- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
May 2017 Moms
jayandaplus
member
Pets and baby
jayandaplus
member
I posed this topic in the Randoms, but it seemed to have enough behind it off the bat for it's own thread. So, here we go.
What are your plans for introducing baby-to-be and your furbabies? Anyone have experiences or suggestions?
What are your plans for introducing baby-to-be and your furbabies? Anyone have experiences or suggestions?
Re: Pets and baby
I was proactive though in gating areas from the get go even though we were far from mobility. We have a pretty open floor plan and I could see baby in his RNP in the living room from the kitchen but I had a gate for the living room just so I could keep the dogs out when I wasn't within arms reach. 90% of the time the dogs ignored the baby but it is nice to have a way to guarantee some space during floor play, tummy time, feeding etc. Once he got a little ore alert the dogs were a big nursing distraction and I liked being able to keep them out of the room to prevent niplash.
Our dog has high anxiety and is aggressive towards anyone but us. The exception being the boarder/groomer where he is definitely anxious and acts a bit aggressive at first before warming up. I'm terrified of bringing home baby with him. He is the best dog we have ever had behaviour wise (doesn't chew up stuff, doesn't potty in the house, does not excessively bark, super duper sweet and cuddly), he is just bad with people.
I think once he realizes baby is there to stay he will start to treat them just like us, with lots of love and protection. Our plan in the beginning is to keep baby completely out of his reach and obviously never leave him unsupervised. This is why I've purposely picked a swing that sits up high.
I've been looking into a trainer for him as we are definitely doing that in the next month or so. I found one with great reviews, including a situation near identical to ours (new baby and all), but they said she took the dog for 2 months to re train them. This makes me cry, as in, I am now tearing up typing it. I love my puppy, I don't want to be without him that long! I know it'd be worth it, but.....:(
Sooo....yea. Condensed version: We're hiring someone.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Our current plan is to set up section of the house for baby, and train the dogs now to not go there. We'll see how well it works, but I'm worried Finn will lose his shit every time the baby cries. Maybe he'll get used to it?
To respond to your situation, @nda_roxybabe , we hired a dog trainer for our german shepherd (yup) a few years ago. He took her for over a month, and it was truly traumatic for all of us. I can't say it helped. She's still dog aggressive and very stubborn. But was it worth the try? Yes. I would just caution you not put all of your hope in it, just in case it doesn't pan out perfectly as a solution. Maybe your pup won't be aggressive to baby because it'll smell like you guys and you'll be holding it all the time?
Do you think Finn would get used to the baby after time?
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
I agree that having H bring home something that smells like baby beforehand is a good way to prepare your dog. They'll already have an association to the smell, so it won't be a new thing the first time they meet. When they do first meet, make sure your dog is calm before letting them get close to baby. You want to start their relationship off on the right foot and enforce calm behavior around the baby.
Boundaries! If you're dog is being overly curious or in the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with setting up some boundaries while your dog gets used to the baby and learns appropriate behavior with them. Gates are a good idea if you have a problem with this. Otherwise, make sure you and H are on the same page to tell your dog what's up, so that both of you can enforce appropriate behavior while the other is dealing with the baby. This may simply mean your dog needs to sit down and relax before being able to sniff.
Walks! This is probably my biggest tip. If you're having trouble with dog and baby bonding, go for a daily walk with both, even if it's a short 5 minute loop. Baby can be in a stroller or on you. Walks are the number one thing that bonds a pack, so your dog will feel like baby is part of the family.
Feeding time. Wear baby while you prepare your dog's meals, even if that literally just involves dumping it into the bowl. Your dog will associate meal time (yum!) with the baby being present. When your child is older, I suggest having them help with feedings, as well. This will create respect for your child.
Lastely, please get help if you need it. If your dog has a more serious issue like food/toy aggression, you don't want to risk a problem. You also need to teach your child boundaries, though. No climbing on or picking up the pets. No getting in their face if they're enjoying their own thing (like a bone). But even if it's simpler...your dog pushes into your baby's space too much or jumps on them, for instance...and you don't know how to fix it, get a trainer to come into your home. You may only need to do this once to learn the right tools to teach your dog appropriate behavior. It'll be worth it for a happy household. Also, if anyone ever has something they want specific help with, I'm happy to offer advice. I've been training dogs my whole life and have dealt with the gambit of problems (heck, I've even trained wolves). So I'm happy to try to help, but sometimes it's definitely easier to learn from someone in person.
I don't want the dog to feel like he's constantly getting in trouble or no longer allowed to do things he is allowed to do such as sleep with us, be on the couch (on his blanket), etc. So I guess I need to figure out good boundaries for these situations.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
ETA: And if you do find you need to separate him from your space at times, you could use the special item. He'll associate the reward with his spot, so being separated won't feel like a big deal (he may not even have a problem with being given some boundaries in the first place).
My dogs do sleep in our bedroom during the night, so I am concerned about that since I would like to have the baby in our room for awhile. I'm thinking about getting the Halo Bassinest as it seems sturdy enough that the dogs could not tip it over and I could keep a good eye on baby. (Any recommendations?) I was passed down an Arm's reach co-sleeper, but I just can't see myself using it as a co-sleeper since the dogs could theoretically get in it from the bed and it also has padded sides instead of mesh. I also don't want to transition them out of our bedroom at night because they will probably destroy stuff when given free-reign of the house.
As far as dog training goes, I would recommend to do it if your dogs has not been trained before or could use some more training. We did basic obedience class last summer for both dogs and it helped them and us for learning how to train them. We also developed a great reputation with the trainers and I would not hesitate to call them if something comes up once baby is here.
May '17 labor memes
I'm really not trying to be a Debbie downer, or anything. I just think that most times in this discussion the prevailing thought is that dogs are as important as your kid, and I've been told I'm a terrible person for putting kids before dog, so I'm sharing our story so that if anyone else does end up in our situation, maybe they'll feel less guilty than I have about it.
Most dogs end up being fine with kids!! Our dog (50lb mixed breed.) was not. She became super anxious, was on high alert all the time. We gave her time, extra love, did a lot of the things people are recommending. We thought that as daughter grew, our dog would become more used to her, and calm down. When older daughter started walking, it triggered something in our dog. (We think she may have been abused before we got her from a shelter as a young dog) She would freak out every time daughter fell down while learning to walk. After a week or so, she snapped at daughter's face. We took her to the vet, had a long conversation about behavior, and decided to give her another chance. Less than a week later it happened again. I was literally within arms reach, and that's the only thing that saved my kid's face. It was a super heartbreaking decision(I literally still cry about it sometimes almost two years later) but we did end up having to rehome our dog.
Again, this is not a usual case, and most dogs will be fine! Just be aware that some dogs are not kid dogs. In the end it was healthier for our dog to not have to be in a situation where she was stressed and on high alert all day every day, and for us he safety of our daughter had to come before anything else.
Ugh, and I almost don't want to post this because it's so depressing, but if it can save someone else from beating themselves up over a super difficult decision, then I feel like I have to share it.
In the beginning we never did allow them to be alone in a room together. If I had to leave the room then I made Molly go with me.
How terrible!! I love our dog so much, I can't imagine having to go through such a terrible situation.
Following up on the going for walks idea: Before baby arrived, we took our dog for walks with the empty stroller, so I could focus solely on her behavior and her not running into it, without a baby there splitting my focus. Our dog is super skittish and nervous and scared so much of the time that doing this helped her learn to walk next to the stroller appropriately, with less stress on my part.
@Squirtgun: You're not being a Debbie Downer, you're giving real-world feedback from your own experience. I certainly found it helpful. And I'm so sorry it came to that! That really is heartbreaking.
We had the "baby HAS to come first" talk before he arrived, and decided that if there were even ONE instance of aggression, she'd have to be rehomed. (We had a family member who offered, so at least we had a partial backup plan.) It was a hard convo to have but it ensured that we were on the same page before an incident happened (so that way we weren't fighting with each other and dealing with a disaster/incident at the same time).
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Basically like everyone else said. Bring home clothes, teach the kid "gentle touches" my dogs are great and P could pull their tails, but we don't allow that to happen. Especially because she needs to know how to appropriately act around other dogs. I also third walks! I took my dogs on a walk every morning with DD in the stroller and that definitely helped the "pack" relationship (and helped me drop baby weight! Win for all!)
I had friends that had to rehome their dog. I think people should do whatever they can to make
the situation work, but the kid comes first, always.
Oh we had a cat (she has since passed) and she didn't care about P at all. Just went on about her life.
@nda_roxybabe : I hope Finn the cat will get used to a crying baby. We thought about playing some youtube videos of crying babies around him now to get him acclimated. Too weird?
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation @Squirtgun, but you did the right thing!
@mspacman34: I would recommend the Halo Bassinest. We have it set up already, and it does seem pretty sturdy to me. I mean, if a dog jumped on it it'd probably tip, but I think even a pack and play would fall under a medium to large sized dog, so there's only so much you can expect. Also, if you set it up now, you could help teach the dog that it's a "no-no" piece of furniture. Do your dogs sleep in dog beds? It might be helpful to have them start that, so they can still sleep in your room, but maybe in their beds, not yours? We have dogs beds set up in the living room and the dogs' room (they have their own), and that's the only place they're allowed to sleep.
Also, I just wanted to remind people not to get too stressed about introducing your dog to the new baby. Like @MrsFreeman2010 pointed out with her story, sometimes dogs won't need anything special done to be OK with the new addition. Your dog may do perfectly fine and you might not need to do anything differently than you do now. Just have some things in mind as a place to start if you do end up having any issues. Otherwise, don't fret it too much at this point!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
My biggest concern is our dog sleeps in our bed. I tried to break that habit and eventually caved because I do love to snuggle him! So I need to continue to work on that.
AW: In the meantime here he is "snuggling" his little sister while I wrote this post, though I don't think he has a clue that his whole life is going to change in a few short months!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
My dog sleeps on my every single night! Sometimes it is annoying because I'm not comfortable, but I love him to pieces!! He cuddles with me on the couch too. My husband and I joke that he can hear the baby when he lays his head on my belly
I do currently give give my dog a lot of attention so his need for attention/play time is what worries me the most. He's a border collie/lab so he's very active!! I'm hoping my baby likes the carrier so we can still go to the dog park. Our puppy also has decided the guest bedroom is his... he's in for a rude awakening when we get rid of that bed and set up The nursery. This was him this weekend with a 2yr old, right before this they were chasing each other around my kitchen island for 20 min haha
@squirtgun I’m so sorry that happened. But, thank you for sharing your story with us.
@bacorrea What exactly do the vibration collars do?
@jayandaplus Thank you for your recommendation. My dogs do have dog beds and typically sleep either on the dog bed or under my bed. Rarely does one of them try to sneak onto the end of the bed around 5 a.m. Also, I don’t think it is too weird to play videos of crying babies (maybe because I have already done this some)!
@shadesofGreen816 @nda_roxybabe and @Cubslove12 What sweet doggies!
@mamatowildones I’m sorry about your yorkies.
@starphish18 Thank you for sharing all of those tips! Your post wasn’t there earlier when I posted.https://www.garmin.com/en-US/explore/onthetrail/sporting-dogs#training
the trainer we sent Phineas to is the one who trained introduced us to the product and taught us how to use it when he brought him back. I don't recommend anyone going out and buying one without know what they are doing. We normally keep our collars on a level 3 which doesn't hurt the dogs at all (I've done it on myself) it just is a quick reminder for them to "leave it" or "off" in the event they don't listen to the commands. They are so great now they listen to the commands without having to use the collar. I only had to use it on a higher level once because Phineas ran away. He came back immediately.
I know collars can be controversial, but it isn't a shock collar and we don't use a barking feature. The trainer had us feel what the level was like so we would know. Also I love that they have a 10 second hold - as in you can't hold the button down for a long time to attempt to hurt your dog, it shuts off. Which is great!
My dog has definitely been more neurotic lately in a protective way. She's not a barker, but she's been running to the door and barking at it whenever she thinks she hears something. She might end up being protective over the baby, but I don't think it'll be anything we can't handle. Bringing home something that smells like the baby is a good idea. I think we'll try that.
Here's a picture of my dog being brushed by my 4-year-old niece
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
cats, nothing special, play a recording of a baby crying to get them used to it, and teach them to stay away from the crib (cats sleeping on babies faces is a surprisingly common issue)
cats HATE citrus, use this to your advantage (in doorways, spray the crib bedding with lemon etc) and start asap to get them used to it
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
Y'all, I shared all the suggestions with DH yesterday and it was a great conversation. I think we're both feeling much more hopeful and empowered now than before. We had talked about a lot of these things before this thread, but the validation has done wonders for me emotionally. So, thanks!
We have 2 cats and utilized a Ssscat in the crib as soon as it was put together last time. It is a motion sensor spray. It only took two times of them jumping in each to realize that was a no go zone. We did send home a blanket early with whoever was checking on the cats while we were at the hospital. We were surprised by the reaction of our cats. They are both great to us, but one is an asshole to other people (Mimsy) and the other is chill and loving to everyone (Frank). Turns out Frank is terrified of DS and will not come within 5 feet of him, while Mimsy is cool with him laying his head on her and trying to learn to pet her. We did not see that coming.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
Couldnt help but share!
I'm so looking forward to our little girl growing up with him. He's super excitable and does jump a bit, which is not good, but he can handle anything. We have two nieces age 4 and 2 and the 2 year old is a crazy person and pulls on him and tries to feed him but won't let go of the food, we've kept a good eye on her when she's around him but he is completely fine when she does this.
I think I'm more sad that I won't be able to cuddle with Dozer the same as my belly grows, as that is where he is cuddling with me currently.