is really just a giant stroller).


I agree with @kschref - my biggest "must" is one handed closing/opening.  I loved my city mini for this and honestly, will probably get another city mini this time around.

DuchessOfCambridge

Thanks STMs (and FTMs) for your stroller insight! Seems like I've got more researching to do but luckily there's plenty of time for that

ETA: @ChickadDeedee @elsieisamoocow I just looked up the uppababy vista and it's so cute! It is the same style and price range as the mamas and papas urbo 2 so that makes me feel better. All the stroller research in the coming months!

heatherdubrow

@DuchessOfCambridge I have something similar to the uppababy vista (it's the city select) and I'm obsessed with it! So many configurations and you can turn it into a double. You wouldn't go wrong with the vista!

slaven

@heatherdubrow  I'm totally thinking of the city select since we're going to try and have kids back to back (or as DH says "put in an express lane") but wasn't sure how it looks in person as a single. The 2017 model is really nice though. I don't like the Vista as a double because of lack of leg room for the upper seat but that's what happens when it's shorter front to back.  

heatherdubrow

@slaven I'll try to take a picture of mine in single mode later. I love it, there are a ton of extras you can get for it and it has a huge basket under the seats. My very tall four year old sits in the back seat all the time with no leg room issues at all.

DuchessOfCambridge

@heatherdubrow I see it's called the Baby Jogger City Select, can it be used as a jogging stroller as well? If so I'm sold! Like @slaven we are also hoping to have children back to back.

heatherdubrow

@DuchessOfCambridge oddly, no. The brand is baby jogger, but they don't sell any jogging strollers as far as I know! 
I have a bob for running/walking my dogs though and am obsessed with it! It pushes like a dream

DuchessOfCambridge

@heatherdubrow what a deceiving name. But I guess it'll be December before I'm really ready to be jogging so if I really want one come spring I can get one then.

Question about exercising - I run but I also love barre, yogalates, and cardio step. I'm scared to do them right now because they all involve abs and I'm worried that'll do something bad. I'm pretty sure this is a silly concern...right?

jess0211

@DuchessOfCambridge I had the same concern and went down the google rabbit hole.  Here is one article I found  https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/abs-exercises

heatherdubrow

@DuchessOfCambridge I did barre all through my last pregnancy and am currently doing barre and yoga. Abs are totally fine to do. Once you hit the 20 week mark you can no longer lay on your back but otherwise it's ok to do ab stuff. Keep doing what you enjoy and just modify as you need to. My instructors are great with offering modifications.

kissthesky32

@heatherdubrow and I are stroller twins. Baby Jogger and BOB lover here. We only have the single Baby Jogger (City Mini), but have an attachment that lets my 4 year old stand on the back by the wheels. We have a double BOB that I keep in my car and use for everything with my two kids. I also have a cheap (free during some special) BRU umbrella stroller for when I just have one kid or we're somewhere where space is an issue (ball games, airports, etc).

@DuchessOfCambridge My doctor told me to keep doing whatever exercise it is I have been doing. The restrictions come later in pregnancy. Blood volume increases even in early pregnancy though, so you might get more winded than usual or get light-headed, so know when to slow down or rest.

MrsBunz

@DuchessOfCambridge Baby jogger used to have jogging strollers, but they discontinued all of their ones designed for jogging by 2015 (because that makes sense). We have 2 Baby joggers, and while both are discontinued, you maybe able to find them second hand or on Amazon. We have the Vue for daily use, it's like an umbrella and a full sized stroller had a wonderful baby! I love it, and we have a pram insert for it, so we will hopefully use that more with our cold weather baby. We also have their one of their Performance series for jogging. 

jess0211

Someone please stop me. I just read an article about skincare and hair products (shampoo etc) during pregnancy and how some can be harmful. I've completely jumped down a rabbit hole now and am freaking out about my makeup, shampoo, conditioner etc. Do I really need to be this concerned? I currently feel like I need to throw out every product I own and logically this seems ridiculous but crazy pregnancy brain is making crazy. Help!

hopeful87-2

@jess0211 I'm not an expert on this topic by any means but the way I look at it is that we all survived and I don't think our mothers thought about half of the precautions we take now. The advice i received from my OBGYN who has three kids of her own is that stress is also bad for the baby, probably worse than a lot of the things we try to avoid regularly in pregnancy. If you deprive yourself of too much and force yourself to make unreasonable lifestyle changes that's not good either. It's not everyone's style but my motto for my first pregnancy was "ignorance is bliss". Obviously I avoided things that I was told specifically not to do (drinking heavily, smoking etc) but besides that I lived life, tried to stay calm and cut people off when they started to tell me about horror birth stories, babies born with rare diseases/disabilities etc. (it really is amazing how much people want to share these things-- and its SO not helpful to an already nervous new mom!). So take a deep breathe, step away from Google and try to stay calm ( I know, easier said than done!) but remember We want your baby to soak up all your positive zen energy

DuchessOfCambridge

@jess0211 I don't have a good answer for this because I feel like it's a very personal choice. My dr told me all the food stuff but she didn't say anything about beauty products, so I may ask at my appointment Monday, but don't plan on changing anything right now. If you're really worried about it, I'm pretty sure the organix brand doesn't have sulfate in it and better still, Beauty Counter is supposed to be great for pregnancy, I know a few moms who switched to it while they were pregnant and now sell/still use it - though I'm not huge into MLM. 

jess0211

@Hopeful87 @DuchessOfCambridge thank you both!!!! I think I just jumped down a crazy rabbit hole and need to step away from google. You both made very valid points and I really appreciate it bc DH was not understanding my momentary freak out. @DuchessOfCambridge  I generally use sulfate free hair products anyway because of my curly hair...suflates and curls don't mix. But it's not a consistent thing for me. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@jess0211 it happens! Honestly I just love how soft my shampoo/conditioner makes my hair soft too much to give it up! 

hopeful87-2

.... On another note a STM question for other STMs: after having already experienced birth, who is planning a natural birth?

 *TW*(I don't want to freak any FTMs out). Last time I was FULLY planning on getting an epidural but literally as they were getting ready to place it they told me my platelets were too low and I had to have a natural birth. I am super freaked out by the epidural now (irrational, I know) and think I will go no meds again this time. My only worry is if I need to have a C section last minute (this has happened to a few of my friends) then they have to knock me out completely. Do any STMs that have gone med free have thoughts about this? Will you go Med free again despite the pain? Just looking for some insight bc I never thought I would go unmedicated so I didn't even think about it last time.

hopeful87-2

@jess0211 trust me, I have been down some rabbit holes myself! Google is really evil during pregnancy. 

kschref

@jess0211 - The chemical I do avoid during pregnancy is Oxybenzone.  Specifically, I make sure I use a sunscreen that does not contain it.  In general, I don't worry about those things but that one I do avoid.  I wouldn't worry about those things too much now, but definitely put in a call to your OB or wait until the first appointment and have a list of things to ask about if it is giving you anxiety.

kschref

@Hopeful87 - I have had 2 med-free birth experiences.  There was no question in my mind that I would do it again with my second, but I will say it was much more intense.  With my first, I actively pushed for about 2 hours - I had a few moments in between each contraction to break and regroup.  With my daughter, I actively pushed 3 times, lol.  Once I hit transition, the contractions came without a break so I couldn't really center myself the same way as I did before and I ended up putting my poor doula in a headlock yelling, "Don't leave me!".  But, from transition to baby in my arms was probably 15-20 minutes.  I didn't tear the second time (second degree tear the first time) and so after delivery I actually felt really good and was able to get up and move around fairly soon after we were all cleaned up.  Now that I know what a second delivery is like compared to a first delivery, when all goes as expected, I will most likely go med-free again this time.  But I don't think I would handle it as well if I didn't have a doula.  She keeps me sane and on track and without her it would be a much more difficult experience for me.

That being said, I would also take baby's position into account.  Mine tend to go head down early and stay that way(much to my discomfort as they have both given me sciatica pain), but if that was not the case and we were not sure if I would be able to deliver vaginally, I would make decisions about med-free or not probably at the last minute I could comfortably do so.

heatherdubrow

@Hopeful87 I am epidural all the way... my first was vacuumed out and my second got stuck in my pelvis. Do not want to feel that...

DuchessOfCambridge

So going off of this, question from a FTM to STMs+: how does giving birth feel when you have an epidural? Does it feel like anything? Do you still feel pressure but not pain? What still hurts? Tell me everything. 

slaven

@jess0211 The only skincare thing I've read is a real no no is Retinol. If you're interested though the Juice Beauty line is pregnancy safe. 

elsieisamoocow

@Hopeful87 I've had 2 epidurals and am totally doing it again this time. It allowed me to relax and sleep while I waited to dilate enough to push, so that I had the energy to push when the time came. 

@DuchessOfCambridge in my experiences, I could feel some tightness from the big contractions, and then there is an unmistakeable "ready to push" feeling when the time comes. While pushing, I could feel lots of pressure, on the verge of pain but it wasn't too painful, just uncomfortable. You still have to do a lot of work to get the baby out, but it's more bearable for sure.

WorkingMom562

@Hopeful87 with my 1st I had an epidural and my second was medication free. I never ever thought I would do a natural birth, but now that I have I honestly don't know which I want to do this time around.  It wasn't natural by choice, by the time I got to the hospital and checked out I was already 9 cm. I am not afraid of the epidural, but I think I do like the idea of being able to move around a little sooner without it. Although the thought of that pain again does not excite me at all. I'm hoping that with my 3rd, the baby will just kind of fall out.  

@DuchessOfCambridge for me I remember some tightness and I just pushed when they told me to.  I didn't have a feeling of needing to push like I did the natural birth.  And I don't really remember feeling very much pain.  They were very different experiences. 

gipfish

@DuchessOfCambridge The epidural can have different effects on different people. One thing I didn't realize before my epidural was that it is affected by gravity. If you're not pushing yet and laying on your left side, after a while it all flows to your left side and you can feel the pain of contractions on your right. I kept having to get the nurse and DH to turn me back and forth, haha. 

Personally, it made me entirely numb from about the belly button down to my toes. I didn't even feel any pressure "down there." However, I guess because I'm so short and DD reached up to my ribcage even when she was crowning, I could still feel the contractions in the top of my uterus. They were painful, but not as bad as feeling the whole contraction before I got the epidural. It was good to feel them because I knew exactly when to push.

The thing was figuring out how to push, which is weird when you can't feel the muscles you're using. The nurse was really cool and did all these different exercises with me to get me using the correct muscles. The one that worked best was when she held one end of a rope and I held the other and we literally played tug-of-war during a contraction. Once we had done that a few times, I got it figured out and could push on my own. With the pain minimized, I actually enjoyed the challenge of pushing. It was like a game (a very exhausting game) where the prize is a baby!

Karrotelle

@Hopeful87 I will be having another med free natural birth. My last was by choice and I plan to for this one. I don't regret it at all. I was home 3 hours after giving birth because I didn't have an epidural. Worth it to me!

heatherdubrow

@DuchessOfCambridge with my first delivery they gave me too much and I was completely numb. The nurses had to tell me when to push.
My second delivery the epidural was perfect. I could feel the intense pressure and need to push but none of the pain. And being able to feel the need to push really helped me get her out (she was big, and stuck in my pelvis)

PhillymommaX2

I didn't feel a thing with either of my two births. It made pushing a little tricky bc I was completely numb but the nurses helped me along. I only pushed for 30 mins with #1 and less then 5 mins with #2 so it didn't hamper anything. I thoroughly enjoyed not feeling a dam thing

matika88

@elsieisamoocow Yes! Another Uppababy Vista lover over here. For multiple reasons. The Mesa car seat works seamlessly with it and has great safety ratings. Even though it's a little wide, it maneuvers so easily. The basket is the biggest I have ever seen on a stroller. When my DS was an infant I would just click him in and go out and do my shopping with the stroller's basket. The carseat and toddler seat can face forwards and backwards. And since you can add a second seat I will be able to get full use when baby #2 arrives!

TallMomma29

@DuchessOfCambridge if they give you one of those buttons to push if you are feeling to much pain (which gives you more of the drug), be careful not to push it too much bc as others have said, it's really helpful to be able to feel the pressure to help with pushing!  With my first my epidural was perfect and I felt intense pressure when it was time to push but not pain, with the second I didn't push the button at all (wanting the same experience) and it got really painful all of a sudden and I pushed the button too many times... by the time baby was ready to come out I was numb and they had to tell me when to push.  It turned out the baby was 10lbs2oz which helps explain why it was so painful when baby was moving down.  :-o

Tbm1124

STM here.  I opted for an epidural for my first and it was great while it lasted but since I was slow to progress, the nurse suggested she "back off it a little". I learned later she completely took off all meds (or whatever you would call it).  By the time it was time to push, I was med free.  It was 2 hours of active labor and I didn't want to be completely med free.  I really hope I don't have that nurse this time around.  She was mean to me during labor (comments that I wasn't doing it right, rolling her eyes).  I can't say what the epidural felt like during pushing, but during contractions I could feel the tightening and pressure and (TMI) fluid getting "pushed out".  But no real pain.  

Tbm1124

Also for strollers, take note of how small it folds down to.  I definitely didn't note that with my first and our stroller is soooo huge folded up.  I preferred the strollers that the car seat can clip into.  So easy with infants.