I Don't Want an Epidural THIS Time

MrsCaliRN

I had planned a home birth with DS, but due to gestational HTN, I was dropped by my midwife and had to be delivered by an OB in hospital. Pressures from the medical staff (guess they got tired of my moaning and screaming), my mom (always worried about everything) and my sister (got tired of waiting for her nephew to be born) pushed me to get one placed when I felt I could of kept going without. Fortunately, I had no complications once it was placed, but I never saw an epidural as a part of my birth plan and always have a tinge of regret that things didn't go the way I had planned.

Any STM+ have a similar experience? Are you hoping to forego an epidural with your upcoming birth? Any VBAC mommas hoping to go epidural-free? What are you doing differently to prevent one being placed this time?

ETA: **disclaimer: This discussion post is not meant as judgement on anyone's birth plan/experience.

allywat

I made the decision to have an epidural and don't regret it but it did make pushing incredibly hard and prolonged my labor by hours. I haven't decided yet one way or another but I am much more open to not having an epidural this time. Also looking to hear others experience in this department. 

hmhierholzer

I had one with DD and am really hoping to not get one this time around. I was induced with pitocin, so my contractions were extremely intense compared to what they were before it. This time around I am planning to push back against the pitocin and go as long as possible before I even consider an epidural. Hoping I can tolerate the pain!

shmarpler

I wanted a water birth. In my town, that means you have to also have a home birth. Due to circumstances beyond my control (as childbirth often proves) we had to make a non emergent transfer to the hospital. I wasn't able to even labor in water there, and one of the nurses kept yelling at me to push even when I wasn't contacting. They also wouldn't let me use a birth stool. Oh, and they cut her cord before she was even out. That made me so mad. This time, I'm considered high risk due to a separating placenta, so I'll have to deliver in the hospital again. DH is under strict orders to kick out any crazy nurses, or doctors. I actually liked the midwife. She used counter pressure and pickier oil to reduce tearing, and I only had one small spot that wasn't bad enough to stitch. All in all, my first delivery wasn't the worst, but it could have been better.

awoodruff27

I had an epidural with my first, not with my second. I'm honestly undecided on what I want to do this time around. Neither birth was exactly what I thought it would be. My first labor was 12 hours, my second was 10. Contractions aren't the problem for me, pushing is... Not sure I want to go through that pain again haha. 

MrsCaliRN

@hmhierholzer I totally agree that the intensity of most pitocin-induced contractions are intolerable without meds! 

@awoodruff27 Did you decide beforehand with DD2 that you didn't want an epidural? Did labor progress differently with DD2 vs DD1? Just curious to know how you did it, especially when you had an idea of the pain with DD1 but still powered through!

awoodruff27

@MrsCaliRN I went into labor with my second admittedly against the epidural. Both labors were the same in that I get to 7 cm easily, my body just doesn't like going past that. My first it took me almost 6 hours to get from 7 to a 10. My second I pushed at a 7.. not by choice my body literally started pushing on its own. I only pushed for 25 min the first time, 20 min the second. 

MotherofDragons

I had an epidural that failed. Never got one moment of relief l from it. The sorest part of my body after delivery was the spot I had the epidural. I was PISSED. Even more pissed when we got the bill and had to pay for said epidural that failed. 

I'm not getting one this time. I know I am capable of doing it without. And I had pitocin. 

My husband is on board and was actually fantastic when it came down to helping me labor. 

hjphillips

I had an epidural and I hated it. I didn't want one, but had been pressured into being induced by my OB at the time, and I just felt I couldn't do it. It made me nauseated, and completely numbed me from the waist down. I couldn't feel a thing that was going on, couldn't really move, and that made me feel incredibly claustrophobic, which in turn caused me to have panic attacks in labor. 

I know that a second go around with an epidural may be different, but the anxiety I felt in labor translated to DD and made it incredibly hard to bond with her. Every time I looked at her I just panicked. 

This time I have a different doctor, and am no longer a naive 19 year old who doesn't know how to advocate for herself. I won't beat myself up if I feel I need an epidural this go around, but I feel very strongly against it for myself personally. 

silliegirlie143

I had the epidural with DD. This time I'm planning on a home birth so if that goes as planned, there will not be any pain meds involved.

I have nerve damage in my back from an old car accident and in my ankle from a VERY bad break. With the epidural (even though it had worn off) my Doc insisted that I pushed on my back, braced against my ankle. This is an awful position for pushing as well as an awful position for someone with a bad back if you want effective pushing. I should have been on all fours or in the water to push...
going without an apidural will help make one or both of those scenarios happen.

mechanicwife

I had one with my DD because I had my water broken, and labor came on so quickly that my mind didn't have time to adjust to what my body was doing. It made me INCREDIBLY nauseated, among other complications. I will be doing absolutely everything in my power to avoid one this time.  

Stankonia2014

I've actually had great experiences with my epidurals, however, I'd really like to see if I can birth without one this time. 

swanbrooner

I'm a FTM, but I'm going in with an open mind. I would like to see what I can do on my own, but I won't feel like a failure if I have to get an epidural. 

On the other hand, one of the anesthesiologists at my hospital had an affair with my Mom, so maybe l'll wait to see if he is the one on call before making my decision. Ha! 

sevenn

For those of you planning med free birth- are you planning any classes or strategies? I am FTM but know that the only way I will be able to attempt med-free is if I have other strategies for managing the pain. There seem to be a lot of options. I'm not really a class person (and I know all the other ins and outs of L&D other than having personally experienced the pain of labor and birth) so Id love books or DVDs

huskermom14

I had an epidural with DS but I had been on pitocin for 11 hrs by the time my water broke and I could feel the contractions and was stuck in one long contraction. I'm not opposed to an epidural again, but if I go into labor on my own I'd really like to try to go without. 

My experience with the epidural was pretty great, though. It was perfect. I could move my legs still and feel the pressure from the contractions so I knew when to push, but I didn't feel any pain. It was lovely. 

awoodruff27

@sevenn I've always done hypno babies. They have a home study course that I do. It helps me relax. 

MrsCaliRN

@swanbrooner You've GOT to be joking! Oh the drama!

@sevenn I've heard great things about hypnobabies as @awoodruff27 mentioned, but I know you have to be pretty dedicated to it and practice so you'll be ready to go when labor happens. I've also heard of the Bradley Method, which I sort of did with DS, since DH was my main source of support, advocacy and focus for the majority of labor. Also, these aren't "techniques" per se, but being familiar with the use of counterpressure, breathing, visualizing, and water or heat are great tools to have in your back pocket. Whatever you can do to make it through each contraction is worth it!

swanbrooner

@MrsCaliRN She was an LDRP nurse there. Very scandalous. Sort of like Grey's Anatomy, with older, less attractive people.

JessyKV

I had a scheduled c section for breech with my first and did not like the feeling or recovery of the spinal.  Plus I had wanted a med free birth with my first originally.  So with my second I went in not wanting to get one but keeping an open mind.  I had pitocin for a couple hours but was able to make it to push time without questioning my decision and by then I was joking that it was too late anyway so I guess I was really doing this without pain meds! I only pushed for 27 min and he was here.  Honestly the contractions were a worse pain for me than pushing . Pushing was hair hard for me to wrap my head around and do correctly so I can imagine if I had an epidural it might have been really hard for me to figure out.  

This time I plan to go without an epidural again.  I really hope I can avoid pitocin too.  But will keep an open mind.  

I read ina May's guide to childbirth and the Bradley method book but really didn't prepare other than that.  

mirdamae03

I had a great epi with my first and a shit one with my second. It only took on half of my body and had to have it replaced so I only got 30 minutes reprieve. If I don't have to deal with pitocin this time I may try to skip it if it seems to be going well and fast. If I have pitocin I am way more likely to request it. That shiz hurts!

shmarpler

MrsCaliRN said:

@swanbrooner You've GOT to be joking! Oh the drama!

@sevenn I've heard great things about hypnobabies as @awoodruff27 mentioned, but I know you have to be pretty dedicated to it and practice so you'll be ready to go when labor happens. I've also heard of the Bradley Method, which I sort of did with DS, since DH was my main source of support, advocacy and focus for the majority of labor. Also, these aren't "techniques" per se, but being familiar with the use of counterpressure, breathing, visualizing, and water or heat are great tools to have in your back pocket. Whatever you can do to make it through each contraction is worth it!

This helped me a ton with my back labor. I got IV pain meds somewhere around hour 30. If any of you are on the fence about an epi, IV meds might be a good alternative. I had to have help walking to and from the bathroom, but it wasn't bad. Of course, it also did not block ALL of the pain either, soo...

mrt

If it's going fast, I may skip it, as it stopped working for my second, but with both my labors I sort of stalled until I got the epidural. It allowed my body to relax and dilate faster, I guess. We shall see.

FSUNole31

I had one with each of mine and they weren't terrible experiences.  I am going in with an open mind this time and if I can do it without great, but if I need one again that's ok too.

keniialise

My first two births I had failed epidurals, the third I didn't even try it. All in all the pain was the same, the recovery afterwards is what really made the difference for me. No spinal headache, being allowed to get out of the bed right away & no pain in my back.

 I do however have a opinion (maybe uo) that if women had more support from their healthcare providers and family/friends, there would be less epidurals given each day. I almost feel like we've been tricked by medical professional saying we can't, or shouldn't even try to go without. Like I said though, I myself tried it twice, I in no way feel like a epidural is a cop out! I just wish women had more support! 

virginiaunicorn11

I've always heard that hiring a doula is the most effective way to avoid an epidural if you really don't want one. 

I wanted to try not getting one last time. I got one, am glad I did. But this time I am hiring an attending Midwife to increase my chances of being able to avoid an epidural.

@MrsCaliRN sounds like your mother and sister were part of the reason you got one. Will they be in the delivery room with you again this time?

ladylolly89

I didn't want an epidural last time (mostly because I just wanted to know what it was like) and was able to go without - pitocin and all. To be honest though, I didn't really think it hurt. It was exhausting and extremely uncomfortable, of course, but not painful per se. 
But I owe a large part of that to DH and what we knew of the Bradley method. We had read the Bradley book together and had taken a (non-Bradley) class together, and he knew best how to keep me calm and relaxed. I barely had to do anything but deliver the baby - he talked to the doctor and nurses for me and helped me do what I needed to do when it was time to do it.
 I absolutely agree with @keniialise that more support is necessary. My hospital is against epidurals as a general rule, but still told me that almost 90% of women at the hospital end up getting them. Even though they try to discourage epidurals, they were almost surprised when I told them that I didn't want one and to not even offer. "Well, you can always change your mind...".
Sure, I knew I could change my mind, but what about helping us realize just how possible it is? 

abmommy15

I go back and forth on this.  With my first I wanted to try without an epidural but pitocin induced contractions are a special kind of hell and there was no chance I was getting through it without an epi.  I was fortunate and had a great epidural experience with zero side effects.  This time around I'm conflicted between wanting to experience a med-free birth and the memories of a pretty great and mostly relaxing experience.  

JAGinMI

@keniialise I couldn't agree more. There is not enough support for laboring women.

I went into my first with the attitude of "I would like to go without but I'm open to it if I end up wanting it". I did pretty much zero prep for labor other than reading birth stories and watching A Baby Story. I went in at 3cm with contractions 3 minutes apart. After about 5-6 hours I had progressed to a 5 and the nurse came in and told me that if I was going to want an epi any time soon to ask now because they were going into a csection and could be unavailable for up to a few hours. I remember thinking that I was ok and didn't need it yet but it totally freaked me out to think about the "what if" and hearing I might have no options if I suddenly started having a really hard time made me go for it. It wasn't a bad experience other than I absolutely hated getting it inserted and if I were prone to panic attacks I am certain I would have had one. Once it was in I had pain relief for a but then I spent hours still soooooo uncomfortable from the pressure. The pressure was something I had no idea to expect. But I really didn't experience any pain once I had the epi. I labored for 16 hours in total and I think I pushed for like an hour. All in all, I couldn't say I regretted getting it.

The second time around I was much more into an intervention-free labor for some crunchy reasons but also because I just really didn't want to go through the insertion of the epi again and I really wanted a shorter labor. So I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and I learned pain management techniques without taking any classes and talked to so many who did it. I felt extremely empowered going into labor. I knew my body was made to do this and my mind was the largest factor in whether or not I could accomplish it. It went very differently this time - from the first contraction to birth was 5 hours. I wasn't even sure it was the real deal for the first 2 hours! So by the time we got to the hospital I was already at a 7 and it was moving quickly. Honestly, at no point did I ever have that "I need drugs" moment and I have to say I totally expected to have that moment. The worst part was the "ring of fire" and that lasted what seemed like 2 minutes. I always tell people that I thank God I was planning to go med-free because there was no time for it anyway!

I would take my second labor and delivery a million times over the 2nd one! I pray every day this one goes very similarly. And now that I know that I can do it, it would take some seriously extenuating circumstances for me to get an epi again.

MotherofDragons

Interesting timing but on our way home from dinner tonight my husband asked me when I was going to start my birth hypnosis CDs. 

I truly made it through without murdering someone because my husband was a stellar labor coach. Support is so important, like @keniialise said. I've made my wishes known and my OBs have been supportive and sort of cheering me on. I appreciate that so much. 

Moore2love2014

I planned my entire pregnancy I would not have an epidural. I am a big baby when it come to needles so knowing how massive the needle is they would be stuck in my back was not okay. However I was in labor for 32 hours, and 24 hours of that I wasn't dilating. My contractions were to a min apart for about 3 hours before I finally decided I couldn't take the pain anymore and I caved in and got one. People told me it didn't hurt and I wouldn't feel a thing! That was not the case for me. I felt everything! From him sticking the needle in and the shot before hand. It may have just been pressure more then anything, but my contractions where seriously so close together it hurt like hell! I am so for epidural, but I am deciding to try again without this time around, in hopes that I dilate...

awillis13

I didn't want one last time, but my ex was not the most helpful birthing coach and after my water broke was almost pushing me to get it.  My birth experience with it wasn't terrible, but the spinal headache I got after they removed the needle was excruciating, and lasted almost 4 days.  I think it seriously negatively impacted my bonding with DS the first few days, because it was like the worst migraine of my life, I couldn't sit up without feeling like my head was going to explode, and every little baby wimper and cry was like stabbing a knife through my head.  That is motivation enough to find any possible way to avoid getting the epi again.

kns1988

FTM lurking from May

shmarpler, do you know what kind of meds they give you in the IV? Is it anything mind altering? I plan to ask my doctor about it on Tuesday. I'm considering the no epi route, but I also don't take any type of drugs stronger than Ibuprofen (for sobriety reasons, not crunchy reasons). 

halfthetree

I had an epidural with my first. I was planning a natural intervention free birth, but the hospital staff really got to me with their "you wouldn't have teeth pulled without medication", I had no one suggesting positions or reminding me of things (hubs was just so scared), and the cascade of interventions hit us hard. I also had my mom and sister there, who were honestly quite anxious and encouraged me to get the epidural. I also was not a fan of being given fentanyl without my consent, leading to me being groggy, and my son being born sleepy and not wanting to nurse.

My second birth was a planned homebirth with two midwives. I again had my mom and sister there, but by this point I had been studying birth way more than I ever did with my first. I was very confident in my body's abilities, and made sure to tell my mom and sisters that if they were anxious or making me lose focus. They would get the boot. It's not a spectator event, they were either there to legitimately help me or they could wait for the call. It was by far easier, less scary and and quicker recovery the second time around.

This will be my third, and we are planning a twin homebirth. If we end up needing to birth at the hospital, they will definitely want to place an epidural as a precaution (they want you on your back in the OR ready for the cut), but we will definitely be declining. 

MrsCaliRN

@virginiaunicorn11 I know my mom will want to be there. I really need to tell my sister about how hurtful it was to hear comments like, "How long is this going to take? I'm hungry" and "She's been in labor for a long time, it's getting late!" really hurt my feelings and made things tougher. Although she tells everyone who asks that watching her nephew being born was the most amazing experience of her life I had a decent number of people in the room when in labor with DS: DH, my mom, my sister, my BIL, the birth photographer (who used to be an RN) and one of my good friends was there and BIL left when I gave birth. My friend was really supportive but her energy was kind of too much, and my mom's worry and fear was really getting to me, too. I really do want people who love me to be there to witness my baby's birth, but I think it should just be DH for the labor part. Perhaps I can put it in my birth plan to have the L&D nurse go grab my family when I'm ready to push.

shmarpler

@kns1988 I don't know what they gave me, but you can probably check with your provider. They will likely know what your hospital will administer, and may be able to give you options if you need to avoid specific medications.  I know I was a bit groggy, but I hadn't slept for two nights, so I'm sure it was a combination of the two.

virginiaunicorn11

Wow. To each her own. That's way too much for me! Reads like a movie scene.

mamaelle27

It's so interesting how many different perspectives there are here. FWIW, I loved my epidural. I had no complications and in easing the pain, it also eased my anxiety. I'm claustrophobic but didn't have any issues with that. I hope to have one for this baby too.

sls

I didn't want to have an epidural. After spending 2.5 days being induced with no real communication from the nurses beyond, "You're only dilated to 3 cm," I was defeated and exhausted. I ended up getting one; it happened as I was going through transition, which no one noticed and I only realized in retrospect. She was born 45 minutes later, which was right after the doctor said it would be another 5-6 hours of pushing.

I'm less concerned this time about an epidural--although I will try to avoid it--and more concerned about making sure I keep my midwife. The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get at the hospital staff for giving 0 support and seeming utterly clueless about the birthing process.

Another anecdote: right after the epidural, I could feel her coming out. It literally felt like a head coming out of my uterus--I get that I was a FTM, but I had no other way to describe it. I said, "She's coming out. I feel like I need to push " The nurse replied, "Does it feel like you need to poop?" I was like, "NO, IT FEELS LIKE A BABY HEAD IS COMING THROUGH MY VAGINA." Lady, don't you know where your anus is??

shmarpler

sls said:

I didn't want to have an epidural. After spending 2.5 days being induced with no real communication from the nurses beyond, "You're only dilated to 3 cm," I was defeated and exhausted. I ended up getting one; it happened as I was going through transition, which no one noticed and I only realized in retrospect. She was born 45 minutes later, which was right after the doctor said it would be another 5-6 hours of pushing.

I'm less concerned this time about an epidural--although I will try to avoid it--and more concerned about making sure I keep my midwife. The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get at the hospital staff for giving 0 support and seeming utterly clueless about the birthing process.

Another anecdote: right after the epidural, I could feel her coming out. It literally felt like a head coming out of my uterus--I get that I was a FTM, but I had no other way to describe it. I said, "She's coming out. I feel like I need to push " The nurse replied, "Does it feel like you need to poop?" I was like, "NO, IT FEELS LIKE A BABY HEAD IS COMING THROUGH MY VAGINA." Lady, don't you know where your anus is??

I felt my baby twist. She was coming down sunny side up, but right before her head came out, she did a half twist. Then when her head was all of the way out, I felt her do the normal half twist. It didn't feel like a poo at all.

CurlyMommy416

I do think it depends on the hospital/staff as to how supportive they are epidural vs none.  I didn't have enough time to get one with my first, and since I knew I could do it, when I was induced with my second (because of my history of fast labor and being more than 30 minutes from the hospital) I told them I didn't want one.  I had no less than 5 nurses say "ARE YOU SURE, I CAN CALL FOR ONE FOR YOU." Yup, I'm sure, thank you though.

Mtnmommy

mamaelle27 said:

It's so interesting how many different perspectives there are here. FWIW, I loved my epidural. I had no complications and in easing the pain, it also eased my anxiety. I'm claustrophobic but didn't have any issues with that. I hope to have one for this baby too.

I feel the same. Lots of respect to those who don't want it, or want to try it without pain medication.