Hey ladies, I am 24 so pretty young based on the spreadsheet (I think I only saw one person younger than me). Trying to determine which prenatal testing we do. My office offers NTS and NIPT, along with Cystic Fibrosis screening for me. I think I could go elsewhere to get sequential scans done if I wanted to (I know there's a few that I got flyers for, can't remember the names). Just wondering which ones you ladies are doing, if any, if you're low risk? I'm so confused on all of it!
I'm probably the only one younger than you! I'm 22, pregnant with my 3rd. My little brother has Down Syndrome but I still opt out of genetic testing. I really have no problem if people want to do it. I just feel like its not completely accurate. Lots of people get false positives for something being wrong. And usually at the 20 weeks ultrasound, they can tell you if something is wrong with baby such as holes in heart (which is super common for babies with Down Syndrome). Obviously I care about my baby but I couldn't care less about this test.
Bobby Llewellyn born September 29, 2012 Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015 MC in February 2017 MC in November 2017 Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
@asun123 you didn't do any testing for all 3 babies? My husband claims he could not parent a child with down syndrome but by the time you are very sure your baby has it, you are 20 weeks along as in my mind that's way too late to do anything but mentally prepare.
@budzynb I'm 26 (27 in May) and just got the Harmony blood test done last week. No history of genetic disorders in our families, so it's more for our peace of mind. Even if we get high risk results, that wouldn't change anything for us. But I understand every couple is different. We also did the Counsyl family prep screen before TTC which tests if you're a carrier of certain things like cystic fibrosis, etc..
@budzynb I'm sorry your husband feels that way. My little brother was the biggest blessing to our family. I understand that people who have never been educated about or been around people with disabilities might be nervous and want to be prepared. But for myself, any doctor telling me that something might be different with my child, wouldn't change anything in my mind that would make me think anything less of my child.
Bobby Llewellyn born September 29, 2012 Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015 MC in February 2017 MC in November 2017 Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
I didn't do any testing with my first and won't with this one either. But it's totally a personal choice. I'm a firm believer that the universe only gives you what you can handle.
As for your situation, I say go for it if you are that concerned about a genetic disorder. I hope your husband understands that not every down syndrome child is severly disabled. Many function normally. What would he do if your child passed all the testing yet had some thing cognitively wrong that doesn't show up until a year or two after the baby is born? You wouldn't love your baby any less! There's lots of different scenarios and you just hope you're doing the best for your baby.
@asun123 you didn't do any testing for all 3 babies? My husband claims he could not parent a child with down syndrome but by the time you are very sure your baby has it, you are 20 weeks along as in my mind that's way too late to do anything but mentally prepare.
I didn't read the last part until just now. I would never think of doing anything but mentally preparing. So, I guess 20 weeks is just fine for me.
Bobby Llewellyn born September 29, 2012 Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015 MC in February 2017 MC in November 2017 Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
I'm not a young lady, but had this pregnancy happened a decade ago when I was- I still would get all the covered available screenings done. Information is a powerful tool when it comes to health, and I want to make sure I can prepare for as long as possible both mentally and medically should the need be there.
It's a very personal choice to go through this testing because sometimes the more you look, the more you find. Talk it through with your husband and Doctor to find your comfort level.
Good luck!
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
Hey y'all, I'm 23, expecting my first! I honestly have not talked to my doctor about testing yet and I also have no idea of what tests need to be done, i wish i had got a flyer with all of that. Hopefully on my second visit. My first visit was more to make sure i am in fact pregnant.
I plan to have every non invasive test done. Not to change my mind about my baby if there is in fact something wrong with him/her but to prepare mentally, emotionally and begin learning about everything that can be done to better sooth and raise my angel! I dont think anyone is ready for baby that is special, dont take your hubby's words by heart he is probably just frightened by the idea of all difficulties that a special baby brings! Sometimes it is easy to forget that that dame baby will bring plenty of smiles and that s/he qont be in the hospital all day everyday as many may assume.
We opted out of all testing for our first and also for this LO. It's all covered by the a/s at 20 weeks. If something were to come up on the a/s or any other tests, we personally would raise that child. I agree 100% with @asun123. @budzynb I agree with others that you should discuss this with your husband and make the decision that's right for you.
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
I'm 21 and probably the youngest here my husband and I decided to get some testing done just because we want to be as prepared as possible for the future. I'm getting the cystic fibrosis test and NT scan. I'm kind of doing the NT scan because it involves an ultrasound and I like seeing our little Baby O
I haven't decided on all of the testing but I know we would be doing cystic fibrosis because my doc said if we are both carriers and the baby has it, there's nothing we can do, other than abort which I personally couldn't do.
Genetic testing is a really hard choice to make, which I wasn't expecting!
I'm 23 and pregnant with my second I will be 24 whenever the new baby comes. With my first we had the Progenity (I believe the name has changed now) test done, but we honestly only did it because it was $25 and we wanted to know the sex early. It really wouldn't have changed anything for us if the tests came back and indicated something. With this pregnancy I would love to do it again, but cost is a factor. Waiting for my first appointment to talk with my CMN about our options. I would just have an honest conversation with your Dr., and let them advise you. My motivation has always been knowing the sex though, so I might be the wrong one to ask!
I'm 26 and not doing any of the early testing. We will wait until the anatomy ultrasound to see if anything comes up! It wouldn't change anything for us except to mentally prepare.
I want the testing, my husband was less for it. But he is the healthiest person I know, so those things don't always concern him much. I was born with a heart condition, luckily it has minimal impact, just antibiotic precautions with things. However my parents weren't prepared for everything that happened when I was born with tests and everything. Add in being a super premie and it was a lot of stress. For me, knowing just allows me to better prepare, might change the pediatrician I choose or daycare, I can look for therapists early if needed. I have worked with special needs kids and they are amazing but it can be super overwhelming. If I can know and plan a bit then I feel like I can better focus on my baby when it comes and not be as overwhelmed with decisions I wasn't ready to make. I know I could end up in that situation anyway, but I still want to know what I can.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
I'm 26, FTM. My doctor didn't offer any prenatal screens because I'm not "high risk" for anything. I'm not even getting a 12-week ultrasound. If I requested it, I could get a referral for one, but I'd have to fly off my island town to a big city just to have the NTS, and I work 7 days a week so that's not realistic. 11 more weeks until my next (and last) ultrasound, unless something goes obviously wrong. I guess I should be relieved that my doc isn't worried at all about me, but from all the books and message boards I was expecting more tests to be standard for everyone.
@bumpybump do you mean u/s? I don't know what a/s is. Anatomy scan? Sorry, lightbulb I think lol
@jessicer I totally agree with the CF screening. We were going to do it but then DH said "even if you are a carrier, I am not going to divorce you and find someone who doesn't have that risk" there's nothing you can do about that, but a baby with severe chromosomal issues is avoidable on the next pregnancy. But you are so right, who would have thought this would be so difficult?!?!
I have decided I don't want to do any testing but DH still is interested. I told him he can call the office and decide whether NTS or NIPT is right for us and he can call insurance to find out costs. I will have my blood draw but that's all the work I am doing. I'm stressed enough about keeping food down right now that I don't need or want this on my plate too lol
@budzynb yes, a/s is the anatomy scan. It's not only to find out the sex. It's a very important unreasoning that does lots of measuring of the baby and looking for things that could be "wrong." For example, our DD had a spot on her brain that they found during the a/s. They rechecked it two weeks later and it went away. But then they found she wasn't as big as she "should" be so then she was watched for failure to thrive. She was fine in the end and was born at a healthy weight (7lbs, 3oz).
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
I opted for the first trimester screening for Fragile X, Cystic Fibrosis, and Spinal muscular atrophy. I did not with my first two, but caucasians have a 1 in 28 chance of getting CF and I figured if it turned out we were both carriers, then our chances were starting to become higher for that.
**TRIGGER WARNING- Termination mentioned**
both CF and SMA are terminal and horrifying, so if we ended up being carriers for those and the baby tested positive, I would have considered termination. I'm not scared of developmental delays or anything like that. But, I've seen the horrible deaths of CF sufferers and I just...couldn't allow my child to suffer like that.
Fortunately, everything turned out well and that's not a discussion.
Wife. Mom. Doula. Photographer. BFP #1- 12/26/2011- DS Born 9/7/12 BFP#2- 10/16/2014- DD Born 7/2/15 SURPRISE! BFP#3- 11/29/16- EDD 8/6/17
@Doulatog13 thanks for being open and honest about how you would react to positive test results. I've noticed on these boards most people are very conservative so it's nice to see you being so open about your options. I would do the same thing as you. Unfortunately $900 just for the CF screening for just ME isn't in our cards right now, so now we pray we are only given as much as we and the child can handle.
@DoulaTog13, i have seen many teenagers with CF. it is a chronic disease and they spent many days in hospitals - but many many thrive. It is not an easy road for sure, for the media survival is now much better than it used to be, with many living into 30s and 40s. I totally agree with you with regards to SMA (type 1), although some subtypes have normal life expectancy.
This is my 2nd and I will turn 29 before my due date. No testing. I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either. They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug. If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
@matteagabrielle ignorance is not bliss. If you're concerned enough to want to know the sex for planning purposes then you ought to be just as concerned about your babies health for planning purposes.
This is my 2nd and I will turn 29 before my due date. No testing. I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either. They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug. If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
*lurking from July*
Am I reading this right?? You don't need time to prepare for downs, but you need to prepare for the sex of the baby? what??
This is my 2nd and I will turn 29 before my due date. No testing. I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either. They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug. If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
Lurking from May. How is knowing what clothes to buy and knowing what color to paint the nursery more important than the health of your baby? I say this with all do respect and kindness. Please everyone young and old, FTM or STM+10. The NIPT tests are NOT TO FIND OUT THE SEX OF YOUR BABY. They are to find out the likelihood of a potential chromosomal abnormality. In fact the only reason they test for the sex chromosome is because there are certain conditions that are sex based. It is so disheartening every time I see someone post how they do the testing to find out the sex of their baby or comment that that's all they care about. Please remember that this is a very diverse community. There are several women on these boards that find out horrible news during these tests and seeing some one write how they only care about finding out the sex of the baby is such a slap in the face to them. To me @matteagabrielle if you're OK with the unknown then you should be OK with not finding out the sex of your baby using a test that cost $5000 to do. If you still feel the way you feel however, might I suggest not voicing that in this forum out of respect for the other women.
This is my 2nd and I will turn 29 before my due date. No testing. I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either. They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug. If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
Holy.... I took what she said in a totally different way! It's so rude for people to act like because she doesn't want to do any test, that she doesn't care about the health of her baby. No where does she say her babies health isn't important. She answered the question honestly. And I don't think she said she was going to do anything other then the 20 week scan to find out the babys gender. She actually said she would be having no testing so i assume she mean early testing. I think like alot of us she will wait until the 20 weeks to find out the gender, and i'm sure like the rest of us, if something comes up she will do what she needs to do to ensure the health of her baby.
People do find out horrible news through these test and thats heart breaking, and it gives them options. But other people don't want to know because it wouldn't matter to them. Respect that.
This is my 2nd and I will turn 29 before my due date. No testing. I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either. They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug. If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
Holy.... I took what she said in a totally different way! It's so rude for people to act like because she doesn't want to do any test, that she doesn't care about the health of her baby. No where does she say her babies health isn't important. She answered the question honestly. And I don't think she said she was going to do anything other then the 20 week scan to find out the babys gender. She actually said she would be having no testing so i assume she mean early testing. I think like alot of us she will wait until the 20 weeks to find out the gender, and i'm sure like the rest of us, if something comes up she will do what she needs to do to ensure the health of her baby.
People do find out horrible news through these test and thats heart breaking, and it gives them options. But other people don't want to know because it wouldn't matter to them. Respect that.
@kodariah I think what people (including me) are reacting to is that she's ok with unknown health problems (some of which could be monitored during pregnancy to minimize risk to herself and the baby), but needs to "prepare for the sex". I'm totally cool with people wanting to know the sex (I'm one of them), but saying that's more important than other info doesn't feel good.
This is my 2nd and I will turn 29 before my due date. No testing. I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either. They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug. If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
Holy.... I took what she said in a totally different way! It's so rude for people to act like because she doesn't want to do any test, that she doesn't care about the health of her baby. No where does she say her babies health isn't important. She answered the question honestly. And I don't think she said she was going to do anything other then the 20 week scan to find out the babys gender. She actually said she would be having no testing so i assume she mean early testing. I think like alot of us she will wait until the 20 weeks to find out the gender, and i'm sure like the rest of us, if something comes up she will do what she needs to do to ensure the health of her baby.
People do find out horrible news through these test and thats heart breaking, and it gives them options. But other people don't want to know because it wouldn't matter to them. Respect that.
Thanks for taking it the way I meant and helping an easily emotional pregnant women feel normal. I am sorry if anyone from this birth month took offense with me adding that I am not keeping the sex unknown. That was probably unnecessary information for this topic. It is something that easily comes with the required anatomy scan anyway and we aren't going out of out way to pay for it so I will happily take that news at 18-20 weeks.
Clarifying for OP, I am definitely not saying you or other people should not test or that it is wrong to prepare or anything of the sort. I was just giving my opinion as to I didn't feel the need to and won't early test again this time. If any measurement are off during the anatomy scan then by all means we are going to prepare and do whatever additional things we need too as caring and loving parents as well as learn if it's a boy a girl and enjoy the things that come with that.
This is my 2nd and I will turn 29 before my due date. No testing. I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either. They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug. If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
Holy.... I took what she said in a totally different way! It's so rude for people to act like because she doesn't want to do any test, that she doesn't care about the health of her baby. No where does she say her babies health isn't important. She answered the question honestly. And I don't think she said she was going to do anything other then the 20 week scan to find out the babys gender. She actually said she would be having no testing so i assume she mean early testing. I think like alot of us she will wait until the 20 weeks to find out the gender, and i'm sure like the rest of us, if something comes up she will do what she needs to do to ensure the health of her baby.
People do find out horrible news through these test and thats heart breaking, and it gives them options. But other people don't want to know because it wouldn't matter to them. Respect that.
Thanks for taking it the way I meant and helping an easily emotional pregnant women feel normal. I am sorry if anyone from this birth month took offense with me adding that I am not keeping the sex unknown. That was probably unnecessary information for this topic. It is something that easily comes with the required anatomy scan anyway and we aren't going out of out way to pay for it so I will happily take that news at 18-20 weeks.
Clarifying for OP, I am definitely not saying you or other people should not test or that it is wrong to prepare or anything of the sort. I was just giving my opinion as to I didn't feel the need to and won't early test again this time. If any measurement are off during the anatomy scan then by all means we are going to prepare and do whatever additional things we need too as caring and loving parents as well as learn if it's a boy a girl and enjoy the things that come with that.
MatteaGabrielle thanks for your opinion, girlie! I totally took what you said the right way and was not offended at all. These lurkers are throwing off our happy-friendly mojo over here...
i'm not sure where I fit in here... i definitely feel like a newbie as it is my first pregnancy, but i don't necessarily feel like a "young" FTM... I am 29 and we are doing nipt testing just for an earlier peace of mind and a more realistic grasp on planning, etc -- especially as we can potentially get our results before announcing
DH and I decided during our first pregnancy that we were not going to do any additional testing. My first OB kept repeating over and over that after a certain time we couldn't do this testing anymore which could affect whether or not we wanted to terminate the pregnancy. I wanted to punch him in the face every time he said it. In my most polite voice I informed him there would be no termination of any pregnancy and that we AGAIN did not wish to do the testing. Why are people getting offended by others choices? I know plenty of women who would, in fact, terminate the pregnancy if their testing came back saying there were chromosomal abnormalities. I have also heard of false positives and such. We decided that we were placing our child in God's hands and that if there was a definite situation to discuss at the anatomy scan, birth, or even after that we would move forward from there. I understand some people feel the need to prepare for these unforeseen situations and can respect anybody's choice to have the testing done. It's just not for everybody. It's not for us. Wishing you all happy healthy pregnancies. Everybody handles things differently. Let's stop accusing one another of not caring about our health/babies just because we would do something different.
ETA: *TW* I have a friend who found out her son had anencephaly at her A/S and carried him to term and gave birth knowing he may be stillborn, live for a few hours, days or months. She prayed for a miracle and kept trusting that God had a plan for her son and that he would ultimately heal him. Well, God gave her two whole days with her son who was labeled as "incompatible with life outside the womb" and those were the two most joyous days of her life. Yes she is still grieving and will be forever. She has two daughters now and often speaks of her son. He has touched so many lives and has truly enriched her and her family's connection and faith. You don't always understand someone else's position just by reading a small blurb they leave on a pregnancy forum. We come from many different walks of life. Let's respect each other and the decisions we feel are best for our children and our families.
@em1017 we are doing the same test. We found out that if we do the Cystic Fibrosis Trio scan through Progenity on the same day it will only be $99 OOP for both sets combined, so I am very happy to be finding out if I am a carrier for all future pregnancies. We are doing it for peace of mind as well, finding out the sex is a nice added bonus but we never let that play a factor in choosing between NTS and NIPT. It was all down to which is most accurate.
@middy411 I would be very frustrated if my doctor did that to me as well. We have been seeing midwives but are required to do a round of genetic counseling with one of the doctors before they draw my blood for the test. I am afraid he will pressure us to do even more testing but I am pretty firm about only doing non-invasive safe tests unless something comes back poorly. If I were told my baby was going to be born stillborn or have chromosomal abnormalities that would cause then to lose their life soon after being born, I think I would need to terminate as soon as I was told that. I couldn't imagine carrying to term to know that was going to happen. I'm glad your friend found peace in that moment though, and I think that's incredibly brave and strong of her to do.
I wanted to do the Harmony test but my insurance doesn't cover it. My mom's first baby had a lot of genetic abnormalities and died shortly after birth. While this is my third pregnancy, his death is weighing heavily on my mind as of late.
I would've done the Harmony testing just because it's non-invasive. If something were to come up as a higher than normal risk, I don't know if we would continue for more testing. That just depends on what the percentage was, or if something definite had risen.
I don't judge women who choose to terminate. I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation, but I would at least like to have the choice.
@Stellabella125 Have you checked with your insurance if they would cover Harmony if your doctor believes it to be medically necessary due to family history? My insurance will cover if my midwife prescribe it due to family history.
@budzynb - same. i had my blood drawn this week for my own carrier screening portion, and then am going back next week for the nipt blood draw. we felt most comfortable with doing all the non-invasive testing we can and then go from there. even before we got pregnant we talked about getting genetic testing for my husband and i just out of curiosity if we are recessive carriers of anything. good luck with your testing!!
Not young (though not quite "geriatric") but I am a FTM. Getting basically all the genetic testing because 1) family history of Fragile X on my side, and 2) SO is obsessed with getting as much info as possible. (But I think I can convince him to stay Team Green So carrier screening, u/s, NT blood draw - all the non-invasive are scheduled for week 13.
Anyway, what's the timeline on all this? I assume we get immediate feedback on the u/s but how long does it take to get blood work results?
eta: everything post emoji because apparently mobile tB hates emojis
Re: Young FTM - What prenatal testing are you doing?
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
As for your situation, I say go for it if you are that concerned about a genetic disorder. I hope your husband understands that not every down syndrome child is severly disabled. Many function normally. What would he do if your child passed all the testing yet had some thing cognitively wrong that doesn't show up until a year or two after the baby is born? You wouldn't love your baby any less! There's lots of different scenarios and you just hope you're doing the best for your baby.
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
It's a very personal choice to go through this testing because sometimes the more you look, the more you find. Talk it through with your husband and Doctor to find your comfort level.
Good luck!
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
I honestly have not talked to my doctor about testing yet and I also have no idea of what tests need to be done, i wish i had got a flyer with all of that. Hopefully on my second visit. My first visit was more to make sure i am in fact pregnant.
I plan to have every non invasive test done. Not to change my mind about my baby if there is in fact something wrong with him/her but to prepare mentally, emotionally and begin learning about everything that can be done to better sooth and raise my angel!
I dont think anyone is ready for baby that is special, dont take your hubby's words by heart he is probably just frightened by the idea of all difficulties that a special baby brings! Sometimes it is easy to forget that that dame baby will bring plenty of smiles and that s/he qont be in the hospital all day everyday as many may assume.
But hey i am a young first mom from brazil/texas.
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
Genetic testing is a really hard choice to make, which I wasn't expecting!
I would just have an honest conversation with your Dr., and let them advise you. My motivation has always been knowing the sex though, so I might be the wrong one to ask!
For me, knowing just allows me to better prepare, might change the pediatrician I choose or daycare, I can look for therapists early if needed. I have worked with special needs kids and they are amazing but it can be super overwhelming. If I can know and plan a bit then I feel like I can better focus on my baby when it comes and not be as overwhelmed with decisions I wasn't ready to make. I know I could end up in that situation anyway, but I still want to know what I can.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
11 more weeks until my next (and last) ultrasound, unless something goes obviously wrong. I guess I should be relieved that my doc isn't worried at all about me, but from all the books and message boards I was expecting more tests to be standard for everyone.
@bumpybump do you mean u/s? I don't know what a/s is. Anatomy scan? Sorry, lightbulb I think lol
@jessicer I totally agree with the CF screening. We were going to do it but then DH said "even if you are a carrier, I am not going to divorce you and find someone who doesn't have that risk" there's nothing you can do about that, but a baby with severe chromosomal issues is avoidable on the next pregnancy. But you are so right, who would have thought this would be so difficult?!?!
I have decided I don't want to do any testing but DH still is interested. I told him he can call the office and decide whether NTS or NIPT is right for us and he can call insurance to find out costs. I will have my blood draw but that's all the work I am doing. I'm stressed enough about keeping food down right now that I don't need or want this on my plate too lol
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
**TRIGGER WARNING- Termination mentioned**
both CF and SMA are terminal and horrifying, so if we ended up being carriers for those and the baby tested positive, I would have considered termination. I'm not scared of developmental delays or anything like that. But, I've seen the horrible deaths of CF sufferers and I just...couldn't allow my child to suffer like that.
Fortunately, everything turned out well and that's not a discussion.
Wife. Mom. Doula. Photographer.
BFP #1- 12/26/2011- DS Born 9/7/12
BFP#2- 10/16/2014- DD Born 7/2/15
SURPRISE! BFP#3- 11/29/16- EDD 8/6/17
@Doulatog13 thanks for being open and honest about how you would react to positive test results. I've noticed on these boards most people are very conservative so it's nice to see you being so open about your options. I would do the same thing as you. Unfortunately $900 just for the CF screening for just ME isn't in our cards right now, so now we pray we are only given as much as we and the child can handle.
I was 25 when I gave birth to my 1st. Opted for no testing either.
They way we viewed it was that we would not have terminated so instead of enjoying my pregnancy I'd be researching and worrying the entire time which probably wouldn't help the little bug.
If my first child was born with something or we knew we were carriers for something, my mind might change, but for now we are okay with the unknown. Except for sex. I want to prepare for that.
Am I reading this right?? You don't need time to prepare for downs, but you need to prepare for the sex of the baby? what??
Lurking from May. How is knowing what clothes to buy and knowing what color to paint the nursery more important than the health of your baby? I say this with all do respect and kindness. Please everyone young and old, FTM or STM+10. The NIPT tests are NOT TO FIND OUT THE SEX OF YOUR BABY. They are to find out the likelihood of a potential chromosomal abnormality. In fact the only reason they test for the sex chromosome is because there are certain conditions that are sex based. It is so disheartening every time I see someone post how they do the testing to find out the sex of their baby or comment that that's all they care about. Please remember that this is a very diverse community. There are several women on these boards that find out horrible news during these tests and seeing some one write how they only care about finding out the sex of the baby is such a slap in the face to them. To me @matteagabrielle if you're OK with the unknown then you should be OK with not finding out the sex of your baby using a test that cost $5000 to do. If you still feel the way you feel however, might I suggest not voicing that in this forum out of respect for the other women.
Holy....
I took what she said in a totally different way! It's so rude for people to act like because she doesn't want to do any test, that she doesn't care about the health of her baby. No where does she say her babies health isn't important. She answered the question honestly. And I don't think she said she was going to do anything other then the 20 week scan to find out the babys gender. She actually said she would be having no testing so i assume she mean early testing. I think like alot of us she will wait until the 20 weeks to find out the gender, and i'm sure like the rest of us, if something comes up she will do what she needs to do to ensure the health of her baby.
People do find out horrible news through these test and thats heart breaking, and it gives them options. But other people don't want to know because it wouldn't matter to them. Respect that.
June lurker returning to her happy corner now....
BFP #1 6/13 DD 3/14
Mirena 10/14-5/16
BFP #2 9/2/16, CP confirmed 9/8/16
BFP #3 10/10/16 EDD 6/22/17
Clarifying for OP, I am definitely not saying you or other people should not test or that it is wrong to prepare or anything of the sort. I was just giving my opinion as to I didn't feel the need to and won't early test again this time. If any measurement are off during the anatomy scan then by all means we are going to prepare and do whatever additional things we need too as caring and loving parents as well as learn if it's a boy a girl and enjoy the things that come with that.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
ETA: *TW*
I have a friend who found out her son had anencephaly at her A/S and carried him to term and gave birth knowing he may be stillborn, live for a few hours, days or months. She prayed for a miracle and kept trusting that God had a plan for her son and that he would ultimately heal him. Well, God gave her two whole days with her son who was labeled as "incompatible with life outside the womb" and those were the two most joyous days of her life. Yes she is still grieving and will be forever. She has two daughters now and often speaks of her son. He has touched so many lives and has truly enriched her and her family's connection and faith. You don't always understand someone else's position just by reading a small blurb they leave on a pregnancy forum. We come from many different walks of life. Let's respect each other and the decisions we feel are best for our children and our families.
@em1017 we are doing the same test. We found out that if we do the Cystic Fibrosis Trio scan through Progenity on the same day it will only be $99 OOP for both sets combined, so I am very happy to be finding out if I am a carrier for all future pregnancies. We are doing it for peace of mind as well, finding out the sex is a nice added bonus but we never let that play a factor in choosing between NTS and NIPT. It was all down to which is most accurate.
@middy411 I would be very frustrated if my doctor did that to me as well. We have been seeing midwives but are required to do a round of genetic counseling with one of the doctors before they draw my blood for the test. I am afraid he will pressure us to do even more testing but I am pretty firm about only doing non-invasive safe tests unless something comes back poorly. If I were told my baby was going to be born stillborn or have chromosomal abnormalities that would cause then to lose their life soon after being born, I think I would need to terminate as soon as I was told that. I couldn't imagine carrying to term to know that was going to happen. I'm glad your friend found peace in that moment though, and I think that's incredibly brave and strong of her to do.
I would've done the Harmony testing just because it's non-invasive. If something were to come up as a higher than normal risk, I don't know if we would continue for more testing. That just depends on what the percentage was, or if something definite had risen.
I don't judge women who choose to terminate. I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation, but I would at least like to have the choice.
Edit because writing is hard.
Anyway, what's the timeline on all this? I assume we get immediate feedback on the u/s but how long does it take to get blood work results?
eta: everything post emoji because apparently mobile tB hates emojis