January 2016 Moms

Thirds vent

So we recently just moved into our first home. We have been here for about 2 1/2-3 weeks now. My husband just started thirds and I absolutely can not sleep now. Every noise I hear I'm up thinking someone got in the house. Our daughter just got her own room here at the house right across the hallway so I feel that adds to my anxiety of if someone got in that she's not right here in our room like she was for the first year. I have been up all night as of right now it's currently 5 AM. This is not good for me to have this worry and anxiety like this and then not sleeping because I have to be the one up taking care of our daughter the whole next 24 hrs. I get very little if at all any help from my husband especially more so that he's on thirds he sleeps the day away. Do any of you moms deal with this what did you do to ease your mind. Did you put up cameras? I know the doors are locked and windows are locked we do have a easily accessible basement window and my husband has pointed it out numerous times and that the door leading up into the house can easily be broken in with some effort so he has me all worried me concerned. I'm a light sleeper but I guess part of my worry is what if I didn't hear something I'm the protector here I need to be able to hear things and take action for my daughter. Ugh he was originally suppose to go on 2nds but they were short on thirds and idk how much longer I can do this it's only been a week and a half but I literally get no sleep until it's daylight out and that's maybe an hour if I'm lucky cause baby is usually awake at 8 am.

Re: Thirds vent

  • My husband will work 24 hours on a few times a week and I HATE being alone overnight. I'm absolutely terrified of the dark. I don't have too much advice other than a few things that I do that might be crazy to others lol. I made sure I developed a routine on the nights he is gone for locking everything up. When he is home he's the one who takes care of all that so actually walking around and making sure everything is locked in the same order every night he's gone helped me not second guess if I forgot something once I laid down. I also leave ALL the main lights on (kitchen,living room, hallway, garage) That sounds really crazy written out but other than my room and my sons room I leave a lot of lights on. It makes me feel better because if I were to be woken up by something I could quickly see what's going on without running around in the dark looking for lights to turn on. Idk what kind of monitor you use but we use a video monitor in our sons room so I can wake up and check on him frequently. If I think of anything else I do I will come back and post it. He's gone again tonight so I'll pay attention to see if there's anything else! I'm sorry you're dealing with his it's really hard being alone overnight and dealing with that anxiety! I will say he's been doing this since before my sons been born and at first I felt just as you but it has improved significantly and although I still don't like it I def am still able to sleep when he's gone so hang in there! 
  • My husband use to work an over night shift and it's rough. Thankfully his scheduled changed to where he's working days now. I agree with pp about the routine. It's reassuring to go around checking to make sure everything is locked. Can you have your husband do it before he leaves for work? Also, this may sound silly but have you considered getting a dog? Not an outside dog but just a family pet that would also be a protector and an alarm. I had 2 big dogs when my husband was working nights and having them with me made me feel safe. Hang in there. You'll find things along the way that ease your mind. 
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  • Thank you ladies. My husband always checks the doors before he leaves so I know they are locked. We lock the screen doors and the main doors the basement has a chain lock on it and we put a bar up under the handle so I know if someone where to get in I would most likely hear them. I guess it's just an adjustment period learning new sounds in the new house and neighborhood. We live in a nice neighborhood with neighbors close on either side of us but that doesn't mean it can't happen. I only use a angelcare movement monitor I would really like to get a video monitor for my daughter's room but my husband thinks it's a waste and we don't need it. I'd really love to have a few nest cams around the house.
  • @shortstuff15 I would absolutely consider getting a video monitor for her room! We love ours and to be able to lay in bed and see him in his room is so reassuring! 
  • My husband leaves for months at a time for work and I'm it while he is gone. The checking locks is definitely big, as well as a video monitor. We also have a very large dog with a nasty bark (see my icon for dog, she's a giant marshmallow who is afraid of her own farts, but dang do people freak out when she's coming at them to lick them to death). I'd have to say the most helpful thing is the video monitor. We used to have just basic sound ones, but being able to push a button and see that LO is fine makes it much easier. 
  • I'm impressed with any of you who don't use a video monitor! It definitely reduces my anxiety by being able to just check on her whenever, whether DH is home or not. 
    Right after LO was born, we got an alarm system installed in our house and it definitely makes me feel better, especially if DH is gone for the night. It was expensive but well worth it I think. You can also set up your own, less expensive system if you've got the skills by buying all the stuff on Amazon. 
  • My husband will also go away for long periods of time and I will say I would spend whatever necessary to do whatever it took to make us feel as safe as possible! (Within our means obviously) That is definitely a priority to me because it is HARD taking care of children alone for long periods of time, we don't have any family or friends even in the same state so the only "break" I get when he's gone is bedtime and there's no way I could spend it awake worrying I would go insane! lol I would def explain to your husband your anxieties and why you think the video monitor would help! 
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