I HATE participation awards and the "everyone wins" mentality floating around in schools systems, sports teams and other extracurricular for kids. i feel for the poor teachers and coaches stuck dealing with parents whining in their faces all day long about why little Johnny didn't get something that little Ben did. If my kid is not listening and being a little asshat, don't give my kid a prize intended to reward peers for listening to a teacher. I don't want my kid walking home with a medal for losing a competition or just showing up. Don't let my kid make the team if he/she isn't good enough. I learned the most in life by failing, not making the cut and losing. It made me understand that short-term failure is part of long-term success. It made me humble. It made me expect nothing from the world. It taught me to persevere and work harder for what I want. I want my kids to experience failure and learn that not everyone gets a prize and that is OK. They will not die if they fail. They will learn more from a mistake than anything else. I feel that will make them stronger and better prepared for the real world. Sorry if that makes me a jerk. So many of my peers feel this is a UO and feel their kid "deserves" something for simply existing and wanting, but I disagree.
I am going reverse of one found over in July. I don't understand the women who wear tons of makeup and won't leave the house without it. My mom is a prime example. No one can see her at home even without makeup on and her hair done. I only wear makeup if I have a meeting for work or something nice to go to, like a wedding. And the makeup I do wear is very minimal. It seems like a waste of money to me to put stuff all over your face every morning just to wash it off at night. A lot of the makeup I've seen is very expensive and the markup tutorials floating around Facebook have multiple products involved to reach the final look. I think my time and money is more valuable then how my face looks.
@kassyfry I get what you're saying. I will gladly go to the grocery store or run errands without makeup... but I do put makeup on if I have to go into work for a meeting or going out for the day more than running quick errands. I think it's a bummer for people who aren't comfortable enough in their own skin to be seen without makeup. I'll admit, I look better with it on, but it is not a necessity in my day to day life.
I work at the Kids Club at the gym and soooo many moms wear a shit ton of make up while working out. I don't get it. I rarely wear make up! I should but I don't haha
I work at the Kids Club at the gym and soooo many moms wear a shit ton of make up while working out. I don't get it. I rarely wear make up! I should but I don't haha
The one time you 100% should not be wearing makeup is while working out, and while sleeping. So bad for your skin. That's how you get acne.
I don't get why anyone participates in the Babies Sex thread. Unless I actually know you, I couldn't care less. I am happy for everyone to be excited but I have no idea why I would spend any time reading any of the posts in that thread? I think this has to be a UO because there are a lot of posts in that thread...
Me: 36; DH: 38 DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17! **TW** MMC & D&C Aug 2016
I am going reverse of one found over in July. I don't understand the women who wear tons of makeup and won't leave the house without it. My mom is a prime example. No one can see her at home even without makeup on and her hair done. I only wear makeup if I have a meeting for work or something nice to go to, like a wedding. And the makeup I do wear is very minimal. It seems like a waste of money to me to put stuff all over your face every morning just to wash it off at night. A lot of the makeup I've seen is very expensive and the markup tutorials floating around Facebook have multiple products involved to reach the final look. I think my time and money is more valuable then how my face looks.
Confession... guyssss... I don't know how to apply makeup. I've never owned any. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times someone has put it on my face: 1. My prom, 2. My wedding, 3/4/5. Bridesmaid in a wedding. I'm so fearful of the day my child may come to me and asks for help with makeup and I'm just like "lets call Nanny".
@Elyse1384 I completely agree. Couldn't have said it better myself.
my UO(or maybe PO): I really hate when people name their kids off the wall names and don't even think twice about what that will look like on their resumes or college applications. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of unique names, but a girl I'm friends with on Facebook(not irl) thought it would be cute to name her baby Stoner...yes, Stoner. Guess what her favorite pastime is? Lol
I used to be in charge of the interviewing process at my old job, and I've come across more crazy names than I count. There was a Royaltee, Sketch, Candelabra, Shithead(I guess this one is pernounced shy-thead, but it looked like Shit head to me), Phelony, Sparkle, Payzlee, oh and my personal favorite Rosacea(like the skin condition).
I love sporting No Makeup Monday (and Tuesday, Wednesday, thurs.. you get the picture.) edited to add: I'm just really bad at makeup. I think I look worse with it on. The most I can tolerate is a little eye makeup and lipstick. I can't stand foundation and the other cover up stuff.
I cut way beck on my makeup a couple years ago and started wearing glasses instead of contacts most days, and I feel like it improved my quality of life so much. It's easier and faster, no one comments that I look tired or sick because they are used to my plain face, and I can look super nice (by comparison lol) by just putting in contacts and wearing a little lipstick and eye makeup. I love it. That said, I don't judge anyone over this at all, just feel a little bad for those who feel to self conscious to even go to the store or the gym without makeup. I had an RA in college who dyed her eyelashes because she was so afraid that she would get a middle of the night res life call and have to see people without putting mascara on. That makes me sad.
Building on @Elyse1384's participation trophy, I cannot stand seeing a parent gently lecture a toddler who is acting like a little shit. This failure to say No or use a stern voice reaalllllyyyy puts me off.
I don't feel like I NEED to wear makeup, but I really enjoy it. I like looking nice. I love trying out new products and styles. I don't think it's time consuming. It takes me roughly 5 mins to put on a face of makeup in the morning and if I'm going out for the night I love the process of getting ready and taking extra time on it. It has nothing to do with feeling self conscious without it. That being said I don't wear it to work out, I'll go to the store without it, I take it off before bed. But I have no shame in wearing it daily and I often come home from work, shower, and reapply some for the evening.
My uo is that men get way too much of a pass for being lesser parents and contributors at home than their partners are. I have friends whose husbands never get up with their kids at night, don't even clean up their own messes, and insist on paying extra to send their kids to daycare when they are between jobs and their wives are working when finances are super tight. And this is somehow normal and acceptable. I don't blame their wives at all, because no one is in a position to force their partner to grow up or change their ways, but I do blame the men's parents and society at large. It is crazy to me that skills we just expect women to have and sacrifices we expect women to make are seen as above and beyond for men.
@ellie111227 I was just thinking about having a chat with my fiancé about needing to help me more at home. He's great with taking care of our DD so it's nothing to do with that. But I feel like I do all of the housework. I get home at 2:30 and he gets home at 6:30 so naturally there is more time for me to handle the chores and I'm fine with that to an extent. But is it fair that I come home from work and I take the dogs out, straighten/clean the house, pick up our DD, do a couple of loads of laundry, give her a bath, and cook dinner and all he has to do is literally come home, eat, and hang out?
Even in the morning we have to be at work at the same time. I get up an hour before him to take the dogs out, make breakfasts, coffee, and lunches, get myself ready, get DD ready and drop her at school. He lays in bed until ten mins before he has to leave, gets dressed and goes.
@LMMama I agree. I am a sahm, so I do the majority of the housework during the day, but once dh gets home, I expect it to be 50/50 from there out. Anything I didn't get to during the day or anything that specifically needs to be done in the evening is a shared responsibility. It's easier for us, I think, because dh stayed home with dd for almost the whole first year, so he gets it way more than most men. I honestly think a lot of men just don't have a concept of how much work goes on because they have never been expected to or taught to do it themselves. Good luck!
@ellie111227 My DH and I have discussed this a couple of times. He was actually the one that brought it up because he was annoyed that fathers are held to a lower standard. Granted, he doesn't do much housework right now, but that's by my choice. That said, he knows this and he wants to be a very helpful, involved father. I think he just doesn't like double standards and he sees this as a big one.
I totally agree that participation trophies are lame and learning to fail is good for kids.
I wear very minimal makeup everyday but I can totally go without to the store and gym and I don't care if people see me without it. I do enjoy putting on more for special occasions though. It makes me feel pretty. But I also kind of suck at makeup so most days it's light powder and mascara!
I did awe myself in the baby sex thread because I was so excited and it seemed like the appropriate place to awe but I agree, I never check it lol. Unless I'm super bored.
@LMMama I agree. I am a sahm, so I do the majority of the housework during the day, but once dh gets home, I expect it to be 50/50 from there out. Anything I didn't get to during the day or anything that specifically needs to be done in the evening is a shared responsibility. It's easier for us, I think, because dh stayed home with dd for almost the whole first year, so he gets it way more than most men. I honestly think a lot of men just don't have a concept of how much work goes on because they have never been expected to or taught to do it themselves. Good luck!
This. I think that most men just have no idea. It probably doesn't even occur to your DH what all you do everyday before he gets home @LMMama
@LMMama I agree. I am a sahm, so I do the majority of the housework during the day, but once dh gets home, I expect it to be 50/50 from there out. Anything I didn't get to during the day or anything that specifically needs to be done in the evening is a shared responsibility. It's easier for us, I think, because dh stayed home with dd for almost the whole first year, so he gets it way more than most men. I honestly think a lot of men just don't have a concept of how much work goes on because they have never been expected to or taught to do it themselves. Good luck!
DH and I have discussed this should an opportunity present itself for me to be a SAHM. I would love to be a SAHM, but right now that isn't financially possible. Since we both work, he has on several occasions had to spend the day solo with kids during daycare closures and that was enough for him to raise the white flag haha. He gets how exhausting it is! He admitted that it took experience it for just a day to realize how tough it is and how little he is cut out for it. Our agreement is that much like his job goes from around 8-5, my SAHM role would end when he gets home and we go back to parenting 50/50 just as we do today. Same for weekends - completely 50/50. Being a SAHM wouldn't make me his house b*tch which sadly is how I've seen one of the men in his family treat his spouse who stays home. Disgusting and upsetting.
@devow27 I hate Tom Cruise so much. I also totally don't get why he was considered super handsome. He's distractingly creepy. The worst part for me is that he does all these sci-fi movies that look really cool, then he pops up in the trailer and ruins it.
@erinh84 I know a 35 year old man named Keef. And yes, his parents were huge stoners. Poor dude.
@mrsw524 my h feels the same way. He finds it ready insulting that people just expect him to be lazy and incompetent. When I worked and he stayed home, people constantly asked him where I was when he took dd out or mentioned that he must be "babysitting," acting like caring for her is my default responsibility. That always pissed him off, too.
@LMMama I agree. I am a sahm, so I do the majority of the housework during the day, but once dh gets home, I expect it to be 50/50 from there out. Anything I didn't get to during the day or anything that specifically needs to be done in the evening is a shared responsibility. It's easier for us, I think, because dh stayed home with dd for almost the whole first year, so he gets it way more than most men. I honestly think a lot of men just don't have a concept of how much work goes on because they have never been expected to or taught to do it themselves. Good luck!
I agree that I don't think there is any negative intent behind it. I think he just doesn't even think of what I do before he gets home.
My uo is that men get way too much of a pass for being lesser parents and contributors at home than their partners are. I have friends whose husbands never get up with their kids at night, don't even clean up their own messes, and insist on paying extra to send their kids to daycare when they are between jobs and their wives are working when finances are super tight. And this is somehow normal and acceptable. I don't blame their wives at all, because no one is in a position to force their partner to grow up or change their ways, but I do blame the men's parents and society at large. It is crazy to me that skills we just expect women to have and sacrifices we expect women to make are seen as above and beyond for men.
I agree with all but the bold. I do put some blame on the partner. By not attempting to change the situation, you are only enabling it. Society is a certain way, until enough people stand up to change it. If you as a contributing partner in a relationship aren't standing up and saying no more daycare, you will watch our kid, you are no better than society's standard, or the parents who raised the man. More importantly, the child/ren in these relationships will continue to believe that this standard is the norm. Now if you want to have more traditional gender roles in your relationship that is totally different. But if you don't want that, and that is how it's being played out in your house, well then its up to you to change it.
I guess mine can be I love make up. For my wedding I actually told the make up artist that I know a lot of people want the natural look, but that wasn't for me. The bolder the better!
Married 12/17/2011 K born 8/31/12 C born 1/11/14 BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015 BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
@LMMama DH came home one day while I was on mat leave and said "What did you do today?". I'm sitting there completely ragged looking with an infant passed out on me who only fell asleep (I'm assuming out of sheer exhaustion) 5 minutes prior to DH waltzing in the door. My DS had terrible reflux and would scream around the clock unless I was shushing, bouncing and holding him. Sleep didn't exist. I said to him "I kept the child alive". He chuckled and said, "That's it?". I don't know what he was more frightened by... the look on my face or my hour by hour detail of what unfolded during the time he was out of the house. The first time he flew solo parenting, he practically cried tears of joy to see me. I think some men don't get it until they have to do it alone. Even then, they could get lucky and land on a 'good day', which still is a lot of work. Amazing and rewarding work, but hard, thankless work.
I'm also in the no makeup camp. Add in that the only things I ever do to my hair are brush it and/or put it in a ponytail or half ponytail. Given the choice between doing those things or extra sleep, I will pick sleep every damn time. On the special occasion I do put on makeup, DS1 never hesitates to tell me in alarm that my "eyes are broken."
I get stabby when I hear pregnant woman complaining/worrying about weight. No pregnant woman has gone 9 months with losing or not gaining a pound. What did you think was going to happen?
My UO is when women post pictures of their HPTs, still yellow with urine, in pregnancy announcements on Facebook. A FB friend of mine just did this and when asked her due date, she said, "mid September." Just couldn't wait to share the news, and the pee stick was the only way to prove it, I guess.
The phrase " wow factor" for some reason just drives me up a wall... maybe bc I watched a little too much say yes to the dress last weekend and they all say it but then it was just on a car commercial.
I'm with @FSUNole31 I love makeup. I wear it everyday and perfume. I color my hair too and keep my nails done too. It's just the way I was raised. All of the women around me did it.
The Mr is out of work/looking for work right now and I have no shame in saying that if I'm paying for DD to be in daycare FT, I do expect him to handle house chores and dinner. Honey, you are not applying for jobs ALL day everyday and you are not on vacation. Don't get comfortable!
My confession is that I do wear make up everyday. At the very minimum I wear tinted mostrizer with SPF and a little mascara. But for work, I usually wear "full makeup". The only exception is the gym, because that's just nasty.
My UO: I hate basketball season. I love baseball and football, but basketball is just something I can't get into. The only time I pay attention isn't during March Madness because I'm competitive with my bracket.
Also, if the Cowboys loose Sunday, I think I should be excused from work on Monday.
My uo is that men get way too much of a pass for being lesser parents and contributors at home than their partners are. I have friends whose husbands never get up with their kids at night, don't even clean up their own messes, and insist on paying extra to send their kids to daycare when they are between jobs and their wives are working when finances are super tight. And this is somehow normal and acceptable. I don't blame their wives at all, because no one is in a position to force their partner to grow up or change their ways, but I do blame the men's parents and society at large. It is crazy to me that skills we just expect women to have and sacrifices we expect women to make are seen as above and beyond for men.
I agree with all but the bold. I do put some blame on the partner. By not attempting to change the situation, you are only enabling it. Society is a certain way, until enough people stand up to change it. If you as a contributing partner in a relationship aren't standing up and saying no more daycare, you will watch our kid, you are no better than society's standard, or the parents who raised the man. More importantly, the child/ren in these relationships will continue to believe that this standard is the norm. Now if you want to have more traditional gender roles in your relationship that is totally different. But if you don't want that, and that is how it's being played out in your house, well then its up to you to change it.
That's a valid point, but I do think there is a fine distinction between enabling bad behaviour and just not being able to control someone else's actions. Without knowing the details of others' relationships, I don't want to hold women responsible for their husbands' actions.
I'm with @FSUNole31 I love makeup. I wear it everyday and perfume. I color my hair too and keep my nails done too. It's just the way I was raised. All of the women around me did it.
I think this is the reason I don't. I'm so unlike my mom it's a wonder that she actually gave birth to me. She even has a theory that your bra, underware, and socks must match because you never know when you might be in an accident and ended up at the hospital for everyone to see your undergarments.
My UO is when women post pictures of their HPTs, still yellow with urine, in pregnancy announcements on Facebook. A FB friend of mine just did this and when asked her due date, she said, "mid September." Just couldn't wait to share the news, and the pee stick was the only way to prove it, I guess.
edited cuz gif problems
With their first child, my brother and his wife went to Wal-Mart and bought a pregnancy test, she took it in the bathroom, and then they posted a picture of it on FB while still in Wal-Mart.
I was both pissed that he wouldn't have shared it with me at least in a phone call and appalled at, well, that.
Elyse1384
member
Re: UO Thursday - 1/12
Me: 36; DH: 38
DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17!
**TW**
MMC & D&C Aug 2016
DH: 29
DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017
my UO(or maybe PO): I really hate when people name their kids off the wall names and don't even think twice about what that will look like on their resumes or college applications. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of unique names, but a girl I'm friends with on Facebook(not irl) thought it would be cute to name her baby Stoner...yes, Stoner. Guess what her favorite pastime is? Lol
I used to be in charge of the interviewing process at my old job, and I've come across more crazy names than I count. There was a Royaltee, Sketch, Candelabra, Shithead(I guess this one is pernounced shy-thead, but it looked like Shit head to me), Phelony, Sparkle, Payzlee, oh and my personal favorite Rosacea(like the skin condition).
I also really hate the name Nevaeh.
Eta: names not namfes.
DH: 29
DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017
edited to add: I'm just really bad at makeup. I think I look worse with it on. The most I can tolerate is a little eye makeup and lipstick. I can't stand foundation and the other cover up stuff.
Edited for making no sense
Even in the morning we have to be at work at the same time. I get up an hour before him to take the dogs out, make breakfasts, coffee, and lunches, get myself ready, get DD ready and drop her at school. He lays in bed until ten mins before he has to leave, gets dressed and goes.
I wear very minimal makeup everyday but I can totally go without to the store and gym and I don't care if people see me without it. I do enjoy putting on more for special occasions though. It makes me feel pretty. But I also kind of suck at makeup so most days it's light powder and mascara!
I did awe myself in the baby sex thread because I was so excited and it seemed like the appropriate place to awe but I agree, I never check it lol. Unless I'm super bored.
I'll have to come back with a good UO!
@erinh84 I know a 35 year old man named Keef. And yes, his parents were huge stoners. Poor dude.
K born 8/31/12
C born 1/11/14
BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015
BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
Me: 29 DH: 35
Married: 9/29/12
DS #1: 3/8/15edited cuz gif problems
Me: 31 DH: 34
Married 11/09/2013
LO#1: LMP 09/14/2014 BFP 10/15/2014 EDD 06/24/2015 DS Born 06/14/2015
LO#2: LMP 09/18/2016 BFP 10/19/2016 EDD 06/27/2017 DD Born 06/27/2017
LO#3: LMP 05/16/2018 BFP 06/18/2018 EDD 02/20/2019
Honey, you are not applying for jobs ALL day everyday and you are not on vacation. Don't get comfortable!
#sorrynotsorry
My UO: I hate basketball season. I love baseball and football, but basketball is just something I can't get into. The only time I pay attention isn't during March Madness because I'm competitive with my bracket.
Also, if the Cowboys loose Sunday, I think I should be excused from work on Monday.
With their first child, my brother and his wife went to Wal-Mart and bought a pregnancy test, she took it in the bathroom, and then they posted a picture of it on FB while still in Wal-Mart.
I was both pissed that he wouldn't have shared it with me at least in a phone call and appalled at, well, that.
MMC: 09/13 (9 weeks)
DD: Born 8/22/14
Babies #2 & 3: Due dates 6/9/17
And my other love: writing