Well...that is some of the tragic part. 1) she is not married to my BIL yet...some day I guess. She is 23 he is 31 so eventually. However....only in laws are extended it seems besides my husbands step dad (his younger brothers dad lol)...Both our Moms passed away the past two years and My sister dad was dead years ago. So yea lots of hot messy stuff but the 2) the inlaws that are around seem to be over the moon for them and offered to throw them a shower...a lot of things and behaviors never done with us...so this is why we feel better keeping a secret longer just to avoid any potential drama
I really want to start telling our immediate families and close friends soon (I'm 5w+3d). We live in the same city as all of our parents and see them pretty frequently, so it's going to be hard to keep secret for too long. H's brother is getting married in November, one month after our EDD, so I feel like we should keep them in the loop. Plus I'd like to be able to tell a couple of my closest coworkers because the way I'm feeling changes by the minute. And I'm really bad at keeping secrets in general!
However, H feels more strongly that there's no rush and we should wait until the first trimester is over. I'm trying to find a compromise for our families, like 8-9 weeks. I don't plan to tell my students or post on social media until 12-14 weeks.
I'm in the same boat as @roo_baby - I have a good friend who's been trying for 1.5 years now. Pretty sure she knows we were trying, but I dread telling her. I know she'll be happy for us.. but if I were in her shoes, I'd be devastated. Still thinking about how to break it to her gently when the time comes.
I would really love to hold off on telling immediate family and close friends until after 8 weeks/viability is confirmed. However, if my mom asks (She knows we've been trying) I don't think I can keep a straight face. I have to have dinner with her on Saturday. Lord help me! As for everyone else- We'll probably make a social media post after 12 weeks.
We told work and my husband decided to tell a couple mutual friends right away. We are telling parents next week. Then my other cousin and grandparents at 8 weeks. After those, we will announce it publicly after the first trimester ends.
We want to avoid telling anyone until I go to the doctor. After that, we'll tell immediate family and then after most of the 1st trimester is behind us, we'll tell everyone else. I want to tell everyone now but I know that's not a good idea.
Me: 29 DH: 32 Married 9/27/2014 TTC Since 1/1/2017 BFP: 2/6/2017 Due Date: 10/13/17
roo_baby - As someone who has been through it, I'd tell close friends or family who are having trouble TTC or waiting on their rainbow baby in private and separate of how you announce to everyone else. Like if you're going to do a FB announcement, text them a couple days before so they can prepare and choose to stay off Facebook if they wish. For me, I really appreciated it when my friends sent me a text to let me know so I wasn't caught off guard when everyone knew.
As for when we'll tell. It's a big ball of I don't know. I've already told my bestie. I'll probably wait to tell my close circle of friends until after the first dr appointment. We will be doing the Harmony test, so I'll probably wait until those results come back to share more broadly.
I don't know when we will tell families. Like legit no idea.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@ShakeUpTampa I have "double first cousins" too. My dad's sister is married to my mom's brother lol. It was always so confusing to people growing up. We have always been really close.
@ShakeUpTampa I have "double first cousins" too. My dad's sister is married to my mom's brother lol. It was always so confusing to people growing up. We have always been really close.
Glad to hear others have the same! Not me, but my cousins are double cousins. My mom's brothers married sisters.
As for publicly announcing, we will probably wait awhile. After two losses, it just seems like the right thing to do. We have told a couple of our best friends, and I just found out dh told his parents and brother and now my mom knows - lol - but these are all people who will be there for us if anything goes wrong again.
if we do do a Facebook post, it will be honest about our loss history and everything because the last thing I want is somebody to see a cutesy post and just think getting here was easy for us. Especially if other people are going through the same, it might make it easier for them to talk about it also.
With DS, we told parents, my sister and my best friend at about 8 weeks. Work was next, at about 12 weeks, and everyone else slowly after that. I didn't make a social media announcement, but my cousin outed me on Facebook at about 6 months. Those friends who weren't local to use were pretty hurt that we hadn't said anything. That sucked.
So far, I've only told my N14 façebook group and one friend. I'll probably follow the same timeline as before about telling family's and friends.
I sooooo want to tell my parents in person so I'll be waiting until I can see them again, at 15 weeks. Until then I'm keeping my mouth shut unless I absolutely HAVE to.
We've told another couple that we're close friends with a few days after finding out that I was pregnant, and my husband told his mom and I told my brother but that's it so far. I want to wait until we get past the 8 week mark to tell more folks, and then announce it publicly on FB. I would rather wait until it's safe to announce it to everyone in the event something goes wrong.
I'm also a small business owner and I'm the person who provides direct service to my clients-my constant morning sickness has made it hard to work-I actually cancelled my afternoon appointments last Friday and called in "sick" to sleep. I don't regret it, because I felt like a Mac truck had run me over, but I don't know how many times I can pull that without spilling the beans.
Only a couple more weeks...
June 2017 Siggy Challenge: "You had one job to do!"
We will tell our girls after our first appt and have something tangible for them to see. I will send a cute announcement card to our family ( they live 3 hours away so in person really isnt going to work). Then after 12 weeks, publicly announce with same photos/card via FB etc.... *TW* My predicament is that my SIL (DH's sister) cant carry her own children. She and her husband have 3 embryos frozen for surrogacy-Something she asked me to do in the past but cant becase of my MC history. Im sort of scared shell be upset that were on our 3rd, even though shes an amazing aunt and loves her neices to pieces.
So far only my sister and SO know. I'm waiting until after my next two appointments that are this week and next week before we tell our parents. I won't tell my bosses until I'm close to publicly announcing which will be on fb as alot of our families live far away and we have big families so I like them to be able to be in the loop via fb. I won't tell my two best friends until we are close to publicly announcing as they both just had mc's just after Christmas two weeks apart from each other so it was a really sad time. They both know we've been trying for another baby for the past 8 months but I still get anxious about telling them as I already have a daughter and since having a child I have already felt a little distanced from them since one doesn't have any children and the other has a step daughter that is 4 but they don't have her all that often. I'm afraid this news will distanced us even more even though I'm sure they will be very happy for us it's still hard to think of that happening.
I have a double cousin too! Two sisters married two brothers...we've grown up together like sisters. She will def be the first person I tell that I'm pregnant.
This is our second baby so I want my daughter to tell everyone! With a custom made onsie because she doesn't talk yet at only 8 months old. My husbands brother and his wife told us they were pregnant the day before we found out about ourselves. They are still telling people in the family as they see them so we are waiting until Easter. We are also waiting because we are a high risk pregnancy. The onsie says: "the egg hung is over we found our treat our family is growing by one heart and two feet! Baby Lewis is Due Oct 2017"
@blewis2011 uhhh... would you mind if I borrowed that poem for my announcement? I love it!
--------
I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
ugh, when I asked H when he would feel comfortable sharing the news, his response was "never? I mean, not never, but not until the baby is here."
UM WHAT? NO WE AREN'T WAITING UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN TO TELL OUR FAMILIES.
I get his concern. He's tired of telling people we're pregnant and then *TW* having to tell them something went wrong. *TW*
But there has got to be some point in time when we can share? I'm doing the NIPT testing, so I'm comfortable sharing if/when that gives us the all clear.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@Tennis11785 That doesn't even make any sense. How are you supposed to "hide" your pregnancy especially towards the second half when you're showing?! I too get his concern but I feel like there will be some hurt feelings if you keep it to yourselves too long.
Me: 29 DH: 32 Married 9/27/2014 TTC Since 1/1/2017 BFP: 2/6/2017 Due Date: 10/13/17
@feeislove - Right? What do I tell people, I'm just getting fat in a strange and specific way? Can you imagine actually trying to hide it for the whole 9 months?!? I'm pretty sure if the NIPT comes back ok, he will be comfortable sharing. Knowledge = power.
And you're right, could you imagine how hurt our families would be if we waited that long. It's obviously not a realistic option.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
If I can hide this through the back to back baby showers March 11/12th i'll be happy but I would prefer to do our announcement in a fun way like buying our next vehicle and showing two car seats in it lol.
Thank you all for the excellent and thoughtful advice. I'm still planning to tell my parents after our appt today (fingers crossed), but will wait a day or two to tell my sister, probably over email so she has time to react privately before we talk over the phone. We will tell our friends who are trying privately, but in person since they are local.
Wellll I was too excited and told my coworkers right away, because we're all friends and they knew we were trying. But we're waiting to tell our families until Easter if we can get away with it, because they didn't have positive things to say about us having another child.
I'm going back home next week (I'll be 5 weeks) for a big drinking winter festival. Everyone's going to notice me not drinking, haven't figured out what to do yet. Def don't want to tell anyone outside of immediate family!
I've told my SO and we told his dad. We're waiting to tell my mom when she gets home from Florida in March. I'll be 8 weeks. We work together so it's no use trying to keep it a secret. Knowing her she will blab the second she knows, so we'll announce soon after that because I want it to be our announcement not hers.
After I get a positive heartbeat scan post 8weeks then we decided to tell family and close friends. The exception is I'm telling my BFF this weekend (6weeks). Everyone else after a healthy NT scan.
We plan to tell my family in person around 10 weeks, since they will be visiting. We'll call his family right afterwards, and probably announce to the public a week or two after.
@ShakeUpTampa Tampa actually I'm in a somewhat similar situation. My younger sister is Married to my husband's younger brother. She's not pregnant, but my childhood friend who is my husbands older sister is. She's about 2 weeks behind me and wasn't sure when to announce because she didn't want to steal attention away from me. Funny thing is that she would've been very obvious she was pregnant because she now has a ferocious appetite that's never satisfied, and she's one of the most petite people I know and is notorious for never finishing a meal and being a light eater.
My 2nd pregnancy I waited till I was 5mos to announce it to our families. It was cool cause we were able to also tell them it was a boy. This time around im contemplating telling my mom like now cause im freaking out about 3 kids. Also since my 2nd is 1yr 9mos. So far only 2 friends, my husband and our oldest son know.
I'm dying to know how everyone is planning to announce? With Easter coming up shortly after our first appt, I think it would be so fun to do something then. But I need ideas!!!
I'm waiting til my first ultrasound around 13 weeks. Easter I'll be 12 weeks. I'm hoping to get one before easter, I might bribe the doc, I'll only be in my 11th week though and idk if I'd be comfortable with it. I plan to subtly send my dds inside with a big sister shirt and see how long it takes my mom to read it
@mrs_fogue I am still in the planning stages and keep running so many idea in my head , but here is one I may do:
I bought a cute shirt on clearance at Kohls while TTC that is aqua with black band stripes ( think like a football jersey but t shirt material) and has a "3" in the front upper left corner. I was thinking of having All of us stand in a row with DD 1 holding up 1 finger, DD2 holding up 2, and then DH and myself point to the number 3 on my shirt and my belly. we may do that one for our family. We're printing it out and mailing it to our family since they all live a few states away along with a few items that say " grandma/grandpa/aunt/uncle....again". I need to send my SIL something even more special because she had a full hysterectomy a few years ago and still has not gone through surrogacy ( which she had asked me to do for her but DH vetoed and I can't do to MC history) I know she'll be a little heartbroken but loves her nieces to pieces.
I've been trolling Pinterest for ideas for FB announcement. There are a ton of cute ideas. Just search "pregnancy announcement near Easter"
@canonmom413 oh yeah, I've been pinning away. Just nothing has hit me with as "the one." I did see one easter egg that was painted like a jack-o-lantern and said something about being due Halloween which I thought was cute.
With our first pregnancy (ended in MC) we told everyone at 6 weeks. It was hard to deal with everyone knowing and constantly bringing it up. My son was born January 2016, and after previous experience we decided to wait until we were 12 weeks to tell with him. So this time, as optimistic as we are, now that we know we can conceive, we still want to wait until 12 weeks. I know things can still happen after that but I feel safer at that point to tell.
We are planning on waiting until we have had the 12 week scan. I'm currently 7 weeks 2 days pregnant. This is my first pregnancy after 2 years of 'trying' so as well as being extremely happy, we are being cautious until we know all is OK via a scan. It's actually quite nice just us two knowing even though I'm desperate to tell my mum! I just feel the more people you tell, the more you would have to un-tell if something went wrong. But each to their own. Good luck everyone!!!
Waiting until the 11 or 12wk mark to make our announcement...My friend agreed to do our announcement pics today. DH will suit up in his fire gear, and I'll wear my ACUs and we're going hold to a onsie that says something like "Our Future Volunteer is Expected 10/16/17" with the Fire and Army emblems on it. Can't. Wait.
Re: Publicly Announcing
However, H feels more strongly that there's no rush and we should wait until the first trimester is over. I'm trying to find a compromise for our families, like 8-9 weeks. I don't plan to tell my students or post on social media until 12-14 weeks.
I would really love to hold off on telling immediate family and close friends until after 8 weeks/viability is confirmed. However, if my mom asks (She knows we've been trying) I don't think I can keep a straight face. I have to have dinner with her on Saturday. Lord help me! As for everyone else- We'll probably make a social media post after 12 weeks.
BFP #2 3/18/19 * EDD 11/25/19* DS born 11/30/19
Married 9/27/2014
TTC Since 1/1/2017
BFP: 2/6/2017
Due Date: 10/13/17
As for when we'll tell. It's a big ball of I don't know. I've already told my bestie. I'll probably wait to tell my close circle of friends until after the first dr appointment. We will be doing the Harmony test, so I'll probably wait until those results come back to share more broadly.
I don't know when we will tell families. Like legit no idea.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
As for publicly announcing, we will probably wait awhile. After two losses, it just seems like the right thing to do. We have told a couple of our best friends, and I just found out dh told his parents and brother and now my mom knows - lol - but these are all people who will be there for us if anything goes wrong again.
if we do do a Facebook post, it will be honest about our loss history and everything because the last thing I want is somebody to see a cutesy post and just think getting here was easy for us. Especially if other people are going through the same, it might make it easier for them to talk about it also.
Me.30 DH.31
BFP 2/3/17...edd 10/13/17
So far, I've only told my N14 façebook group and one friend. I'll probably follow the same timeline as before about telling family's and friends.
I'm also a small business owner and I'm the person who provides direct service to my clients-my constant morning sickness has made it hard to work-I actually cancelled my afternoon appointments last Friday and called in "sick" to sleep. I don't regret it, because I felt like a Mac truck had run me over, but I don't know how many times I can pull that without spilling the beans.
Only a couple more weeks...
*TW*
My predicament is that my SIL (DH's sister) cant carry her own children. She and her husband have 3 embryos frozen for surrogacy-Something she asked me to do in the past but cant becase of my MC history. Im sort of scared shell be upset that were on our 3rd, even though shes an amazing aunt and loves her neices to pieces.
edit to add TW
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
My husbands brother and his wife told us they were pregnant the day before we found out about ourselves. They are still telling people in the family as they see them so we are waiting until Easter. We are also waiting because we are a high risk pregnancy.
The onsie says:
"the egg hung is over
we found our treat
our family is growing
by one heart and two feet!
Baby Lewis is Due Oct 2017"
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
UM WHAT? NO WE AREN'T WAITING UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN TO TELL OUR FAMILIES.
I get his concern. He's tired of telling people we're pregnant and then *TW* having to tell them something went wrong. *TW*
But there has got to be some point in time when we can share? I'm doing the NIPT testing, so I'm comfortable sharing if/when that gives us the all clear.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Married 9/27/2014
TTC Since 1/1/2017
BFP: 2/6/2017
Due Date: 10/13/17
And you're right, could you imagine how hurt our families would be if we waited that long. It's obviously not a realistic option.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@blewis2011 that poem is too cute!
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
It's so hard though....I want to tell everyone!!!
I'm dying to know how everyone is planning to announce? With Easter coming up shortly after our first appt, I think it would be so fun to do something then. But I need ideas!!!
I bought a cute shirt on clearance at Kohls while TTC that is aqua with black band stripes ( think like a football jersey but t shirt material) and has a "3" in the front upper left corner. I was thinking of having All of us stand in a row with DD 1 holding up 1 finger, DD2 holding up 2, and then DH and myself point to the number 3 on my shirt and my belly. we may do that one for our family. We're printing it out and mailing it to our family since they all live a few states away along with a few items that say " grandma/grandpa/aunt/uncle....again". I need to send my SIL something even more special because she had a full hysterectomy a few years ago and still has not gone through surrogacy ( which she had asked me to do for her but DH vetoed and I can't do to MC history) I know she'll be a little heartbroken but loves her nieces to pieces.
I've been trolling Pinterest for ideas for FB announcement. There are a ton of cute ideas. Just search "pregnancy announcement near Easter"
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"