Adoption

Surrogate mothers: need the advice how to find the best agency?

Hey guys! I'm new to this forum. My husband and I had a son but he passed away at birth in 2005. And we had our daughter in 2007. So she's 9 yrs old now. Pregnancy is very hard on my body so I have chosen not to have any more biological children. We've talked about surrogate mothers for years, and now we finally feel ready to expand our family. We're looking for a trusted agency. So if anyone has any advice or anything else in the process I'd love to hear it! Besides it would be helpful to know more information about this matter! Thanks!

Re: Surrogate mothers: need the advice how to find the best agency?

  • A good place to start would probably be with your OB/GYN. You could ask if he/she has any recommendations. And then always try to find reviews on any agencies you look into. I'm not sure if that's something that would be on Yelp, but maybe?
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  • @britters314 had a good suggestion but you may also consider asking adoption agencies since they would probably be able to recommend some good agencies as well. Just be sure to do thorough research on any agency you're considering.
    Me:28 | DH: 28
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  • KasyaTOOKasyaTOO member
    First Comment Photogenic
    edited April 13
    **Removed for TOU violation**
  • sallhysallhy member
    10 Comments
    I don't have idea with the agencies but in my opinion adoption is better than surrogacy. This due to the fact that some surrogate parents feel attached with their offspring ans some changes their mind. While in adoption, parents are already willing to let their children be adopted.
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  • sallhy said:
    I don't have idea with the agencies but in my opinion adoption is better than surrogacy. This due to the fact that some surrogate parents feel attached with their offspring ans some changes their mind. While in adoption, parents are already willing to let their children be adopted.
    I don't think surrogate mothers have any legal claim to the child if they feel attached or change their mind. It isn't biologically their child (unless maybe they are an egg donor and surrogate, but that isn't usually the case). In adoption, parents can change their mind up to a few days after birth (exact amount of time varies by state) and it's not uncommon for that to happen.
    Me: 25   H: 24
    TTC #1: September 2015 - October 2016
    NTNP: November 2016 - present
    TSH levels brought down from 4.56 to 1.69!

    Foster Care process
    Finished licensing requirements: June 2017
    Waiting for our first placement!
    BusinessWife
  • BusinessWifeBusinessWife member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 14
    sallhy said:
    I don't have idea with the agencies but in my opinion adoption is better than surrogacy. This due to the fact that some surrogate parents feel attached with their offspring ans some changes their mind. While in adoption, parents are already willing to let their children be adopted.
    Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but that isn't what the OP asked, at all, so I'm not sure this is the place for it. 

    OP- so sorry about the loss of your son.  That must have been incredibly painful, especially after such a difficult pregnancy, too.  I don't blame you for not being excited about carrying another pregnancy after such an ordeal.  I don't have any experience with surrogacy, but I wonder if a consult with an RE might help steer you in the right direction?  If there is a donor embyo situation or not sure how you plan on going about it, presumably there would be a doctor involved who you'd be working with? GL

    ETA there's also a 3rd party reproduction board here on TB where the ladies may have more experience with this.
    "Perky Sassy Sugar Socks"

    Me: 33 | DH: 40 ~ Married / NTNP #1: 05.30.2015 ~ TTC #1 November 2015

    5/16 - Began Creighton Method CM Tracking / Napro Fertility Medicine | Progesterone + various abx cycles - all BFNs
    8/16 - SHG: ute good, at least one tube open | Adrenal saliva test: chronic stress cortisol levels -> started adaptogens
    10/16 - azoo dx confirmed. more bw + TRUS to determine differential dx. 3/17 - genetic labs, renal & repeat scrotal u/s.
    No known genetic cause found. Vas tubes appear absent on repeat exam. DH started Clomid in prep for MESA/TESE
    4/17 - Initial RE Consult for me. | DH's F/U bw shows great T response! but also elevated FSH, making the possibility
    of a successful vas reconstruction less likely, IHHO. | Waiting for DH's exploratory/retrieval attempt till after 06/06/17.





    britters314
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  • I'm very sorry for your loss. Maybe try a local reproductive endochronogist clinic. They should be able to get you started. Best of luck.
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