Why my SO is awesome/an a-hole 2/18

wyomama0427

I know someone signed up for one of these but we've never had one!
So let's hear it ladies. Is your SO being awesome or an a-hole??

wyomama0427

My SO has been an a-hole more times than not recently. He's usually pretty supportive and helpful but he's been very much slacking in helping with DS. He went to bed at 7:30 last night, and it's so frustrating because sometimes I just need a few minutes to even pee by myself. But nope, he had a little scratchy throat so the world was ending and he needed to go to bed. Like if I could just get a minute to lay down and wallow in the nausea and constipation and exhaustion lol but I've got DS pretty much every second of every day. I love the kid but damn. 

mrsmarygs

My SO is awesome, because he did all the dishes for me, and spot cleaned the whole house for our guest that is coming tomorrow. 
I feel really bad for him because he's gone back to his college diet of ramen and soup. I haven't actually cooked a meal in about 3 weeks...

wyomama0427

@mrsmgsee I'm jealous lol! DH does the dishes sometimes but he doesn't do too much else to help. It's frustrating. Also, he piled all the trash bags in the garage instead of putting them in the dumpster, so the dog got into them. Again. After he said he was putting the dumpster in the garage for easier access. Nope. Lol. Frustrating.

mrs_tacos

DH has mostly been amazing. He's always been a big help around the house, and has picked up even more slack lately. He even cleaned out the pantry last weekend, and this weekend is going to help me clean out the fridge (I'll do most of it, but he'll find and handle whatever the source of the horrible smell is). He hasn't complained once about the lack of meals or sex, and has generally been really sweet.

But he has his bad moments, and I can't tell how much is actually him being a bit of a jerk, and how much of it is my raging hormones. Like, I swear he says small things that are easy to argue "that's not how I meant it, that's just how you took it," but come on, buddy, we've been together 12 years, did you really think I wouldn't pick up on the subtext? I know he's been really busy at work, and he's doing more around here than usual, and I'm not as available as I would normally be, so if he's a little frustrated it's totally understandable. But I haven't eaten a normal meal or gone 25 hours without puking in a month. So if you have something to say, just say it, none of this passive aggressive nonsense. You are not your mother, and I'm not your dad- I'm not acquiescing to passive aggression tantrums for the next 30 years! (I should add that this is not his MO, he just tend stop slip into it when he's stressed.)

Becky012016

DH has been helpful with doing what I ask him to do. However, it takes him days to get around to doing whatever I asked him to do and the work is half-assed. He will do the dishes but he won't make sure they're completely clean or he will do the laundry and not fold the clean clothes. 

ashley2824

A-hole! I have to ask him to help out more around the house which turns into a fight but even then he doesn't usually do anything. Mind you I work more than him so that alone he should be helping out more. AND on top of it, he gets mad whenever I'm not in the mood for you know what. He's usually pretty good, but I guess that's with me doing mostly everything around the house. I'm so tired of feeling like crap during this pregnancy and on top of that fighting with him about housework and sexua favors. Ughhhh

JNR6510

My DH is amazing. He cooks, cleans, and is super helpful in general. I have no complaints.

beccam1230

I really want to say awesome. He has literally picked up all the slack. He takes care of our son so sweetly, does dishes, laundry and cleans. Then he goes and makes a smart ass comment about me not cooking. Uh.. duh, when I'm not throwing up, I feel like I need to. I'm not going to cook. I just feel like he gets impatient a lot. I guess I can't blame him, he's picked up a lot. But on the other hand.. he's an airline pilot and gets to leave the house 4 days a week.. without coming home. He gets a break! Help me out and quit the bitching, man. Jeez.

daisy62103

DH is awesome. I'm very lucky to have such a great guy. I've made maybe 2 meals in the last 6 weeks, when I used to do 90% of the cooking before. He's taken meals on, bathing the kids, putting them to bed, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, pretty much everything. He gets me whatever I need, whenever I need it. I feel like such a slug, and he's done it all without complaints. I make sure I let him know often how much I appreciate him and that pregnancy isn't easy on him either!  

LaceyC1020

My DH is completely amazing. He's taken on everything in the house--the cooking, cleaning, taking care of all of the animals. He gives me my Heparin and progesterone injections every single day. He gets up early to drive me to and from work just so I don't have to park super far away. He never, ever complains. I'm a total sloth right now, but I really don't know how I would do this without him. He loves being involved in any way for the pregnancy and treats me like a queen. (Even if I want corndogs in the middle of the night!) I don't know what I did to deserve him  He said my only job right now should be to grow this little person

Hopefulmommy1980

My dh has been having a hole moments lately. He is so mood I just want to tell him to suck it up buttercup. Also he is lazy when it comes to house work. When I ask him to do something he either "forgets" or acts like I asked him to give me kidney 

that said he does have amazing moments to. I told him he was super sweet when he cleaned up the bathroom after I threw up all over on Valentine's Day night. 

awildrose

My DH has been awesome. He's taken full bedtime, cooking, and laundry duties so I can just sleep. (The exhaustion is unreal). I'm so thankful for his willingness to pick up where I'm slacking. I'm hoping tomorrow I feel up to getting the house picked up well... it's just fallen behind the last few weeks. 

HollyGolightly09

@amandarene112 I basically could have written that... DH had been so awesome, but sometimes he says the most infuriating things and I can't figure out how he thinks it's going to sound any differently. 

divinemsm620

Apart from the fact that he is perennially bad at doing housework without being asked, DH has been so, so awesome to me for the past few weeks. Case in point: because I am a stereotype, I asked for fried pickles and a milkshake from a local burger place for my dinner. He stopped what he was doing, got in the car, and went! Without complaining at all, he has gone above and beyond to make sure I've had all the weird foods I've wanted and extra-cold water whenever I've asked. Couldn't ask for more support.

wyomama0427

Okay now I feel bad for calling my DH an a hole! Lol. He really isn't normally like this but I think just with work and going through fire academy and stuff he's feeling overwhelmed. He is usually really awesome, he's stayed up with DS when I've had morning sickness, he can't cook to save his life but he'll pop in a pizza if I don't want to cook. He picks up something if I'm craving it. Reading some of your comments has made me jealous though lol.

msashley2010-2

@daniellelynette Did everything get resolved with the coworker situation? 

msashley2010-2

I guess I kinda feel neutral about SO at the moment. He doesn't go above and beyond with the house, but he doesn't get onto me about me being too exhausted to clean or cook either. He always gives me bites of whatever good thing he is eating and if i am
craving something he always says yes. 

Sometimes I can be kinda mean. He whines sometimes about wanting back rubs cause he is soooo sore. (He gets free massages through his work's clinics once a month.) But on the weekends he starts complaining super early and I'm straight up like no. I'm tired. Go back to bed. 

wyomama0427

Msashley2010 said:

@daniellelynette Did everything get resolved with the coworker situation? 

Not really. She now works full time at the station here. So she's pretty much always there. I told him how I feel and he assured me that she's like "everyone's sister" and he's not gonna catch feelings for her and stuff... I felt a little better but I still find myself upset if she's there and he's going there or she shows up when he's there. It also doesn't help that I creeped on her Facebook and she's not ugly like I was hoping.... 

msashley2010-2

daniellelynette said:

Msashley2010 said:

@daniellelynette Did everything get resolved with the coworker situation? 

Not really. She now works full time at the station here. So she's pretty much always there. I told him how I feel and he assured me that she's like "everyone's sister" and he's not gonna catch feelings for her and stuff... I felt a little better but I still find myself upset if she's there and he's going there or she shows up when he's there. It also doesn't help that I creeped on her Facebook and she's not ugly like I was hoping.... 

I've certainly been in your boat and it's an uncomfortable situation but hopefully everything is as he says it is. Sometimes my SO will talk about doing "sidework" at his female coworkers houses and I have to force myself not to ask a million questions about them. 

OmSweetOm

My DH is an awesome a-hole. He is always asking if I need anything, making store runs, feet rubs... if I name it he will do it. But, he also has a tendency to say things like...... "maybe if you tried to be more positive you wouldn't feel so crappy" in response to my relentless MS. 

..............well meaning? Sure. But, kindly eff off. Thankyuhverymuch.

wyomama0427

@Msashley2010 I do trust him so much and I'm sure if he says things are cool they are. He's done some dumb stuff a few years ago in the beginning of our relationship but he hasn't done anything dumb in a long time and we've since gotten married and had DS and are now working on this little peanut. I do trust him. I guess I just get jealous a little and worried. 

kelseyrayay

I can't bash my dh. He has been taking care of me ever since I started having my seizures/ migraines. Plus he is cute lol

BookitBoo

My DH is amazing. I passed out after work and the gym the other day and he woke me up. He had already fed the kids and put them to bed and then made me supper. He let me eat and stumble back to bed. Best ever 

stephy_p

Mine is being an a-hole. I'm so mad at him today I can't stand it. The only thing he does around the house is make messes. I cant trust him to do anything he says he will do. For Valentine's Day he said he would clean the entire house, go to the grocery store and then cook us dinner. You know what he did? He didn't go to the store, we ordered pizza for dinner, and he tossed the mail and clean clothes from the dryer on the kitchen table thus causing the house to be even messier than it was earlier that day. This morning ive been folding laundry and doing a week's worth of dishes. I could just punch him.

wyomama0427

@stephy_p oh good I'm glad mine isn't the only one being a pain in the ass!!! I'm sorry he's being like that, I know how frustrating it is

msashley2010-2

Today SO has been amazing. I woke up with the worst headache ever. And while he did wake up begging for a backrub. (I went ahead and gave him one.) He left me alone to do my research paper and by the end of it my I had an excruciating headache. So he stuck me in a hot shower and gave me the best neck rub ever and it really helped my headache. 

cchenal07

My DH is being awesome! Today I slept in then took another hr nap after making my way to the couch. He then picked me up Chipotle, my DS Arby's and stopped at the gas station to get me a slush puppy because I have been taking about them all week. We then took a couple mile walk at the park and it felt amazing. He went grocery shopping so I had plenty of supplies while he is away for work this week. Now I am laying on the couch again while he grills. I wouldn't trade him for the world.

mercury94

DH is awesome. He teaches all day and takes night classes every weeknight, but he spends the whole weekend taking care of me and the house while I nap to get over my week at work. He also listens to me complain and rubs my feet. Yesterday he went to the store by himself so I didn't have to smell food. I feel pretty bad. He's really doing more than his share. Whenever I tell him that, though, he just says that I'm doing all the work because he could never grow a baby. 

ColoradoHiker

DH is a mixed bag, and I'm happy with it.  He's picked up so much of my slack lately, especially bc my nausea was so bad.  He's been great with giving me time to nap or just relax, especially on days I'm not handling DS and his toddler ways very well.  DH has had a man cold the last few days, and I've tried very hard to be nice and helpful, even though I want to tell him it's not that big of a deal, lol.  He has a tiny cough and dripping nose, but it's the end of the world!

sugarrush

First pregnancy I was just so over-the-moon in love with my husband.  He walked on water as far as I was concerned.  This time, I just want to punch him in the face and claw his eyes out every time I look at him.  There really is no particular reason.... hormones, maybe?  He doesn't really know this because I haven't told him this or anything, I just keep thinking about it in my head. lol when I re-read this I feel like I sound like a psychopath.

mrs_tacos

@SugarRush I have had a few of those moments towards DH, and it's so weird to know you're being completely irrational, but you can't do anything about how you feel in that moment. But my hormones are such a rollercoaster, that a minute later it's gone. 

sugarrush

@amandarene112 right??!  Hormones are a real bitch!  I did not have this problem the first time around, this time i'm on the struggle bus trying to keep myself in check, lol!

HollyGolightly09

@SugarRush  That is me today. Just looking at the man makes me want to hit him... or at least growl at him, lol. 

parker0706

DH was so awesome when I was pregnant with DD, this time around he's a mixture. He cleaned the entire house over this last week/weekend which was amazing and I thanked him profusely for. However, today I get text mid-afternoon saying "I hope you've worked on laundry and done the dishes." Like seriously WTF, I have but what if I haven't!?

nia294

DH has been mostly an a-hole with some moments of awesome. He tends to become and even bigger a-hole when he's tired. We just moved into our new apartment about a week ago and haven't had a single good day. When I ask him to do things (like the dishes) his response is usually "you don't do anything" which is really frustrating because oh how extremely sick I've been, vomiting, constipation, migraines..also along with the fact that I have an autoimmune disorder with extreme depression and anxiety. It's been highly frustrating and quite hurtful. Last night was a little better, he did do the dishes without me asking and would get me little things here and there when I needed them. He's not always an a-hole, but he definitely has been as of late.