November 2017 Moms

MrsMaryK2016

They are going to be opening the November 2017 board soon (if not already) and I thought it might be nice if we did a post on their board with some advice/words of wisdom/things we've learned/etc. I thought we might do one post for FTM and one for STM. I thought we could each do like five things. What do you think??

desoky01

This is an awesome and sweet idea! 

SandNStarsNJ

I'd be up for it. 

jsmai

I like it!

kristah2

Cute!
also.. nov 2017 moms.. ahh! Where does the time go?! Can you believe we were joining this board a year ago?!

m6agua

I think it's a great idea but maybe should wait until into March when almost everyone is there. Right now there probably isn't too many on the board yet.

ETA: we will have to be careful because it may not be well received as well.

leighry

I love the idea! So nice!

SandNStarsNJ

m6agua said:

I think it's a great idea but maybe should wait until into March when almost everyone is there. Right now there probably isn't too many on the board yet.

ETA: we will have to be careful because it may not be well received as well.

Good point... maybe we wait and see how their board starts to run.

Furmommy

Can't wait for the board to open!

SandNStarsNJ

So their board is up... but it looks like people are already looking to jump to FB. Is TB growing obsolete? 

I like our small group here. 

hoosiermama-2

I just crept since it's kinda slow right now. As i started to read the intro thread, I turned to DH and said, "do you wanna have another baby?" He said, "right now?!" haha.. as he's feeding LO.

Man! My fever sure does flare up bad every now and then.

MrsBigTime

hoosiermama said:

I just crept since it's kinda slow right now. As i started to read the intro thread, I turned to DH and said, "do you wanna have another baby?" He said, "right now?!" haha.. as he's feeding LO.

Man! My fever sure does flare up bad every now and then.

My only hesitation is because I don't want to lose my milk! Otherwise, we'd be ready and willing!

SandNStarsNJ

hoosiermama said:

I just crept since it's kinda slow right now. As i started to read the intro thread, I turned to DH and said, "do you wanna have another baby?" He said, "right now?!" haha.. as he's feeding LO.

Man! My fever sure does flare up bad every now and then.

DH said he needs time to forget how hard the first two months are. This from a man that has never had to get up in MOTN, give a bath or even take both kids out by himself...

m6agua

It seems like their board is up and running and surprisingly pretty organized so far thanks to a few TTGP people. I was thinking maybe we all could use this thread to bounce our ideas on what we want to say to them, and maybe in a couple weeks one of us can compile a list and write it up, post it on here for final approval and then post over there. I would be more than happy to do this unless someone else really wants to. Like @mrsmaryk2016 said maybe each of us could come up with 5-10 things about pregnancy/birth/newborns etc.

Lets start bouncing our ideas off each other.

m6agua

1. Try and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can (even if you are PGAL or PAIF). I know its easier said than done, but it is nice to look back with at least some fond memories. The anxiety struggle is real though.
2. You know your body best, trust your instinct and be your own advocate/voice for your healthcare. I was diagnosed with GD and they wanted to put me on insulin for a couple of borderline high numbers, I refused and was able to maintain through diet and birthed a healthy 7lb 2oz baby girl.
3. Birth can be fast even for a FTM! My labor was 7.5 hours from my first "painful contraction" (already 1 min long and 3 mins apart) until birth. I did have tightening contractions with no pain for a whole day before though. Also to add, *TW* I did have a natural MC early on about a year prior to this birth, so that may or may not have been why my labor was pretty fast.
4. I don't want to be a fear monger but I want information to be out there. I really wish they would have at least mentioned this in the breastfeeding class. Not everyone can breastfeed. I am part of a small 5% of people that cannot due to IGT (insufficient glandular tissue). I didn't find out until LO was a week old and we met with a lactation consultant. I was heartbroken, I really wanted to BF, but ultimately the best thing is a fed baby and she is thriving. If you want more info www.noteveryonecanbreastfeed.com is a great resource. All that being said, the majority of people can if they so choose. Work with the lactation consultants as much as you can.
5. Babies are new to the world and are learning how to do everything, you are also learning how to do everything. Cut yourself some slack. You are a great mama and will do the best you can for your LO.

What are your thoughts? I'm wondering if you all think these would go over ok?

kristah2

Love these ideas!!

1. Try to be open minded. Pregnancy and birth plans may not always go exactly how you hoped (ie. needing a c section, medication, etc). Making sure the baby is healthy and happy is the most important thing. 
2. All babies are soo different. Don't let your know it all family member or friend make you question yourself. You know your baby better then anyone! 
3. Your baby might not like half the things you buy him/her. Don't buy everything until you figure out what they need! 

desoky01

1. Pelvic exams don't usually tell you how likely/soon you will go into labor, but they might help you know how soon to head to the hospital. As a ftm I was dilated at a 5-6 on a Monday and had my baby early Friday with a 5 1/2 hour labor. 
2. Every pregnancy/labor/birth is different, yours might not look/feel the same as someone else's and that's ok! I didn't have the movie scene emotional moment after my son was born, and at first I felt guilty about that. Sometimes your emotions take a little while to catch up, especially after an intense experience like labor.
3. Sometimes you might have to let others know what you need for support, and what isn't working. I had to tell people to stop telling me that time will go fast, or to enjoy the time when my son is little because it only lasts so long because it gave me panic attacks. Stand up for you and your little one to get what you need. 

SandNStarsNJ

I think the more emotional based stuff could be hit or miss for N17 because they're still so early in their pregnancy. I mean remember when you were just waiting on a cute bump and positive sonogram? Those were the days...

I would probably include:
1. Intuition is there for a reason. Ask the question or make the comment every single time. We know our bodies better than we think we do and certainly better than anyone else. 
2. Stay hydrated almost excessively so during and after pregnancy. You need it as much as LO. 
3. Depends are a pretty awesome post labor alternative to what the hospital provides. 
4. The first six weeks with a new baby can be amazing and challenging. Enjoy them but also accept that sleep and showers may be sparse. 
5. Control how you want the holidays spent with a new baby. If you're not comfortable going to large parties or having tons of people around right away, communicate with your SO. Make a new tradition or just alter the old ones for your newborn year. 

m6agua

@SandNStarsNJ yes! I forgot how amazing depends were after. I was thinking that the personal stuff might be a bit much too, just wasn't sure.

TMI I got the flu 3 days pp and couldn't control my BMs, the depends saved me.

kvruns

1. You get used to strangers reaching up your hoohah. Works well if you have a rotation of Drs at your practice, and even better if there at Med students observing, because in the hospital all bets are off on how many people will see you on display.

2. Embrace maternity clothes! Better to be comfortable than worry about how long you can stay in your regular clothes. 

3. Take lots of pictures of you and the baby in the hospital - even if you think you look bad. I barely have any of me and the baby at the hospital, and forgot to take many of just him in his little diaper, and I regret not having either of these. 

jsmai

Embrace your new body as much as you can while it changes. Take pictures along the way, even if you feel like a big fat whale towards the end of pregnancy. And do your best to ignore people who comment on the shape of your belly whether they think it's too small too big too high or too low. It's just right and none of their damn business anyway.

kvruns

jsmai said:

Embrace your new body as much as you can while it changes. Take pictures along the way, even if you feel like a big fat whale towards the end of pregnancy. And do your best to ignore people who comment on the shape of your belly whether they think it's too small too big too high or too low. It's just right and none of their damn business anyway.

That's a good one. It's important to remember everyone carries differently so try to not compare though it is tough 

anne11716

Everything will be ok! I worried about everything and now wished I had just relaxed and had faith everything was going to be ok. I did have a harder pregnancy but I got through it and baby and I are completely healthy! Just enjoy the journey and don't forget to take time to do things for yourself. 

m6agua

Hello from November 2016 BMB!  We are so excited for you all and having a November baby is great. We really wanted to put something together to say welcome to the November club and congratulations. We each came up with some things we learned along the way, things we wish people would've told us, and just general advice for pregnancy and new babies. Most of us are FTMs so the comments are probably more geared toward those of you whom are FTMs as well. Feel free to pop over to November 2016 to say hi. Once again, congrats to all of you and we hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months!

@m6agua

• Try and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can (even if you are PGAL or PAIF). I know its easier said than done, but it is nice to look back with at least some fond memories. The anxiety struggle is real though. 
• You know your body best, trust your instinct and be your own advocate/voice for your healthcare.
• Birth can be fast even for a FTM! My labor was 7.5 hours from my first "painful contraction" (already 1 min long and 3 mins apart) until birth.
• A fed baby is best. If you really want to breast feed work with the lactation consultants as much as you can. But also understand the BF isn’t for everyone, some choose to formula feed and some don’t have a choice and cannot BF. Don’t let others make you feel guilty for how you choose to feed your baby.
• Babies are new to the world and are learning how to do everything, you are also learning how to do everything. Cut yourself some slack. You are a great mama and will do the best you can for your LO.

 

@kristah2

• Try to be open minded. Pregnancy and birth plans may not always go exactly how you hoped (ie. needing a c section, medication, etc). Making sure the baby is healthy and happy is the most important thing. 
• All babies are so different. Don't let your know it all family member or friend make you question yourself. You know your baby better than anyone! 
• Your baby might not like half the things you buy him/her. Don't buy everything until you figure out what they need! 

 

@desoky01

• Pelvic exams don't usually tell you how likely/soon you will go into labor, but they might help you know how soon to head to the hospital. As a FTM I was dilated at a 5-6 on a Monday and had my baby early Friday with a 5 1/2 hour labor. 
• Every pregnancy/labor/birth is different, yours might not look/feel the same as someone else's and that's ok! I didn't have the movie scene emotional moment after my son was born, and at first I felt guilty about that. Sometimes your emotions take a little while to catch up, especially after an intense experience like labor.
• Sometimes you might have to let others know what you need for support, and what isn't working. I had to tell people to stop telling me that time will go fast, or to enjoy the time when my son is little because it only lasts so long because it gave me panic attacks. Stand up for you and your little one to get what you need.

 

@SandNStarsNJ

• Intuition is there for a reason. Ask the question or make the comment every single time. We know our bodies better than we think we do and certainly better than anyone else. 
• Stay hydrated almost excessively so during and after pregnancy. You need it as much as LO. 
• Depends are a pretty awesome post labor alternative to what the hospital provides. 
• The first six weeks with a new baby can be amazing and challenging. Enjoy them but also accept that sleep and showers may be sparse. 
• Control how you want the holidays spent with a new baby. If you're not comfortable going to large parties or having tons of people around right away, communicate with your SO. Make a new tradition or just alter the old ones for your newborn year. 

 

@kvruns

• You get used to strangers reaching up your hoohah. Works well if you have a rotation of Drs at your practice, and even better if there at Med students observing, because in the hospital all bets are off on how many people will see you on display. 
• Embrace maternity clothes! Better to be comfortable than worry about how long you can stay in your regular clothes.
• Take lots of pictures of you and the baby in the hospital - even if you think you look bad. I barely have any of me and the baby at the hospital, and forgot to take many of just him in his little diaper, and I regret not having either of these. 

 

 @jsmai

• Embrace your new body as much as you can while it changes. Take pictures along the way, even if you feel like a big fat whale towards the end of pregnancy. And do your best to ignore people who comment on the shape of your belly whether they think it's too small too big too high or too low. It's just right and none of their damn business anyway.

 

@anne11716

• Everything will be ok! I worried about everything and now wished I had just relaxed and had faith everything was going to be ok. I did have a harder pregnancy but I got through it and baby and I are completely healthy! Just enjoy the journey and don't forget to take time to do things for yourself.
•  

@lajoliedreamer

• You are your best advocate. Don't every let anyone (medical professional, spouse, family/friends/strangers) make you feel stupid or inconvenient for asking questions or wanting an extra u/s to make sure everything is okay. This goes for during labor too - unless it is an absolute emergency, any decision can wait 15 minutes. Send everyone out of the room but those you want there and make a decision you feel confident in, even if it isn't what was on your birth plan. 

m6agua

What does everyone think of this? I feel like maybe we should put a little something else into the intro to say that we aren't trying to step on any toes and we mean well. Also do we just post a whole new thread? Or do we post on their randoms thread?

ETA or their FTM questions for STM thread?

kvruns

I like it! I think your intro is good as-is, if someone is offended by it or has some sort of ill will then that is all on them, this is perfectly nice and non threatening  

kristah2

I think start a new one so it doesn't get lost. Plus we can pop in to see comments etc! 
ETA: we have about another month or more of new moms joining. It would be nice for them to see it since some may not scroll through every older thread especially a "random" one 

lajoliedreamer

I have one more:

You are your best advocate. Don't ever let anyone (medical professional, spouse, family/friends/strangers) make you feel stupid or inconvenient for asking questions or wanting an extra u/s to make sure everything is okay. This goes for during labor too - unless it is an absolute emergency, any decision can wait 15 minutes. Send everyone out of the room but those you want there and make a decision you feel confident in, even if it isn't what was on your birth plan. 

m6agua

How soon do you think we should post it? I know not everyone has commented in here yet. Maybe on Monday morning?

lajoliedreamer

I know I was just conceiving this time last year and didn't join the group until the end of March so I feel like we might want to wait a couple weeks to have the most visibility. 

Maybe we should consider posting it in its own thread?

leighry

Just remember, in the wonderful chaos that is about to consume you, fed is best! For you and baby! Don't let anyone make you feel wrong in whatever choice you make in regards to feeding baby. You can sometimes be your own worst critic if your feeding plans don't go exactly how you thought they would. Lactation consultants and websites are amazing resources. There is no wrong way or ONE WAY to feed baby. And make sure you take care of you! You can sometimes find an entire day has gone by and you've had all of a handful of goldfish crackers. Stay well hydrated and keep finger snacks handy.

Never feel bad about turning down company. There are days where you want it to just be you and baby without people trucking in and out of the house (even if they come bearing gifts or food.. they can always leave the food on your front steps ;-).) And don't worry about the laundry. It will get done eventually! Enjoy the newborn time as much as you can.

MrsMaryK2016

1. Make sure you're being a good teammate with your partner. If H swaddles baby differently or burps baby differently or sings him the wrong songs it's okay! Be supportive and let him figure it out his way. Some of the biggest fights my H and I have ever had were when he questioned everything I did when M was brand new. It's unfair and not helpful. 

2. You will celebrate poop (your own and your LO's) like you've never celebrated poop before! Colace is your friend, start taking it regularly immediately after birth and don't stop for at least two weeks after. Trust me on this one...

3. If you end up with a c-section, don't be a hero - take your pain pills on time and until the prescription runs out!

4. If you're one of those lucky women who fits in her pre-pregnancy jeans 4 weeks PP, please do the rest of us all a favor and don't brag about it! Just enjoy your miracle metabolism privately while the rest of us work on our remaining 10 pounds, you lucky lucky girl. 

5. Conversely, if you're still lugging around 10 extra pounds 4 months PP remember to be nice to yourself. A negative inner narrative doesn't help you and it's not fair to beat yourself up over it. Remember, that girl who insists on posting a picture on FB in her bikini with her one month old is not normal. 

kvruns

Big YES on #2 @MrsMaryK2016. Wait did you purposely make that 2 on your list haha

MrsMaryK2016

kvruns said:

Big YES on #2 @MrsMaryK2016. Wait did you purposely make that 2 on your list haha

Hahahahaha I wish I was that clever!

SandNStarsNJ

Maybe we could condense these so some don't repeat... I'm on the fence as to whether or not it should be its own thread. I don't think I'm TB savvy enough to know - some boards hate random new threads, others welcome them. Not that we'd be random...

m6agua

SandNStarsNJ said:

Maybe we could condense these so some don't repeat... I'm on the fence as to whether or not it should be its own thread. I don't think I'm TB savvy enough to know - some boards hate random new threads, others welcome them. Not that we'd be random...

I think most boards hate new threads when it is repeating the same subject on another thread, especially things that are common subjects. For example in early pregnancy a lot of new people will post a new thread about every little symptom, when they could have searched for answers and/or posted in the symptoms thread. I know from the boards I've been on they don't want to be treated as someones personal google.

So in this case I think a new thread would be ok.

MrsMaryK2016

Can I be annoying and add one more?

Pack as sleep mask in your hospital bag. The rooms are never completely dark at night and are glaringly bright during the day. The mask was a lifesaver for H and me so we could better nap during the day and sleep at night. 

lajoliedreamer

to add to @MrsMaryK2016's - also pack slippers. I bought a two pair pack at costco for $10 and really appreciated having them to walk around the hospital room post-birth.

SandNStarsNJ

MrsMaryK2016 said:

Can I be annoying and add one more?

Pack as sleep mask in your hospital bag. The rooms are never completely dark at night and are glaringly bright during the day. The mask was a lifesaver for H and me so we could better nap during the day and sleep at night. 

You slept in the hospital?!? Jealous...

MrsMaryK2016

Lol well I use the term "sleep" loosely

Emmaholmes89

Off topic, but it turns out I'm a member of both groups now..... haha #herewegoagain