is my daughter too dependent on me? what am i doing wrong?! — The Bump

is my daughter too dependent on me? what am i doing wrong?!

My daughter is 21 months old and while I work a flexible, yet full-time job during the week, when I am home in the afternoons and on weekends, my daughter and I are inseparable. I always make sure we stay busy and spend as much time together as possible whenever I am home. We also cosleep since my husband works around the clock and it's oftentimes just the two of us and my daughter is still nursing (not often - but often enough!) and I am still not quite ready to give up the special time we share during those brief nursing sessions.

All that being said, it is starting to get even trickier to break away for even just a minute to go pee! Now that she is a walking, talking toddler, I can never get a moment (literally, a MOMENT) of privacy. She screams and cries if my husband goes to take her so I can go take a shower or make dinner, or do anything that requires us to be separated even if it's only for a few minutes. However, she is always fine when I drop her off with our sitter during the week when I go to work, she is always good for my mom if she babysits while my husband and I go on a date, and is generally a very easy-going, happy little girl. But these tantrums and fits when my husband tries to change her or bathe her or do anything with her that takes her away from me or puts me out of her sight are starting to really frustrate my husband and he thinks our daughter has zero independence.  He is also now very against cosleeping and keeps asking me when I'm going to stop breastfeeding.  

I've always been comfortable following my daughter's lead when it comes to milestones and next steps of her development but at this age, her manipulation skills are really at their peak! Yes, she is totally spoiled and yes, she is totally a Mommy's girl, but I am starting to really feel like I am doing everything wrong and that my husband is right and it's time to get her in her own bed and weaned off from breastfeeding. Does anyone have any advice or experience with a similar situation?  Any and all input is welcome! 

Re: is my daughter too dependent on me? what am i doing wrong?!

  • I have 3 children: 7yrs. old, 2.5 yrs. old, and 16 months old. My oldest co-slept with us until I gave him the boot when he was 5. I decided after that, that I wouldn't allow any of our other children to co-sleep with us after a certain age. This was somewhere around 6 months, once they were able to sleep through the night without feeding.

    My oldest son also took a bottle until he was 2. My youngest is still on a bottle only when he goes to sleep, but I plan on taking this away soon.

    It's really up to you and your partner when you want them to sleep in their own beds and when you want to stop the feedings, however the sooner the easier it is.

    This age is a very difficult age on everyone, including your little one. The tantrums are normal for this age. They are very frustrating to deal with, and they might make you want to pull your hair out at times. However, they will pass. I wrote a blog on how to deal with toddler tantrums and how to prevent them. It should help you out. I'll link it below. Good luck mama!


    Omega Mom
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