So sorry to hear that @FTM53. I dozed off during a therapy session last week and felt like crap about it. my client was super understanding. Here's hoping your job is too. To fire you for falling asleep once sounds excessive.
I just have to add, as a work from home mom, I can't even imagine trying to stay awake if I was still at my 7:30-4 teaching job. I was just thinking about that today when I was slugging through the morning. So regardless of what your boss or HR might try to make you feel, I just salute all of you making it to work and being moms and wives and all the other roles you play. It will make me so mad if they fire you for that, it's not like you crawled under your desk and tried to sleep the day away. Ugh. Sorry. @FTM53
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
^^wss I am a work from home mom too, I have always worked from home, and I think all of you ladies who go into work are metal. @FTM53 I am so sorry to hear this!!
Have any of you ladies bought a car adapter for your pump and mastered pumping in the car? Seems like it could be a hassle but I'm considering it because my commute to work is 45 mins.... any tips?
Omg omg @FTM53!!!! That is so ridiculous. I cannot believe they could get away with that. I personally don't even think it warrants a warning but that seems like a better approach than terminating you. Ugh!! I will be thinking good thoughts for you.
@austinjl Two of my friends love pumping in their cars! They get all set up before leaving and wear a cover. Saves time! I haven't actually done it, so no tips.
I used to pump in the car all the time when my commute was an hour. I brought a pumping bra and would set up before taking off. I have a spectra 2 with the rechargeable battery which is convenient for pumping on the go. At first I would use a nursing cover then I said screw it and would just pull my shirt over myself. It was pretty easy! @austinjl
I have talked about my clingy baby before, but lately it's been on the next level!! He throws major fits when I am not holding him, he cries when I do anything but pay attention to him, he won't let anyone hold him(not even DH) and he crawls to me wherever I am even when playing on the floor with DH. The other day I was upstairs taking a work call and DH had him, he had the bathroom door closed so Q didn't go in there and play with the plunger (new fav thing haha) but once Q noticed the closed door he thought I was in there and sat at the door screaming and banging on the door. DH, my mom, my MIL and some of my friends said I need to let him fit and cry and not pick him up when he does that so he learns some independence. I really didn't want to do that because it goes against all of my instincts and hurts me, but I felt like everyone thinks that I'm ruining my kid. I was feeling like a bad mom every time I heard that from them so I did some research and found out that all babies go through some sort of separation anxiety but babies with big personalitys seem to have it worse. This made me feel so good! I'm not a bad mom, my kid has a huge personality and this too shall pass. So for anyone else dealing with this, here is the article that helped me and made me feel better about my decision to snuggle instead of CIO: https://www.parenting.com/article/make-your-clingy-baby-confident
I think you're doing the right thing following your instincts. It can be hard when you feel like family doesn't support you or your decision 100% but stay strong!
L won't hardly go to anyone else. My husband and my mom. That's about it. And in that order...me, husband, mom. It is definitely challenging. Especially when people want to hold her. I keep telling myself the same....it's just a phase and it will pass. That is reassuring about the big personalities!! We've always thought that about her so maybe this confirms it lol!
No wonder DS isn't sleeping. In the last week, post 2 week long cold and ear infection, he has learned how to army crawl, go from laying to sitting, and since yesterday he has learned to clap and pull himself up. Geesh. Let's just get everything out of the way all at once.
@arhodes6 I feel like you mentioned the clinginess thing right around last time I was struggling with it. Well she's gotten to the next level lately too. It kind of helps me feel like this is normal. I really needed to read this today too. I just dealt with people all day who kept making me feel like such a bad mom for "spoiling" her. Thank you!
Tonight we had poop in the tub! A new one for the books, lol. Ironically my husband had thought she just farted at first...based on the faces she was making which immediately led us to briefly talk about the odds of her ever pooping in the tub. We moved on and went back to playing with her. Then she shifted in the tub and it was very apparent what had actually happened. Hope you all had a more sanitary Sunday than we did! Lol
@babycakesday We aren't bad moms for spoiling our babies, even though people may make us feel that way. Clinginess is hard to deal with and however you get through it is exactly what you should be doing! Spoil on my friend!
I really want to chime in on the "spoiling". I hear that all the time also and it's very frustrating. H said it to me all the time until he had to stay with LO when I went back to work. He realized it's just not the case and she is a very high alert baby that needs interaction. The part that is the most frustrating is that if we did the opposite of what we are doing, then people would say we don't give our babies enough attention. We'll never win. So now that H realizes the situation, I don't care what anyone else says and I'll give my LO all the attention she needs.
It's a bit of a reach but an interesting idea as the babies get older. In terms of "making" them go to people they don't want to go to or in the future giving hugs/kisses to people they may not want to.
An article I read, talked about not making them. It (inadvertently) teaches them that their feelings don't matter and they have to do physical things that make them uncomfortable. It showed a coralation to that and sexual abuse. Not that they were more likely to be abused, but that if they've been taught to show affection to someone they don't want to, or when they don't feel comfortable, it's easier for abuse to occur. If that makes sense? It was an interesting article and enough to make me stop and think for a minute. I wish I could find it still. I read it several years back when my oldest was starting school.
But the the clingy baby comments made me think of it.
FTM53 I'm so sorry! Ditto to @TiffRox81 - I think a warning would be sufficient. This is yet another prime example about why the US' maternity leave laws are terrible 12 weeks (if you're lucky) is no where near enough.
I've read similar articles @LDSJM123 and I agree with that. When DD1 (3 yo) doesn't want to hug someone goodbye, I tell her she doesn't have to hug them, but it is polite to tell them goodbye. We are always working on her using her words I never force her to be physical.
DD2 is still young enough that I will let other people try to hold her. If she doesn't see me she's sometimes okay. However as soon as she's upset I take her back.
My twins sometimes have to cry a little longer than most babies, since I only have two hands! But I try so hard to not let them cry. If they wake up during the night and cry, I'm going to go get them. If they crawl to me holding their hands up crying, I'm going to pick them up. If one is assaulting the other with a toy, I'm going to break it up. I feel zero guilt for being attentive to my babies' needs. When my babies cry, they need something. They're not just crying to cry. They're upset, they hurt, they just need a hug from mom, I'm going to give them what they need. Thankfully I haven't had a lot of pushback on that, but most people know better than to criticize me
YES I definitely heard that too about the hugs/kisses, @LDSJM123. And I agree. My husband doesn't totally get that. He's such a lover so he thinks hugs are awesome, lol. I think I'm going to find a few of those articles and make him read them. They explain it nicely. As for the clinging, it is what it is there. I'm personally not going to make her do anything she isn't comfortable with. I think with time, she'll outgrow that.
@FTM53 I'm so sorry! Hopefully you get off with just a warning, I feel like if it's only happened once that shouldn't be grounds to fire you. Ridiculous.
So...they effing fired me. Claimed it was a 'division policy". Now I have to pull my son out of an amazing daycare where they probably won't have a spot for him once I find a new job.
Oh, and I just got my period cause today wasn't stressful enough.
Omg. I am so sorry @FTM53! That is super crappy. I hope you find something better fast. Which I'm sure won't be hard to do it sounds like. Did they actually terminate you or "lay you off?" do you have a shot at unemployment?
@LDSJM123 I've read a few of those articles, and completely agree. Whether it's affection or being held etc. I first read it when our oldest was a young toddler, and have (and will) just continue it. Family is super respectful of it, and DH's grandma even mentioned how forcing affection and such can cause resentment/not wanting to go to people's houses etc and she wanted the kids to feel safe and want to be at Nanny's. Honestly for us it just made sense, since we are big on body autonomy. We do praise affection though (ex: Mama loves when you give kisses!, You give the best hugs! I love when you give lovies!) So he is pretty affectionate with us, but weary of unknown people. (AND never any negative anything if they don't want someone or to give affection to someone)
L is super insanely clingy as well! @babycakesday@arhodes6 and I don't let him cry. It hurts me. Plus he is one of those kids that if he gets upset, it is hard to calm him and he will cry til he pukes... I honestly probably hold him more of the day than he is down. I'm ok with it... People that don't like it can kick rocks lol
@TiffRox81 I applied. We shall see. They did actually "separate employment". Super stupid.
But I got my student loans put on hold and I got extra time cuddling with DS this morning and he was super cute and kept putting his head down on my chest rest and then lifting his face demanding kisses. It's hard to have a bad day when that's how it starts.
@joberkiser Yeah, I carry Baby J more than she's on the floor. That's probably why she'll never learn to crawl. But on the upside, I can carry costco size dog/cat food bags like no big deal now from my super strong mom arms.
FTM53 - ugh I'm so sorry I know this is cliche but everything happens for a reason and hopefully a better opportunity will come your way. In the mean time- you'll get tons of baby snuggles and a chance to hit the "reset" button.
@FTM53 HR reps are seriously the most heartless & cold people (sorry for any bumpies that work in HR). My mom was recently let go in almost the exact same way - "policy infraction". Someone she supervised claimed sexual harassment and they let my mom go because she "signed the policy" without asking if there was any truth to the claims. Sending you creepy internet hugs & a speedy job search! In the meantime, enjoy those extra baby snuggles as I sit here bumping at work
Thanks all! Today has been a better day. I got in touch with a guy I do freelance work for and they are looking to hire. So I meet them again on Thursday.
Re: March Randoms
An article I read, talked about not making them. It (inadvertently) teaches them that their feelings don't matter and they have to do physical things that make them uncomfortable. It showed a coralation to that and sexual abuse. Not that they were more likely to be abused, but that if they've been taught to show affection to someone they don't want to, or when they don't feel comfortable, it's easier for abuse to occur. If that makes sense? It was an interesting article and enough to make me stop and think for a minute. I wish I could find it still. I read it several years back when my oldest was starting school.
But the the clingy baby comments made me think of it.
DD2 is still young enough that I will let other people try to hold her. If she doesn't see me she's sometimes okay. However as soon as she's upset I take her back.
Oh, and I just got my period cause today wasn't stressful enough.
@LDSJM123 I've read a few of those articles, and completely agree. Whether it's affection or being held etc. I first read it when our oldest was a young toddler, and have (and will) just continue it. Family is super respectful of it, and DH's grandma even mentioned how forcing affection and such can cause resentment/not wanting to go to people's houses etc and she wanted the kids to feel safe and want to be at Nanny's. Honestly for us it just made sense, since we are big on body autonomy.
We do praise affection though (ex: Mama loves when you give kisses!, You give the best hugs! I love when you give lovies!) So he is pretty affectionate with us, but weary of unknown people. (AND never any negative anything if they don't want someone or to give affection to someone)
L is super insanely clingy as well! @babycakesday@arhodes6 and I don't let him cry. It hurts me. Plus he is one of those kids that if he gets upset, it is hard to calm him and he will cry til he pukes... I honestly probably hold him more of the day than he is down. I'm ok with it... People that don't like it can kick rocks lol
But I got my student loans put on hold and I got extra time cuddling with DS this morning and he was super cute and kept putting his head down on my chest rest and then lifting his face demanding kisses. It's hard to have a bad day when that's how it starts.
Sending you creepy internet hugs & a speedy job search! In the meantime, enjoy those extra baby snuggles as I sit here bumping at work