FTM enjoy, 2nd time is much harder!!

baker1jm2

Man didn't know how good it had it the first time around, able to nap or relax anytime I wanted, no little person to deal with when I was feeling sick.  Now chasing around an 18 month old when you feel like you've been hit by a truck is exhausting!! So FTMs...enjoy haha

baker1jm2

But I should add I am busier so less time to dwell on things and time seems to be moving a little faster!

floyd1rl

Its lovely when I've got my head in the toilet and my 16 month old comes and tries to put his hands in there too. I'm exhausted and so sick. I just want to sleep 

ForwardnBackward

Channel that mom strength

kmornelas29

I almost threw up last night, and my 3 year old came in to watch while our puppy jumped on my back, and she was screaming at the dog to stop. lol I love my daughter dearly, but hearing mom every 5 seconds when all I wanna do is crawl into a hole and die is excruciating! I get such bad ALL DAY nausea. My motivation is close to none, and it's laying on major mama guilt. My daughter told me she would take good care of me since I always do so much for her. Coming from a 3 year old, my heart melted. 

mommac2017

Anytime I throw up, my DS comes into the bathroom and shuts the lid on the toilet while saying "all done". Then he gives me toilet paper lol it's so cute!

And I agree. I don't remember being this tired with him! Thank goodness he goes to bed early because I'm in bed by 8:30 most nights!!!

riababy4

Same here!!! I have been feeling sick for a week, but it feels like much longer. Time is dragging on at the moment. I feel sick all day and all I want to do is sleep. I am looking forward to my son's nap time, because it means I get to sleep, too. I was lying on my bed yesterday, feeling so ill and he kept bringing me toys, wanting me to play with him. I just don't have the energy. I feel like an awful mum!

mamafromthepnw

I agree on both accounts- it's harder/crazier/more exhausting... but also going by much faster! 

sqfibemom

One word: television. Hahaha! When I was pregnant with DS, DD1 basically had free range of the TV. She learned how to control Netflix, I put snacks that she could have low down for herself, basically made parenting the laziest thing ever hahaha! Now, she was 3 so I know that made some of this easier but we didn't have ipods or anything then, now I use those to entertain all three of my kids when I have to mellow I'll take my MOTY award any time now.

kkerner87

So true! Luckily I have no MS but most days I'm so exhausted I just want to cry. I know it will all be worth it and I can't wait to see DD as a bug sister!

allslee

This! Definitely different the second time around

MamaStreeter

Oh my gosh. So. True. My 16 month old was mostly so good yesterday watching my movies and playing and cuddling while I just laid on the couch, too tired to move and afraid I was going to puke if I did move. My husband has been out of town this weekend and of course this is when the nausea has realllllly set it (although I've been nauseous since before BFP) and I am SO ready to hand the kiddo over to him and not change a diaper for the rest of the day and take a nap LOL. 

beautyundefined

sqfibemom 

I wish television worked for ds. He's 15 months and don't know how to sit still 

ac1259

lol....try the 3rd time. When I had DD2, DD1 was only 6 months old when I found out I was pregnant and she started teething like right after that. This time around at least my girls are more independent but they're busy and want to do things, it's going to be interesting keeping up with them over the summer! 

2babes3angels

@ac1259 I kinda feel like 3rd time isn't as hard as 2nd time... my 2nd is a little older than my 1st was when I was preggo, they have each other for entertainment, and they both still take good naps in the afternoon. It's been hard in terms of not feeling great, but they're in a good stage right now, so it feels more manageable than last time

MCraig1484

@beautyundefined
that's my situation too...DS is 16 mo and never stops, I wish he would just sit and watch a movie or even a 30 minute TV show so that I can catch my breath
Luckily for me, my DH has been so good and understanding and picks up my slack.

ac1259

@2babes3angels- I'm majorly jealous that yours nap! Mine are 3 and 4 and they don't nap anymore, they are good at entertaining themselves though but basically while they play I have homework. And they have activities to run to and expect me to take them places whereas when my oldest was little I could get away with hanging out at home more if I didn't feel good or needed to rest. No matter what pregnancy is hard!

kitty4scott

I just said the same thing to DH last night. I don't know how people have many, many kids if they go through this every single time. My son is like attached at my hip ever since I've been pregnant. He can't do anything alone anymore. "Mommy read." "Mommy up." All I want to do is crawl into a cave and come out in October. I can't even stomach diaper changes anymore. I gag and even vomited on my son the other day. Ugh!

jessafishy

Meh, I have pretty easy pregnancies (knocks on all the wood) and so even though it's not as easy as with DS, I would venture to guess there are plenty of FTMs who currently have it way worse than me.

grkgdss00

It's so, so hard... just want a nap. What's a break?

buttercream_frosting

So. Much. This. Also advice from friends who are STM and have BTDT, don't forget to enjoy this second/third pregnancy ladies. They told me that they forgot to pause and enjoy right up until their last weeks of pregnancy and were bawling when they realised that they hadn't taken time to enjoy their bumps. It is also easy to get caught up with trying to spend your last moments giving your "only child" all your energy until the next one arrives. So this is something I'm trying to remember as well for this pregnancy.

jessafishy

@buttercream_frosting I would actually apply that advice to EVERYONE.

Appreciate it as much as you can, you never know what the future holds. For awhile I thought my first pregnancy might be my last and I regretted that I didn't savor it more. I know some parts are hard and annoying and gross or whatever, but you won't get this time back.

canonmom413

I want to embrace this pregnancy for as long as I can. I'm a TTM and so emotional that it may be our last. I'm loving every second. 

virginiaham

So, as a FTM (who has struggled with loss and infertility) I cringe every time I scroll by this thread title.

All I can think is, *if* this baby is truly my rainbow baby and *if* I am fortunate enough to be able to get pregnant with a sibling.

Your "Just you wait," is our (for some of us) "How seriously amazing you have it."

Just wanted to offer that perspective

Myelhsa

virginiaham said:

So, as a FTM (who has struggled with loss and infertility) I cringe every time I scroll by this thread title.

All I can think is, *if* this baby is truly my rainbow baby and *if* I am fortunate enough to be able to get pregnant with a sibling.

Your "Just you wait," is our (for some of us) "How seriously amazing you have it."

Just wanted to offer that perspective

I'm glad that you posted this, because I've been thinking of a way to word what a want to say.

Im gonna address this to FTMs - Don't let people tell you, "You just wait". In this moment, you are as tired as you've ever been. You are doing something more amazing than your body has ever done. I HATED constantly having my feelings and emotions invalidated by the "you just wait."

Its ok to say you're uncomfortable. You are.
Its ok to say you're tired. You are.
Its ok to say you're feeling scatterbrained. You are.
Likely moreso than you've ever been before, it's ok to express that.

Dont let people tell you those emotions/feeling aren't "real" just because they *might* be worse later.

ROCK ON FTMs!

baker1jm2

Totally agree, wasn't a cake walk the first time either and wasn't taking anything away from ftms, I was just trying to relate to some other stms that are experiencing the same thing.  For me this go around is much more challenging and I wish I would have enjoyed my first pregnancy more when life was less hectic.  @virginiaham hope this is your rainbow baby and everyone has a healthy 9 months!!

singing_lyn

Heartburn? Anyone? OMG! I never had this until the end with my DS and now it was like as soon as I POS that it started to the point I could have cried last night it got so bad so quickly before I took Tums. And the pain that feels like a cyst but not at the same to the point I might call my OB to be seen earlier than normal because it's stressing me out. This was an unexpected pregnancy so I just guess I probably am feeling more stressed and anxious than I did with my first and every little thing is just about enough to make me lose it. Plus any night with my normal amount of sleep doesn't even feel close to enough I'm so exhausted all the time and my son absolutely will not nap for me anymore.

MCraig1484

I don't think the purpose of this thread was to demean or in any way make FTM feel "their emotions or feelings aren't real."  It was simply to relate to other mom's that are dealing with all of the symptoms they had the first time around while taking care of a LO.  What we're going through isn't easy regardless of whether you have another child in toe or not.

kmcdaniel7

I think this is all depends on your situation. There are plenty of women that have very difficult first time pregnancies. I felt my second time around (even though I had more symptoms and pain) it was way easier than I expected it would be. Now #3..... we will see how this one goes. So far so good. *don't want to jinx it- knock on wood* And as I am typing this I am reading a few posts above me and I see other readers got the same impression I did, that its not really fair to first time moms to just assume they have it easier than us because we have more kids. Everyone's situation/pregnancy/relationship/tolerance levels are ALL different. You cannot lump every FTM into the same "easy boat".

Myelhsa

MCraig1484 said:

I don't think the purpose of this thread was to demean or in any way make FTM feel "their emotions or feelings aren't real."  It was simply to relate to other mom's that are dealing with all of the symptoms they had the first time around while taking care of a LO.  What we're going through isn't easy regardless of whether you have another child in toe or not.

I get what you're saying. I don't in any way, shape, or form think that the intention of this thread was to make FTM's feel that way. But intentional or not, I think this thread definitely gives off the "You just wait" vibe.

"FTM Enjoy!" is antagonizing in and of itself, especially for a FTM who's having a particularly difficult pregnancy. It says exactly the same thing as "You think it's hard now?! You just wait!"

I'm just following what the previous poster said, by offering a different perspective. We have a bunch of STM threads to discuss stuff like this, but this one seems to particularly call out FTMs, which might not be cool in their book.

Just my two pennies.

mfmcclelland

I'm a STM and my husband and I work alternating shifts 40+ hrs per week on our feet each (we're both in the food service industry) and our 10 month old is so smart and busy I feel bad sometimes I'm not "doing enough" with her because I'm so tired when I get home from work and drop my husband off all I want to do is sleep!  Thankfully she has to have her early bedtime so I get to pass out by 7 pm! But I've seriously never felt so tired or out of it in my life! 

kimiekat44

OMG yes! Especially with a strong-willed, threenager who doesn't nap anymore and has ongoing medical issues. No naps for momma...keeping up with a high energy kid, limited caffeine...trying to get them to understand they need to be gentle with your belly. With my appointments now, I've been in doctors offices about twice a week in the past month.

kimiekat44

kitty4scott said:

I just said the same thing to DH last night. I don't know how people have many, many kids if they go through this every single time. My son is like attached at my hip ever since I've been pregnant. He can't do anything alone anymore. "Mommy read." "Mommy up." All I want to do is crawl into a cave and come out in October. I can't even stomach diaper changes anymore. I gag and even vomited on my son the other day. Ugh!

Omg. So glad it's not just me. That symptom totally caught me off guard. I've never had an issue changing her diapers. Now I fear I might throw up on my daughter when I change her every morning. And it makes me feel so bad when she asks "why do you keep saying that momma?" cuz I don't want her to feel bad that I'm all of a sudden grossed out when changing her.

jaxx723

Definitely true, I didn't realize how easy I had it the first time around.  My two year old is constantly on the go and I am not keeping up with him like I could before.  But, it's nice that time is going faster this time around and I don't have a lot of the unknown I had before.  That's nice. 

BabyYardley

I'm so glad I'm not alone! Thank you for starting this thread. I thought my first time, after having had a miscarriage, was difficult. With DD I was constantly stressed and worried I would lose her, too. Thankfully all went well. But this time around I feel so much more out of sorts. I feel more exhausted not only physically but mentally as well. Chasing my 18 mo around is exhausting, morning sickness is crazier, and just the feeling that I'm not ready makes me constantly sad. I know it's crazy since I've already done it once. 

kkerner87

"The feeling I'm not ready" so. Much. This. When I get overwhelmed with DD i think omg i have a baby on the way. I will have a toddler and newborn. Can we handle it? Can we afford it? Will DD be upset and angry with us? Is she ready? Is the cat ready? Lol. 

Azela89

lol I'm so glad I found this...my DD turned 1 last week and being 7 weeks pregnant, for the past two weeks it has been exhausting! I'm wondering how I will survive the next few months and I feel like it will go so quick I won't be ready in time.
Being at work away from DD is actually the only time I get to rest a little, but I work as a hca on a labour ward so

natleilynn

My 3 year old saw me throwing up in the toilet and ran to tell DH that "Mommy is pooping from her mouth!"

Not my finest moment.

baker1jm2

@kkerner87 the can we afford it thing is freaking me out too. DD only goes to daycare 3x a week but it still costs a fortune and now we'll have to pay for 2!! 

buttercream_frosting

@natleilynn I hope you are keeping records of what your 3yo says because that was gold! My DS enjoys watching me vomit. Evil things toddlers.

natleilynn

@buttercream_frosting  I got this journal from Amazon when she started talking that's called "My Quotable Kid." All her crazy stuff goes in there. This one definitely made the cut