People can be so funny sometimes. I'm typically a brunette but I do have quite the red tinge in my hair especially in the summer. My parents have zero. I get it from a bit further down the line from both my great-grandmothers. Then again I also have strands through my hair that look crimped, I called it my African-American hair. If I had a whole head of it that's legitimately what it would look like. It's super coarse as well, but just those strands. No one knows where I got that from. I'm as white as they come! lol
Edit: words
So funny! I was a hair stylist for 10 years and know that most people have some crazy to their hair. I never met my dh's biological father so had no idea where it came from. We love the red hair!!!
Just saw a post on Fb for a "live event" gender reveal of a friend of mine. Barf.
I think as I get older I've realized no one cares about your wedding/pregnancy as much as you do. Or your close family. But your hoards of FB friends are certainly not marking it down on the calendar.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
Just saw a post on Fb for a "live event" gender reveal of a friend of mine. Barf.
I think as I get older I've realized no one cares about your wedding/pregnancy as much as you do. Or your close family. But your hoards of FB friends are certainly not marking it down on the calendar.
^^^THIS. I try to avoid posting about the pregnancy on social media (except for the occasional pic on Instagram) because I know no one cares about my symptoms, or what foods I'm eating, or how much I've been throwing up. And I certainly don't care about other people's! I've already unfollowed a lot of people for posting annoying stuff about their pregnancies.
I do have to admit I was an oversharer of bump pictures on Instagram with my first. I took one like every two weeks. NO ONE CARES. I'm sure I'll post a few this time around but only because I like them archived forrrrreeevvvveeeerrrrr.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
Just saw a post on Fb for a "live event" gender reveal of a friend of mine. Barf.
I think as I get older I've realized no one cares about your wedding/pregnancy as much as you do. Or your close family. But your hoards of FB friends are certainly not marking it down on the calendar.
I went to one that they went "live" during. I was like, I could've stayed home and watched this on the couch! Plus I already knew the sex because she told me ahead of time!
Ugh @PurplePoppy424 your boss sounds horrible!! as far as my friend goes, @caribbeanmama, she is in sort of an "it's complicated" kind of situation ... basically has been for a decade -- the second half of which they've spent in different countries (multiple countries for each of them)... I've tried to understand it but it has never made sense to me. Like what's the endpoint? Sure long distance can work but there has to be some sort of goal to be in the same place eventually?? I've given up trying to understand years ago though. I've known her forever (and him for a decade now that I think about it) and that's just how she chooses to handle things which is her right. And I'm not pushing her into talking about it since she obviously doesn't want to. I feel bad for her but at the same time I know that she could meet someone locally and settle down, or find a way to actually be in the same place with that guy, but chooses not to. So I don't feel like I can (or should) tell her what to do. I didn't need her to get all giddy over the baby; this weekend was our weekend not a "let's celebrate my pregnancy" weekend... but it's so important to me and it hurts that she doesn't seem to care... I'm glad you guys get it.
@mj8215 Work was super hectic - so am just getting to reply...
Now I don't know your friend and I am totally projecting here so forgive me...
I was in a 7 year long distance relationship that I refused to give up because I thought the guy was everything I wanted. I had this insane hope that things would magically work out - and was so caught up in the fantasy and my feelings that I couldn't see what others could clearly see... I was so in love with him that it took years to extricate myself and walk away and see that he was never going to move and that I needed to get on with my life else I would be in that holding pattern forever. I don't know how to describe it - but it's like you are in a haze and no one can you drag you out of it but you.
Now during that time I had a couple friendships (not 20 year friends mind you) that changed dramaticallly once they got pregnant and had a baby. (We don't hang out any more.) I realize now that I was too caught up in my own haze and self-absorbed to think to ask about the pregnancy in any real way. And in many regards I now realize that those 2 friends probably wanted and expected more from me. They had moved to a new and exciting place in life that I didn't understand or connect to. I just wanted things to go on as usual and for us to talk about the things we always talk about. I was completely oblivious! Now I'm not saying this is the same as your friend's case just saying that personally I could see how that could happen.
So, my unsolicited opinion is that you have to say something to her. (I think you will feel better to get it off your chest.) In the offchance that she is too selfabsorbed in where she is to transition with you to the next stage in your life, twenty years of friendship means you give her the opportunity to be a better friend to you. I'm sure she cares about you and perhaps just doesn't get how big of a deal this is. She could also be managing feelings of sadness because of the impending change that will/may occur in your friendship and doesn't know how to express that.
**Just want to reinforce again that your feelings are completely valid and I'm not trying to give your friend a pass.
@mj8215 I wanted to offer another unsolicited perspective on your friend. I've wanted a baby for several years (I'm 33), but for a very long time, life circumstances made it seem impossible. During this time nearly all of my friends have had 1 or more children and each pregnancy announcement was very hard on me. I tried to be excited for them but I would literally go home and sob. I was thrilled for my friends, but every time it was a reminder of how far away I was from having something I desperately wanted. I'm not saying this is what's happening with your friend, but it could be.
Now that I'm on the other side of this, I totally understand your feelings too - I would also be hurt if a good friend didn't acknowledge my pregnancy at all. Anyway, with such a long time friend, I think it's worth talking to her about it.
My Wednesday rant goes out to winter. I hate winter!!!! I hate being cold and the snow. It's snowing like crazy out which means I'll be stuck inside all day. No running, grocery shopping, or trivia. I work from home and sometimes just can't stand being inside all day.
i also feel like I have nothing to look forward to. We don't have an appointment yet for our anatomy scan. I have no plans to travel, no fun events in the near future, nothing to keep me going through this awful winter. All there is to look forward to is shoveling snow and being stuck inside. Aaahhhh!!!!!
So my BF goes to my husband, who woke me up at 2:40 this morning because he had "red spots" on his arm. -_- they basically looked like a couple of bug bites or something similarly harmless so I told him to put some cortisone on them and we'd see how it looked in the morning. Then he couldn't find the cortisone so I had to get up and get it for him. And then of course I couldn't fall asleep for another HOUR while he slept soundly next to me. I tried making noises and moving around a bunch in the bed to wake him up so he could suffer with me but it didn't work
TTC history in spoiler
Me: 31 Him: 37 Married: Oct 2015 Baby G born June 2017 TTC#2: July 2018 BFP #2: 2/6/19 MC 3/14/19 BFP#3 from IUI #2: 6/30/20 EDD 3/9/21
Just saw a post on Fb for a "live event" gender reveal of a friend of mine. Barf.
I think as I get older I've realized no one cares about your wedding/pregnancy as much as you do. Or your close family. But your hoards of FB friends are certainly not marking it down on the calendar.
I went to one that they went "live" during. I was like, I could've stayed home and watched this on the couch! Plus I already knew the sex because she told me ahead of time!
What's the point of a reveal if the parents know the sex ahead of time? I am not a fan of big reveal parties so to me the only redeeming aspect of it would be seeing my friend's excitement when they found out. Otherwise, why bother?
My Wed bf is my boss - he insisted on meeting in Newport RI (3.5 Hrs drive for me) at 9am and he was an hour late!!! I left my house at 4:50; he left his at 7:15
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
@manillabar My husband can find literally nothing in our house. Asking him to get something is pointless because I always have to get up anyways. And he can't even locate his own shoes sometimes. It's like his eyes are incapable of discerning objects.
@oheliza44 and @LuLiLaEv We're going to know before we do the party, but it's only for our parents and grandparents, and they have all seemed genuinely interested/curious and have been placing bets on what the baby is going to be. Maybe they're just playing along, but if that's true they're really playing it up. It's fun for us to mess with them before we fully reveal. I don't know if this applies to anyone else or anyone else's family, but it's fun for ours.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
So my BF goes to my husband, who woke me up at 2:40 this morning because he had "red spots" on his arm. -_- they basically looked like a couple of bug bites or something similarly harmless so I told him to put some cortisone on them and we'd see how it looked in the morning. Then he couldn't find the cortisone so I had to get up and get it for him. And then of course I couldn't fall asleep for another HOUR while he slept soundly next to me. I tried making noises and moving around a bunch in the bed to wake him up so he could suffer with me but it didn't work
I had to read this a handful of times to remember I was on the bitch fest thread! I kept reading it as my "my boyfriend goes to my husband" and I kept trying to figure out what was happening at your house. Lol Not judging if that's the real case at anyone's homes.
@alcrimmins LOL! Same here! I tried to reread as best friend, too, but it still didn't work out well. It took some time before I realized what BF was actually referring to Too funny @manillabar
Do not question my parenting choices, especially when I have made my position perfectly clear multiple times on this exact subject. MIL gave me a dirty look and says TO MY SON "where's your jacket or your snow suit? What if you get in an accident? I don't think your mom understands how cold it gets in the back seat". He is only a year and a half, doesn't understand it, but it pissed me off that she directed her condescension at him. I replied with "it is in the car in case he needs it, it isn't cold in the back seat, it is a fucking prius 5, a compact car and 75 degrees inside. He doesn't need a snowsuit, it is nearly 40 degrees outside. Alot has changed since you raised your kids 50 years ago." She REALLY hasn't liked me since. Don't f-ing question my parenting choices. No other mother here straps her kid into a car seat in a puffy jacket or snow suit. Because it is dangerous and the harness will not function correctly in the event of an accident. She replied with "well we didn't have carseats when I was raising my kids, and they survived". Um, yay? So I should just not strap my kid into a car seat then? Where the fuck did that logic come from? Oh and every room she leaves smells like fish sticks. Clean your crotch please ladies, every day. And it isn't supposed to smell like roses, but it isn't supposed to smell like that either, so if it does, go to the doctor. Get that shit fixed.
@CarsonsMommy HAHA! The fishsticks thing was my MBF for last week because of a movie theater bathroom incident on Saturday actually. It was HORRIBLE. I had to leave gagging.
@CarsonsMommy Sounds like something my MIL would do. I love how they never direct this towards dad. It's always towards Mom and holy hell does it piss me off.
@CarsonsMommy I cannot stand the "well my kid/I survived" mentality. And? Do you want me to apologize for having kids/living my life in a different time than you? You had your chance to raise your kids how you wanted to, leave mine and my life alone.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@maybeitsmadeline yes! I remember that! I actually giggled and then sobered because this is my life right now lol
@PurplePoppy424 yes, and he really doesn't see it because he only hears it from me. She NEVER does it in front of him she let the snowsuit thing go for a few weeks because I had him come to my defense, but she just picked it up again. My Cousin in law said it is useless arguing with her, she will never see it your way. But I am notgoing to dress him in a snowsuit everytime I leave the house only to take it off once we get to the car which is 5 ft away.
@kerils, yes, this. Doesn't make your opinion suddenly valid because you survived or because cars back in your day didn't have good heating systems. We even got into it about circumcision (my son is circumcised for aesthetic reasons, but I do not think it necessary for medical reasons, and she does) told her that the skin does not need to be pulled back for cleaning and is actually quite painful for a baby and she insisted it does. And cord stump care.
@carsonsmommy omg I just LOL-ed so hard at your fish sticks rant.
I also can't stand the "well I didn't sit in a car seat and I survived" mentality. Guess what, the children that didn't survive aren't fucking here to tell us about how they died in a car accident due to being improperly buckled. That shit drives me crazy. DH actually jokingly said that once when I was researching car seats and I lost it on him. He won't make that mistake again.
That mentality drives me up the wall too. And what is the obsession with socks? Both mine and DHs parents obsessively comment over socks - my kids hate hem and I can barely keep them on for more than a few minutes. In the winter they are in zippys but when it's 70-75 degrees in the house the babies don't need socks and I am not going to follow them around putting them on after they take them off every 5 minutes.
My BF is at DH. Yes he is an amazing guy with a sparkling personality but he was a complete douche canoe this morning. He, himself alone, misplaced a few hundred dollars that he was going to deposit before work. Can't find it, gets stressed, starts freaking out about the house being messy (kitchen was a bit cluttered but nothing crazy) and getting upset about everything BUT him being an idiot for losing the money. Honestly that all good and fine I know how that can be stressful, but he YELLED at our 1 year old. He was following him around and kept getting in his way as he was running around so he yelled and told him to move, it wasn't a more than "move, get away from me" but it was angry, I don't think we have ever yelled in anger (frustration and firmness yes) at the babies. My sweet little boy collapsed on the floor and started sobbing. I saw red in the worst way, I didn't say anything at the time, I located the money which was where he left it and got him out of the house.
He called and texted to apologize on his way to work and then had me FaceTime with the babies (which he has never done) so he could talk to them. I may have laid the mommy guilt on him thick but if you had seen how crushed my baby was you'd have done the same
@dcwtada oh no, your poor baby! My heart aches when my little guy even misunderstands the tone and starts crying because he thinks he did something wrong. Your little guy just wanted his daddy
And sorry you all had a rough morning. I will say it was awesome of him to call and apologize and to facetime with the LO's (even if you guilted him in to it). Hope the rest of your day is better!
Thank you - everything was back to normal before lunchtime @SquirttheTurtle
DH doesn't have a temper at all (though he can be a grump) and usually lets the kids get away with murder so this was out of character and once we found the money he did a 180 - frankly I am certain he was pissed at himself and it was being transferred. And I will say I didn't guilt him into the call itself, he had texted to apologize to me for being said douche canoe and asked if I'd forgive him. I was still pissed so all I said is "its not my feelings that got hurt" he texted back to FaceTime with Davey.
He adores his dad to almost hero worship and the kid will jump off a couch and barely flinch but his dad yelling at him when all he was doing was following him around crushed him. I still grit my teeth thinking about it. And I know I am not perfect and once he talked to the babies I wasn't mad at DH anymore but the memory still riles me up a bit.
@CarsonsMommy I came across this and thought you'd get a kick out of it too. I cried laughing! My MIL is not all bad but some days... Sorry if it's huge! Mobil bumping
TTC #1: Mirena removed 5/26/2015; DH - normal SA, me - diagnosed with PCOS 8/4/2016 - on Metformin; BFP - 10/29/2016!!!, EDD - 7/8/2017; DD born 6/29/2017
Re: Monday Bitchfest, week of 1/23
I think as I get older I've realized no one cares about your wedding/pregnancy as much as you do. Or your close family. But your hoards of FB friends are certainly not marking it down on the calendar.
Now I don't know your friend and I am totally projecting here so forgive me...
I was in a 7 year long distance relationship that I refused to give up because I thought the guy was everything I wanted. I had this insane hope that things would magically work out - and was so caught up in the fantasy and my feelings that I couldn't see what others could clearly see... I was so in love with him that it took years to extricate myself and walk away and see that he was never going to move and that I needed to get on with my life else I would be in that holding pattern forever. I don't know how to describe it - but it's like you are in a haze and no one can you drag you out of it but you.
Now during that time I had a couple friendships (not 20 year friends mind you) that changed dramaticallly once they got pregnant and had a baby. (We don't hang out any more.) I realize now that I was too caught up in my own haze and self-absorbed to think to ask about the pregnancy in any real way. And in many regards I now realize that those 2 friends probably wanted and expected more from me. They had moved to a new and exciting place in life that I didn't understand or connect to. I just wanted things to go on as usual and for us to talk about the things we always talk about. I was completely oblivious! Now I'm not saying this is the same as your friend's case just saying that personally I could see how that could happen.
So, my unsolicited opinion is that you have to say something to her. (I think you will feel better to get it off your chest.) In the offchance that she is too selfabsorbed in where she is to transition with you to the next stage in your life, twenty years of friendship means you give her the opportunity to be a better friend to you. I'm sure she cares about you and perhaps just doesn't get how big of a deal this is. She could also be managing feelings of sadness because of the impending change that will/may occur in your friendship and doesn't know how to express that.
**Just want to reinforce again that your feelings are completely valid and I'm not trying to give your friend a pass.
Sorry for the long post - I suffer from LPS.
Now that I'm on the other side of this, I totally understand your feelings too - I would also be hurt if a good friend didn't acknowledge my pregnancy at all. Anyway, with such a long time friend, I think it's worth talking to her about it.
i also feel like I have nothing to look forward to. We don't have an appointment yet for our anatomy scan. I have no plans to travel, no fun events in the near future, nothing to keep me going through this awful winter. All there is to look forward to is shoveling snow and being stuck inside. Aaahhhh!!!!!
Married: Oct 2015
Baby G born June 2017
TTC#2: July 2018
BFP #2: 2/6/19 MC 3/14/19
BFP#3 from IUI #2: 6/30/20 EDD 3/9/21
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
@oheliza44 and @LuLiLaEv We're going to know before we do the party, but it's only for our parents and grandparents, and they have all seemed genuinely interested/curious and have been placing bets on what the baby is going to be. Maybe they're just playing along, but if that's true they're really playing it up. It's fun for us to mess with them before we fully reveal. I don't know if this applies to anyone else or anyone else's family, but it's fun for ours.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Married: Oct 2015
Baby G born June 2017
TTC#2: July 2018
BFP #2: 2/6/19 MC 3/14/19
BFP#3 from IUI #2: 6/30/20 EDD 3/9/21
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@PurplePoppy424 yes, and he really doesn't see it because he only hears it from me. She NEVER does it in front of him she let the snowsuit thing go for a few weeks because I had him come to my defense, but she just picked it up again. My Cousin in law said it is useless arguing with her, she will never see it your way. But I am not going to dress him in a snowsuit everytime I leave the house only to take it off once we get to the car which is 5 ft away.
I also can't stand the "well I didn't sit in a car seat and I survived" mentality. Guess what, the children that didn't survive aren't fucking here to tell us about how they died in a car accident due to being improperly buckled. That shit drives me crazy. DH actually jokingly said that once when I was researching car seats and I lost it on him. He won't make that mistake again.
My BF is at DH. Yes he is an amazing guy with a sparkling personality but he was a complete douche canoe this morning. He, himself alone, misplaced a few hundred dollars that he was going to deposit before work. Can't find it, gets stressed, starts freaking out about the house being messy (kitchen was a bit cluttered but nothing crazy) and getting upset about everything BUT him being an idiot for losing the money. Honestly that all good and fine I know how that can be stressful, but he YELLED at our 1 year old. He was following him around and kept getting in his way as he was running around so he yelled and told him to move, it wasn't a more than "move, get away from me" but it was angry, I don't think we have ever yelled in anger (frustration and firmness yes) at the babies. My sweet little boy collapsed on the floor and started sobbing. I saw red in the worst way, I didn't say anything at the time, I located the money which was where he left it and got him out of the house.
He called and texted to apologize on his way to work and then had me FaceTime with the babies (which he has never done) so he could talk to them. I may have laid the mommy guilt on him thick but if you had seen how crushed my baby was you'd have done the same
I was scrolling, literally about to post...
' I'm just going to leave it at this--> My MIL is making me crazy!!!'
And sorry you all had a rough morning. I will say it was awesome of him to call and apologize and to facetime with the LO's (even if you guilted him in to it). Hope the rest of your day is better!
Married: 6/2016
TTC:6/2016
BFP: 11/22/2016 | EDD: 7/29/2017
DH doesn't have a temper at all (though he can be a grump) and usually lets the kids get away with murder so this was out of character and once we found the money he did a 180 - frankly I am certain he was pissed at himself and it was being transferred. And I will say I didn't guilt him into the call itself, he had texted to apologize to me for being said douche canoe and asked if I'd forgive him. I was still pissed so all I said is "its not my feelings that got hurt" he texted back to FaceTime with Davey.
He adores his dad to almost hero worship and the kid will jump off a couch and barely flinch but his dad yelling at him when all he was doing was following him around crushed him. I still grit my teeth thinking about it. And I know I am not perfect and once he talked to the babies I wasn't mad at DH anymore but the memory still riles me up a bit.
Sorry if it's huge! Mobil bumping