Secret Facebook group

heatherdubrow

@DuchessOfCambridge omg me too! I'm obsessed

DuchessOfCambridge

@heatherdubrow it's actually a miracle I've been able to get all my work done in a timely manner since finding out about my BFP. It's alllll I can think about it and want to talk about, so bumping all day every day.

kschref

I think this is one of those issues that always gets kicked around regarding the timing (with varying amounts drama depending on the BMB, lol).  My personal beef with it starting one early is that I've seen groups start really early and then lurkers and trolls intro on TB and immediately join the FB groups just to hawk whatever stuff they sell.  By waiting until 2nd or 3rd tri and having people join a FB group who have been actively participating in the BMB, it eliminates a lot of that potential.

small *TW* - I've also had multiple losses and don't want to have to peace out of more than just a BMB if things go badly in the first tri - end *TW*

I think there probably are FB groups that start early and go strong.  Just hasn't been my experience.  I'm in a group from Jan14 of 120 women who all started out on TB and they are lifesavers.  We've been through a lot together and do a lot of in-person meet ups.  We didn't form a FB group until 3rd tri and it was a good decision for that group in particular, I think.  That being said, if people prefer an FB group or participating in both TB and FB for now, TETO for sure.  Everybody's experience is different.  My guess is like many BMBs, there will probably end up being more than one FB group that forms out of this one.  I'm personally going to wait simply because that has worked out better for me in the past.  

Karrotelle

I'm in my BMB from 2012 still. We started the FB group in 1st tri. Not to say there haven't been bumps along the way but that's to be expected with any large group like that. I totally respect anyone's decision not to join one now. You do whatever you're comfortable with. I'm personally fine with joining a group now. So if anyone does decide to start one, count me in! 

alwaysadventure

Im looking forward to the facebook group. the bump is always so glitchy. 

flowerpower5838

My 50 person BMB to Facebook group just kicked out 2 people who haven't been active in ages because it's effing weird to have people just lurking around and reading/listening/having knowledge of your life. These early groups tend to be even bigger. I'm sure they work fine for many people and I know that Facebook has some great privacy settings, but you're automatically giving people your name while also telling people about where you live, DS1's name who is in kindergarten, and who has a minivan bc right now I have an Altima and need something bigger, etc etc. Basically a road map for people to scam you or worse!

The Bump is certainly not the definition of user friendly and I totally agree that it is super glitchy, but it does offer safeguards that FB does not. I'll chill here anonymously until I get to know some of these ladies better. Like I said previously, to each their own. 

NYTino24

This happens on every BMB. TTGP ladies, do we really need to bust out the catfish thread?

I feel like those who are active posters will stick around here anyway. 

eggplantface

NYTino24 said:

This happens on every BMB. TTGP ladies, do we really need to bust out the catfish thread?

I feel like those who are active posters will stick around here anyway. 

*lurking from TTGP*

Whip it out! Whip it out! Whip it out! New members need to know about the stranger danger on public internet forums.

There's some TV show where a female character says that and I can't remember what it's from so I can't find the gif, but here is what I found that does not involve penis and actually works pretty well:

NYTino24

Here it is: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12463790/possible-catfish-on-july-bmb-update-in-op

av2323

@NYTino24  OMG.  Also, that thread will waste away my Friday at work quite nicely.

kelleyE3812

yall I was on the june 15 BMB and while I wasnt crazy active I lurked alot and remember this. this scared the shit out of me! why would someone do this and have that much time on their hands!!! 

SweetMelissa4

We had some crazy catfishing happening in my knot month board after we moved to FB.  One girl had completely made up another girl, her job, where she lived, her twins and their complications, all sorts of crazy shit.  I still have no idea if anyone else in the group was made up or if the girl who made up the other girl was even real.  She did scam some people out of money here and there and no one brought it up to the group until this came to light.  It was bizarre....

elsieisamoocow

@NYTino24 Just spent the entire length of the Trolls movie reading that whole shitstorm. Insane. 

DuchessOfCambridge

I havent' made it all the way through because work but I don't understand why someone would take all that time and energy to do that??

alwaysadventure

After reading that I agree waiting a bit is best lol

Hopefully we dont have to deal with any of that here... 

heatherdubrow

DuchessOfCambridge said:

I havent' made it all the way through because work but I don't understand why someone would take all that time and energy to do that??

Because people are BSC. 

NYTino24

Now imagine giving people you don't know your name, pictures of yourself and your kids / family, the name of the town and state you live in, where you work and went to school, your birthday, etc. *shudder*

TTGP ladies are wicked smaht though. They will always catch the catfish!!

adirat

@NYTino24

nrcrmj*

Hi! I would love to be added to the secret Facebook group. EDD November 9. How do I send a direct message so I don't post my email address here? Thank you!

kissthesky32

nrcrmj* said:

Hi! I would love to be added to the secret Facebook group. EDD November 9. How do I send a direct message so I don't post my email address here? Thank you!

Sorry. In the context of the PPs, this was hilarious!

heatherdubrow

@kissthesky32 yasssss!! 

TallMomma29

I was in that July BMB guys.  She was one of the most active posters.  We all felt so close to "her."  It was INSANE!   I was going to comment about that here but didn't want to dig up old stuff.  But yeah... I think waiting on FB groups is a good idea.  :-o

nrcrmj*

@kissthesky32 I thought your comment in response to my post was unkind.  I'm a FTM, brand new to this forum, and I read the original poster's thread last week. This site won't let new users post to the forums until they've had active accounts for several days, so I've had to wait before being able to post in this thread. I was looking forward to joining a secret Facebook group because, as a FTM, I haven't been through this before and am looking for a community of moms to help through the journey. I didn't read through all the latest posts today when, after the waiting period, I was able to post.  

Rather than judge people for wanting to start or join a secret Facebook group (or laugh at them for, of all things, posting at an inopportune time) I think you should stick to being kind and helpful, like the vast majority of people in this forum. 

kissthesky32

@nrcrmj* Your post was funny, though. Maybe you should continue to read the rest of the thread - it changes quite a bit from the first post. There is a lot of good internet security advice and a link to a very interesting/dramatic/just f-ing crazy thread from another BMB, where a constant and long-time poster was exposed as a catfish. Your post, after all of the cautionary notes and tales, was humorous. Read the thread. Be careful what information about yourself and your family you share with internet strangers. 

adirat

@nrcrmj*   What was unkind about it? She didn't insult you. She just said what all of us were thinking -- it is funny to see someone respond with enthusiasm after the conversation had shifted to a real catfish situation on TB. If you want to join the FB group, feel free. Do whatever you like. But if you do read the rest of this thread, I think you'll see why the juxtaposition of topics was funny. 

heatherdubrow

@nrcrmj* what I find a little insulting is coming here just to find a Facebook group.
Also @kissthesky32 was being silly, try to see the humor in the timing of your response.
Join us here, we're a fun group I promise!

NYTino24

@nrcmj* If you were lurking for days before being able to post, then why didn't you read the previous posts before responding? What's funny is you came here and immediately wanted to give out your email address to a stranger. 
FWIW I agree with @heatherdubrow - what's the point of joining a BMB if you're just gonna jump ship? 

broach713

  

BrooklynMommy83

I pm'd you

carlilovesblink

Please add me. Carli0536@gmail.com 

lancomechica2

   

kaitieb14

WOAH. I just spent like two hours on the catfish thread. Holy. Poopballs. That was crazy on a whole other level. Amazing distraction from the puking though! I'm with majority others, I'll talk to you people on FB once we're pretty damn sure all of us are real much later in the game. For now, love the BMB.

bcashaw

@katieb14 SAME BOAT literally just finished watching it and it's like. Woah. 

TeacherMama7

I'm also in the join in 3rd tri group. Yes, the bump is annoying but it's too early to let everyone be a part of the fb group. I'd rather wait until we have a group of regular posters. 

deeerfauxm

Did the admins really delete the thread Carlilivesblink posted earlier where this got bumped???? I don't see it. I've never seen them delete a thread for something so.....I don't have the right word. But they sure have not fixed the notifications. 

lancomechica2

My BMB was super close and we didn't hop to Facebook until our kids were 2. We were also much bigger than what this group seems to be. We still have about 70 active members in our FB group. This group just seems so much less active than my old BMB. Maybe because I joined in 2nd tri and it got more active then? Not sure. 

ElizabethSchuyler

It was deleted?! Damn. 

mariposa_767s

It should've been left as a warning to others.  Now we'll have another one posted next week.

adirat

@deerfauxm @ElizabethSchuyler @mariposa_767s Yeah it annoys me that they deleted it because like you said, now we're just going to get another in a couple days... Not to mention she was the one who called us bitches so...?

av2323

I'm about 99% sure the creator of this Facebook group suffered a loss almost immediately after creating the group.  I don't think anyone even monitors this thread to add members.  Just a FYI for those still requesting membership.