Weekend chat 3/4 - 3/5

hp_momma

@chickyclg I only have girls so I do question if 3 is worse because of the sassyness. Like @vrj0522 said, her DS was worse at 2. I guess I'll find out since this LO is a boy. 
Of course you have B/G twins so you can be the true test subject!

And yes @vrj0522 4yr olds are like a new sweet child suddenly emerged! 

Jens_Hoes

@OmegaRose3 I think it totally depends on the relationship. 
There are males I can think of who it would be weird for me if they touched my belly, but they are all outside of my family. All family it wouldn't be weird for, but I'm close with my family and my husbands. 

vrj0522

OmegaRose3 said: 

Random
Asking here, although not weekend related...DH and I don't really agree so what are your opinions on male family members  (i.e. dads, brothers, etc) touching your belly while pregnant? Weird, not weird, depends on the relationship?

Not weird as long as it's my family members. Weird if it's his.

hp_momma

@OmegaRose3 I can't see any of my male family members actually touching my belly, but I feel like it would be weird if it was my FIL, or BILs... 

BeachMommy2B

@OmegaRose3 I get stabby if anyone other than Fiancé and DD touch my belly. I tolorate my mom, because I know how much it means to her. I would probably tolorate my stepdad and brother if they tried (but that would be a rare occasion). I don't like being touched period, and everyone knows this. 

thistlenweeds

@OmegaRose3 I think depends on the relationship. So far nobody except my husband has touched my belly. But I wouldn't mind if my father in law asked to touch it, we have a great relationship. My side of the family is on another continent altogether so they're not touching anything.

OmegaRose3

@BeachMommy2B this is kind of how I am and my DH's 14yo half brother is constantly trying to touch my belly and drives me nuts and it just seems weird to me that he'd want to so DH and I got to talking about it and I guess he finds it odd that my brother and father would probably never touch my belly (like you said @hp_momma I just cant see that one happening) and didn't with DD, but sees why it would bug me for little brother to constantly be groping my belly.
Like I get it with female family membets slightly more and typically they ask instead of reaching for my stomach before I can get through the door, but still...I just don't like being touched

kns1988

OmegaRose3 said:

Random
Asking here, although not weekend related...DH and I don't really agree so what are your opinions on male family members  (i.e. dads, brothers, etc) touching your belly while pregnant? Weird, not weird, depends on the relationship?

I'd say it depends on the relationship. I'm not close to my dad and only see him once a year, so it'd be weird if he did it. I am close to my cousin, though, and if he gave a quick touch after saying "hi" I'd probably think it was sweet. We're a year apart and like brother and sister.

But any family member that wants to sit there for more than a second with their hand on my stomach... nope nope nope. I let my mom feel the kicks once, and she really appreciated it, but I'm just not a touchy person. 

OmegaRose3

@thistlenweeds I think the asking part makes a huge difference too...would it strike you as odd if your FIL just came up and grabbed your belly all the time without any warning? 

kns1988

@OmegaRose3, just saw your last post and I would definitely be uncomfortable if someone on DH's side were trying to touch my stomach, especially if it's not a one time thing. Could you just tell the kid you don't like being touched? It'd probably be good for him to learn. 

thistlenweeds

@OmegaRose3 oh absolutely. Saw your update that it's a teenager on your husband's side, that would be very weird to me. I would not be comfortable with that at all.

KMD1106

We are still finishing up DD's new room. I'm hoping to be very close to done tomorrow so she can move in next weekend. 

pshaortao

You and me both @MrsFox2008. DD just had her 2.5 half birthday and she has recently started testing us a lot more. She is also starting to get very I do it. Including ckimbinh up her own high chair, car seat from outside the car (yeah no), trying to dress herself with absolutely no help, even doing her own diaper changes. I love shes trying but ugh I have no patience for some of these.

KMD1106

I agree that 3 is tough. I love seeing DD being more independent and her imaginative play is so fun to watch, but it is definitely challenging. We've had several meltdowns because she wants to do it herself, but can't quite do it. She's also into yelling, "No!" when we ask her to do things lately. She still usually ends up doing what we ask after giving us some sass first. Overall, being able to have real conversations, hear made up stories, and watch her play with friends makes 3 more fun than bad, but it definitely has it moments. 

redheeler

pshaortao said:

You and me both @MrsFox2008. DD just had her 2.5 half birthday and she has recently started testing us a lot more. She is also starting to get very I do it. Including ckimbinh up her own high chair, car seat from outside the car (yeah no), trying to dress herself with absolutely no help, even doing her own diaper changes. I love shes trying but ugh I have no patience for some of these.

This does stop soon, DS was very "I do it" around 2.5 and that stopped a few months later, mainly when he developed the language to say "help" when he needed it, some things I'm ok with though, like I have a low sedan so climbing into his car seat is fine and actually a help to me right now, he never wanted to dress himself though, but that could be because he'd rather be naked lol

OmegaRose3

@kns1988 @thistlenweeds I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it weird that a teenaged boy would want to touch my belly...he's the baby of the family and doesn't understand boundaries (they are also way more open of a family) so I'm going to have to find a nice way to tell him I'm not comfortable with it. When I was pregnant with DD he tried to twice and I used the excuse of I'm trying to eat and that I was burning up and didn't want anyone even standing close to me

WombThereItIs

pshaortao said:

You and me both @MrsFox2008. DD just had her 2.5 half birthday and she has recently started testing us a lot more. She is also starting to get very I do it. Including ckimbinh up her own high chair, car seat from outside the car (yeah no), trying to dress herself with absolutely no help, even doing her own diaper changes. I love shes trying but ugh I have no patience for some of these.

We are at 2 years and 4 months and that is my life right now. Everything takes forever and probably ends with a fit anyway. 

@OmegaRose3 gender has nothing to do with it for me. You touch the belly and you die. 

bacorrea

@MrsFox2008 I think it's just mainly a balance of consistency and picking your battles. For instance, DD dresses herself everyday. I don't care if she doesn't match as long as she is wearing appropriate clothing for the weather outside. It gives her a sense of independence and she loves picking out her clothes and getting dressed by herself. 

On the other hand food is a constant battle in this house. Thankfully I don't have to worry about weight, but it's is still frustrating. This is probably where I stand my ground 110%. She has to try something at least once. I don't make things I know she won't eat, but for instance we had tilapia the other night. She would not eat it and I told her that she loves tilapia and she had to eat one bite or no snacks. She eventually caved, ate the one bite, remember she loved it, and ate all the fish I gave her. Sometimes she only eats the one bite, and that's ok with me, as long as she tried it.

We do a lot of "time outs/breaks" no longer then 2 minutes, but this is especially helpful if she is throwing a fit. I pick her up and take her to the room and put her on the bed and tell her whenever she is ready to behave she can come out. I think the biggest key is to not threaten XYZ if you can't follow through. 

We are still working on it, but generally she is a good listener. It also helps to remember she is still only two. Sometimes I forget and I have to apologize for losing my cool or expecting too much out of her.

Parenting is hard y'all. 

bacorrea

@OmegaRose3 none of my brothers/dad have touched my belly ever. It's so annoying that people think this is acceptable when you're pregnant. Like hey, do I just walk up and touch some hot guys abs? No. Boundaries people.

kns1988

Is there anyone that has to put the car seat behind the drivers or passengers seat instead of in the middle? How do you feel about that? I imagine people with multiples or twins have to do it. . 

bacorrea

kns1988 said:

Is there anyone that has to put the car seat behind the drivers or passengers seat instead of in the middle? How do you feel about that? I imagine people with multiples or twins have to do it. . 

We do. We have captains chairs, so I just put DD behind me and DS will go behind the passenger. I feel fine about it 

WombThereItIs

kns1988 said:

Is there anyone that has to put the car seat behind the drivers or passengers seat instead of in the middle? How do you feel about that? I imagine people with multiples or twins have to do it. . 

My son has always been on the passenger side. I couldn't get a good install in the middle and the idea of crawling to the middle to put the seat in and out (especially after delivery) sounded miserable. 

He will move ff behind me and the new baby will go on the passenger side. Doesn't phase me one bit. It's still very safe. 

0408Bear

With DS just 11 months and the twins coming, we will put him in the middle of the girls in the middle row of each car (my mini van and DH's suburban)...we feel fine about it! Right now DS is behind me because I can't reach into the middle because of my belly. I understand the safety aspect of the middle, but soon that has to go out the window with 3:)

MrsFox2008

Thanks ladies, I'm glad to hear it's not just my toddler being a total pain! 

@bacorrea great advice thank you for responding  

@OmegaRose3 I think it would be totally weird for any male family member other then my dad and brother (we are very close he's like my best friend) to touch my belly! 

redheeler

kns1988 said:

Is there anyone that has to put the car seat behind the drivers or passengers seat instead of in the middle? How do you feel about that? I imagine people with multiples or twins have to do it. . 

I will be putting the capsule behind th drivers seat as I figure a newborn can't run away onto the road.
I mean I have other options, but then I would have to switch DS to the drivers side and because the passenger side is statistically safer I feel like I would be playing favourites. But then I also think that DS is at preschool 2 days a week and spends 1 days with MIL so he will spend less time in the car, so even then I'm not sure now that I think about it. 
Its all personal preference though, obviously based around the safest option. Which is the middle or the passenger side if you have a split rear seat.

kns1988

Thanks, ladies, that's good to hear! This is really stemming from an argument with my husband about transporting a dog and a baby, but what it comes down to is that he thinks the baby should be on the side and I was really hesitant about it. I feel better now.

Don't worry, there will be a net barrier between the dog and baby and the dog will not be a projectile. I've seen these conversations get heated before, but we have two regular size cars and it's just a fact of life that sometimes we'll have the dog and the baby in the car at the same time. 

starphish18

@kns1988 Do you already have a net barrier? I was looking for something like that, as well, just to keep the dog from incidentally stepping on the baby or something.

redheeler

kns1988 said:

Thanks, ladies, that's good to hear! This is really stemming from an argument with my husband about transporting a dog and a baby, but what it comes down to is that he thinks the baby should be on the side and I was really hesitant about it. I feel better now.

Don't worry, there will be a net barrier between the dog and baby and the dog will not be a projectile. I've seen these conversations get heated before, but we have two regular size cars and it's just a fact of life that sometimes we'll have the dog and the baby in the car at the same time. 

I find the passenger side to be better when I'm on my own as I can still reach over, and we put DS on the drivers side for long family trips so whoever is the passenger can handle anything he drops or needs.

as long as your dog is restrained and can't reach LO it doesn't really matter, I mean if you have an SUV you could always tie the dog in the very back, but I tend to just tie my dogs lead to the driver door handle even though they can still reach DS (it could be a heated topic that I trust my dogs far too much with my kids but whatever, I know my dogs)

but as I said before, statistically the passenger side is safest as any accident you will be in on that side you will be at fault.

kns1988

@starphish18, I just bought this one from Amazon and it came today. It's not perfect because we're using it to separate the backseat in half which isn't what it's made for, but I didn't find one that was exactly what I needed. So far I have it rigged up pretty well, and I think it's going to work. I'm going to keep my eye out for one that's made for the backseat, but I don't know if it exists. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B015Q5FZV2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

pshaortao

I currently have DD rearfacing behind the passenger seat. I think I moved her there from the middle around a year old and its just so much easier to get her in and out. I picked that side because its easier for me to tend to her from the driver seat if needed. When this LO is born I will have her behind me instead and him in her old spot. She rarely needs anything from me these days while strapped in.

starphish18

@kns1988 Thanks! I'll keep that one in mind. If you do end up finding one made specifically for separating the back seat up, please let me know! You'd think with how many people have dogs and babies, someone would have invented that.

kns1988

@PartiallyDomesticated, the heated conversation I saw included people who just said "don't drive with your dog." Like, okay, they're obviously not dog owners. We're not just going to leave her behind after 9 years because we have a new family member. 

redheeler

@kns1988 alrighty then? How do they propose you do things like, go to the vet? I live a 20 minute drive out of town, I'm not walking 2 dogs, a toddler and a newborn that far XD

eta: also I meant the fact that I allow my dogs to reach my child while in the car and not 100% supervised could be a heated topic

WombThereItIs

FFSC: I don't have any barrier between the car seat and the dogs. They don't step on him. It's fine. 

And more importantly it's after toddler bedtime and I get to sleep in the middle of the bed tonight. Win. 

redheeler

WombThereItIs said:

FFSC: I don't have any barrier between the car seat and the dogs. They don't step on him. It's fine. 

And more importantly it's after toddler bedtime and I get to sleep in the middle of the bed tonight. Win. 

FFSC: I don't supervise my toddler and my dogs, like at all, the dogs are old enough that their personality isn't changing, DS is 3 and understands not to hit them. If I didn't know how they'd react to him then I would care, but I trust them much more than is socially acceptable.

llenadevida900

@WombThereItIs I'm jealous! Whenever my H is out of town (like for the next two+ weeks) every night DD (4yrs) says "well since daddy's not here I can sleep with you". I feel bad saying no since she really should be out of her toddler bed. And she stays on her side for a while, but once I'm in with her ... well, you know the rest. 

Jkp7749

I posted recently about being bummed about canceling a potentially awkward shower... Tonight my mom threw a suprise "shower" with only my favorite people and it was so, so special. We are a super tight knit family so it was my husband (who is normally so bad at suprises but he did SO GOOD) and daughter, my parents, plus my brother and sister in law and their baby. They decorated and grilled out and had such thoughtful gifts! I was extremely suprised- i was under the impressiom we were going on a date night and then dh just HAD to stop by to drop off dd's ball to play with while my mom babysat and i was actually really upset that he wabutd to stop by bc i didnt want to give dd a reason to have any more separation anxiety! Then we walked in and my family was so sweet and so excited! It made me feel truly special and like these babies are really going to be celebrated and special too (ppl have plenty negative comments about twins, esp all three being girls, and all being under 2). 

starphish18

@Jkp7749 How sweet!

SparkySunDevil

Currently in the ER waiting an eternity to see a doctor. I called my doc, and he wanted me to come in immediately for the rapid flu test. (I can't go to the urgent cares in my area because they're not Banner affiliated and considered "out of network" for my insurance.) 

doc just came in. Swabbing me for flu, giving me something for the horrendous headache I have. He's thinking more sinus related, but is doing the test to be safe. 

Adding to the twochebag stories shared before: my two year old screamed at me because I wouldn't let her wipe my butt for me earlier. Toddlers are lots of fun /eyeroll 

vrj0522

@Jkp7749 - that sounds like a great surprise and a fun time! Also why do people have any comments about you having 3 girls? It's not like they have to parent them! Nosey, opinionated people like that make me ragey.