In Laws Holiday Plans

ItsGreen

I'm curious what everybody's Holiday Plans with their in laws are because no mater how many times I tell my MIL her options she tries to change it for her own selfish benefits.

This might be long and confusing but I am so frustrated, I have to get it all out. 

Last year we had our first child in February so she had lots of time/warning and in the end we did Christmas Eve with them for a rushed hour before going to my FILs cousins house for dinner. I had preferred if we did dinner at my in laws only. After this happened I even thought we made a deal/came to an agreement that it was not to happen again this year. This year my FIL was "disappointed" that he wouldn't be going to his cousins house Christmas Eve. This made me really upset that he would rather be there then with his son, and granddaughter. At the last minute he got to go but without even consulting my husband and I. I had a baby on 12/22 so they assumed they would go there instead of our house. I actually never said Christmas Eve at my house was cancelled, I just said I wasn't making anything. So they took it upon themselves to do that AND invite themselves over Christmas Day and at the worst time; right when we were planning to go to my parents house and that's because we live 12mins from her sister and her sister was hosting Christmas Day at 2:30 so they got there at the perfect time. Where we were almost two hours late for my parents and all we did was exchange gifts in a very rushed presents in your face fashion. So now I have to confront my MIL again and make it clear that next year they can come to our house Christmas Eve or on 12/23 but those are the only options. I made it clear when I was pregnant that as long as my parents host Christmas Day we would be going there and I would not give up Christmas morning or try to go to two places in one day. 

So so that's why I ask what your plans are with your in laws. I know some people who have four families or more to see/visit and they don't have problems like I do with my MIL. I feel like she doesn't respect me. 

LaceyRae25

My in laws did us just as dirty this year! We spent this year with my husbands side of the family in idaho where we live. We spent x-mas eve with everyone grandpa & grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins which was a great day! But Christmas day mad me so mad! First off my mil didn't even want to cook she suggested we just have enchiladas. Wtf its Christmas you can't stop being lazy for one day and actually help plan a meal for your family?? I wasn't going to let that fly, I love cooking and knowing my family is feed well. I asked if she could at least handle making potatos and rolls which she barely aggred to. So because of this we ended up buying the whole dinner for 7 minus a damn bag of rolls and potatoes. Considering his parents are a lot better off than us you would think they could at least chip in a little cash since it was a prime rib dinner. Now come the day of I find out they have nothing for breakfast so I have to bring everything for breakfast as well to their house plus cook it alone. And when dinner finally rolls around she pulls out a box of potato flakes... I don't know why expect any better from her but it just really pisses me off. Normally I wouldn't be so mad over food but its literally my favorite holiday tradition cooking with my side of the family all day then eating together. I feel like she purposely shit all over my Christmas. 

Wino0920

I think it's ridiculous that you give your parents Christmas Day and them Christmas Eve. Why can't it be every other year it's switched. How can you expect them to arrange their holidays over you and you not for them? Do you really believe that having kids makes you queen of the family and family plans?? That is your husband's family and your children's grandparents. They deserve everything your family gets. Your family is not more important. 

lovesclimbing

Where is your H? You and he should be deciding what you are doing together and then he should be telling his parents what's what. Blood talks to blood. You should not be "confronting" your MIL about anything. If you and he had decided to go over to your parents and then his parents came over right before, why didn't he turn them around at the door and tell them you would be leaving in 10 minutes? The two of you need to present a united front.

Also, I'm with @Wino0920 in that I think it's really unfair to never do Christmas with his parents. 

mummsquish

I think switching every year is MORE ridiculous. Most families I know split between Christmas eve one side and day with the other. Much easier for kids to have consistent traditions.