@Partyof6? Omg we are only going from 1 to 2 and I didn't even accidently get pregnant I paid for this baby and STILL think "what the fuck were we thinking" pretty regularly. It's crazy how much falls on moms. Not even like gender role stereotypes like cooking and cleaning but like just the expectation you know wtf is going on all the time. Planning parties and pretending like you like other kids parents so your kids have friends. It's just so exhausting.
@Partyof6? Omg we are only going from 1 to 2 and I didn't even accidently get pregnant I paid for this baby and STILL think "what the fuck were we thinking" pretty regularly. It's crazy how much falls on moms. Not even like gender role stereotypes like cooking and cleaning but like just the expectation you know wtf is going on all the time. Planning parties and pretending like you like other kids parents so your kids have friends. It's just so exhausting.
This is the thing that terrifies me most about parenting. I mean, aside from the big "keep baby alive" stuff. I just... I am not an outgoing person. I want my kid to find friends whose parents feel similarly. We can sniff each other's butts, figure out where each family stands on the big safety issues, and then see each other at pick-ups and drop-offs.
My MIL, who is of the "breastfeeding is selfish" mindset has suddenly decided that BFing is somewhat ok now, but she's been very vocal that "I will need to pump and build a stash early on so I can take breaks." Not sure what planet she's from that she thinks pumping means less stress for me. She also needs to keep her opinions far away from my breasts and my baby.
I've cut myself off from all contact with her, she can be entirely DH's problem. Being assertive with her is futile, and I have zero patience left attempting not to rip her a new one. She's a freaking succubus with the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old. Gah damn.
@yogadevil at my BF class they had a pamphlet called "To The Grandmother of the Breastfed Baby" that was basically all about how to not be an a-hole about not being able to give your grandkid a bottle. My mom and I were laughing about it, but I think your MIL may need a copy to magically appear in her inbox.
@Partyof6? Omg we are only going from 1 to 2 and I didn't even accidently get pregnant I paid for this baby and STILL think "what the fuck were we thinking" pretty regularly. It's crazy how much falls on moms. Not even like gender role stereotypes like cooking and cleaning but like just the expectation you know wtf is going on all the time. Planning parties and pretending like you like other kids parents so your kids have friends. It's just so exhausting.
Oh yes. There's this little girl that DD plays with amazingly well. I used to work with her dad and he is one gruff/mean/cynical dude. Things that are funny or at least not super hurtful when said to adults just take on a whole different connotation when said to a three year old who just wants to play a little longer. But DD loves his kid so I'm making all kinds of overtures to his wife because fraaaaaands.
@Xstatic3333 oh I think I need that pamphlet!! I shouldn't have to defend myself/baby/choices to anyone but maybe having some tools on hand would ease things a bit
Awesome, thanks! I found this and others when I Googled just now as well. It's sad to me that these resources have to exist, being a new mom is hard enough without entitled MILs
@yogadevil both my mom and MIL gave so much unsolicited advice. I heard every single one of those comments from the bottom of that pamphlet. I'm trying to figure out how to not have either of them be at our house until I've established bf comfortably with baby.
@homemake oh man, I'm sorry you've gotten that crap from all directions
I wish we didn't have to justify not wanting to be around those comments. The baby isn't even here yet and if I hear "But it's muh graaaaandbaby" one more time I'm liable to shank someone
@yogadevil@homemake thats rubbish that you have to deal with that, im sure it sucks & adds stress you dont need! My mum is trying her very best to not give unsoliticed advice and contain herself but shes so excited she is literally ready to burst! Its very sweet but also funny sometimes. I dont see my mother in law very often or have any dirext contact with her (my husband does, were just not close in any way) so im unsure about how she'll be when the baby arrives.
@MissMerciBeaucoup I am sorry but I had to giggle... sounds kind of like the crap my *wonderful* MIL would pull.
My MIL hates showers and wanted nothing to do with mine... when we got married she told me if I had a bridal shower I was absolutely not allowed to invite her family, because she doesnt like going to theirs and didnt want to be expected to. When we put together the invites my SIL threw a fit that I wasnt being fair to MIL because I wasn't going to put MIL on the invites as a host. She was like well she will help in the morning setting up tables and stuff. So I should put down my step dad and brother and a bunch of other people as hosts? because they will help set up? So I put MIL on the invites, so as not to start yet another war with MIL (every time she got pissy about something I decided for our wedding she would send my husband texts complaining and then send group texts to the whole family about how we are family and need to get along... but she won't talk to me- she will tell SIL to text me about stuff even though she texts me too....)
I almost feel bad for my SIL, because when we all got together to plan the shower she told me none of Hs family would come because they "don't"--and my SIL didn't have a shower with family because her mom wouldn't have one-- but I get along with most of them great and now almost all of them are coming so far that have RSVP'd and I think its to prove a point to my MIL. Then I think of how SIL just tries to force things and be kind of conniving about it, and I don't feel bad for her.
Why do people who post to sell things on Craigslist then not bother to respond when someone is interested in your items? If it's sold, just say so. Anytime I've sold something I was sure to check my email regularly because I wanted to get rid of the damn stuff and get some extra cash. Grrr.
Have I mentioned that both my parents and my in laws are snowbirds at this point and no one will be around..... bliss. This is #4 though and they do not tend to criticize or questions my decisions, probably based on my profession more then anything. I am sorry for the MIL drama
@scottipino that does sound like bliss! (if it were just my MIL that was a snowbird LOL! she won't even spend the night somewhere other than her bed though, so never ever will she become one...)
I am lucky enough that my MIL just doesn't talk to me because "I cause tension" so she would rather sit next to me and ignore me at her big family Christmas- fine by me
My husband has been awesome lately...until tonight. He is bitching b/c we have no more paperclips in the house. So go buy some dummy. I am an overtired very sore pregnant woman who doesn't wanna hear it. I am not the office depot, and I can't fart out paperclips. I know I am cranky, but getting an attitude b/c you need a paperclip and can't find one is not something to piss and moan to me about right now. How about sitting all day at work tired with on and off BH, aching back legs and hips, now that is a complaint I can hear and understand right now
This week, DH has customers in town and has been working ridiculous hours. Tuesday till 1 a.m., last night till 9:30. When he got home and we actually had a chance to talk last night, he brought up the last scheduled project trip... It's for the week of 2/6, when I'll be 38 weeks. He really wants to go because he's worried about someone else messing up his project and delaying his transfer to a new department (something that was supposed to happen last August but kept getting delayed). I had a bit of a breakdown and he doesn't understand the absolute fear I feel every time he brings this up... Does he expect me to labor by myself and take Uber to the hospital if he can't get back in time? The trip would take him about 3-4 hours away (driving), but it's the beginning of February and covers areas that are known for ice storms and terrible snowy mountain driving. I know how seriously he takes his job, but really?!?! How can he even consider leaving me alone at that point?
I know that I may have the baby before then and this could all be a moot point, but it's driving me nuts that he doesn't empathize with me at all.
@MLRocha I hear ya! My husband travels Monday- Wednesday to Southern Illinois and back (we are in NE Ohio, so 9 hours ONE WAY). He said the other day that he was planning on going until the baby came and i just looked at him like dumbfounded. 9 hours he could legit miss the entire thing! So, I haven't brought it back up, but there will definitely be a cut off point a few weeks before. They will survive without him!
My Thursday BF! I bought two pairs of HM maternity jeans that have carried me throughout this pregnancy. Look like cute skinny jeans, weren't expensive and were comfortable.
I ripped a pair last week in the upper thigh/close to crotch area. I tossed em, because again cheap, maternity, we'd made it this far.
Well ladies I just ripped the second pair in the same damn spot. Today I am overseeing the year down of the Rockette's store that I installed in November. I don't have anything else to wear to everyone is gonna get a good glimpse at my inner thigh.
I have a baby shower on Saturday, that thankfully I was not planning on wearing these jeans for. But this is it. It's over. After Saturday this kid better be on the way soon. I have no more pants to wear, it's winter and i need pants and I'll be damned if I buy one more piece of maternity anything.
I am half furious half amused at the situation.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
@krob I'm in a similar situation for work clothes. I bought as little maternity work stuff as possible, and so my rotation of outfits at is down to 2 at this point and I refuse to buy anything more... So I'm just sticking it out and hoping I don't grow out of these/they don't start to look ridiculously tattered.
@krob, leggings?? I am down it a few random pairs but stretchy leggings and dresses still generally works. I had a similar pair tear from gap the last time around- complained and got them refunded. They were not exactly cheap though and was annoyed on the quality. Can we be done yet?
@krob that is beyond frustrating. We're all going to have to go pants-less soon if this keeps up!!
I'm officially switching to stretchy, over sized, unattractive (for my figure) maxi skirts and whatever the heck shirt/big ugly sweater I can fit into. It seems every other day I am growing out of something else and I can't buy any more when I'm this close!!
I bought a cheap maternity dress for my baby shower that will be happening this coming Saturday. I bought it this past weekend, tried it on in the store and it was fine. Tried it on again last night to see what it looked like with leggings and it was definitely way more snug than it was less than a week ago. What the heck.
the main issue is winter and i live in NYC so leggings won't cut it. and i only have one pair of maternity leggings.
thankfully for the next week temps look fairly mild here so I may be able to get away with tights and dresses. But if temps go back down into 20's I will just be hibernating
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
@krob Walmart sells iron-on denim patches in their sewing section. They aren't pretty... but if you pull the rip tightly back together, and iron the patch to the inside you might be able to stretch them your last few weeks!
@krob Walmart sells iron-on denim patches in their sewing section. They aren't pretty... but if you pull the rip tightly back together, and iron the patch to the inside you might be able to stretch them your last few weeks!
@krob it's -25 here and around 0 generally and all I wear are leggings I'm not exactly warm by any means, but at some point, no matter what I'm wearing, my ass is gonna be freezing. So I decided to go with comfy. I've been done and over pregnancy for about a month now.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
My Friday b-fest is my OB. She does monthly appts until 36 weeks and then drops to weekly, so I haven't been in since 32 weeks and go back next Wednesday for my 36 week.
In the last month I've freaking fallen apart. I'm fairly certain I've developed pica for ice cubes because there are times I can literally think of nothing else except chewing ice and will suck down water so I can get to the ice. I've just started getting a 20oz cup of ice from the cafeteria because f water.
In addition, and I've complained about this before, but the swelling and now carpal tunnel is out of control. This cannot be normal, but because poking my feet/legs doesn't leave an indent, I feel like I can't call. I broke down this morning because my hands hurt so effin bad and I have no strength in them. You may as well chop my fingers off because I feel like my hands are useless stumps.
I tried moving my Wednesday appt sooner but she's on vacation today through Tuesday and I have her very first appt Wednesday. Whatever, you're welcome to take vacations, but maybe don't do a month between appts this late and proper monitoring could have avoided some of this misery!
It's far from Monday, but my BF is that my oldest came home with lice from school on Thursday. We have spent the last 2 nights nit picking hair. So done and not what we needed right now. Trying to not make it a big deal because it isn't her fault at all. Lice like clean hair the best. But between the stomach bug last week and now this I feel like we should never leave the house.
Oh man @scottipino that sucks, sorry you're dealing with that now of all times. I remember being in panic mode posting about that way back at the beginning of the summer when I first started on here! I hope you're able to get rid of it quick!
@Jab3@ColeBug89 thanks! So far I haven't seen a live one in 2 days but still finding nits. I treated first with meds and then last night with the cetaphil method. There is resistance in our area so hoping the cetaphil method will be it. I am now doing at least twice daily inspections and we are quarantined to the house for the weekend. Not spreading the love to anyone else
Re: Monday B*fest 1/9
I've cut myself off from all contact with her, she can be entirely DH's problem. Being assertive with her is futile, and I have zero patience left attempting not to rip her a new one. She's a freaking succubus with the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old. Gah damn.
But DD loves his kid so I'm making all kinds of overtures to his wife because fraaaaaands.
https://www.healthpoint.co.nz/download,407961.do
I wish we didn't have to justify not wanting to be around those comments. The baby isn't even here yet and if I hear "But it's muh graaaaandbaby" one more time I'm liable to shank someone
Toddler.
Thats all.
My MIL hates showers and wanted nothing to do with mine... when we got married she told me if I had a bridal shower I was absolutely not allowed to invite her family, because she doesnt like going to theirs and didnt want to be expected to. When we put together the invites my SIL threw a fit that I wasnt being fair to MIL because I wasn't going to put MIL on the invites as a host. She was like well she will help in the morning setting up tables and stuff. So I should put down my step dad and brother and a bunch of other people as hosts? because they will help set up? So I put MIL on the invites, so as not to start yet another war with MIL (every time she got pissy about something I decided for our wedding she would send my husband texts complaining and then send group texts to the whole family about how we are family and need to get along... but she won't talk to me- she will tell SIL to text me about stuff even though she texts me too....)
I almost feel bad for my SIL, because when we all got together to plan the shower she told me none of Hs family would come because they "don't"--and my SIL didn't have a shower with family because her mom wouldn't have one-- but I get along with most of them great and now almost all of them are coming so far that have RSVP'd and I think its to prove a point to my MIL. Then I think of how SIL just tries to force things and be kind of conniving about it, and I don't feel bad for her.
I am lucky enough that my MIL just doesn't talk to me because "I cause tension" so she would rather sit next to me and ignore me at her big family Christmas- fine by me
I know that I may have the baby before then and this could all be a moot point, but it's driving me nuts that he doesn't empathize with me at all.
Trying to write out cards with pregnancy induced carpel tunnel
It's so not fun when your hand goes numb after a few seconds just trying to write.
Also, H drove my car for an appointment yesterday and left it empty. So not ok right now!
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
I bought two pairs of HM maternity jeans that have carried me throughout this pregnancy. Look like cute skinny jeans, weren't expensive and were comfortable.
I ripped a pair last week in the upper thigh/close to crotch area. I tossed em, because again cheap, maternity, we'd made it this far.
Well ladies I just ripped the second pair in the same damn spot. Today I am overseeing the year down of the Rockette's store that I installed in November. I don't have anything else to wear to everyone is gonna get a good glimpse at my inner thigh.
I have a baby shower on Saturday, that thankfully I was not planning on wearing these jeans for. But this is it. It's over. After Saturday this kid better be on the way soon. I have no more pants to wear, it's winter and i need pants and I'll be damned if I buy one more piece of maternity anything.
I am half furious half amused at the situation.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
I'm officially switching to stretchy, over sized, unattractive (for my figure) maxi skirts and whatever the heck shirt/big ugly sweater I can fit into. It seems every other day I am growing out of something else and I can't buy any more when I'm this close!!
I bought a cheap maternity dress for my baby shower that will be happening this coming Saturday. I bought it this past weekend, tried it on in the store and it was fine. Tried it on again last night to see what it looked like with leggings and it was definitely way more snug than it was less than a week ago. What the heck.
thankfully for the next week temps look fairly mild here so I may be able to get away with tights and dresses. But if temps go back down into 20's I will just be hibernating
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
That said I don't even think there is a Walmart in NYC. Maybe Target has something similar....
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
In the last month I've freaking fallen apart. I'm fairly certain I've developed pica for ice cubes because there are times I can literally think of nothing else except chewing ice and will suck down water so I can get to the ice. I've just started getting a 20oz cup of ice from the cafeteria because f water.
In addition, and I've complained about this before, but the swelling and now carpal tunnel is out of control. This cannot be normal, but because poking my feet/legs doesn't leave an indent, I feel like I can't call. I broke down this morning because my hands hurt so effin bad and I have no strength in them. You may as well chop my fingers off because I feel like my hands are useless stumps.
I tried moving my Wednesday appt sooner but she's on vacation today through Tuesday and I have her very first appt Wednesday. Whatever, you're welcome to take vacations, but maybe don't do a month between appts this late and proper monitoring could have avoided some of this misery!
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17